WFA: REAL SHIELD SUMMIT EPISODE TRES!
"Alright!" Furno Moxley exclaims as he, Nyx Rosewood, Raptor Reigns, and Aiden Black all sit around a coffee table. "Welcome to the third episode of Real Shield Summit!"
Hooky with Sloane - Bird Creek
(REAL SHIELD SUMMIT!)
"Let's start this off with Yeah or Nope. Theme today is Star Wars."
(YEAH OR NOPE - Star Wars)
"And I shall start off." Furno says as he shows them two desk displays. "These are glow in the dark displays of K-2SO and a Deathtrooper from Rogue One. I set these up as nightlights."
"Definitely not for kids in the middle of the night." Raptor raises the NOPE paddle.
"I like it." Nyx says simply and raises her YEAH paddle.
"Nerds approve." Aiden says and raises his YEAH paddle. "Okay, I wanna go next." He then pulls out his phone. "Here's a picture of me as an actual Stormtrooper on the set of Force Awakens."
"No fucking way." Raptor curses as he shows them the photo. It shows him in what appears to be a Star Destroyer.
"You got to wear the actual armor. Instant Yeah." Nyx raises the paddle.
"Did you get to film fight scenes?" Furno asks.
"...Nope." the Ghost Fox replies, then Furno and Raptor raise their NOPE paddles.
"Stormtrooper armor yet you didn't do any fight scenes?!" Raptor exclaims in exaggerated shock.
"Not as cool! Next!" Furno calls.
"I'm sure you three will love this…" the Samoan then sets on the table… a Porg plush? THAT MOVES!
"It MOVES?!" Nyx squeals. She raises her YEAH paddle.
"Okay, that's a Porg, alright: cute and annoying." Furno and Aiden raise their YEAH paddles.
"It's animated, the store said." Raptor tells them while Nyx starts hugging the plush. It was her turn.
"Oh wait. My turn." Nyx says as she exits the room for a while. Afterwards, she returns...with a Millenium Falcon toy? She sets it down on the table.
"This…" she starts, then pulls out a controller. "Is a drone!"
The Falcon starts to levitate, causing the guys to go wide eyed. It doesn't take long for them to raise their YEAH paddles.
"Okay, that clearly settles Yeah or Nope for today. Now, it's time for the jar." Furno says.
(JAR OF PUNISHMENT)
Furno pulls out a paper from the jar. "From Will Ralston...eat surstromming…Well, shit."
"I've seen videos. I'm nervous about this." Aiden tells him.
"So…let's get some." Furno tells them.
(Spongebob "1 hour later" screen)
They are now shown outside the arena. A yellow can is on the table they're sitting around on.
"Alright, I hear this is smelly as fuck so…" Furno pulls out a can opener. "Let's do this."
It cuts to him trying to open the can. When he does, a hissing sound is heard.
"I smell it." Nyx covers her nose and mouth.
"This mask does not work." Aiden is shown wearing a face mask to block off the smell yet his face turns green. Raptor is not around as he went to the restroom. Despite the smell, Furno manages to open the can and they see the fermented fish meal in all its glory.
"I got the bread." Raptor appears, holding a plate of toasted bread for the group.
"Alright, let's eat."
All four get tiny scoops from the can and proceed to eat the surstromming. Their reactions?
"It's so briny." Furno makes a disgusted face. Nyx quickly runs off to puke.
Raptor shakes his head and says "Why are we doing this?"
"I need bread." Aiden quickly goes ahead and eats a piece of toast.
"Well, we're throwing this away." Furno says. "After we wash our mouths...and hands, actually, after we take a bath, we're showing a new segment back inside the arena. It's called Unpopular Opinions. Today's topic? Star Wars...Rey's parents are...WHO?!"
(UNPOPULAR OPINIONS)
Back around the coffee table, Furno starts. "I swear, it's like since Force Awakens came out, we were just wondering constantly over who Rey's parents are. Battlefront: we got Imperial defectors that turned out no. Rogue One: Jyn Erso fucking died! Solo: By the time Rey would have been born, Qi'ra could not have given birth." Furno says. "I do believe that Rey was born the same way Anakin was."
"Like a Force baby?" Nyx asks.
"Yeah. Maybe there's this other prophecy we never get to see and Rey is in the center of it." Furno tells them. Maybe they'll reveal it in yet another standalone Star Wars movie along with someone else who MIGHT be Rey's mom. But, then again, whoever Rey's mom is would be if the Force baby theory is true, she might be a new character we don't see until the last second."
"It's at this point when I wish the Star Wars Legends canon was canon. Anyway," Nyx starts. "I think she's not a Force baby, but a clone of Luke, more specifically, from the hand that got cut off."
"What?" the others ask.
"Think about it. How else did Anakin's lightsaber instantly connect with her instead of Kylo Ren in Force Awakens? Being born from the same hand that held it previously."
"So...she was born from the hand of the guy who held it?" Raptor asks. "Seems like a stretch. And Rey's parents are junk traders who sold her."
"They never said they were her parents BIOLOGICALLY." Nyx added emphasis on the last word. "Perhaps the whole thing came to be when the Emperor wanted to make a clone of Luke since he refused the Dark Side."
"Wouldn't Rey be older if that's the case?" Aiden points out.
"Well, I still believe the clone theory. No other person could have high potential in the Force as she exhibited in The Force Awakens besides a Skywalker."
"Or a Force baby." Furno cuts in.
"I'm...still a firm believer that she's the typical 'comes from nowhere' thing where no one important is her parent." Raptor tells them.
"Seriously?" Nyx asks.
"It's at this point where I feel like they'll never set up who Rey's parents are." Raptor replies. "Last Jedi was too full of subplots to focus on that."
"Either that, or it's Captain Phasma who's her mom." Furno jokes.
"Is that one of those absurd fan theories?" Aiden asks.
"Oh yeah. But, hey, we may never know until Disney decides to show it."
"We will never get a movie about the original canon, yet that was more in-depth." Nyx sighs.
"Anyway, here's my take on the matter." Aiden starts. "Age and pregnancy logic aside, Rey could possibly have been born through Qi'ra and Kylo Ren is her half brother. I've read some theories where Qi'ra is somewhat connected to the Dark Side as we saw in the ending of the Han Solo movie via Darth Maul. And since Luke and Leia are siblings, the latter is connected to the Light Side."
"Yet somehow gave birth to children of the opposite side?" Raptor asks.
"Aye." Aiden replies. "After falling out with Leia, as mentioned in Force Awakens, Han had a kid with Qi'ra, said kid being Rey, who is drawn to the light side while Ben aka Kylo Ren was drawn to the dark side. This also correlates to their Force bond in The Last Jedi: blood ties matter."
"Well that just made the Force bond a lot more awkward." Nyx says.
"Well, those are our takes on who Ma-Rey Sue's parents are. We'll be seeing you in the next video." Furno points at the camera as it cuts to black.
