"We've tried so hard to understand, but we can't.

We held the world out in our hands and you ran away."

-

The week passed in a blur.

When I'd checked my phone, there were about thirty missed calls. Most from my mother and none from Jacob.

When I'd called her, she had yelled at me for not telling her how I was feeling, much like Alice, but then explained that, honestly, she was proud of me, that I hadn't conformed to what everyone else wanted; that I had listened to myself.

She'd also told me that I needed to call my guests and apologize for the "inconvenience". I had to bite my tongue from giving her a nasty response; I wasn't in the greatest mood.

When I thought about the past Saturday, I felt....well, absolutely nothing. My mind wouldn't let me focus on it too long, in fear that I might break down. It felt almost as if it had never happened. I'd never hurt Jacob, broke his heart, left him all alone. That's what I tried to keep telling myself so that the guilt wouldn't eat me alive.

I thought about Edward, too. Bits and pieces of our night together flashed in my head once in a while and every time I remembered something, I couldn't help the smile that formed on my face. When someone can make you laugh on one of the worst days of your life, that's special. Edward was special. It made me sad that I would never see him again.

-

Today, I had to go to his apartment. Jacob's apartment. Before the wedding, I'd spent much of my time there, which meant that I had a lot of my stuff there, as well. It wasn't as if my running away had been premeditated, so basically the majority of my belongings were lying all around his apartment still. That is, if he hadn't thrown them out. I grimaced, hoping his anger hadn't gone that far, though I wouldn't blame him if it had.

I was familiar with Jake's working schedule so I picked a time when I knew he'd be out. I really did not want to face him, and I was sure that the feeling was mutual.

At Jake's door, I pulled the spare key I had out of my back pocket and slid it into the lock, pushing the door open. As I looked around the apartment, a sense of sadness washed over me. I'd been here a million times but now, things were different. This was not my second home anymore.

I was about to start my search for all my stuff when I heard the floorboards creak. I panicked. Was there a burglar?

I looked up towards the sound to see Jacob, standing in the hallway outside of our-his, room. He looked awful; his hair was sticking in every direction and looked as if it hadn't been washed in days; his shirt was stained with grease; there were bags under his bloodshot eyes. I winced.

I would've preferred the burglar.

"Bella?" His voice was squeaky. He began to walk towards me, but then stopped abruptly, about ten feet away, as if I had a disease or something.

"I-I didn't think you'd be here," I replied, looking down at my feet, anywhere but at him. "Aren't you supposed to be at work?"

"I got some time off for our honeymoon, remember?" He reminded me, his tone bitter and dark.

"Oh," I said, ashamed. "Well, um, I just came by to, um, get some of my stuff. But you know what, I'll go. I don't want to bother you. I'm so sorry." My words came out in a rush. I was desperate to leave.

"No, it's fine. Your crap is over there." He pointed at a huge garbage bag in the corner of the room. I walked over and opened the plastic bag, looking inside at its contents - clothes, toiletries, pictures, letters...everything.

My eyes roamed the apartment, finally noticing that the rooms were completely bare of anything that had to do with me.

Jacob had erased me from his life.

My eyes welled up, my heart breaking. For him, mostly. And for us. For everything that we had once been.

"I'm so sorry, Jake," I whispered. I knew he understood what I was apologizing for.

He did not respond.

"I know that I hurt you," I continued. "And I hate myself for it. But you're one of the best friends I've ever had." I frowned. "I just hope that, someday, you can forgive me and maybe, we can be friends. I really do love you, Jake. I'd hate to lose you forever." I bit my lip. I had never intended to say any of that but it had just sort of...come out. Stupid word vomit.

Jake's face was pained and he looked like he was trying to decide between crying and punching his fist through a wall. "Honestly, Bella," he whispered. "I can hardly even look at you right now, much less even think about being 'friends' in the future." If I hadn't been listening so intently I probably would not even have heard his soft-spoken words.

They were a slap in the face. A slap much deserved, though.

"Of course." I swallowed. "I understand. I'll just, um, go, okay? Goodbye, Jake." I shouldn't be here. I needed to leave.

He didn't say anything.

I quickly grabbed the bag and made my way out, dropping my key on the table.

I didn't even make it to the elevator before my sobs began. Heavy sobs that shook my whole frame; I couldn't stop them from falling.

I was such a horrible person. What had I done? I'd hurt the only person I'd ever loved. The pain he was in was because of me.

I hated myself then more than I ever had. Jake had been my best friend since we were in diapers and I had ruined everything.

And the worst part was that I didn't even regret it.

I finally got back to my building, making my way up to our apartment. The sobs still hadn't subsided and my face was soaked with tears. I closed the door behind me and threw the garbage bag on the floor. And then I just fell, collapsed right to the ground.

What had I done?

-

"It takes some time to let you go and it shows.

Cause all we know is falling, it falls.
Remember, cause I know that we won't forget at all.

You never, you never said
This wasn't what you wanted, was it? Was it?

This isn't what you wanted."

-

A/N: Sorry, this was really short. Song is "All We Know" - Paramore. By the way, Bella isn't regretting leaving Jake and she isn't in love with him. She is just feeling really guilty. Okay, just wanted to make that clear lol.