Secret Soy Guy: alrighty. Wow...I typed my whole name...incorrectly I might add. Oh well. Here's the next part. I'm not going to reply to your reviews this time, cause they're backed up again, and you won't get them. Thanks for reading, and straying life was very helpful. Thanks.
Discalimer: I don't own Danny Phantom...or ginger bread men...but you don't need to know about that.
Ame
November 13th, 2011
It rained today…I could hear it pelting on the roof of this place. Phantom was quiet for the most part, but sometimes…I could hear him laughing. I knew why he was.
It was raining when he possessed me.
The rain had started suddenly that day, covering everything. Sam and I…we were running side by side, trying to get home. Sam was so beautiful. I loved her a lot.
It was then that I decided to run ahead, and play a trick on her. I turned a corner, dodging into an alley. I didn't expect anyone to be there. I remember leaning against a brick wall, listening to the rain, waiting for Sam to catch up. Next thing I heard was a hiss. When I looked over, a figure was crouched on the ground. It turned its red eyes to me, holding a wound in its side, mumbling darkly. I didn't move. I had heard about rouge spirits attacking people…stealing their souls.
I was scared.
Sirens cut through the monotonous tone of the rain, and the creature looked to the sky…then back to me.
Something told me I should run. This was only fueled further by the hungry look the creature gave me.
"Hey master." He whined. "I just need a place to hide…"
I began backing up, shaking my head.
"I just need your body for a little while…Master? I'll give it back."
I ran…
"Master!"
Phantom chased me down the street, quickly catching up. Everything gets fuzzy after that. I can see Phantom leaping at me…I can hear the rain...
Sometimes if I think hard enough, I can see my hands glowing red. I can see Sam running for me…
But that's all I can see…
I hate the rain…
Negai
December 5thth, 2011
I want Phantom to go away. But he won't. I wish it more than anything. I can't stand him anymore. He never leaves me alone. I try to be strong for my mother, but it's not working. I haven't slept in weeks. Every time I shut my eyes, there he is, covered in blood. He has this place he calls his room. The walls are bright white, and tall. I can never see the ceiling. I've never seen the door either, but every time Phantom drags another body inside from somewhere, digging a hole in their back with his claws.
I hate watching.
"Come on master…" He smiles, plunging his hand into the gash. "Come paint with me. We can do it together. Feeling of one and all that…"
I stand still.
Phantom usually laughs cruelly, running his finger across the white wall. The red stands out like a beacon.
"Painting's fun. Try it. If you like it. We can paint some more Master." He sneers. "There are lots of places to paint. We can paint the walls of the facility if you like. And when we're done, you can go home."
Home…
I shake my head, pressing myself against the cold wall.
I didn't want to get home that way. I wasn't going to give in.
"You're no fun." He frowns, taking my hand with his bloody one. I hate the warm sticky feeling of it. It makes me feel dirty.
I try my best to pull way, but he's too strong. It have to stand by and watch as he runs my red coated fingers over the wall. Every night the image is different. Last night I found myself staring at a morbid depiction of the eagle puzzle.
"Just like your room, right?" Phantom laughed. "You can stay here…I'll get you home. All you have to do is let me out."
I shook my head, staring in disbelief.
I hated him. I hated him so much.
"I can give you freedom, master." Phantom growled, his eyes glowing brightly. "You just have to give me mine."
"No…" I whimpered.
That's when I woke up. Now I'm laying in my bed, trying to force his voice out. He's angry and tired of me. He wants his freedom, and he wants it now. The doctor said that they'll do the tests tomorrow. I don't think I can stand staying up another night. I constantly feel disorientated. I'm scared that I'm so tired, I'll let Phantom out. I can't let him out. My mother's counting on me. We have to find the "feeling of one". Somehow or other there's got to be a way for us to live in peace. For Phantom to have his way, and for me to have mine…
But that won't work. All phantom cares about is death and destruction. I want people to stay alive. I want to help them. We're too different. The doctor says I can reach it.
She wants me to reach it so bad.
I do too, but I don't know how. I wish someone would tell me. No one tells me anything anymore.
I hate it.
Maybe they're afraid of talking around Phantom. They know he's there. Of course he's there. I can hear him even now. He won't shut up. He won't go away. He keeps begging me to let him out.
When will he understand that I won't?
I hate how he's started talking about the feeling of one. He has a twisted idea of what it means. Him giving me what I want through destruction. But I guess that my idea isn't fair to him either. I want to be the dominate one. I believe I should be. He believes he should be. If we keep thinking that, we will never reach the feeling of one.
I just wish they would kill him.
They say they can't. They say that it will permanently damage my body, making it almost useless to me.
I don't care. I'd rather lay in a bed my whole life than have to listen to Phantom.
I wish they would listen…
But they won't, so here I am in the darkness, struggling to keep my eyes open.
It's not working…
Hirari.
December 7th 2011
Everything's been quiet. I feel well rested again. My thinking has begun to clear, and I'm functioning much better. I told the doctor about what I thought of Hitostu no kimochi. My side and Phantom's. I really don't; think it can ever work, but she's determined it will.
I hope she's right.
As if to prove her point, she took me to the room with the window, and told me to talk to Phantom. She asked me to be kind to him.
She said that maybe my positive influence will rub off on Phantom..
I don't think it worked.
I wrote to my mother today. I complimented her on the beauty the sunflower had. I couldn't remember her ever having a garden before. She must have gotten one to help cope with losing me. I told her that they'll grow even better now that she was happy. I asked her for another one, for during my time of sleeplessness, I let the other one wither and die.
The doctor came and took it, promising a reply tomorrow. I part of my mind wondered how she could promise such a thing…but I pushed it aside.
The sunflower wasn't the only thing I told my mother. I also told her about the dreams I have been having. I needed her words to comfort me. I told her my feelings about hitotsu no kimochi, and asked her what I should do.
I needed her opinion.
I needed her.
But they they wouldn't let me have her...
