Chapter 3

Johanssen lay there silently for a moment, staring at the ceiling of her bunk. She'd taped a bunch of pictures up there – her little sister, her parents, the beach. She couldn't really make out the pictures in the darkness, but she had every detail memorized. And there was one of her and Beck when they were in training – fresh-faced young idiots too brave to realize the insanity they'd signed up for – not that she would trade a minute of it. He had one of those trademark roguish grins of his, which she could picture perfectly. She didn't know why, but it never really crossed her mind that he would be interested in her. He had certainly never indicated any interest in her, but now here he was, stranded on Mars – for her, and it made her heart race.

"Oh, really, Beck?" She said after a few more moments of awkward silence. Then she gritted her teeth and rolled onto her side to face him with a pained expression. "You couldn't have told me that before I rolled over? This isn't as easy as I make it look."

He just smiled uneasily. He had no idea where this was going to go and at that moment, that was more terrifying than being stranded on Mars. "Sorry, but, to be fair, you did drag it out of me."

"Tell me again," she said, staring into his eyes. She could see, and found it adorable, that he was slightly terrified.

He studied her face carefully, trying to discern what she was thinking in the near-darkness, but her poker face was far better than his. He was trying to tell if she was forcing herself not to smile, because it certainly seemed that way – or maybe that was just him hoping. "What?"

"I want to see your face when you say it," she replied.

"You… uh… again? Really?" he stammered.

She nodded slowly, a smile spreading across her face. "Go on."

He tried to psych himself up. Surely, she wasn't asking him to repeat it, just so she could reject him. "I love you," he whispered. "I've loved you… for a long time."

"Why didn't you want to tell me that?" she asked curiously.

"How could I? Before, it was the mission. If you didn't feel the same… or didn't want to hear it."

"Why didn't you want to tell me just now?"

"I don't want you to feel like you owe me anything, just because I stayed behind for you. I made my choice, it's not up to you to validate it. However you feel towards me doesn't matter. I did what I had to do."

"You think this is about me? You're trying to protect me?"

He gave a slight nod. "Yeah, I suppose I am. Doing a piss poor job of it though."

"I know exactly how I feel. I don't doubt it," she said. She reached over and grabbed his hand again. "I've never questioned it. You don't need to worry about me. Well, not about that anyway." Her eyes darted away nervously for a moment. "But…"

"But you doubt me?"

She let out a deep sigh. "No, I just need you to be sure. I can't be the girl you fell for because there were no other options available. That's now what I want to be to you. I can't."

"Earth."

"Earth?" she asked uncertainly.

He nodded. "I've been head over heels for you since we started training together. I had plenty of other options on Earth. I mean come on – astronaut doctor. But I didn't pursue other options."

"You didn't pursue me either," she pointed out.

"Not fair to you or me – not with the mission coming up. If you rejected me or it didn't work out, whole mission becomes awkward and a strain on us both and maybe the rest of the crew. I had to play the long game."

"Long game?"

"I was going to tell you… if I worked up the courage, when we got back to Earth," he replied.

"You were willing to wait that long for me?" she asked, her voice went very quiet.

"Some things are worth waiting for, right?"

"Well, Earth is presently out of our reach. So, what about now?" she asked.

"Now?"

"Are you ready to pursue me? Because, I'll make this easier for you. I'm not running." She directed her eyes in the direction of her wounded side. "Couldn't run if I wanted to."

"Yeah, I'd like it if you didn't mess up my excellent stitch work."

"Catching me should be pretty easy then."

He laughed. "Classic Johanssen."

"And I don't want to run," she said. "So, why don't you just kiss me already?"

Beck smiled, try as he might to force his mouth not to. He decided he was already all in, and there was no going back now, so might as well put it all on the table. He slid across the bed, closing the already small distance between them, until his face was just inches from hers. "Since the day I met you, I've thought you were brilliant and simply amazing. I love you, Beth Johanssen. And I don't care if the whole planet knows it."

She couldn't keep the excitement that had been building in her off her face any longer, but she rolled her eyes at the last comment. "That last part was a bit cheesy."

He shrugged. "Well, that's part of my charm."

She touched her hand to his face. "Yeah, it is." She arched a deliberate eyebrow and moved closer to him, so that the tips of their noses almost touched. "I am so angry at you for staying behind but also relieved. It's an odd state to be in."

He leaned the couple of inches to press his lips to hers, when suddenly her hand was on his chest, pushing him back. His heart fell.

"Damn it," she said. "Weather antennas!"

Confusion clouded his face.

"Sorry," she said apologetically. "I do want to kiss you. We're definitely coming back to that, but I just had a thought. We can't let the Hermes know we're alive because…"

"You broke the com array when you let the dish hit you," he deadpanned.

She smirked. "Right, right. But the weather antennas work."

It was evident to her by his face he still didn't understand.

"There are some low-strength antennas on the hab that constantly transmit basic data to the Hermes. Nothing major, just simple things like air pressure and temperature."

"So, can we send a message?"

She shook her head. "Not video, or even audio, too much data and they're not designed for that. But, if I could hack the system." She chuckled. "'Could.' Sorry, when I do hack the system, I could alter the data being sent. Instead of it sending the temperature, I could have it transmit any numbers we want."

"How does that help us? Are you thinking if we put in a ridiculous number for the temperature they'll think it's us? If they're even looking at the data feed still, they may just think it's damaged."

"No, we don't send just any numbers. We send 'five zero five.' We send it a lot," she replied.

"Five zero five?"

She nodded excitedly, her eyes beaming. "Think about it in your head. Visualize the numbers, not the words."

Beck's eyes narrowed as he focused on the numbers in his mind. "505… SOS," he said. "That's brilliant."

"You're surprised that I'm brilliant? You just used that word to describe me, yet you seem surprised," she said with a pout.

"I… um…"

"Oh, Beck," she said sympathetically and laughed out loud. "You're too easy to tease. But it's only brilliant if they see it and understand it. I need my laptop!"

"Right!"

"Go, go, go," she said and shooed him away.

Beck hopped out of the bunk a bit too energetically, drawing a pained groan from Johannsen.

"Sorry," he said. "Ummm… laptop…"

"On the back table," she said. "Get a move on, Beck!"

He ran and grabbed it and quickly brought it back to her.

"I'm going to have to sit up," she said. "Can you help me?"

He sat the laptop beside her, then put his arm beneath her and helped her sit up, leaning her back against the wall of the bunk as gently as he could. As he was about to pull away, she grabbed the sleeve of his shirt.

"I'll take that kiss now," she said. "For good luck."

"Yes, m'am," he replied and leaned in close. His heart raced when his lips touched hers, and all he could think about it was soft they felt. She gave him a wink when he pulled away.

Johanssen began to type quickly on her laptop. She chewed on her bottom lip as she tried to work through the coding.

"How's it coming?" He asked after ten minutes of her typing and mumbling to herself.

"Shh," she replied firmly. "I am in the Johanzone."

"What zone?"

"The Johanzone," she reiterated with complete seriousness.

"Well, we can't help who we love I guess," he joked. "No matter how big a nerd they may be."

She glanced at him and winked. "You got that right." She made a kissing sound with her lips and then resumed her focus on coding. Then she stopped and looked at him. "Hey, when's your birthday?"

"August 2, 1999," he replied. "Why?"

She shushed him again and resumed typing.

After another ten minutes, her typing had slowed considerably, and she appeared to Beck to be winding down.

Sensing he was about to speak again, she held up her hand to dissuade him from that thought. She typed some more then slammed her laptop shut with a victorious smile. "Hey, Beck, do you happen to know who the most badass hacker on Mars is?"

"Errr, I want to guess Martinez… but I don't think he's here?"

She smirked and rolled her eyes. "I'm taking that kiss back, pal."

"Sure thing," he said. He leaned down and kissed her again, deeply. "Did I give it back right? I can try again."

"Yeah, you should definitely try again. You completely failed."

Beck sat on the edge of the bed, leaning on one hand, he placed the other hand on the back of her neck as he leaned into kiss her. Her tongue darted into his mouth, eliciting a moan of pleasure from him. Kissing her was even amazing than he'd fantasized about many times in their long journey.

"Damn," she groaned when they stopped to take a breath.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she replied with a blush.

"What?"

She pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head. "It's slightly embarrassing to say."

"Ummm… I told you that I was in love with you. And without a reciprocation, which I'm not asking for, but I think that puts me at the top of the embarrassment scale."

"I just really wish I wasn't wounded right now."

Beck regarded her curiously.

"Hacking… kind've turns me on and kissing you doesn't help matters," she said, coyly.

"Oh… ah," Beck replied, now his turn to blush.

"And…," she let out a deep sigh. "It would be nice if I could show you rather than just tell you, that I love you too. How's that for your 'reciprocation'?"