Authoress: I told you!! I'm working… was working…worked.. Um NEXT CHAPTER!!!

Alucard: You an embarrassment to nature, you know that?

Authoress: Yeah, I'm pretty sure!

Disclaimer: What wears red when is clashes? What wears clothes too tight for her? And what has an attitude that scares even the living dead? That's right! All the things I don't own!! I don't own Hellsing!!

I'm not Asking for Help

Chapter 3: Vampires at the Wafflehouse

Walking was something that often vexed Alucard to no end. It seemed pointless to walk when he had the power to fly, levitate, or dissolve in a screeching cloud of bats and fly on the wind. Unfortunately for this no-life king he didn't have the power at the moment. He was as helpless as a fledgling. It was even more degrading that having a 15-year old lead the way through a country-side he had never even heard of.

The girl had been rather helpful so far. She understood his drinking issue and could even accommodate for his sleeping habits. She really wasn't that much a burden, but if other vampires caught wind of his status in power and that he was being lead around by this… child- woman. Well, let's just say he hoped things wouldn't get to the vampire world.

"Where is Missouri, anyway?" he asked suddenly, tired of the silence, only able to hear the crunching of the gravel below their feet.

"It's central United States," the previously mentioned adolescent told him. She was sure they were near the interstate now. The two just had to follow that for a while. A grumble interrupted her musings and she blushed brightly. Putting a hand to her near empty stomach, she sighed. Alucard raised a brow.

Throwing down her bag, she shuffled through it, muttering to herself the various contents that lie within, and groaned. All the sandwiches and all the multi-flavored nutrition bars she had managed to stifle were gone. It had only been a couple of days of walking! With a whimper, she zipped the bag back up and threw the bag over her shoulder.

"If you are hungry, shouldn't you eat?" Alucard asked, looking up to the stars. They had been traveling by night because he wouldn't risk his current form in the sunlight. In that pack of hers she had a mat that she slept on and he was content with sitting against a tree or the wall of an abandoned shed they'd come across (1).

"I used up all my food supply," Rachel said dejectedly, ignoring the pleading call of her stomach. Nodding in understanding, he looked around. They had left the wooded areas behind and were now walking along the highway shoulder, which cut through large fields of various crops. This was not the season for the crops however and nothing look rather healthy to eat.

Then, down at the edge of the next hill, stood salvation. Sitting on the outskirts of a small highway town, far enough not to gain attention from the town, was a black and yellow sign Rachel knew.

"A Waffle House!!" she exclaimed and dashed down the hill. The red-clad vampire was not far from behind her, on her heels.

"And what in heaven's name is a Waffle House?" he asked skeptically as they neared the glowing building.

"It's a 24-hour diner! They serve breakfast all day too! Their prices aren't bad either! I think I can easily afford them," she said excitedly and pulled open the flimsy glass and metal door, stepping inside.

Immediately the sound of an old 60's song was heard, which was accompanied by the smell of bacon. Rachel wasted no time and sat down happily at one of the cushiony stools at the high counter. Looking around, the youth counted about three workers. That was usual for the midnight shift.

A round woman with the warmest smile Rachel had ever seen walked up to the counter where Rachel was seated and where Alucard was hesitantly taking a seat. She wore a yellow and blue apron, a pad of paper in her palm and a pen at the ready against a fresh order sheet.

"What can I get for you, honey?" the waitress asked kindly, her voice sweet sounding and homely. Rachel had the vague sense of being in the presence of an aunt that she was nearly related to.

"Oh… Um… I think I'll just have some eggs and bacon. Oh and a glass of your chocolate milk!" the teenager said happily, elated for regular cooked food. Alucard shook his head when the woman questioned him and she turned, telling the order to the stocky looking kid at the large metal stove.

"I would've expect to receive more looks of interest," Alucard muttered and shrugged, looking around the small diner.

"This is a Waffle House. They don't discriminate and they don't' care who you are. They just serve you," Rachel told him with a smile. Alucard again thought the kid was way to trusting. When he opened his mouth to retort, there was a tingling in the back of his mind.

Crimson colored eyes turned and landed on two pale, sickly looking boys. They were thin and gangly, but having a sort of over-human beauty. One had greased back black hair, the other had dark red died hair sticking out in all directions. Their eyes were an amber red and all four eyes were directed at him. Vampires.

'HERE?!' His mind screamed and was momentarily surprised by Rachel's small cry of joy when her food came. Shaking his head, she let her eat and kept his eyes on the two at the booth, both only sipping small amounts of their sodas.

A slowly crawling twenty minutes followed as Rachel ate her food with a pleased smile. There was silence except the Beatles song that turned into a Bee Gees single and the small tinkling of silverware on a plate and someone washing the dishes in the back. No one was talking and the vampire boys in the corner booth had not taken their eyes from Alucard or the girl. Alucard swallowed a growl in his throat, knowing the look in their eyes.

"See, what did I tell you? Very nicely priced!" she said, flashing the bill his way before digging in her pocket and setting the money on the paper on the counter. Alucard stood and made to leave. Rachel frowned, but scurried out after him. The plump woman waved after them as they left. When the waitress looked to the only other customers, they were already gone, their money on the table.

"Hey, what's the hurry?!" the brunette yelled after him and caught up, panting slightly. She had to take three steps to compare to just one of his strides. It was rather trying.

The vampire in question slowed and looked back at her, then past her. As he suspected. The two midians had abandoned their booth in the diner and were exiting, their target already picked out. He smirked. He supposed they thought he would share his teenage guide as a snack. They were sadly mistaken.

"Rachel, get behind me," Alucard said, giving a small growl. Rachel blinked and then frowned. Following his eyes, she looked behind her before gasping and moving forward, standing behind him.

The two young vampires were sauntering up towards the two, hands in their pockets. They wore grins as if finding a little treasure. The little diner must've been their kind of hunting ground. It was far enough from the town to keep the towns people away and was a great beacon for travelers with no attachments. The best bite to eat is the kind that no one would mourn over. It was the sad truth. They must've thought Alucard had found a runaway no one would notice missing.

"Do you mind letting us have a bite, dude?" the red head asked and Rachel gasped again, moving farther behind the red cloak that Alucard wore. Her hand unconsciously went to her own throat as she thought of the implication. They really were vampires!

His gloved hands were still at his sides and he looked to the young vampires much like they were simple pests. Finally reaching up, he took the yellow tinted glasses from the bridge of his nose and sighed softly.

"Sorry, youngsters, but the squirt is with me," he said simply, and she could hear the smirk on his lips. Rachel huffed at the 'squirt' statement, but shrugged it off, listening to the rebuttal.

"With you? Is she a pet? Do you plan on turning her or something?" the other asked, scoffing slightly. Alucard could tell these two were hungry and this looked like an easy score.

Turn her? Could Alucard make her like him? Well, that would be cool, but she was pretty sure she wasn't ready to die just yet. Maybe in a few years when she had seen all that she wanted as a human. Shaking her head, she dispelled all those thoughts. What was she thinking?!

"No, she happens to be my guide at the moment and I don't believe you two deserve such a feast at the moment. If you want food, go hunt for morsels yourself," the red-clad vampire said easily. Rachel could hear a growl.

"Who the hell do you think you are? Calling us young and daring to order us to find our own food. You are in our hunting territory! Give us the girl and we'll let you go without any scratches!" the fiery haired vampire snarled, taking a daring step forward. He didn't get very far before there was a rustle of a hand reaching inside a coat.

Rachel heard a clicking sound and she felt Alucard move. He had pulled his gun, but she had yet to look, keeping her back to his, just listening. She was still hiding behind his taller form, scared of what the other two would do is they caught her.

"I'll only say this once again. The girl is mine. Get lost," he said, the air around him cooling slightly. Even the hot and humid Missouri air was being washed away and Rachel felt goosebumps raise on her arms.

Miffed, but recognizing a strong weapon when they saw one, both turned tail and headed back towards the Waffle House. Rachel prayed that nice lady wasn't on the menu for those two.

"No, they wont attack anyone that works there. That diner needs a reputation to attract travelers," Alucard said, turning around and slipping the large silver gun back into his coat. Rachel caught a glimpse of the imposing weapon and raised a brow.

"A vampire with a gun? That's rather strange," she said and began walking again.

"A fifteen year old girl leading a vampire. I think I've beat the strange," the vampire smirked, looking down at the short girl.

They walked for a good hour or so before something occurred to Rachel. Looking to him, she scrutinized him for a moment. He had slipped the glasses back over his eyes and was walking calmly along side the girl. Rachel noted that he took shorter steps so she could keep up with him easier.

"Hey, did you mean it?" she asked him timidly.

"Did I mean what?" the dark-haired vampire queried.

"About how I'm with you?" the teen clarified.

"Of course," Alucard said, as if that was an obvious point between the, making her feel quite stupid for questioning it. When she frowned, actually not believing him for a moment. "Who else is going to get me across this crazy country and back to my master?"

"And then what? When I get you back," Rachel threw at him, almost paranoid sounding.

"I don't know," Alucard said genuinely, "Maybe you can find a good home in England or maybe Integra will even let you stay, though that's unlikely," he added with a chuckle. He just couldn't imagine the hot-headed Integra letting the fifteen year old stay in the Hellsing mansion. He grinned at the thought of aggravating the Hellsing heir. She was probably already pissed that he wasn't there.

"So then I'm more than just a blood bag. That's good to know," she muttered with a smirk and Alucard laughed heartily.


"I'm sorry, sir, but I am still unable to gain contact with master," Seras said apologetically, bowed exceptionally low tonight. Seras was trying to keep the mansion in regular order, but Integra herself looked slightly out of order, her hair disheveled and her glasses crooked. This woman was nearing her wits end.

"Oh, this is getting us nowhere. Walter!" Integra said, standing quickly, surprising Seras and nearly knocking her desk over all together.

"Yes, Sir Integra?" Walter asked, stepping into the dimly lit room, looking also rather distraught. The butler was not used to the unusual silence and lack of red in the house.

"Arrange a meeting with Maxwell and his stupid pet project!" the platinum blond ordered and the retainer was already gone. Integra sat back down and put her head in her hands, a headache beginning to form slowly.

"Don't worry, sir. We'll find him," Seras said. Her eyes looked to the window. 'We'll find you, master. Somewhere,' the blond vampire thought hopefully.


(1)- Of course! Yes, I've seen these. There are many just abandoned sheds and small shacks in the middle of fields. Yes, Alucard and Rachel sleep in the day time and travel by night.

Authoress: YAY!! (dodging things being thrown at her by reviewers) SORRY!

Alucard: Well, you deserve it! You kept them waiting!!

Zoe: Yeah, you're just lucky word isn't getting around that you are trying to get to your other stories. Wait until THOSE reviewers come after you!

Authoress: (gulp)

All: PLEASE REVIEW!