iii. tidal waves
—
For all intents and purposes, my communication skills, when compared to others my age, were rather lacking. As a child my preference for solitude often led me to wonder if I had actually been adopted, because my family were all extroverted people who had no issue with socializing. I had always found it easier to observe and analyze others rather than engage with them. Conversations never came easy, nor did people. I was already aware of the type of person I was at a young age and comfortably settled into it.
Because of this, in some ways I envied my classmates. People like Uraraka saw the glass half full, and thus never worried about things like first impressions or appearing a certain way to others. She was unapologetically her, never having to put up a front to please the people around her, and in that regard she was superior to me. Even Yaoyorozu, who initially appeared detached and dignified, proved herself to be quite the chatterbox when comfortable. This simply made me wonder if people even remembered my name, if my face was recognizable, or if I was just another shadow who happened to be tangible on most days.
Had I been paired with anyone else, I would have used these musings as proof that I was nothing like the person everyone thought I was or wanted me to be. The constant collations I made between those around me and myself were their own ammunition, raining hell on my self esteem until all that remained were pieces of what I once called my pride.
But my partner was Todoroki Shoto.
And he was still exceptionally warm.
In the few moments I had spent around him, there were two things I had noted about him. The first was that underneath the stoicism he constantly displayed was an assuredness, a subtle confidence that seemed to be the reason behind his taciturn nature. Todoroki didn't have to prove himself to anyone or go out of his way to remind those around him that he deserved to be here. His eagerness to make his way into the building in addition to the fact he turned to me and said I'll take care of this was all but proof that he was fully aware of his prodigious skill.
The second thing was more of an afterthought than a true observation: Todoroki was far stronger than I had imagined. We had been given the hero role, making it so we had to capture the villains or their weapon. We stood outside a four story building that was built like the apartment complex two blocks away from campus. We were given five minutes to come up with a plan and fifteen minutes total to complete one of the two objectives. Fighting against our classmates wasn't what I was necessarily concerned about, but the time limit was rather alarming in of itself.
Our opponents were Iida and Bakugo. I had to automatically assume that they both had at least basic knowledge of close combat. Iida's Quirk granted him superhuman speed to the point where he was nearly undetectable to the human eye at his top speed. I was already aware of Bakugo's Quirk, but I was more worried about the fact he was for sure intent on beating me after our earlier quarrel. It bothered me slightly knowing that if provoked enough— as in, as soon as he'd see my face— he wouldn't delay in trying to put me in the hospital.
But that just led me back to my original thought. Todoroki didn't flinch nor hesitate when it was announced through our ear radios that our five minutes were up. Instead, he walked up to the building, exhaled deeply, and placed his hand on it. Within seconds, frost began to encase the exterior, slowly crawling and expanding like tendrils grabbing for something. It sent a shiver up my spine.
After removing his hand, I cast my gaze upwards and the entire structure had essentially become one giant glacier. I was equal parts impressed and intimidated by what he had achieved, and the first thought that came to my mind was if he can do this without an issue, what else is he capable of doing? In comparison, my ability to control water hardly seemed impressive, and that landed a bigger blow to my self esteem than expected. I considered this my punishment for assuming we were on the same level simply because we both took the entrance exam for students with recommendations.
I stayed closely behind Todoroki as we entered the building and began scaling the stairs. It was to my great surprise that he actually controlled the ice so delicately, he left spots on the ground untouched for us to walk across so we wouldn't slip. I caught myself uttering amazing under my breath and turned away before Todoroki could gather any suspicions.
I could only imagine by now Iida and Bakugo have come up with some sort of plan to counter us. The hallways were narrow and had several doors leading to all sorts of rooms; tables and potted plants decorated the interior, serving as their own obstacles, making it so none of us could move as freely as we wanted to.
"Do you think they know we're here already?" I asked Todoroki.
"Most likely," he responded, not bothering to look back at me. "Be careful."
I nodded torpidly. I kept my hand at my hip in case something were to happen in a split second. It was alarming how peaceful things were given the circumstances, but that was all thrown out the window as soon as I heard the sound of ice crackling.
I whirled around and shot out my arm just as Bakugo came around the corner, fist reared back and ready to strike. He slammed his hand down just before my water struck him and the resulting collision of the two attacks caused a massive cloud of smoke to disperse through the hallway. I coughed instinctively. However, the gears in my mind immediately started working as soon as I realized what the cloud was made of.
Water vapor.
"I'll fucking kill you, Cripple," Bakugo hissed. I saw his form through the haze and immediately clenched my hand into a fist. The cloud condensed and became heavier as the individual droplets shifted into their liquid form; after gathering it all together, a series of small spheres floated in the air between Bakugo and I. I cast out my arm once more, the spheres hardening into ice, and shot them off at my blond classmate.
"You piece of shit!" I heard Bakugo yell before releasing a series of explosions, easily decimating the ice.
"Todoroki—" I gasped, pivoting around on my heel. Todoroki did the same, but all I saw next was a flash of white fly past me and into the adjacent wall. Iida emerged from around a corner, his hollow laughter echoing within his helmet.
"I thought you'd be better than that, hero!" he guffawed, putting on a dramatic voice to, I assume, remain in the right head space for his role as the villain. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Todoroki slowly get to his feet, one arm wrapped around his abdomen and the other against the wall to help keep his balance. Meanwhile, Bakugo slowly lurched toward me, grinning wickedly.
"You're fucking dead!" he shouted. He positioned his arms behind him and used his explosions to rocket him through the air, simultaneously melting any ice in his vicinity. At the same time, Iida charged at me, my eyes struggling to even process where he was.
"Todoroki!" I called. Before I could even finish calling his name, he stomped on the ground, sending a wall of ice toward me, cutting Iida off from me before he had the chance to land a kick; I inwardly praised Todoroki for his quick thinking. A prominent crack appeared in the area Iida aimed for in the ice.
In the same instance, I launched a surge of water at Bakugo. He was smarter than to let that stop him, though, easily veering to the left. Another ice barrier suddenly stood in between me and him. I quickly converted the ice into water and pushed my arms out, a small wave crashing into Bakugo and tossing him down the hallway. I twiddled my fingers and the wave froze over, keeping him encased in it. He yelled a series of swears and obscenities at me, but I disregarded him and rushed over to Todoroki.
"I got you," I murmured as I crouched beside him. Using the water from my flasks, I created a sphere that seeped through his shirt to heal whatever injuries he may have sustained from Iida's attack. Another crack in the ice wall appeared, while Bakugo continued to unleash explosions.
"We don't have much time. We should go somewhere else and recuperate," I suggested. I glanced over to my partner and noticed his eyes carrying a curious glint that contrasted with the rest of his expression. "What?"
"You can heal."
I nodded once and removed my hands from his torso. "Yeah," I stated simply. "You only had a bit of cramping, so it didn't take too lo—"
"You think this will stop me, heroes?!" Iida shouted from behind the icy structure. "You have foolishly underestimated me!"
"Let's not give him the chance to prove it," I said, immediately heading down the only empty hallway.
Leaning against a wall somewhere on the fourth floor of the building, I couldn't help but berate myself for, as Iida put it, foolishly underestimating him and Bakugo. Perhaps my subconscious admiration of Todoroki led me to believe this would be an easy exercise as long as he was on the front lines. Or maybe I led myself to think they were anything like me and wouldn't take this entire thing seriously. The me from even an hour ago would have thought there's no need to put so much effort into something that was obviously fake, and that as long as I showed a semblance of interest this would turn out okay.
Simply put, I was wrong.
My own inhibitions prevented me from taking interest in anything related to heroism, and this automatically set me apart, perhaps even below my fellow classmates. Though I hardly knew them outside of name and face, their resolve was undeniable, and the fact that I tried to diminish that made me just as bad, if not worse than the people who opposed the heroes we looked up to. The mere fact that Iida was taking his role so seriously proved that this meant something to him, and to give any less than his one hundred percent would be a direct insult to his aspirations and character.
Even Bakugo, for as audacious and churlish as he was, came to Yūei for a reason, too. He had the same goal as all of us, to become a great hero, and from what I've heard from Midoriya, the greatest hero. It wasn't his power that made him strong, but rather, his determination and stubbornness. His goal wasn't that so much as it was his indisputable destiny. He just happened to have a good Quirk to help him achieve it, and I knew that in of itself made him far more powerful than I could ever imagine being.
I glanced over at Todoroki and watched as he kept his gaze steady. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, if he was thinking anything at all, but we both needed to do something, and soon. Time was running out and we didn't have the luxury of standing around and hoping for something to happen.
"Let's forget the weapon," I suddenly spoke up, my words prompting Todoroki to look at me. "We can just capture them. It'll be too much for us to try to look for the weapon and hold them off, so let's just deal with them."
He seemed to consider the prospect of my idea, a wavering in the pools of silver and turquoise he boasted. And then he looked up. I tried to ignore the way my heart skipped a beat at the eye contact we made, but his stare was firm and resolute, as if a fire flared to life within him and I was caught in the inferno.
"Let's go," he said. Coolly, confidently. "Try to restrain Iida first. I'll hold off Bakugo."
I almost replied with an are you sure? but I kept my lips pursed because the answer was so obvious. Of course he was sure. We looked at each other once more to confirm our plan and began making our way back down the hall, the chill of the ice surrounding us making goosebumps rise on my skin, or maybe it was the adrenaline pumping through my veins.
"Shimizu," Todoroki suddenly said, glimpsing at me from over his shoulder. "I'm counting on you."
I smiled.
I am, too.
Unfortunately or not, it didn't take very long for us to find Iida and Bakugo. They had been prowling the halls, like a predator searching for its prey. As soon as crimson met amethyst, Bakugo launched forward, his explosions bigger and louder than before, but not indiscriminate. They were intentional, precise, inexplicit proof of Bakugo's tactical mind. I immediately brought my arms in front of me, a shield of water acting as the only defense I had against my now raging classmate.
The blast he released was enough to completely evaporate my shield, and the sheer force sent me flying backwards. I crashed into Todoroki and the both of us were sent careening into a table that did more than just a little damage. I was left reeling, my muscles in searing pain and my head feeling like it had just been hit with a ton of bricks. At the very least, Todoroki's body protected me from the worst of the damage.
"Don't dodge, Ube Head," Bakugo hissed. Ignoring the new nickname he called me, I managed to gather enough energy to look at him, noticing Iida coming up from behind him as well. Damn it.
"What will you do now, hero?" Iida exclaimed. "Time is running out, and you haven't even found the weapon or landed a single scratch on us!"
And then something clicked.
Iida had a point. No, more than that, he was completely right. This entire time, Todoroki and I have been entirely on the defensive. We've been reacting, not acting, attacking, or taking the initiative to do what we had to do. Even Todoroki's initial strategy of freezing the entire building to stop our opponents demonstrated the lack of intention to engage in a direct fight. We had to force Iida and Bakugo to take the defensive and make them feel like they've been backed into a corner. With this new awareness, I intended to do everything I could to achieve just that.
Iida came at me first. I rolled off of Todoroki as quickly as I could and clapped my hands together. The ice still on the wall instantly gasified, once again enveloping the entire hallway in a cloud of smoke. I heard Iida's footsteps falter and blasts from Bakugo; I turned to Todoroki, who was beginning to get back up.
"Freeze them!" I shouted. Todoroki placed his hand on the ground, sending a path of rime right in the direction of our opponents while simultaneously avoiding me. Both Iida's and Bakugo's legs became entrapped within the frost. I curled my fingers into a fist and the cloud suddenly turned into water and splashed on the ground.
"As I said before, heroes, you underestimate me!" Iida voiced. He crouched down and the ice around his legs began to crack, fissure, before shattering completely. As soon as it did, I blinked once and he was suddenly in front of me, leg positioned for a roundhouse kick. I brought my arms up out of my natural reaction, but I knew this wasn't enough to match the speed he came at me with. I squeezed my eyes shut ready to accept my defeat, but when nothing occurred after a few moments, I slowly opened them and turned my head. Just before his leg reached my face, Iida had been enclosed in ice, unable to move as black smoke erupted from the engines in his calf. I looked back at Todoroki who nodded at me.
I got your back.
"Amazing!" Iida commended. "You were able to stop my Recipro Burst!"
"Fuckin' asshole," Bakugo snarled, immediately melting the ice around his feet with his explosions. He sprung toward me, eyes ablaze with fury, yet all I could do was smirk. I jerked my arm back and the perspiration on his palm followed, collecting into a sphere while all he could do was release a cloud of smoke.
"What the fu—?"
"Todoroki!"
My teammate stomped on the ground, creating a ramp of ice. I gathered the liquid I had condensed and used it to propel myself onto the ramp, racing past Bakugo, our eyes meeting for just a split second before I whirled around and lifted my arms. All the ice— from the ramp, the walls, and the floor— melted and gathered around me. We were knee deep in water that surged like a squall was passing through. Todoroki created a column of ice underneath him that he balanced on. I threw my arms forward and created a massive tidal wave that quite literally carried Bakugo and Iida away, their heads bobbing desperately above the water.
I pushed the tide to the end of the hallway, keeping them up against the wall while Todoroki took the opportunity to freeze them, leaving them perched like some sort of trophy. The adrenaline high I was experiencing suddenly faded away, and the repercussions of the damage I had taken, in addition to healing and intense use of my Quirk, all hit me at once.
I collapsed to my knees with my weight being too much for them to support, something that concerned Todoroki enough for him to rush over to me. I felt like my head was splitting in half, but that didn't even remotely compare to the pain the rest of my body was experiencing.
"Are you okay?" Todoroki asked. I nodded, but my world was spinning and I was seeing doubles of everything. I couldn't even bother to utter any words.
"Time's up!" All Might's voice was distorted and distant in my ears, but I could still process every word. "The hero team wins!"
When my eyes opened, I was in some kind of room.
I could only make out the vague outline of white linens before they closed again, weighed down by the mere thought of existing. My entire body felt like an anchor, or stone, but moving my muscles proved to be too herculean of a task, curbed by the pull in my arms and legs that made me feel like my entire body had been set on fire like some morbid effigy.
"Are you awake, dear?"
My head lolled to the side, my weary gaze settling on a head of gray. My lips curled up in spite of myself, and as soon as something soft planted itself onto my forehead, I felt less like dying and more like someone who hadn't gotten a wink of sleep in the past twenty four hours. This made it difficult to figure out which was worse, but the very least, I could move without feeling like a thousand suns exploded under my nerves.
"How do you feel?" Shuzenji-sensei asked. I could see the solicitude present on her face, something that made my lips twitch.
"I'm okay," I murmured, unable to lift myself with the fatigue that had buried its roots deep within me.
"I saw your battle," she said. "You were excellent."
"Thanks."
"And you healed your teammate. I was very happy to see that, dear."
My lips twitched again. "Jus' doin' what I had t' do," I slurred.
I saw a lift in Shuzenji-sensei's lips, but after that I gave in to the exhaustion, my world fading to black once more.
When I woke up again, I felt much better than earlier. With a clear head and a bit of rest, I was able to sit up and finally get an idea of my surroundings. I was in the infirmary, and though Shuzenji-sensei had appeared to step out, another body had joined the bed opposite of mine, emerald eyes glistening at my awakening.
"Shimizu-san, you're up!" Midoriya announced. I tilted my head toward him to solidify his statement.
"What're you doing here?" I asked. Freckled cheeks rose in nervousness. Midoriya scratched the back of his head before displaying his hand, two fingers bandaged and in casts.
"I used my Quirk," he stated quietly, as though he were trying to hide this fact from even himself.
"I see," was all I said. Just as I turned my head to the door, it slid open, a series of familiar faces that greeted me with ebullient smiles.
"Shimizu-chan! Deku!" Uraraka squeaked. I raised a brow at the nickname she referred to Midoriya as— Deku— though he seemed perfectly content with it. Behind her was Iida, Yaoyorozu, Kirishima, and to my surprise, Todoroki.
"You guys alright?" Kirishima asked, the usual jubilant grin I often saw him wearing turned downwards into an uncharacteristically solemn expression.
"I'm fine," I said, smiling slightly. "Just a little tired, but Recovery Girl healed me, so I'm doing much better."
"Same here," Midoriya added.
"You were both wonderful in your battles!" Yaoyorozu said, placing her hands over her chest. "Your Quirk is very impressive, Shimizu-san."
"I agree. Bakugo-san and I were no match for your attacks," Iida continued, having now taken off his helmet so that it was easier to hear and understand him.
"Deku was great, too! You and Kirishima-kun were an awesome pair!" Uraraka hummed.
"T-Thanks, Uraraka-san!" Midoriya sputtered out, face turning red. I was well aware of the reason why and it made me chuckle.
"We all came here to make sure you two were alright," Yaoyorozu mentioned. "If you're feeling better, we can change out of our hero costumes and return to the classroom."
"Oh, right!" Midoriya said, swinging his legs off the side of the bed. I mimicked his actions, but suddenly felt incredibly lightheaded, something that didn't go unnoticed by my peers.
"Sorry, just give me a moment. I'll be right behind you guys."
One by one, they turned on their heels and left the room, Kirishima and Uraraka loudly expressing a see you soon! before the door closed behind them. When I looked up, I was taken aback to see Todoroki had remained, staring at me with contrasting colored eyes that vaguely reminded me of storm clouds and ocean currents.
"Here," he said. He reached into his pocket and handed something to me: a snack bar. My brows pulled together in confusion at the gesture, one that was unexpected, especially because it came from him. It baffled me more knowing that he could do such a thing rather than the fact he did it at all, because in my eyes Todoroki was like me, something like a wallflower, except—
Except maybe we weren't so alike after all.
I took the snack bar and looked at it for a few seconds, my mind trying to discern if this was real, but when he spoke again I had no choice but to accept reality for what it was.
"Consider it thanks for healing me back there," Todoroki told me. Had I not been looking as closely as I was at him I would have missed the flicker in his eyes, but this was another time where his form was entrancing to me.
"Oh." I slowly got to my feet and ripped open the wrapping. "You're welcome."
A nod was his form of an ample response. Without uttering another word, we both stepped out of the office, and as I bit into the bar, I found myself once again peering at him, my thoughts returning to the memory of that warmth I felt while at his side.
The rest of the day went on as normal, though with the addition of a death glare courtesy of Bakugo that he kept on me for the entirety of class. When the bell dismissing us rang, I made sure to take my time, not wanting to get into yet another fight with him. I figured I had met my quota for those for the rest of my life. Once blond hair and seething red eyes disappeared behind the classroom door, I stood up, waving goodbye to my classmates. I considered approaching Todoroki and thanking him properly for the snack, but I knew I would only respond with a nod, or a Yeah if I was lucky, and I didn't want to put myself in that awkward situation.
I was a bit irked when I stepped outside the school building and immediately received a text message from my mother. A large part of me wanted to ignore it, thinking that it was trivial and thus not even worth checking— because she only texted me for such things— but I grit my teeth and looked at my phone anyway.
"Hurry home. Misaki is out and Tsunagu is visiting," read the message.
Without even taking the time to respond, I bolted.
When I reached home, I only had enough time to change out of my school uniform and into a more comfortable shirt and pair of leggings before the doorbell rang. Already knowing who it was, I didn't hesitate to open the door, smiling slightly at the man who towered over me.
"Good afternoon, Tendou."
"Hi there, Hakamata-san."
Hakamata Tsunagu, known to the rest of Japan as the Fiber Hero, Best Jeanist, was a close family friend and trusted confidant of my father. They had known each other for years, long before I was born, and this camaraderie continued long after. It was someone from his agency who helped to design my hero costume.
He stepped inside my home, glancing around as if carefully scanning the interior to make sure it was up to his standards. By the pleased look on his mostly concealed face, it seemed it was.
"Did you need something?" I asked.
"Are your sister or mother here?" he responded. I shook my head as a negative answer.
"No, my sister must have stepped out, and Mom is likely still at work."
"Oh? Well, at least you're here," he commented. It was enough to make my lips curl into a smile. "How is school, Tendou? You're in Yūei, correct?"
"In the hero course," I confirmed. "It's going well. I had a training exercise today."
"So it seems. You look exhausted."
I chuckled begrudgingly. I almost replied with a cheeky these bags under my eyes are designer, but ultimately decided against it, and just lamely shrug my shoulders.
"Well, I had to fight with and against some of the strongest kids in the class," I muttered wearily, biting my tongue for admitting such a fact about Bakugo. "I had to put in more effort than I expected."
"Is that a bad thing?" he asked. I took a deep breath.
"No." I frowned slightly. "But it makes me wonder if I'm built for Yūei."
"Why wouldn't you be?"
"Because I—"
Because I don't want to be a hero. Or, more truthfully, I'm not ready to become a hero. But I took a moment to consider how this would sound to someone who was ranked the number four hero in all of Japan. Though Tsunagu was someone close to us, someone who we all trusted, his entire career, and by extension, his life, revolved around his heroism. It wasn't something he took lightly, either, and I knew admitting what I was holding close to my heart would be a personal affront to everything he stood for.
I really am a horrible person, aren't I?
"I still have a lot to work on, I guess," I fibbed. I looked away, unable to face Tsunagu after telling such a lie.
"Well, that's why you're at Yūei, Tendou," he said. "The entire point of that school is to become the best version of yourself."
I inhaled sharply through my teeth while repeating that one statement in my head over and over like a broken record. The best version of myself. Those were the same words that raised me into who I am now. To become a hero, the greatest hero I could be, was a constant grail that followed me in every step I took, a driving force behind what was supposedly my fate. It was a truth that was only called such because enough people considered it to be one, but that fact alone made it less of a truth and more of a misguided hope.
And as much as I wanted to reject it, as vehemently as I denied that this was all my life was worth, I knew that behind every bit of praise I received, each pedestal that was crafted for me, there was nothing else for me. What else could there be? I was the prodigy, the genius, the girl who could touch the stars as long as she put her mind to it. I was the reincarnation of every glorious woman ever lived, the reborn soul of every king who ever ruled. How else could I ignore those interminable voices that dwelled in the shadows? What was I supposed to do when the sadness became so overwhelming even the moon wept aside from admitting to myself: this is my fate.
I was everything and nothing. Powerful, but weak. Lonely, but withdrawn. A walking paradox, a breathing irony.
I didn't know what else to say to Tsunagu. Thankfully, Misaki didn't take very long to arrive, but by then I had retreated to my room and laid in my bed for what felt like an eternity, contemplating who I was, all that made me such. For a moment I thought if dying would be selfish of me; if I were to, say, melt into my bed or become one with the earth, or even run away forever and change my name, if that would make me the antagonist.
It was something that I genuinely pondered, but it wasn't something I could actually go through, whether because I was too scared or too tightly entwined in the obligations that kept me here. I knew that doing something like disappearing forever— literally or metaphorically— was something I could have no doubts over, nor was it something I could have any chance of surviving. If my accident taught me anything, it's that my body was far too stubborn to succumb to anything that wasn't undeniably fatal. And although the concept of dying seemed appealing, the actual act of it did not.
So, I lied there. Desperate to hear my father remind me of a time before I ever thought about such things, I continued to replay the sound of his voice from the memories I could collect, inevitably falling asleep to the sounds of a thunderstorm.
a/n
so i originally wanted the fight to be todoroki and tendou vs iida and midoriya, but i decided to switch it to bakugo instead last minute, ig as a 'follow up' of their previous fight last chapter. so yeah! i actually really enjoyed writing this chapter as i dove deeper into tendou's mindset and her views of herself and others. if it wasn't too obvious by now, tendou is very self deprecatory and behind her snark lies a girl with a lot of self esteem issues and doubts. i really enjoyed exploring this part of her that doubts if she's good enough and if she's worthy of being around the people in her life.
thank you so much for reading and reviewing, it's greatly appreciated! i'll see you next time!
