Again, thank you to all my reviewers. I decided to focus back on Leena and her family - hope you'll like it.
III. Aftermath
The first weeks after coming back from the Temple were tempestuous at best.
As soon as she came home, Leena moved her things into the guest room, locked herself in and barely came out for a week.
She lay on the bed and cried for days, cried until she run out of tears.
In the last days, members of the family took it upon themselves to talk to her through the door – after the vase accident at the Hospital, it was deemed safer than trying the few times she left the room to use the freshner or eat.
One by one, they reminded her of all the good reasons why they had to give up Ben. Inside, Leena covered her ears with a pillow and hid her head under the blankets.
It wasn't that she didn't want to hear it as much as she needn't hear it. She knew them all already.
Her father-in-law reminded her that at the Temple her child would fulfill his destiny.
Ypa, her sister, said that if he wasn't trained, he could have become dangerous.
Euan underlined the fact that, among his peers, he would be more at ease than he could ever be among regular people. That if they had kept him, sooner or later it would have come the day when they wouldn't know how to deal with him anymore.
(Luckily, the other reason why Force-sensitive babies were given up – i.e. popular belief stated that they brought bad luck on their own families since most of them ended up orphaned anyway – had never been an issue. Euan himself not only threw out a costumer for saying that, but also let her know she wasn't welcome in their shop anymore. And Leena wasn't even present to the exchange.)
She knew it. She knew all of it.
But all the good reasons of the galaxy could not stop the throbbing pain in her heart.
Eventually, when she could take a breath without feeling ripped apart all over again, she came out.
Around the same time, Ben ceased to be mentioned in the family.
Leena, of course, noticed it but didn't say anything. They thought they were doing it for her sake and she didn't want to talk about Ben with them anyway. What could they say, when she had been the one to spend most of her time with him "against all common sense," as they had put it?
She had her memories of Ben – memories she would never share.
As suddenly as she had closed herself off, she forced herself back into normal life. Everybody – except Euan, thankfully – passed on their congratulations for her recovery and advised her to leave it all behind.
Leena curved her lips and thanked them, but the smile never reached her eyes.
When Ypa went to see her for a little heart-to-heart between sister and told her to forget about him, Leena said nothing.
And when her father-in-law remarked there would be other children, she told him not to count on it. It would be years before Leena could think of having children without feeling a hypocrite and a traitor.
This haste to forget bothered her. She didn't want to forget Ben.
Leena would not cling to her misery – no one relished in sorrow, after all, and it was not her way. The gash would stop bleeding and close, eventually. But the scar would be there forever, from time to time aching or tingling.
Some told her she shouldn't punish herself, but Leena never saw it as a punishment. She just didn't want to forget Ben. It was the least she could and would do.
Against all expectations, she didn't hate the Jedis or the Temple. It was as if part of the love she felt for her baby had been transferred to the place he was staying and the people he lived with.
Hours stretched into days, day into weeks and months.
One day, Leena began to sing as she went about the house. Down in the shop, Euan heard her and smiled to himself – even though there was a hint of sadness in his eyes.
He never said it, but he had guessed there was a song his beloved would not sing anymore, not out loud. It would not echo around the rooms again.
Still, as time went by, sometimes Leena would move a chair near the window and look outside as the light changed and faded. In the growing dusk, she would sing quietly to herself.
"Merrily, cheerily, noiselessly whirring
Swings the wheel, spins the wheel while the foot's stirring
Sprightly and lightly and merrily ringing
Trills the voice of the young maiden singing …"
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