A/N - sometimes I make myself laugh. Not entirely canon but hopefully this makes you laugh too. :)

x

As was her norm, Sasha Cooper stood up the moment that Ensign Jeremy Wright walked into the wardroom, his inability to understand that she was permanently off the market a continual source of annoyance. Nodding to Azima Kandie, Kara Green, and Alisha Granderson, Sasha smiled. "So we're decided? We're watching When Harry Met Sally?"

"Definitely," Alisha respond. With the injured crew members and the seeds already back in the United States, having been put on a plane four days ago, there was very little for the crew to do during their trip across the Atlantic other than play cards and watch movies. After the fourth night in a row of watching Die Hard, Captain Slattery instituted a new system for selecting the evening's fare and it was the ladies' turn to pick.

Kara giggled. "You sure you can't join us tonight, Burk? I know how much you love that movie."

Giving a visible shudder at Kara's reminder of a date gone terribly, terribly wrong, Carlton Burk shook his head in the negative. "You ladies enjoy."

"Oh we will," Sasha replied, depositing her dishes on the ledge of the pass-through to the kitchen. "I'll see you at eighteen-hundred."

"No need for you to leave because of me, Commander," Wright interjected. "I know that our past relationship" - that drew an eye roll from half the table as said relationship was entirely in Wright's head - "makes things a little uncomfortable, but we are, after all, both adults. You shouldn't feel embarrassed by my presence. Especially as we have both moved on."

Her face neutral, Sasha began refilling her coffee. After all, she wasn't the one who decided singing You've Lost That Loving Feeling to an engaged woman at a bar was a good plan. "I'm glad to hear that, Ensign."

Alisha Granderson shot a look at Carl Nishioka, wondering what the deal was. After mooning over Sasha for the past eighteen months, they were supposed to believe that Wright was simply over it? Carl quickly lifted a cup, hiding his mouth as he shook his head slightly at Alisha. She frowned, planning to investigate further as soon as she got the petty officer alone, a plan which instantly became unnecessary.

Sliding into the empty seat next to Azima, Wright leaned so close that Azima bumped him while lifting her fork to her mouth. Wright closed his eyes, sighing blissfully. "So that's what it feels like to be touched by an angel. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"

Azima continued eating her fish and chips, heavy on the fish and light on everything else as the North Atlantic's halibut population was one of the few not yet impacted by the red rust, as though Wright weren't sitting almost in her lap. Finally she swallowed, patting her mouth with her napkin, before replying. "Since angels can fly, it seems unlikely that landing would cause injury."

A look of confusion - and possibly annoyance - passed over Wright's face, but he quickly recovered. "I understand this will be your first time in the United States, Sergeant Kandie. I'd be happy to show you around. On a scale of one to America how free are you?"

Burk sat straight up, his mouth opening, presumably planning to shut Wright down before he could make anyone uncomfortable (or humiliate himself further), but Alisha beat him to it. "North Korea," Alisha replied coolly. "Or have you forgotten about the fraternity rules, Ensign?"

"I received permission to speak to Azima directly from Captain Slattery," Wright said smugly. "It's not like he could say much after allowing the Greens on board together. As long as we wait until we're on shore, he's happy to transfer me if the need arises."

"No shit," Kara said under her breath, saying out-loud what everyone was thinking. Getting Wright off the ship was well worth relaxing the rules a little. Besides, Mike no doubt got a kick out of the ridiculousness of the request.

Still wearing that self-congratulatory smirk, Wright turned his attention back to Azima. "So what do you say? After all, I am Mr. Wright. What more could you want?"

Carlton elbowed Wolf Taylor, who was sitting next to him. "You going to do anything?"

Wolf barely looked up from his plate. "And miss the show? Hell no."

Turning to the man beside her, Azima raised an eyebrow. "Won't you have other people to see once we dock?"

"Nope. I might as well call you 'Google' because you have everything I'm searching for," Wright replied with his most charming smile. "Besides, my parents always told me to follow my dreams."

That was more than Nishioka could take, quickly scuttling out of the room, excusing himself on the grounds of his "cough." Kara looked like she might need to do the same, literally shaking from the effort of keeping her laughter bottled up.

"What would you suggest that we do?" Azima asked, head cocking to the side.

"Well," Wright leaned closer, although his voice was still audible to the entire room. "It just so happens that I have two tickets to paradise. Interested?"

Leaning forward until their heads were only inches apart, Azima patted Wright's cheek hard enough to make him wince.

"Not if one of them is yours."