o3. Lotus Petals

He should have been almost seventy years old, and for all of the grief and pain and sin that had tainted his 24 year old body and 39 year old mind, he had perfectly rationalized accepting the age that he should have been as what he truly was. The only complication was her.

She was 13—no, it was 23 now, wasn't it?—with all of the daintiness and sweetness of her frozen child's face and all of the knowledge and needs of the adult she was cursed never to grow into, and whatever it was that he could have been—her brother, her uncle, her grandfather—it completely unbefitting of him to remain by her side as he did.

And now is worst of all, with her small child's fingers deftly tracing deceit and desire down his back and clasping hands that she knows are stained with the blood of 116 people— he wears his sleeves long trying to forget the 117th— and making him want so desperately to repress what he feels for them and acknowledge the one person who is beside him now. He's known Sharon's feelings for years and he's done everything he can to be family to her, to playfully redirect her affections to Oz or Liam or anyone who might save her from the inevitable heartbreak of feeling for someone who was already far too old and impure and broken for her.

But he's failed and now he's shown just how much, with Sharon laying soft palms on his cheek and those tiny fingers gently lacing through his hair and luring his face downward. Amaranthine eyes sparkling with tears reach and curl tepid spirals of haze around his senses, and now each gossamer touch wipes another year from his count and forces him to see her as an adult.

She seals their lips once and presses lotus petals into his mouth.

For the first time in his life Break understands what it must feel like to be drunk, though he's never been so completely sobered. He relaxes his back against the wall and pulls Sharon closer.


A/N: Amaranthine means both "red-purple" and "eternal"/"endless", which I thought was quite fitting, in some strange way. Not sure yet how I feel about this piece, though.