A/N: I've made some changes from the original version of this chapter, and I hope to take this story in an edgier direction. I have up to Chapter 6 written and I'll start posting again soon! And concerning the length, I've given up. I guess every chapter is gonna be super long. It's kinda my thing.
*DISCLAIMER*
Me: Okay, I think we can work this out!
Stephanie Meyer: Work what out?
Me: All the characters except Jake will belong to you. Everything else belongs to me. (Everything else being Jake)
Stephanie Meyer: Sorry, I don't think I can do that.
Me:WHY?
Yes, it's true. All characters, even Jake, belong to Stephanie Meyer (At least until she stops being so stubborn about letting me have him) Songs and movies mentioned also do not belong to me.
Shame. Complete and utter shame. Embarrassment to the nth degree. I bolted out of Jake's kitchen door, and all I could think about was how much I'd screwed up. I couldn't believe I was dumb enough to put the wrong ending on the video. I couldn't believe I was dumb enough to record my love proclamation in the first place. I was almost out of Jake's backyard when a hand wrapped around my wrist, yanking me back. I tried wrenching it away, refusing to look in my captor's direction.
"Nessie, wait." I stopped struggling in his grasp, but I still didn't turn to face him. I looked at the ground, ignoring the stinging in my eyes. I couldn't face him.
"What do you want," I bit out.
"Did you mean it," He asked, an intensity in his voice that I'd never heard before. I was silent, refusing to answer.
"Renesmee. Did you-"
"Yes! Of course I meant it, Jacob. Did you," I finally looked over my shoulder and into his eyes. "Did you really not know?"
His face was unreadable. Brows furrowed in concentration. Gaze shifted away in a sort of… bashfulness. Eyes molten. Lip bitten. God, I want to bite that lip for him. To taste him. Focus, Renesmee! Focus!
"I wanna talk. Please come back over tomorrow," He begged. I gave him a look.
"Why not now?"
"It's… something that's just for you and me. It's private. And the whole pack is in there…"
"Why? It's not like they didn't see the video," I muttered bitterly.
"Please, Ness. I just wanna be alone with you," He pleaded. My heart nearly pounded out of my chest. Suddenly, I felt hot all over. My brain took the sentence way out of context, and I imagined all of the things he'd do to me. When we were alone. I ripped my arm from his grasp before he could see my thoughts. He looked confused and hurt. I made my way to the gate in his backyard's fence before stopping and turning to him.
"I'll be at your place around six tomorrow," I whispered, giving in. He looked relieved and nervous at the same time.
"Okay, Ness. I'll take you home," He offered. I shook my head.
"No, I- um, I need some time. And you do, too." I paused. I decided to buck up. To be brave.
"I've sorted through my feelings. I love you, Jake. So, now you need time to sort through your feelings. Maybe," I looked at him hopefully. "Maybe you'll grow to love me, too."
He opened his mouth in protest, but I cut him off with a quick, "Bye, Jake" and ran off. I retrieved my carryon and my acoustic guitar from his trunk before heading home.
When I got home, everybody was crowding around the front door, eager to give me hugs and kisses. I plastered a smile on my face, feigning happiness. But Dad and Jasper knew. They gave each other a long glance and followed me out of the room when I left to put my things away.
"My entire life is fucked up," I called over my shoulder to them.
"Language," My dad growled. I rolled my eyes, and I'm sure that Jasper could sense the wary cynicism in my mood.
"Is this about Jake," Jasper asked. I sighed.
"It's always about Jake."
"What happened," Jazz asked.
"He knows how she feels," My dad murmured. Jasper sighed.
"Don't know what took him so long. I can feel others' emotions, so I might be a bit hard on his lack of perception. But even Emmett knew."
"Hey!" Emmett yelled in indignation across the house. Even in my current state, it made me chuckle.
"What did Jake say," Jazz asked.
"We're gonna talk about it tomorrow," I said. We reached the little cottage, and I turned to Dad and Jasper.
"I'm tired. I just wanna sleep in my own bed right now."
"Okay, sweetie," My dad said, leaning in to kiss my cheek.
"Feel free to answer any question anyone has. I don't want to talk about it, and it's not exactly private anymore," I murmured.
"I'm sorry, honey."
"It's fine, Dad. I just… need to rest. That's all."
Dad and Jasper gave me hugs before I trudged upstairs to my room. I set my stuff down and collapsed into bed. I shimmied my clothes off without getting up from bed, flinging discarded jeans, hoodie, and bra across the room. Clad in a Paramore t-shirt and underwear alone, I nestled myself under the covers. My sheets felt warmer than expected. I'd been gone for two weeks, and they should've been cold from the absence of a warm body. Since vampires are more sensitive to heat than humans, we can feel leftover body heat in a bed for days while it'd feel cold to a human mere hours later. However, my bed should've cooled down after a two week absence. What was even weirder was how strongly the smell of Jacob hit me the second I lay my head on my pillow.
The smell was driving me crazy. I've always liked how Jacob smelled, but never has his scent been so sexually charged before. There was definitely something different about it. I breathed him in, and my whole body tingled. My face was on fire. I should be sad or embarrassed or angry when I think of Jake, considering what had happened earlier. But all I felt was that aching, wanting feeling that I got whenever I saw him shirtless. But, like, times a hundred. I closed my eyes and tried to relax, but what I'd just learned made it impossible to think past the haze of lust fogging my mind. Jacob Black had been in my bed. I didn't get much sleep that night.
… … …
I woke a little past noon the next day. I walked to my window to smell the October air. Halloween was in a week, and the weather was cooling as leaves turned vibrant shades of red and orange. I knew that it wouldn't be much longer before they turned brown and fell to the ground. Fall felt so ephemeral. I always thought that plants look most beautiful as they cling to their last bits of life before dying. They were so vibrant. So eye-catching. Fall was always Jake's favorite season, so it'd always been mine as well.
I threw on some headphones and played some music. It was slow and sexy. Paula Cole. "Feelin' Love." The beat was heady and intoxicating. Her voice was raspy and needy. It took about .2 seconds before Jake entered my mind. Naked. Beneath me. The sexual fantasies I'd been having about Jake before I left were frequent and dirty. But what I had Jake doing in my head at that point in time could've made Emmett blush. It was the filthiest, sexiest thing I could imagine him doing. Him on his knees. Begging me to dominate him. To control him. What it'd be like if I could make him whimper.
Half a mile away, I heard my dad clear his throat loudly. I snapped out of my daze, ears burning. Damn mind-reading, vampire father. I got less privacy than any teenage girl in the nation. I couldn't even have a harmless sex fantasy without my dad prying into my head.
"I don't have to pry. Your thoughts are almost as loud as Jacob's," my dad muttered outside.
"What does Jacob think about?"
"Mind-reader confidentiality policy breached. My lips are sealed."
"Come on! It's just Jake," I pleaded. I wish I could see him in order to give him my puppy dog eyes, but the half mile of distance between us made that impossible.
"Would you want Jake to know what you're thinking," He asked smugly. I gave a loud sigh as my cheeks warmed. Jake knowing what transpires in the deepest, darkest corners of my mind would probably make me snap. The figurative straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak.
"That's what I thought," Dad murmured.
I put music back on, refraining from thinking about Jake and his God-like body. Then I read. Then I drew. Then I practiced guitar. It seemed as if time wasn't even passing. It was only three o'clock, and I felt like I'd been trying to distract myself for days. I went downstairs to get some water. Dad sat in the living room with Mom, each of them reading a book with one hand while using the other to hold hands. My dad suddenly jerked his head up. A few seconds passed before my mom and I knew why. Or rather, smelled it. My mom's nose scrunched up. I bit my lip. Jacob.
I went to open the door before he even knocked. He stood there with his hand poised in the air, staring at me. He was most likely surprised that I was the one to answer the door. I realized that I probably looked like a wreck. My hair was a mess, all I was wearing was that same Paramore shirt from yesterday, and I didn't even have a bra on. The cold autumn air hit me, and I shivered. I rubbed my arms, trying to warm up, and one of the sleeves of my shirt slipped over my shoulder. My dad growled in the next room.
"Jacob," He said, voice seething. "It's cold. Maybe you should let Renesmee wear your sweatshirt."
Jacob quickly nodded in compliance before pulling his sweatshirt off. As he did so, the tank top that he wore underneath rode up, revealing his perfectly chiseled abdominals. My mouth watered, tongue becoming uncomfortably wet. As did other places.
My dad groaned in the next room, no doubt sensing my intense attraction to Jake. I blushed and pulled on Jake's sweatshirt. It fell almost to my knees and the sleeves went past the tips of my fingers. I looked back up at Jake, and then I forgot to breathe. His eyes were profound pools of dark chocolate, inviting me in for a taste. Dear God, I wanted to taste him.
My dad made the most exasperated noise I've ever heard and stormed out, my mom following close behind. I couldn't meet Jake's eyes, afraid that he knew it was my thoughts that drove my dad out.
"Why, um- Why are you here, exactly," I stuttered.
"I, uh- to pick you up, I guess," Jake stammered. He felt as awkward as I did.
"We agreed on six," I said.
"I know."
"And I said I'd go to your place. Not that you'd pick me up."
"I know that. I just, uh, got anxious. I'm not really good at waiting, Ness. I missed you." My heart slammed against my rib cage, trying to break out and fly to Jacob.
"Um, yeah. Sure. I get what you mean, I guess. Are we going? Now?"
"Well, yeah. If you want to. Or I could leave-" He edged towards the door.
"No! Um," I calmed down. "No, it's fine. I'll throw on some jeans, and we'll go."
… … …
The drive in Jake's car was slightly awkward. The radio blasted, and the bass vibrated our seats. This only made the uncomfortable sensation that Jake was causing between my thighs to worsen. Something about Jake was igniting this fire that I never knew existed within me. I thought the heat in my face and the quickening of my heartbeat was what lust was. God, it was only the beginning. Now, in such close proximity to Jacob, I felt this newfound stickiness all over. My breathing was weird. A tingle between my legs. There was a tightening in my chest. Literally. I'd grown used to the figurative tightening my chest underwent every time Jake smiled; but this tightening was something else completely. It was not my heart. It was, dare I say, my nipples. God, I hate the word nipples. But even they were reacting to Jake in peculiar ways.
I tried singing along to the song on the radio. Then I realized that it was about sex. And my brian returned to thoughts of sex. Again. I changed the station, but the song that played next was even worse. Dirtier. Desire by Meg Meyers. I'd heard it a few times before, but I never really paid attention to the words. For some reason, I couldn't make myself change the station.
Baby, I wanna to touch you
I wanna breathe into your well
See, I gotta to hunt you
I gotta to bring you to my hell
Baby, I wanna fuck you,
I wanna feel you in my bones
Boy, I'm gonna love you
I'm gonna tear into your soul
Suddenly I felt hot all over. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, peaking over at Jake. His eyes were glued to the road. He clenched on to the steering wheel hard so hard that I feared it may snap off. The muscles in his jaw flexed, tensing. I bit my lip and tried fanning myself, attempting to cool down. The chorus blasted through the speakers before the song returned to verse.
Honey, I wanna break you
I wanna throw you to the hounds,
I gotta hurt you, I gotta hear from your mouth
Boy, I wanna taste you, I wanna skin you with my tongue
I'm gonna kill you,
I'm gonna lay you in the ground-
I slammed the button on the stereo, turning the radio off. Jake looked over at me, surprised at my outburst. He was seemingly unaware of the nerve that those lyrics struck. Of my nightmare. Even days later, I couldn't erase the terror I felt at my dream.
Jake hesitantly turned the radio back on, switching the station before settling on an oldies station. Frank Sinatra crooned to us, his song distinctly not about sex. Simultaneously, Jake and I released the breath that neither of us realized we'd been holding. He chuckled, and I grinned. Back to normal. My lusty daze started settling back down to the subtle, consistent attraction to Jake that I'd grown used to. The thrumming of my heart to the tap of his thumbs against the steering wheel.
I was humming along to Patsy Cline when I noticed Jake's hand hesitantly slip into mine. He sighed in relief when my fingers interlocked with his, as if he'd been afraid of rejection. Normally, I would've briefly squeezed his hand before pulling away, afraid my walls would break down. Now, though, I needed Jake to touch me; even if it was in a small, platonic way. My skin had been calling out to his for the last year, and I couldn't take it anymore. I checked my walls, making sure they were in tact. I sometimes felt like the ice queen in Frozen. Obsessed with keeping my emotions guarded. It was nothing I hadn't grown accustomed to. Same as always.
There was one thing different, however. One thing that went against tradition: the way my hand felt in his. It'd been a while since we'd held hands, and I don't remember the feel of his skin sending jolts of electricity up and down my arm. His breath against my extremely sensitive skin made me feel heated and flustered. I don't remember wanting him this way, this much. It was nerve-wrecking. I was relieved when his car pulled into the driveway. I tried not to seem too eager when I yanked my hand from his and hopped out of the car.
I loved Jake's house. He wasn't too emotionally attached to it, as he was usually at Billy's or at my house. When he turned nineteen, he got this small place as somewhere to touch base. He kept his clothes here, and it was always good for the occasional movie night. He didn't take me here often, afraid that it wouldn't compare to my large, extravagant family house. But I loved it. When I needed some guaranteed alone-with-Jake-time, this was the best place. It was on the rez, so there were no threats of mind-reading fathers or over-protective aunts interrupting us. The only thing that ever interrupted us here were Jake's pack duties.
I grinned at my home-away-from-home as we walked up the driveway together. I loved it's old brick walls, it's white windows, and the red-painted door that I'd made so many Elizabeth Arden Jokes about. His house was small and rustic, unlike my family home. Jake lived simply, never keeping anything he didn't need. Even if he liked something, he wouldn't keep it unless it proved to have some sort of greater purpose. It made me feel special, as I was one of the elite few he deemed worthy of being in his life.
We walked inside. We sat down on Jake's sofa. We stared expectantly at each other in silence. Each of us waited for the other to talk. Neither knew what to say. This was new ground. As in one-of-us-just-found-out-the-other-is-in-love-with-them ground. I moved to sit down on the couch, completely silent. Usually, I tried to make sound as I walked. Occasionally I'd purposely stumble or trip in order to seem more human. But now, I was so nervous that I unconsciously moved with my natural grace. Backwards, I know.
I waited for "the talk." The "I don't love you back" talk. Part of me still couldn't believe that he knew. He knew I loved him. That I was in love with him. I stared blankly at the wall, wondering exactly who came up with the idea for this thrilling, confusing, wonderful, heart-breaking feeling. I waited for the final blow, my mind reverting to what I always thought about when pondering my unreturned feelings. Imprinting.
I don't think Jake has imprinted, yet. I'm trying to prepare myself for when does happen. A girl I don't even know will become Jake's everything. Jake will probably stop phasing to age with her. One day, he'll die. And I'll have to live an eternity without him. The thought alone nearly scares me to death, and I'm immortal. Or, at least, Carlisle seems to think I am.
The awkward silence stretched on for minutes. Jake sat across from me. I was still as a statue, too anxious to fidget. From outside, I heard the rustle of leaves by the wind. I heard the ticking clock from upstairs. I heard Jake's breaths, his heartbeats, even. But we said nothing. Just when I opened my mouth to break the silence, Jake spoke.
"Wanna… um, watch a movie? Or something?"
I blanched. This was our talk? Wanna watch a movie, or something? Jake who had- from what I heard- relentlessly pursued my mother couldn't handle being on the other side? No, "I know it sucks, and you're great. But I just don't feel that way about you?" No, "I'm sorry, but we should just be friends?" Not even a lousy, "It's not you, it's me?" Wanna watch a movie, or something?! What the fucking hell, Jake? He was totally ignoring my embarrassing confession from last night. Skirting the subject, acting as if it never happened! This was un-fucking-believable. What was even for unbelievable? My response.
"Um, yeah. S-Sure. That, um, a movie. Great. Sounds great. Yeah."
What. The. Fucking. Hell. Fucking hellfire! Raining down from the sky on mother fucking comets of god damn flames from hell! Disintegrating my piss-poor excuse of a life. I probably fucked up in a past life to deserve this shit. And badly. Damn it. Holy mother-fucking shit-
In my haze of cursing and self-deprecation, I didn't notice Jake take my hand. Attempting to move me from the couch in the direction of his movie collection. He raised an eyebrow at my language.
"The fuck is wrong, Ness?"
Like you don't already fucking know, Jake. The fuck do you think is wrong? The thought flew out before I could yank my hand back. He stood there, shocked. I plastered on a fake smile and brushed past him. Two could play this game of avoidance.
"Nothing's wrong, Jakey. What kind of movie do you wanna watch," I asked in a voice that was unbearably sugar sweet. He gave me a confused look, obviously wondering if my snappy response had been entirely in his head. Which it was, but only because I accidentally put it there.
"Uh, pick whatever. It's your turn."
I decided to go with Mr. & Mrs. Smith. It was funny, and one of my favorites. I'm kind if a Bradgelina fan. Sue me. I bought it for Jake, but we hadn't watched it in a year or two. My flawless memory and easily bored mind didn't exactly make re-watching movies very much fun. Not even my favorite ones. The only movie that I've ever watched more than twice in a year was Magic Mike. Alone. In my room. Picturing Jake every time. Somehow, it never got old.
The movie was action-packed and funny. Jake grumbled at how I ogled Brad Pitt every time he cam on screen. It was fun. Then came the sex scene. Last time I saw the movie, I giggled in slight discomfort. Now, I was breaking into a full-body sweat. It was a different kind of discomfort. I flushed, and suddenly the light cotton blankets on top of me felt like layers of wool. I couldn't help but to think about sex with Jake. Rough, break-the-house sex with Jake. I knew, what with our supernatural strength, that we could theoretically have insane, destructive sex. If he liked me back, that is. And wanted me sexually. Which he didn't.
Still, all I could think about was what sex with Jake would be like. This wasn't particularly strange. However, this usually happened when I was alone in bed at night, staring up at my ceiling in resignation. Not when I was a foot away from him, trying to ignore the slickness between my thighs. As the movie was ending, I saw him sniff. As if he was picking up on a new scent. Panicked, I abruptly stood up.
"I'm tired, Jake. You mind if I crash in your room," I asked, hoping he didn't detect the discomfort in my voice.
"Ness, it's only six."
"Yeah, I didn't really sleep last night. Super tired." I rush out of the room.
"But Ness, I thought we were gonna talk," He called after me as I headed upstairs.
"We can talk later! I mean, it's waited this long," I threw in bitterly.
He was silent. I closed the door to his room after walking inside. The smell of him hit me like a semi-truck. The wetness between my thighs grew ten time worse. I was enveloped in Jacob. His scent permeated the air, thick and lascivious and virile. I settled down on his bed, and my eyes rolled back in my head a little. He smelled delicious. It wasn't as strong as when I was beside him, but it surrounded me. And, unlike when I'm beside Jake, I let myself breathe in deeply. When he's there, I usually take shallow breaths so that his scent didn't arouse me. God, I wanted him.
I tried to expel sex from my brain. Usually thoughts of dead bunnies or world hunger did the trick, but my train of thought was persistent. It refused to be deterred from the idea of sleeping with Jacob. I groaned in frustration. I was ridiculously turned on right now. I eventually drifted into sleep. Reality soon became fantasy.
His hands on my body. His lips on mine. His moan as he pressed himself against me. I wanted him to devour me as I consumed him. I wanted us to drink each other in, drunk on the sensations of skin on skin. I wanted his flesh beneath my palms, to feel him writhe beneath my touch. To feel him move inside of me. He was all I could breathe. I could only imagine the look on his face as he came undone above me. I could only imagine the swell of satisfaction I'd feel if I could be the one to undo him. I wanted to be his end. I already knew he'd be mine. I wanted to feel him closer than anyone else.
Usually, when I fantasized about sex with Jacob, it was sweet. Tender. Loving. Maybe a little steamy, but it always fell under the category of "making love." This dream was not a love-making fantasy. In this dream, Jake and I were fucking. Hot, sweaty, sensual fucking. It started when we made eye contact from across the room. And, almost out of nowhere, we were ripping each other's clothes off. No foreplay, and he was pounding me into a wall, leaving an indentation of my body against it. But his thrusts were too hard and frantic. The wall collapsed, and I started riding him on top of the rubble. He gripped my hips hard enough to crush a normal girl's bones and thrust up against me. I pinned his hands to his sides and rode him slowly, easing up and down his shaft teasingly. He whimpered.
"God, Ness. Please," He whispered, voice breaking.
"Beg me, Jake," I moaned. And he did. Begging, pleading, dying for me to go faster. Harder. Deeper. I nipped at his neck, grinding against him when I heard his breathing become erratic. I let him flip me over, ramming into me with bruising force. I screamed. He tugged my hair and bit my shoulder hard enough to draw blood.
"Ah, Jake! Yes. Oh- Oh, God," I gasped, voice escalating. I was so close. I pulled him forward, tracing my teeth along his collar bone. I was about to sink my teeth in his neck for a taste of him, but it was then that I heard a crash. I woke from my dream, eyes flashing open. I was met with Jake staring at me in shock. His dresser was knocked over, and he was sprawled out on the floor. Alarm was written on his face.
"Whatthefuckwasthat," Jake practically screamed. What's going on? Why's Jake-
In less than half a second, I was flattened against the wall on the opposite side of the room. Jake and I watched each other, wide-eyed. I don't know who was more surprised about Jake seeing my little fantasy. Me, who never thought he'd even be able to see it if he tried, or Jake, who didn't have any idea that I fantasized about stuff like that in the first place. How had he seen it? Then it hit me.
I was asleep. Vulnerable. Gifted vampire family or not, all he had to do was rest my hand against his face. Being unconscious, I couldn't have stopped him. The room was so silent that you could hear a needle drop.
"Nessie, what-" Before Jake got a chance to finish, I ran as fast as I could out of the house. Very smooth. I tore through anything that blocked my way. I ran out of the house barefoot. Grabbing my shoes would've taken too long. I practically ripped the car door off while trying to open it.
"Nessie!" Jake called, running outside. I fumbled around for keys, only to realize that I left them in the house.
"Go back inside," I practically shrieked.
"Ness, wait! I-" I freaked out when I heard his voice getting closer. I panicked and decided to run for it. I heard Jake give a yell of frustration behind me, aggravated with my tendency to run away from any problem between us. Whatever. It's not like he's proved himself to be great at handling confrontation.
I had almost made it to the forest when a massive russet wolf cut me off. I stopped dead in my tracks. He was panting, standing his ground defensively. I looked him dead in the eye before trying to maneuver around him. He blocked me. I growled.
"Jake," I bit out. "Let. Me. Go."
He snorted aloud, whipping his head back and forth. I feigned a moved left, and he growled. It was my turn to scream in frustration. He was seriously dancing on my last nerve. I have a very strong fight or flight instinct. Jake was taking my usual route, flight, off the table. There was only one option left. Fight.
"What do you want, Jake," I yelled. He glared at me.
"Ha, yeah. I forgot. You can't talk. You're in big bad wolf mode. Do you get a kick out of cornering innocent lil' red?"
He snarled before phasing back. Suddenly he was in my face. And naked. So very distractingly naked. I was taken aback, but Jake's attitude was enough to keep me from ogling him.
"We both know that you're not exactly innocent little red, Ness," He growled. I snarled back.
"You're finally realizing that? Wow, Jake. Gold star for getting your head out of your ass!"
"Get off your high fucking horse, Renesmee."
"My high horse? What his God's name makes you think I'm the one acting all high and mighty? I did nothing wrong! The hell is your problem, Jake?"
"My problem? My problem is that you showed me that and then you just run off-"
"Showed you? I fucking showed you?! You forced your way in my head, Jake! You violated my fucking privacy," I screamed.
Jake fell silent. He knew that I was right. It was my turn to get in his face. I shoved him square in the chest, and he stumbled back.
"Why the fuck did you even do that, Jacob? My dreams, whatever they may be about, are personal! You had no right to see it!"
"Oh," Jake said, regaining his footing. "It looked like I was pretty involved."
I slapped him. Hard. The kind of slap that required full body movement. I slapped him with similar form to a tennis player swinging their racket. A twist of the torso as my right heel lifted, toe pointing as my leg extended. If Jake wasn't as strong as he was, his jaw would've been dislocated.
"What. The. Fuck," He yelled. He stepped forward, backing me up against a tree. I hissed.
"Don't you dare talk to me like shit. You're just as guilty as me of this."
Great. I didn't even know what I was saying anymore. I would accuse him of anything to win this argument. I was almost about to take it back, when I noticed the way his entire body stiffened. It was only a millisecond, but that was all I needed to fuel my flame.
"I'm not guilty of anything."
"Oh, really? You know what's weird, Jake? The way my room smelled when I got home yesterday." He froze, horrified. Now it was his turn to be in the hot seat.
"It smelled like you, Jake."
"I missed you, Ness," He mumbled, looking down. "Being in your room made it feel like you were there."
I almost melted. But I couldn't turn into a puddle at his feet just because he said something extremely sweet. There was more to his scent than just being in my room.
"You missed me? Or my bed? Because that's where the smell was strongest. Your smell. And another smell that I couldn't quite identify. But now, I think I know what it was."
"Nessie," Jake warned.
"Sex." Jake turned away from me, jaw flexing. I pivoted into his line of sight, stand chest to chest against him. Something there, in his eyes, shocked me. Suddenly, everything fell in place. The awkwardness between us. The way Jake looked at me when he didn't think I was watching him. (I was always watching him.) The way he'd fidget in discomfort when someone mentioned sex. His insane jealousy over Seth a couple weeks ago. How he refused to let go of his newfound knowledge of my attraction to him. Jacob Black wanted me. Sexually.
"Did you think of me? When you were in my room, touching yourself?"
"Renesmee," He hissed menacingly.
"What? Are you embarrassed that a six-year-old turns you on?"
"From what I smell, you're the one who's turned on," He growled in my ear. Shivered erupted all over my body, goosebumps covering my skin. I was wet. So incredibly wet.
"Is that why you followed me up to your room? Because you knew how wet I was for you? Do you like how I smell, Jake," I purred in his ear, trying to lure him out of his bravado. I just wanted him to admit it. That he wanted me back. I wanted validation after two years of yearning. But, alas. Jake wouldn't give in. I flinched when his fist flew past my face to smash the tree behind me. Splinters flew through the air at deadly speed.
"Damn it, Ness! Why are you doing this," He yelled. My lips quirked to throw out one of my typical witty retorts, but he cut me off.
"If I'd have known, I never would've…" He trailed off.
Never would've what? Peaked in on my dream? Invited me over today? Spent so much time with me? Gotten to know me at all? Did he regret our entire relationship? My smart remark died on my lips, and my eyes stung. And then I was crying. Tears did not delicately brim in my eyes. They poured over and streamed down my face. Great. I was now sobbing. I didn't know rejection could hurt so badly. I stepped away from him.
"Ness, stop. Please. I don't even know even know what I was trying to say. I-"
"We both knew, Jake," I interrupted. I spun to face him. "We were just in denial. Leave me alone, and forget it ever happened," I practically whispered, jumping up to the nearest tree branch. I started climbing in an attempt to get away from him. He was undeterred, throwing on his spare shorts and climbing after me.
"How could I forget that, Ness? Fuck, I just-"
"You just what, Jake?"
"I just want things to go back to how they used be! I'm not ready for this, Ness. You're…"
"I'm what, Jacob?" I wiped at the tears that flooded my eyes as I edged away from him. He stared at me, stricken.
"I don't know, Ness. Different, I guess?" Silence. I got his meaning. I wasn't his Nessie. I was someone else.
"Do you hate me now, Jake?" He looked shocked at the insinuation.
"Of course not, Ness. I couldn't hate you if I tried. I… You and I are… You're my-"
"I'm your what, Jake?" Best friend. I knew that's what he'd say. I braced myself for the sting of his words.
Jake started moving towards me, very slowly and deliberately. I scooted away, but my back hit the tree trunk. I was stuck. He stared into my eyes as he leaned in, hovering above me until his face was a mere inch away from mine. Heart racing, I pushed him away and turned to stare at the ground. I refused to let him confuse me like this. I wouldn't get my hopes up at the prospect of him kissing me for the second time.
"You're my imprint, Renesmee." Jake murmured. I halted, and my head whipped up so I could gawk at him in shock.
There are many things I could've done at that moment. I could've swooned, or grabbed his shirt and kissed him, or started bawling out of pure, unadulterated happiness. Perhaps a combination of all three. Instead, I did something that I guarantee you Jake was not expecting. I knocked him the fuck out of that tree.
A/N: Ha ha! Someone successfully pwns Jake! I am now complete. Please review and give me opinions for the next chapter! I really love all of the feedback I'm getting. Thank you to all of my lovely readers! :)
