I don't own TMNT


Raph slammed his eyes shut as his knees sunk into the grass. He reached out blindly, letting his hands rest against the gray stone. He could hear the crickets surrounding him in the cool damp night but the soft tunes did nothing to quiet the screams that continued to echo in his head. He forced his eyes open but could only stare at the ground below, not the name on the headstone. The world seemed to be just the small moment over and over again. A light touch on his shoulder made Raph jump slightly and glance behind him.

"What the shell do ya want?" Raph asked with a sneer.

The other being made no reply, only moved to the side and raised a hand to lay next to Raph's on the stone.

"Would ya get lost already!?" Raph asked, "I don't need your help!"

The other still didn't respond. Silence overshadowed the scene and neither turtle spoke. Raph tightened his hand that rested on the headstone into a fist and growled.

"LEO JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" he yelled, his head snapping up to glare at his older brother.

Leo met his eyes and held his gaze. Those orbs held no anger, only worry. Raph's own held grief and anger, but not normal anger, the degree of emotion was building. It showed as self-hate. The hot headed turtle was about to snap again when the elder leaned forward and nuzzled his temple with his beak. Raph let a small whimper escape his throat as his hand fell away from the stone and landed on the ground beside him, the dew from the grass falling onto his green skin. Leo reached up and pulled Raph close, resting his head against his shoulder. One hand massaging Raph's shoulder while the other ran gently up and down his plastron.

A choked sob escaped the younger's throat and he turned to press his face into Leo's neck while mumbling, "Shell, how do you always know?"

Leo smiled slightly and moved his hand up to trace empty patterns around Raph's heart.

"You're my little brother," Leo said so quietly and so certainly that there really wasn't another possible answer on earth or beyond it.

"I-I should've gotten there in time," Raph mumbled as sobs violently shook his frame.

"Come on, let's get you home," Leo said, scooping his younger brother into his arms.

The red banded turtle didn't fight, only relaxed as he was cradled. He couldn't really ever remember his older brother acting as such but right now he didn't care. He shivered slightly and snuggled closer to the blue banded turtle, relaxing as he found warmth and comfort from his older brother. He allowed his eyes to drift shut and his mind to slip off into unconsciousness.

Behind them sat the headstone:

Casey Jones


Raph sat up with gasp, gazing around his room fiercely. He slipped out of his hammock and darted out of his room. He glanced across the second floor of their home and found each room was dark. The turtle quietly padded to the middle room and took a deep breath before stepping through the large doorway. He narrowed his eyes as he stared into the darkness and saw the outline of his three brothers. Raph felt his eyes slightly tear over as watched how, even in their dreams, his younger brothers snuggled into the eldest. Leo had Mikey to his left and Donny to his right and he had an arm wrapped around each of them.

The hotheaded turtle narrowed his eyes, in envy this time and scowled. It was no fair! His loss was just as hard as the others'. Yeah, he had had more time than they had but he was hurting too! He needed a big brother too! He couldn't bring himself to blame his little brothers though. The sudden deaths of Leatherhead, April, Angel and Klunk had left the purple and orange banded turtles in depression. They, of course, stole Leo for support. Raph growled once he was outside the room and continued glaring into the surrounding darkness.

"What are you doing out here?"

Raph jumped and turned quickly, reaching for his sais, which weren't tucked into his belt. He calmed down a bit once he realized it was just Leo in the doorway behind him. Then the younger turtle became confused as he gazed into the room and saw his younger brothers in the same position they had been in. Raph sighed, once again Leo proved to be the perfect ninja.

"I just, couldn't sleep," Raph said quickly, turning his eyes away from his older brother's gaze.

Leo tilted his head slightly and then stepped forward to lay a hand on Raph's shoulder, "I'm here whenever you need me bro."

Raph mentally cursed. Leo was being a perfect big brother again, "You make me feel like a jerk."

"What?" Leo asked, where had THAT come from.

"I yell and scream at you all the time and you never scream back anymore," Raph said in a loud voice that caused his little brothers to stir slightly before lapping back into their dreams.

Leo glanced back at his two youngest brothers to ensure they were ok and then switched his full attention to his immediate younger brother.

"I can tell you're hurting Raphael," Leo said, "Time may heal all wounds, but wounds leave scars."

Raph rolled his eyes in the darkness, thankful that Leo couldn't see the movement, or maybe he did and just didn't say anything. Leo sighed and let his hand that was laying on Raph's shoulder drop and latch onto his arm.

"What?" Raph asked.

Leo smiled and felt for the edge of the second floor where he sat down and pulled his little brother down as well. Raph sat next to his older brother without argument and wasn't really surprised when an arm encircled his shoulders. He moved closer to Leo and let his head fall onto his shoulder while he took deep calming breaths. The red banded turtle didn't notice the tears falling from his eyes or when the arm around his shoulders vanished. He heard loud mumbling from Leo and Don's room. Then, Leo's voice carried out of the room.

"Shh, Mikey I'm right here," Leo whispered.

Raph sniffed and wiped angrily at his eyes and nose. He hated crying but it had become so much easier to let out emotions. It meant Leo would come to him. Suddenly, he heard the sound of cardboard hitting the stone floor beside him. A soft tissue was placed into his hand. Raph wiped at his eyes angrily still, knowing they wouldn't stop, at least not yet.

"Mikey ok?" Raph croaked.

"He's fine," Leo spoke softly, "He just had a nightmare."

"Donny ok?" Raph asked failing to hold back a slight whimper.

"Yes, Don's fine, doing a lot better actually."

"It's easier for ya? Ain't it? You didn't get as close as we did so it hurts less?"

"That's true," Leo said although he had never really thought about it that way.

Of all their human friends, Raphael was closer to Casey and Angel, Don was closer to April and Leatherhead and Mikey was close to well, a lot of people actually. The youngest was just like that, automatically making friends everywhere. The blue banded turtle considered the only actual human he was close to was the Ancient One while his closest friends lived in another dimension entirely.

Leo sighed and sat down behind Raph, pulling the red banded turtle back until his head rested against Leo's shoulder. His eyes were closed and the tears were obvious, there was a small amount of light pollution from Don's inventions that made up most of the blue and purple masked turtles' room that allowed Leo to see the shine of the silver streaks running down his little brother's face. The elder tilted his head forward and nuzzled Raph's temple, as he had many times in the past two months.

The younger turtle breathed out in a sort of half sigh and half sob sound and almost laughed, "You always know."

"Come on, no need to stay out here all night. Join us?"

Raph sat up strait and shrugged indifferently, as if he didn't care. Both turtles knew it was the furthest thing from the truth though. Leo smiled softly and helped the red banded turtle to his feet before turning towards the bedroom where the whimpering of the two youngest turtles spoke of the nightmares they were having. They awoke at the sound of approaching foot steps and sat up.

"Leo?" Mikey mumbled.

"Raph?" Don asked in bewilderment.

The genius turtle had thought that his immediate older brother had healed from the trauma of losing his best friend months before. Apparently, that wasn't the case. Leo motioned for them to get up from the bed and they complied. Leo leaned against the wall on the side of his bed and swept the blankets aside. He motioned for the others to join him. Mikey was the first to latch onto him and snuggled into his right shoulder. Don mimicked the movement, claiming Leo's left shoulder as his own pillow for the night. Raph simply perched on the other edge of the bed and remained still. Leo let out a silent sigh and then reached out to pull his immediate younger brother to him. Raph gasped as he felt his shell hit Leo's plastron. He tried to pull away at first but Leo forced his head under his chin.

Raph gave up right there, he needed this. Leo shifted a small measure and wrapped an arm around each of his youngest brothers while he bent his head to tenderly nudge Raph's temple. The move had become one of two that made him calm down. The eldest reached, having to stretch to grab onto the blanket on his bed. He quickly but carefully tucked it around all of them before closing his eyes and giving into unconsciousness as well, joining his brothers in their dreams.

The End…………


Whew, finally done!

YAY!

A review here? There? Anywhere?

~Moonsetta