Living Out in the Snow
"Hey honey," he calls down to the other end of the aisle, and Kate turns back around to face him. She went to go and find cereal while he browsed other breakfast things, ruminating over whether to get cinnamon bagels or the ordinary ones.
He went with both, and their cart is starting to get a bit ridiculous, but they're on vacation. Kate is this smiling, happy creature who haunts his side like a cheery spirit as they work their way through the store. Not once has she covered his hand in hers before he can add something to the cart and given him that look.
These days they've got something of a routine going. He's normally the one who does the grocery shopping, taking a photograph of the whiteboard tacked to the side of the fridge and consulting their list as he works his way around the store. He's the one who's got the time, but sometimes on Saturdays they'll make a special trip together and it becomes something wonderful.
Normally Kate will take the list and make her methodical way through the store to collect the ingredients they'll need for their dinners. Castle gets to browse and pick up everything else, snacks and new products he wants to try. They meet up at the end to compare, and he usually earns himself an eye roll for the amount of junk food he's picked up.
Today though, he pushes the cart and Kate sticks close, a hand curled around his bicep. Her cheek comes to rest against his whenever they stop in front of the shelves. She's in charge of the list, directing them on the most effective route around the store, and he's quite content to push the cart and brush his lips to the crown of her head whenever he gets the chance.
They move over onto the aisle with the fresh produce and Kate takes a few steps away from him, the paper with the list on it clutched in two fingers as she browses. She tilts her head at him and he pushes the cart closer to her side, picks up a bag of apples and some bananas.
He loves junk, but he's a dad and a husband and he has a deep, visceral respect for the importance of eating healthily. Kate's got her arms full of vegetables for the various meals they've planned and he smiles to see it, hurrying to help before she drops everything to the linoleum.
"Okay," she says as she adds a bag of carrots to their cart. "I think that's it. Was there anything else you wanted to get?"
He takes a second to scan their groceries, making sure that they've got things like ice cream and chips. Things that Kate pretends to be scornful of, but she always gets so grouchy when they don't have them. Satisfied, he peels one hand away from the cart and winds his arm around Kate's waist, hooking his fingers in her coat on the opposite side.
"I'm good with this. Do we need anything like soap or cleaning stuff?"
"Nope," she says. Kate untangles herself from around his arm and folds the list, tucks it into the back pocket of her pants. "My dad has the place well stocked with all that stuff. We just needed food."
He reaches for her hand, their palms clasped and his fingers curled around hers as they head for the cash register. There are only a couple of other people in the entire grocery store and Castle finds it a little creepy, keeps turning over his shoulder to check that they're not advancing on him.
Just before they make it to the register, a display of fireworks catches his attention and he tugs on Kate's hand to bring her to a stop. His other forearm is resting against the bar of the cart to help steer it and he leans over, the press of plastic against the soft place beneath his ribs making him huff a breath.
"Kate. Look."
"Babe, we can't do fireworks," she says gently, laying a palm against his back. He steps away from the cart, and catches her fingers so that she won't think he's trying to shrug her off. Moving closer, he peers at the display. "We'd end up setting the whole forest on fire. Too dangerous."
He nods, but he reaches for a packet and tugs it free from the little rail to show to her. "I know. No fireworks. But we could do sparklers, right? On New Year's."
"We can," she laughs. She takes the package of twelve sparklers from him and adds it to their cart. "I love these. My mom, my dad and I always had contests to see who could write their name the quickest."
"Alexis and I do that too," he smiles. Reaching for her again, he draws her in close. A kiss to her cheek, and he stays a moment to breathe in the smell of her. Already she's drenched in clean mountain air and he sucks a breath through his nose that makes her laugh, her elbow nudging at him.
He lets her take the cart then, follows along behind her as she heads back towards the cash registers. Castle watches carefully, but there's no blip of recognition on the face of Kate or the kid serving them, so he assumes the gangly teen is one of the only people in town that Beckett doesn't know.
Kate has a strict system about unloading things onto the conveyer belt and then packing them again at the other end, but he's done this with her enough times that he can help without incurring that little twitch of her eyebrow, the prickling stare.
After everything is packed up neatly in the sturdier, reusable grocery bags that Kate found in the glove compartment of the car, Castle passes his card over to the cashier and signs when he's asked to. Tucking his wallet back into the pocket of his jeans, he wishes the cashier a good afternoon and scampers to catch up with his wife as she heads away from the register.
He remembers that first time they came here, how he found himself constantly jabbering away. Silence terrified him back then, but now it's easy. He helps Kate load their bags into the trunk of the car, rubbing the palms of his hands together to work some feeling back into them.
"Hey," she says after she slams the trunk closed. Her hands are tucked into her coat pockets, shoulders up next to her ears to protect the exposed skin from the frigid mountain air. "Wanna grab a hot chocolate to go from Joe's?"
"Oh, yes please," he grins. Castle snags one of her hands from the pocket of her camel coat. He tucks her fingers in close against his palm, squeezing them in his and wishing he had a coat himself instead of just the thick bulk of his sweater.
They head across to the other side of the parking lot and enter the diner. It's deliciously warm inside and Castle wiggles like a snug grub. Joe is at the counter chatting to a man Castle doesn't recognise, but when he sees them come inside he tosses the dishcloth in his hands into the air and lets it fall back to the countertop, hurrying around to greet them.
"Katie Beckett, my goodness me, look at you," Joe says. He's got a hand at each of Kate's shoulders to hold her at arm's length and take her in. She laughs, dipping her chin, and her eyes dart to the side as if she's making sure that Castle hasn't left.
He's still got her hand in his and he squeezes, feels his whole face transforming with pride. His lovely wife, and every head in the diner is swivelling to see her. Joe is beaming and he hauls Kate into a hug so that Castle has to let her hand go. Her arms wind around her friend and she smiles at Castle from over Joe's shoulder.
"Now," Joe says when he lets her go again, an exaggerated frown creasing his forehead until two parallel lines spring into existence between his brows. "I have a bone to pick with you two. The last time you were here you promised that you'd be back soon, and it's been two and a half years Katie."
"I know," Kate says. She enfolds one of Joe's hands in both of hers and giving him her very best placating look. "A lot has happened since we were here last."
That makes Joe snort on a laugh and flip his hand under Kate's, inspecting her left. "Tell me about it. I can't believe you got married. Little Katie, all grown up."
"Sorry we couldn't invite you to the wedding," Castle says. His wife takes a step closer to him and he winds an arm around her shoulders. Usually she's not a fan of him hanging all over her when they're with other people, but today it's cold and they're both still brimming with the magic of the season and she only smiles, laying her cheek against his chest. "In the end it ended up only being my mother, my daughter and Kate's dad."
"Lovely," Joe says, smiling at them again. "Nice and intimate. That's perfect for you Katie. From what Jim's told me, Rick himself is pretty perfect for you."
He feels his chest puffing up, but there's nothing at all he can do to stop it, or the spread of his smile. "Kate's father talks about me?"
"Oh yes, Jim's always telling us about the two of you. Going on and on about his Katie never being happier, about how proud he is to have you for a son-in-law, Rick."
"Wow," he breathes, clutching at Kate so that he can stay standing. He knows that Mr Beckett doesn't hate him, that he thinks he and Kate are a good match, but to hear that Kate's father is proud of him makes him feel like a little kid.
Kate's fingers drum a merry pattern against his thigh and she turns her head to look at him, her smile trapped in the very corners of her mouth. "Babe, come on. You know my dad loves you."
"Right," he gruffs out, has to cough, and then Kate and Joe are both laughing at him. It does shake him out of his awe a little bit though and he manages a smile, cards a hand through his hair.
"Can I get you two something to eat?" Joe offers, already reaching behind himself for a couple of laminated menus.
He holds them out and Castle takes one, but Kate shoots him a look and he passes it dutifully back over to Joe. Kate's still got one hand against his thigh and she brings it up now, tucks it between Castle's arm and his body.
"We've got groceries in the car," Kate says in apology, flexing and curling the fingers of her free hand to get the feeling back. The tip of her nose is pink, her eyes bright and a little watery from the wind, and she sniffs. "We just came in for some hot chocolate to go, warm us up a bit."
"Molly," Joe calls out to one of the waitresses. She comes over to them, running a hand over the neat blonde length of her French braid. "Could you do two hot chocolates to go, with all the trimmings. On the house, doll."
The waitress - she must be only a few years younger than Alexis - nods at Joe and darts off behind the counter to fix their drinks for them. Joe tugs on Kate's elbow to have her sit at one of the barstools. Castle follows, staying on his feet and propping a hand against the back of Beckett's chair so that his wife can lean against his arm.
"Katie doll, your dad told me all about the wedding. Showed me the pictures. You looked just beautiful. Johanna would have been so proud."
"Thank you Joe," Kate says, turning to look at Castle again. He kisses her, can't help himself. Every time somebody mentions their wedding he remembers all over again how perfect she looked in that amazing outfit, how they danced together as the sun sank into the ocean.
He doesn't linger in their kiss, not in front of her friend. Instead Castle wraps both arms around her and covers her hands in his, a little concerned about the blueish tinge to her slender fingers. "She looked stunning, didn't she?"
"Stop," she huffs, knocking her temple against his cheek. He laughs and lets her wriggle her way out of his embrace.
The waitress sets two travel cups on the counter and Castle reaches into his pocket for his wallet only to come up against Joe's wave of dismissal. "No, no, they're on me."
"You have to let us pay sometimes," Kate says, reaching for sternness and falling just short. She wraps both hands around her cup and lifts it, propping her chin on top of the plastic lid to let the warmth seep over the bones of her skull. Next time they leave the house, he's making her wear a hat.
"Think of it as a belated wedding present, then," Joe says, his eyes creased with amusement. His face is lined and sun-spotted, his hair a shock of white that's still impressively thick, but there's no frailty to him. "You guys should get going, don't want your groceries to go bad."
They say their goodbyes, promise to drop in again before they head back to the city. Castle drums his fingertips against the sleeve of his cardboard cup as they head back across the parking lot. "The car's probably about as cold as a freezer, you know."
"I know," Kate laughs, juggling her hot chocolate and the keys until she gets the car unlocked. "Which is why you're driving. I can't feel my fingers."
He takes the keys from her and slips into the driver's seat, cranking up the heat as high as it'll go. Kate adjusts the vents until they blow against her fingers and she splays them, her belt already fastened. Castle gives them a minute to let the car get warm and then he clicks his own seatbelt into the fastener and starts the engine. He's driven this route a couple of times now, and he's fairly confident he knows what he's doing, but he darts a glance to Kate as he pulls out of the parking lot just to be sure.
The town melts away into forest, the occasional driveway coming up like a gaping mouth, and he's happy to let them be silent for a little while. Christmas was tough this year; it was only a few days before that he was unceremoniously kicked out of the precinct, landing hard on his ass in the gutter.
They'd both been too cheerful, fighting too hard to shake off their melancholia, and he hopes that these few days at the cabin can be a chance for them both to come to terms with the fact that when Kate goes back to work on January fifth, he won't be going with her.
He has some things in the pipeline, an idea he's keeping tucked away to let it gestate, but there's nothing concrete except the fact that whatever happens, he'll be missing her.
When he darts a glance at Kate she has one hand pulled up and fisted against her chin. It makes her bottom lip jut out in a cute little pout as she stares out of the window, but he's not looking for either of them to spend their New Year's grumpy and miserable.
"You know I love you," he starts, and Kate shifts in her seat to face him, arches a brow. "So I understand how easy it is to be completely smitten with you. But Kate, everyone here adores you. Everyone. It's kind of amazing."
"They watched me grow up," she says. Kate takes a sip of her hot chocolate; the colour is coming back into her face now and she's less hunched, her body almost sprawling in the seat. "They've known me for such a long time. And I guess when my mom died, they all kind of wanted to try and take care of me."
He nods at that, doesn't push her to elaborate any more. Kate is his wife now, and although he does sometimes still have to nudge at her she mostly shares what's in her heart without much prompting these days.
When they make it back to the cabin they unload the groceries together, Kate taking charge of everything that goes in the fridge while Castle handles the cabinets. He loves that feeling of tugging open the door to see the shelves spilling over with food, and once they're done he captures Kate in a hug.
"Hungry for dinner yet?"
"Mm, no, not yet," she says, tugging back enough to see his face. One hand comes up, her fingers nibbled with frost from the freezer and making him yelp when she touches his cheek. She only laughs and comes in to kiss him, tugging on his ear to have him bend over her. "Hungry for you."
He opens his mouth against the spot high up in her jaw that makes her cant into him and Kate gasps, both hands fisting in his sweater. Head tilted, her eyes flutter closed and she purrs at the work of his tongue, a little graze of his teeth making her shudder.
"Let's go christen our new bed," he growls, palms at her ass and his fingers kneading at the meat of her butt. She does a little hop to warn him and then she jumps, legs around his waist and her arms draped loose and lazy around his neck.
He takes an experimental step backwards and then, confident he's not about to lose his balance and send them both to the floor, he strides for their bedroom and those amazing, cosy sheets.
"I don't think I want to get up," Kate says. Beside him in bed, she rolls onto her back and drapes an arm over her face, hiding her eyes. "Maybe ever again. This bed is amazing."
Castle rolls to one side and lifts himself up on one elbow, chin propped in the cup of his palm. He traces a line down from the hollow of Kate's throat all the way to where milky skin disappears beneath their sheets, dipping into her belly button as he bisects her abdomen. It makes her sigh and she drops her arm, rests it behind her head instead.
Her other hand lands at her stomach and she rubs her thumb against her wedding band as if to warm the metal. She's wearing the engagement ring too, has been for their entire Christmas break, and it makes him smile and snag her fingers in his. Bringing them to his mouth, Castle kisses her knuckle and then lets her have her hand back.
"Your dad chose well," Castle says, splaying a hand over Kate's ribcage. She's so slender, a sleek and liquid curve, and the span of his fingers reaches almost from clavicle to hip. "Although I'm not sure I want to tell him that. The less talking to your father about the bed you and I share, the better."
She snorts on a laugh and snags his hand in hers, bringing it up to her lips so that she can touch them to his palm. Kate folds his fingers closed over her kiss and rests his hand back against his own chest, leaves hers on top. Her thumb skims back and forth over his knuckles.
"Babe, you're my husband. I think my dad's aware that we're having sex."
"Yes," he grunts, wiggling his toes to siphon off some of the joy before he explodes with it. It makes the sheets billow, lets cold air come roaring in to their nest and Kate scowls at him, kicking at his feet to make him stop moving. "But trust me, as a father to a daughter, it's better to try and live in blissful ignorance."
"Alexis is having sex?" Kate blurts out, fumbling half upright in their bed. She lands against the headboard, looking a little beached, and he yanks on her to get her back underneath the comforter again.
"I- maybe?" he starts, scrunching up one side of his face in not-entirely-false horror. "I mean, she lived with Pi. And I don't know if she- do you think she would tell me? If she was."
Laying a hand against his chest, Kate lets her fingertips flirt with the dip between his collar bones and she tilts her head to regard him. "I really don't know. I mean, I didn't tell my dad when I started having sex. But then I'm not as close with him as you and Alexis are. Who else would she go to about it? Your mom?"
"God I hope not," he grumps, scrubbing a hand over his face and collapsing flat to the mattress. He doesn't exactly mind if Alexis is having sex; she's smart, and she's a grown woman and he trusts her. Only, she's still his baby girl and he really, really doesn't want to think about it. "I'm hopeful that she'd go to you."
"I can talk to her if you want?" Kate suggests. "Just tell her that I'm here if she has any questions that she doesn't want to ask you."
His heart squeezes tight in his chest and he snakes a palm around to cup the back of her neck, draws her down into his kiss.
When they break apart Kate grins at him, that wide and so pleased curve to her lips, and she tugs the sheets up over her breasts. One hand fists in the top of the comforter to tuck it underneath her chin and suddenly she's a girl again, peering at him as she doses. "My dad keeps dropping these not-so-subtle hints about grandkids. I think he'd be delighted to know how much sex we're having."
"Still," he says. He burrows down under the covers and shifts across the mattress until he can feel the warmth of Kate's skin. "If I'm ever going to look him in the eye again then it's best to avoid that conversation."
Two fingers come to his shoulder and she pushes on him until he rolls onto his back, his head falling into the gap between the pillows on either side. He huffs and shifts over, makes himself comfortable on his own side of the bed, and Kate drapes herself on top of him, one leg hooked over his.
She shivers, and he tugs the sheets up a little higher, his arm around her and his fingertips tracing up and down the length of her upper arm. "Are you cold?"
"Yeah," she admits, her hand preemptively at his stomach to stop him from moving away from her. "It's fine though. Once we get the fire going again and then the space heater in here for tonight, we'll be nice and toasty."
"And clothes," he teases, earning himself the dart of her tongue against his nipple and the slow rake of her toes up the length of his shin.
It's good like this; he's not really cold at all with her draped all over him, and he could happily stay here for the rest of the day. She shivers again though, the cold tip of her nose pressed against his throat and he sits up.
"Come on. Let's get you warm."
He climbs out of bed and heads for his drawer in the dresser, pulling on his pajamas. It's only four in the afternoon, but he's not planning on going anywhere else today. Kate comes to his side at the armoire, her body rattling with the cold press of the air in the room, and he steps out of the way to let her find her own pajamas.
She's got thick woollen socks too and she tugs them on, grabs his sweater from the floor and pulls that on over her head as well. Snagging two fingers in the waistband of her plaid pants, Castle reels her back in close and winds his arms around her, tucking her underneath his chin.
Like this, all padded in hundreds of layers, she's utterly adorable. He kisses the top of her head, and then her forehead when she tips her chin up to see him. Kate's been a snuggler pretty much since they got together, but in the handful of weeks that they've been married she's sought him out constantly, curling up with him whenever she has the chance.
"Okay," he says, a hand at the back of her neck and squeezing as if to propel her into action. "Plan for this evening. You go get the fire going again, and I'm going to build us a nest on the couch. Then we'll cook dinner, and watch a movie while we eat. Sound good?"
"Sounds great."
