Castiel stepped on the gas of his old '78 Lincoln. He was lucky to have found it again after nearly two years. After his death earlier this year, he had been unable to retrieve his truck but was happy to find this car in a junkyard, in need of rescue.
Glancing at the passenger seat, Castiel had mixed feelings about working with Hannah. The two of them alone together in this car brought back memories of their travels together, or the friendship that had developed between them. But it also brought back memories of her violent death a year later, something he hadn't been able to forgive himself for.
Hannah sat against the passenger side door, gazing out the window. Silent. She had refused to talk or to even look at him for the past few hours. Castiel hadn't wanted to question her or to pry into her past, but it bothered him that this was not the Hannah he had known all those years ago. The confident, strong-willed, brave soldier Hannah he had known had been replaced by this shy, timid, withdrawn angel who seemed terrified of him. He wasn't quite sure how to talk to her, so he thought of their mission.
"Gabriel can likely be found in a place of opulence and iniquity; it's where he had been hiding before."
She said nothing at all, just glanced in his direction, acknowledging him. Castiel sighed. "Hannah," he said, "you don't… I'm not going to hurt you. It would be best for this mission if we were able to be open with one another."
"I don't know you," she responded softly. "You are not the Castiel from my world. You are just another angel…"
Castiel glanced at the road ahead, pondering her words. "Yes, I believe that was established at our first meeting," he replied. "Tell me about him. The Castiel you knew. Where you close?"
As Castiel waited for her to respond, he found his thoughts wandering to heaven and the angels here. On his recent meeting with Naomi. He'd harbored animosity towards Naomi for what she'd done to him in the past and had been less than pleased at seeing her alive, but he'd put that aside the moment she told him how few angels there were. He was one of the last of his kind, and nothing could soothe the immense sorrow he felt and knowing this. He knew the angels held little love for him, that they mostly loathed him, but he felt, deep down, no matter what he'd done, he needed their approval. That's why he continued to walk the fine line between loyalty to the Winchesters and devotion to the angels. Because all he wanted to be was an angel and even after all the things, they'd done to him, knowing he may never get the chance to win back their approval hurt in ways he never thought were possible.
"We worked together," Hannah's voice brought Castiel back from his thoughts. Perhaps she was the one angel in creation who didn't hate him. She didn't know him enough to hate him. At least that's what he thought. "We were colleagues."
"Under Michael?" Castiel kept making quick glances in her direction as he kept his eyes on the road. She never once turned to look at him, she kept her eyes glued to the scenery outside the passenger window. But he saw her shutter ever so slightly at the mention of Michael.
"Under Raphael," Hannah corrected. Castiel raised a brow. He hadn't considered that Raphael might be alive in the alternate world, considering the fact that he was dead in this one.
"Raphael," Castiel repeated. "Then he had a separate agenda?"
"He was in charge of certain… camps where humans were kept," Hannah hesitated as if it was causing her distress to continue with this talk. After a long pause on her part, Castiel let out a sigh and pulled the car over to the side of the road. She looked at him with apprehension.
"I don't know what crimes the angels are guilty of in your world," Castiel began, turning his full attention to her. "I don't know what Raphael did, what Michael did, I don't know what crimes my counterpart may have participated in-"
"Crimes?" she gasped with a confounded look as if she could hardly imagine he'd think that. "Your counterpart committed no crime."
"Then why are you so afraid of me?" Castiel insisted she tell him. He could sense it was painful and he hated forcing her to confess anything to him when it was apparently traumatizing for her, but he didn't see any alternative. They would find it difficult to work together on this mission if he didn't at least try to get through to her somehow. That Hannah he knew, she must be in there somewhere.
"I'd rather not say," she insisted, looking away from him again, trying hard to ignore that he was even there. Castiel sighed in frustration and reached out to touch her shoulder- something he instantly regretted.
She might have jumped entirely out of the car if there wasn't a roof above her. She gave out a yelp, "No, no!" she exclaimed, shrinking away from him as fast as she could. She fumbled with the car door, trying to get free, nearly falling out of the car when the door finally gave way.
Castiel quickly got out of the car and hurried around it to her as she scrambled to her feet and braced herself against a tree, holding her arms up in defense as her arms began to glow white.
Castiel stood his distance, holding up his hands cautiously. "Are you going to blast me with holy white light?" he asked as he watched the brilliant light form along her arms and hands. Her body trembled in fear as she squeezed her eyes shut in a grimace.
"I'm sorry," Castiel offered, not daring to come closer, even though he desperately wanted to reach her somehow. To calm her fears. He'd never imagined that she would have such a reaction to his touch. What could have happened to her?
Slowly the light in her arms faded and she lowered them, letting her body slump slowly down the tree as she curled into herself, hugging her arms around her knees and bracing her head against them. Castiel watched her for a moment, then cautiously moved closer, kneeling down in front of her. He waited. Said nothing.
"He died," she said after a time, her voice muffled as she buried her face in her knees. "The Castiel I knew… he died."
"You mentioned that before," Castiel replied slowly, he tried to search for words. He tried to reach for her again but stopped. He realized then what a broken, frail image of an angel she was. Angels were strong, hardy beings, and although they could feel things deeply, at a molecular level, it took a lot to reduce one to this. Castiel thought of Gabriel. How broken he had been. It made Castiel sick to think someone had done something to Hannah to reduce her to this level of trauma.
"I want to help you, Hannah," he urged as she lifted her head to look at him. He winced in sympathy when he saw tears glistening in her blue eyes. She looked at him as if noticing him for the first time.
"He and I were among the angels in charge of Raphael's camp," Hannah explained slowly. "Michael has launched a campaign of extermination upon humans, but a few, had been spared for labor and in case Michael may have use of them. Raphael was in charge of these camps, and he employed angels to guard the humans in the camps."
Castiel frowned, disturbed that his counterpart would have taken part in this abuse of humans. But he stayed quiet, encouraging her to continue.
"It bothered me how the humans were being treated," Hannah admitted. "I started to help them. At first, it was little things. Bringing them food, blankets… then I started to help them escape."
"And you were caught?" Castiel listened to her intently, not liking where this was heading. Hannah nodded.
"He caught me. My Castiel. I suppose he had suspected it. I should have been more careful. But I convinced him to help me, and he did, for awhile but… then Raphael caught us."
Castiel winced. He didn't have to imagine what Raphael might have done. "It's okay; you don't have to say anymore," he said. "You were brave, Hannah. It was right of you to help them."
Hannah shook her head. "My Castiel, your counterpart, was put to death for helping me. I got him killed! And I had to watch… what they did to him, it wasn't quick. And what they did to me after he was gone." Hannah looked away, squeezing her eyes shut.
Castiel watched as she stayed, huddled in against herself. There was still a lot she wasn't telling him, but he didn't need to know. Whatever Raphael had done to her had affected her so much, she couldn't even bare to be touched. No wonder she was so afraid of him. Castiel felt nothing but rage when he thought of Raphael and Michael and found himself hoping they found a way to get in here because when they did, he'd be ready for them and he'd make them pay for what they had done to Hannah.
"Hannah," he urged softly. She looked at him as he reached his hand out cautiously, waiting for her to take it. She looked at it hesitantly, as if she wasn't quite sure it was really there. Reluctantly, she put her hand in his, and he stood up, hoisting her up to her feet.
"I hate angels," she said, a bitter tone in her voice, raising her eyes up to meet his. "I've hated them for so long; I don't think I could ever stop hating them. So I joined the human resistance and fought to help destroy as many as I could. Is that wrong of me, Castiel?"
Castiel honestly couldn't answer her. He couldn't imagine hating his own kind. Even after the things he had personally endured because of them. Naomi's memory altering, the countless times he'd been hunted, tortured, and rejected. Even after all they'd done, he didn't hate them. Until now. Hearing what Hannah had been through made him sick. He felt revulsion for the angels in the apocalypse world. That they could be capable of such abhorrent things, to hurt Hannah the way they had, and then have the audacity to think of her a traitor when she had the courage to stand up for humans.
"I don't know," he said after a while. "Hannah, I would be lying if I said I didn't need your help. I do. Our people, here, in this world. The angels are dying. They're going extinct. There are less than a dozen of us left. We are the last of our kind."
Hannah stayed quiet. She squinted in disbelief, "I will help," she agreed. "I'll help you find Gabriel. And I will follow Charlie's orders. But I won't say I'm doing it for the angels." Castiel nodded and together, uneasily, they headed back to the car.
