A/N: Hello all! Thank you so much for your reviews! They mean so much to me! This is where I drew the normal end to the story, but some of you have expressed a wish that it continue. Now, after you read I am sure that you'll find it impossible, but there is a way... that it, if you want me to. Just let me know what you think. I don't mind either way, but I do enjoy writing for you all. Anywho... enjoy!
Snowstar: I hope it's the good kind of crying! I'd feel awful if you were crying because it sounded horrible!
Stash Wallace: Well, I've voiced your thoughts... let's see what they say. And thank you. It means a lot to me that you like it, even in comparison to the great Susan Kay.
fairlie.hartright.88: Thank you my dear. Your opinion means a lot... though I get it from you weather I want to or not! But then, I guess that's what happens when you're best friends:)
snapedreamer: Don't hug your lap top too hard... you'll break it! lol. I'm glad you liked it. I tried hard to make it be something that people wouldn't go "Eww...".
How
do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I
love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My
soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For
the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I
love thee to the level of every day's
Most
quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I
love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I
love thee purely, as they turn from Praise;
I
love thee with the passion put to use
In
my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I
loved thee with a love I seemed to lose
With
my lost saints - I love thee with the breath,
Smiles,
tears of all my life! - and, if God choose,
I
shall but love thee better after death.
From: How do I love thee?
By: Elizabeth Barrett Browning
We lay there in awe of what passed between us, our erratic breathing slowly returning to normal. He held me tightly to him, kissing my head through the mass of dark curls.
"Thank you, Christine. You have given me a gift more beautiful than I can describe; more beautiful than I deserve..."
I lay with my head pressed against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm as his heart beat a tattoo in my ear. "Erik, I give you more than myself. I give you my soul."
I still am not sure if it was the tears that caused his heart to suddenly take on an temperamental pace, or if that was what had cause the tears. But either way, I could feel the tremor pass through him, heard his sharp intake on breath as his arms tightened involuntarily around me. I pulled away to look at him, his eyes were shut and his jaw was clenched firmly. Tears slid silently from under his closed lids and I gently kissed them away.
He finally let out a shattered breath and the look in his eyes made my heart break afresh.
"How much longer?" I asked softly.
He smiled faintly. "Not long."
I buried my face in the crook of his neck and my shoulders began to tremble as I cried softly.
"Do not weep for me, my angel. My time is done and I'm glad for it."
"Don't talk like that, Erik. I need you. Please don't leave me."
He sighed in my hair, his hands running soothingly up and down my naked back. "I'll never leave you, Christine. Not even death can separate us now."
We had made love once more, slow and almost leisurely, our passion being spent. We took the time to watch the beauty unfold between us.
I had fallen asleep in his arms, the dreams I had were a pale comparison to the reality that I had just experienced. It was strange what my senses detected first. I already knew I was in bed, the sheets soft against my bare flesh. Erik's fingers and mine were intertwined and I was tucked perfectly against him. He was warm and inviting. I smiled as I felt his lips pressing gentle kisses to every inch of my face. His free hand was tracing lazy patterns on my exposed skin.
"Christine..." he softly whispered my name like a prayer, calling me back from the world of the sleeping. I opened my tired eyes and he gave me a tormented smile.
"It's time..."
I was wide awake in an instant, sitting abruptly upright in bed. "No. Not yet. It's still too soon."
He sighed tiredly, like someone who had been awake for days on end without rest. Only we both knew that when he finally slept, he would not wake again. He gently stroked the outline of my features before it became too difficult to raise his hand and he let it fall back to lay against his chest.
"Christine... before I go... There is something... something I have to tell you..." His every word became more and more difficult to formulate and I listened closely, knowing it would it would be useless to tell him to save his energy by not talking.
"My life... was nothing but darkness... I hated God and He hated me. But then He gave me you... He sent an angel to the wolf... You showed me love when no one else did... You shrouded my life with light... and you have made me believe in God once more. Know that I die happy... a fate I should have been denied. This I swear to you, Christine... I will succeed in death where I failed in life... I will be the angel that you always thought I was... I will watch over you... protect you... and love you... forever..."
Each word caused him more pain and he reached the end with exhausted relief. I could hardly see him through my flood of tears and placed a kiss to his lips, they were cold now... much colder than they had been only an hour ago.
"I love you," I whispered brokenly. I could physically feel him slipping away from me and I could not follow. With his last breath, he said my name, so softly that I almost missed it. His hand, still held in mine, grew slack and gripped my hand no more. Upon his lips was the faintest of smiles as he greeted the world beyond my understanding.
I wept an ocean for him, the words of his requiem tearing themselves from the remnants of my heart and soul.
By the time the words of my religious lament had passed, I had stopped crying and a calmness spread through me. I could still feel Erik there, but the feeling was not from the shell that was his body. No, that was empty. I felt him inside me. His love leaving an imprint upon me that I would carry with me forever.
I pulled myself away from him and began to dress in silence. I did not feel the loneliness that I had expected would accompany his death. It was as though Erik was standing right behind me. Though I could not see him, the feeling was so real that I could swear I could feel the warmth of his breath as it caressed over me. Erik was with me. He always was and he always would be.
And so it was that I walked from the room with an almost serene air. My soul had been tortured and was now at peace. Erik had died but his love remained steadfast. I had given him my soul and he was its guardian. I knew that he had not abandoned me, he would be with me, beside me, a part of me, all the days of my life.
