Seven Deadly Sinners
[GREED]
"So, where are we gonna start, Ashley?"
"Don't call me that." Pride says automatically, as if he knows that it won't work, but feels obligated to warn me not to anyways. "I was thinking a café."
"A café? Why?" I ask, folding my arms.
"Because there's nothing like a cup o' Joe to get you thinking straight."
With that, the stupid Bandit walks off, not even waiting for me. I sigh and roll my eyes. I don't get his reason, but as long as he's paying, I don't really mind getting some coffee.
We reach a dingy old café a couple blocks down the road, and we walk towards the counter. A greasy looking guy with acne covering his face asks us what we would like.
"You got money?" Pride quickly asks me.
"Sorry, I must have dropped my wallet on the way to Hell." I answer, pulling my pockets inside-out to prove that I don't have any cash.
He sighs and turns back to the cashier, and I smirk. Dumb bastard must have forgotten that Koopas can store things in their shells, too.
"You'd better be glad I'm willing to buy you one."
I respond by shooting him a sarcastic smile and response. "Aw, chivalry isn't dead."
After getting our drinks, we take a seat across from each other at a table.
"So, let's get down to business." Pride says officially. "We need to gather information on people and find out who our targets could be."
"Yeah, that'll be really easy." I scoff. "We'd probably have better luck just going on a murder spree and killing everyone we come across in hopes that we get someone right. I can already see the headline: 'Group of Seven Crazed Psychopaths Ravage the City in the Name of a Satanic Clown'."
I expect our dear Ashley to glare at me and be his usual asshole self, but I find that he's tapping his chin, thinking.
"Don't think too hard." I say. "You're brain might combust from the sheer stress."
"Oh, shut up." he snaps. "But what you said, headlines...we should check the news, see if we can get any leads from that."
I shrug. "Whatever. I guess that's as good a plan as any."
I glance around and conveniently spot one of those metal boxes where you pop a coin in and it opens up to give you a newspaper. I stand and walk over to the newspaper machine. Now, you wouldn't want to do this in public since I'm sure it's a bit illegal, but it's quite easy to unlock these things without paying their little fee. Simply take something thin and small that can fit into the lock, like, say, a hairpin, jimmy it around a bit, and, voila! You've just earned yourself today's black and white scoop, free of charge!
Never one to spend anything when there are much easier and free ways of obtaining something, I do this. I almost give a small chuckle of victory as I grab the paper at the top of the pile and let the lid drop back into place. Not today, Mushroom City Times.
I return to the table and drop the paper in front of Pride.
"Not exactly orthodox, but whatever." he says, already perusing the front page. "But you're lucky nobody noticed you."
I sit back and take a sip of my coffee. I grimace a bit at the taste. Way too bitter. But at least it was free, and that thought alone helps to sweeten the drink slightly.
"Hm, here's something." Pride mutters, and turns the paper so that I can see what he's looking at. He's pointing at a photo of some Toad. Judging by the ash covering his face and burning building in the background, it appears that he's just escaped a raging inferno. However, instead of looking worn and scared, a bright smile is plastered on his face.
"Jonathan Brollett, 29." Pride says, turning the paper around again and scanning over the words quickly. "It says here that he was just walking down the street on his way to work when he happened to pass by a home on fire. Other people were gathered around outside, and they told him that they had already called the fire department, but that there were still two kids trapped inside. He apparently charged in and came back out a couple of minutes later, a kid under each arm. The firefighters cleaned up the mess a bit later, but they stated that, without Jonathan's early assistance, the children may have very well died."
"So? What's so special about some local hero?"
"Apparently, this wasn't his first act of heroism. He's done all sorts of good deeds: performing CPR on people going into cardiac arrest, rescuing drowning people, pulling car crash victims out of horrible wrecks. He's even delivered a freaking baby while he and some pregnant lady got trapped in a stuck elevator!"
"What? That's bullshit. How can someone like that even exist? Especially in this shitty city?"
Pride shrugs. "I don't believe anything I don't see with my own eyes, but apparently this is all true. This guy is a genuine hero."
"Hm. Well, it's our new job to take out the goodiest of do-gooders, and this guy sounds like he's at the top of our list. Think he's one of the Virtuous?"
Pride puts down the paper and stares at me. "The Virtuous?"
"Yeah, Virtuous. That's the opposite of what we are, right? I mean, we're all named after the Seven Deadly Sins. So it's logical that the seven people we have to hunt down represent the Seven Holy Virtues. You know, Chastity, Temperance, Charity, Diligence, Patience, Kindness, and Humility. We're the Sinners, and they're the Virtuous."
Pride raises the paper again and keeps reading. "Well, I guess we'll use your little theory or whatever to identify them and such. So, yeah, according to that, I'm guessing that this guy could be Kindness." Pride puts down the newspaper and gives me a devilish smirk. "Looks like we have our first target."
"Uh, maybe."
"What do you mean 'maybe'?"
"Well..." Ugh, I hate sounding like a sissy, but, dammit, it bothers me! "...he could just be a regular guy, you know? Like, an NPC in a video game. Someone who isn't any of our concern."
"You don't think he's our target?"
"Well, it seems pretty convincing. I mean, nobody in this city, hell, maybe the WORLD, is Kind enough to risk their life charging into burning buildings or saving drowning people purely out of the goodness of their heart. This guy could be Kindness, but...what if he isn't? Would it really sit right with you, killing an innocent man?"
Pride sighs and looks off to the side, staring out the window. After a moment, as if he's found the right words that he's been searching for, he looks back at me. "When you think about it, all of the people we're gonna kill are innocent. Seven heroes and do-gooders like Jonathan will fall by our hands. They won't ask for death, and if they're really so saintly, they won't deserve it either. But, nevertheless, it's our job to off them, one by one. All for the sick amusement of some deranged, magical clown. Or to further whatever sinister plans he has. Hell, I don't know, and I don't think I ever will."
Suddenly, Pride slams a fist onto the table, and I jump about a foot, barely suppressing a gasp. His gaze is fixed on his mug of coffee, and as he stares into the brown liquid, he speaks slowly and quietly, his face contorted into an expression of anguish.
"But whatever the case, I am NOT going to fail to take their lives. That place...those things...will NOT become my new reality. I won't allow myself to be dragged to Hell so easily..."
Pride falls silent, so I take the opportunity to speak.
"Okay," I sigh. "We'll check out this Jonathan guy. If we're sure he's one of the Virtuous, we'll deal with him. If not...well, we'll have to figure something else out, then, I suppose. Sound good?"
He nods weakly, resting his head on a hand. "Yeah, sure..."
Sighing, I down the rest of my charcoal black coffee and pocket a few of the sugar packets at the table for later. You know, just in case I need sugar for something. Plus, it's free.
I stand up and look down at Pride. I don't know what the hell comes over me, but I find myself offering him a hand. He seems just as surprised by the gesture as I do.
Now, don't go thinking I'm all mushy or that I have feelings for the jerk or anything! It's just...he looked so pitiful and broken, and I couldn't stand watching him worry over the thought of spending even a moment in Hell. Plus, his worrying about it was reminding me of that little glimpse Dimentio let us see of the netherworld, and my stomach was churning as that memory resurfaced.
Pride's face hardens a bit and he nods stiffly. Taking my hand, I help pull him out of his seat, and, once he's up, he gives my hand a little shake.
"Let's do this." he says, his voice full of resolve, determination.
"Yeah." I agree.
Pride leads the way out of the café, and, after pocketing the coin I managed to slip out of his pocket while he shook my hand, I follow him out.
