I DO NOT OWN NARUTO OR ITS CHARACTERS BESIDES MY OC'S!!

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His face taunted my dreams all night. And I found that there was no hope for a peaceful sleep. His blazing blue eyes danced in and out of my nightmares, turning even the sweetest dreams into a night's hell.

I was lying stiffly in the hospital bed, Hokori was asleep in the armchair to my left and the door was closed tightly. I had checked to make sure for myself. I was thinking hard about things.

I better talk to Ryuu-sensei. Ask him if Hokori could stay with him for a short time while I find a more permanent place for him to stay. Funny how I didn't want Hokori to be with him in the first place, but it's better than the other option. My stomach clenched as I thought about it and I let out a sigh, I might have to send him to a boy's home. I might not find a place at all. Then where would we be? Back to living off the streets and pick pocketing strangers. Then, we would be back to killing rats for lunch and begging our father to get us a house while he stayed with his girlfriend and fucked her day after day.

I bit my lip and remembered how my mom had begged him to take better care of us. It was just her and me then. Just before she found out she was preggerz with Hokori.

Those were the hard days. The days we couldn't eat. And I remember how she wouldn't steal. She was so pure about all of that. I stole for her what she wanted after I got fired as a waitress in some little restaurant owned by some hick couple. She didn't ever know about those days, when I was chased out of shops. She didn't know I was fired until three weeks afterward, and I didn't bother explaining it all to her. I didn't explain to her, when I came back to her hours later with empty hands and an empty stomach. I would say I ate at the restaurant, would say I bought some food for myself, so she could eat. I didn't explain to her why I stole, that should have been self-evident. I did it to survive, because that's what it's all about, right? Others can die, as long as you're alive. As long as you survive, nothing else matters.

I smiled down at Hokori. He looked like our fat ass cat, curled up in a ball and mumbling to himself. My smile turned into a grin and I lowered myself willfully off the bed, next to him. I leaned in to his ear muttering things. When I was close enough. . .

"BOOP!" I squeaked happily in a high-pitched voice. He shot up so fast he hit his forehead into my jaw. I wobbled from being unbalanced and lurched backwards, hitting my head on the bed frame and laughing all the while.

"What the hell was that for?!" he screeched.

I looked at him and laughed some more. "C'mon, let's go get something to eat!" I said happily. He rubbed his eyes groggily and turned to the clock.

"What time is it?" he asked, he wasn't a morning person. Always cranky when he woke up. He complained that I was too chipper in the morning! He really needed a better judge of character; he couldn't even look in the mirror while his hair was mussed, looking like some dead bird's ass, and laughed. Instead he complained while I laughed. I think it's funny when I wake up and my hair looks like some mortifyingly ugly creature, but no! He just has to be perfectly organized and fancy. I'd swear he was exactly like our cat! Keba (yes, I know his name means fuzz!) is the laziest cat ever! He'll sit around and lick his own ass until it sparkles, and then he'll take a nap. Just like my adorable little brother (that was sarcasm, boys and girls, sarcasm).

I forgot what he asked; he yelled at me and struck my shins. "WHAT TIME IS IT!?" he yelled. I could just envision people stopping outside the hospital to look at our window.

"Uhh. . . it's. . . four?" I said, tilting my head as I stared at the clock next to the bed. It's flashing green letters winked at me through the darkness. I giggled slightly. As if it could wink!

"Like an ostrich," I mumbled.

"Ostrich?" my lil' bro asked. "You mean like-"

"I mean the flightless bird, yes brother dear. They have two toes and run really really fast! And they look like they got their heads stuck in a bottle so it couldn't grow right and they're fluffy!" I said, flapping my arms for emphasis and hopping up and down on my toes.

"Right. . ." he grumbled. What a little douche. I nodded in agreement with myself. It was the perfect insult for him! The little vag cleaner. Kind of like on those commercials with those fat guys who try to sell you products for cleaning materials that don't do shit.

I dragged him to the stairs and pulled my mattress after me. He looked at me quizzically as I let it lay at the top of the stairs. And then I jumped on it, sliding down. I fingers and toes clutched at the edges of the mattress and I felt like I was gonna be ripped in two from holding on so tightly. Laughing maniacally, I flew off at the bottom of the stairs and-

WHAM!

"Who put that wall there?" I groaned, rubbing my head furiously. I was slightly amazed that no one heard that.

"What are you doing out here?"

Nevermind.

I looked up. A nurse had stopped and was standing in the hallway in front of me. "Um. . . going for a walk? . . . to get food?" I said slowly.

She cracked a smile and helped me up. "What's your room number?" she asked gently as she walked me to the stairs. She stopped in front of the mattress, a puzzled look on her face. "Um-"

I tried to begin to explain it to her. "It was horrible! It jumped out from under me and hit my brother and I chased after it! It wiggled down the hallway and tripped me on the stairs! And- and- and-"

"Shh, we'll find a different room. Come on," she encouraged. Now I'll admit, I felt somewhat ashamed and somewhat guilty because of lying to her and ripping the mattress from the bed and using it like a sled. Actually, I don't feel guilty at all. Or ashamed. I felt kinda proud of myself. Yep.

We followed the nice lady down the hallways, I limped after her clumsily. But damn! Even with a limp, I looked as fucking gracious as an angel next to that woman!

She stumbled around a corner and banged her head on the wall.

"You drunk or something?" I asked impatiently, smiling despite myself.

She froze and turned to me. "No." and then she continued on down the hall, tottering slightly to her left. I cocked my head to the side like a puppy dog. Aw, I love dogs! Much better than cats, especially Keba. No I actually don't mean that, I love Keba, he's just obese for a cat. It's adorable.

Hokori glanced sideways at me. I shrugged and we continued to follow the lady. Whose name was still unknown.

"So. . ." I said slowly, trying to make conversation. "Have you. . . ever. . . milked a cow?" I inquired. Not only because of the awkward silence, but also because I personally like cows. They have spots and go 'moo!', so what's not to like about them? Other than how bad their farts smell.

"Um, no?" she raised an eyebrow and turned another corner. She grabbed my hand and shook it firmly. "This is your room, please. Don't ask any more questions here, it's not safe."

I nodded slowly and squeezed my hand as she pulled hers out of my palm. A small slip of paper crumpled up under the pressure. I frowned. "I'll see ya later!" I called down the hall to her.

She shook her head, a sad look in her eyes. "Hopefully not," she whispered to me, although I could tell that her words weren't exactly directed to me as much to herself. Strange girl.

I opened the door to my new room and turned to thank her. But she had disappeared down the boring white corridors.

I stepped over the threshold. This room was slightly better than the last, with some useful items. You know, like games and cards. AND a microwave. I walked slowly over to the microwave and plugged it in. There were a few cups of instant ramen on the top of the microwave and I filled one up to the line with water from the sink in the bathroom and popped it in for two minutes.

Then I surveyed the room. It was larger than the other one, and I jumped up on the bed to find it to be slightly softer. I grinned and bounced over and over again, Hokori watched with cynical eyes. I laughed slightly at him and landed on my ass, crossing my legs under me and patting the bed covers next to me.

He hopped up on the bedspread to my left and smiled. The microwave beeped and I threw a deck of cards at it, and then I remembered not to leave things in heated conditions for long. I hopped off the bed and pulled the ramen out of the microwave. I smiled as the steam rose and opened the pores on my face, I could smell the beef in it and my mouth began to water viciously.

I broke my chopstick and dug into the ramen. The beef flavor ran over my tongue and down my throat, warming my insides and causing waves of pleasure to lap over my taste buds. I grinned stupidly for a second, and then offered some to Hokori. He shook his head and sighed, stretching out his tiny body over the bed.

I smiled and caressed his hair until he fell asleep, his eyelids closing steadily. It was nearly morning and he hadn't slept very much.

Sighing, I stood from the bed, chucked the empty ramen cup into the trash and stepped into the bathroom. I ripped off my clothes and stepped into the jets of warm water, enjoying the water as it streamed down my back. I washed my hair and scrubbed my body clean, carefully avoiding the use of my palms as I did so. But soap seeped through the waterproof bandages, stinging my sore hands like a bitch. I bit my lip and pain and waited for the throbbing to stop, but it continued relentlessly. I stepped out of the shower and stood on the mat, wrapping myself in a fluffy white towel reserved for the most important hospital patients. Oddly, and pleasingly, it had just been run through a dryer, making it soft and toasty warm.

I dried my hair, then my shoulders, gradually working down so the water would naturally run off my skin as I went. I wrapped the towel around myself and stepped into the room. To my sweet surprise, clothes from my house had been supplied on an armchair in the corner. I grinned and snatched them from the chair, pulling them into the bathroom and slipping them on.

A nurse came just as I stepped out of the bathroom, pills and syringes in her arms. I frowned. Needles weren't exactly welcomed at this point. I could just feel them sinking into my skin as I thought about it. I withheld a shudder and sat on the bed, my legs crossed in front of me and my arms folded imperiously.

"What do you want?" I spat venomously, and then realized that my brother was gone. He probably wondered off, he usually does.

"The doctor ordered for me to take care of you medical needs. If you could just take these," she said, pouring out eleven different colored pills into her palm and holding her hand out for me to take them. "It would make my job a lot easier. But the doctor warned me that you'd have nothing of it, so if you don't comply-"she pulled out another needle as she said this. "-I'll just have to stick this in you."

I gulped and licked my lips. "You got anything for me to drink with these?" I asked angrily, who the hell did she think she was, ordering me around?

She nodded and pointed to one of the paper cups by the microwave. I slid one from the stack and filled it with water. I took a deep breathe and popped three of the pills in my mouth, one got stuck in my throat even with the water and I took another swig. Then I took the rest of the pills, one by one, because they were so big.

She motioned for me to sit down and stuck the first hypodermic syringe into the cap of some medication, lifting the tab at top of it so the liquid would fill up the small plastic cylinder. I groaned and held out my arm. She quickly grabbed hold of it, stabbed the syringe in my arm so fast I nearly fell over, and ejected the fluid into my veins. She repeated this process and plunged it into both of my wrists, by the base of my palm.

"Damn," I muttered as the needle withdrew finally.

Pulled my hands out in front of me and held them face up, unwrapping the bandages gently and peeling them from my skin with care. The bandages were now removed, and I caught a glimpse of the torn flesh it had been hiding. My hands were completely red and the middle of each palm was swollen with skin ripped back from the center. The dead skin was a ghastly white in comparison, and you could see how the kunai knives had been forced through the bones and muscle, and then how they were ripped out once more. I bit my lip to keep from gagging. The rugged skin did not look like it was supposed to belong to my body; it looked like something from a dead body, a corpse that had been dead for days with skin destroyed by warm, humid air.

Without warning, my ramen came back up. Vomit slipped from my lips and into a readily prepared trashcan for this purpose. The nurse had known such a thing would happen. She brushed my hair away from my face as I grabbed the wastebasket between my forearms, heaving into the black bin.

She patted my back as I finished and applied an antiseptic to my shredded palms. I screamed in pain and pulled away from her. She pulled me forward, holding me with a startlingly strong grip, and continued to wipe the strong disinfectant over the tainted skin. I shrieked and tried to rip myself away from her, thrashing in her grasp. Receiving the wound hadn't been so bad until the pain had sunken in, but by then I was too tired to fight back against it, this, however, was entirely different. There was no numbness, the pain was immediate, and I hadn't been fighting for my life prior to it.

I rammed my forehead in hers in one quick movement, she fell down to the floor unconscious. I breathed a sigh of relief. And then another nurse stepped through the door way. A needle was plunged into my chest before I could react, and I felt my mind go blank. I sank to the floor, next to the nurse, and watched through dead eyes as the other nurse stepped closer, a bottle of ointment in her hand.

It was the same nurse from the night, and she tenderly applied a healing salve to my palms, rubbing it gently in circles, I could hardly feel her fingers on my palm, it was almost as if it was done by some sort of phantom.