If it was all a dream, InuYasha didn't want to wake up. He wanted to keep dreaming, keep his arms around his daughter, hold her, make her tears go away. It would be truly cruel if he were yanked away from the little being he held against his chest. Kami, he wouldn't be able to bear that.
He'd knelt with Tamako for what seemed like forever, but still wasn't long enough for him. Slowly though, he stood, bringing her against his chest and cradling her there, refusing to let her go. Golden eyes looked up to Souta, who still stared at them.
"Wheres Kagome?" InuYasha asked as he held his daughter.
The look on Soutas face...what was that? Sadness? Guilt? Depression? Souta could barely look at InuYasha in that moment.
"What? Souta...where is Kagome?"
Souta's mouth opened to form the words he dreaded to say, but it was Tamako's small voice that whined out "Mama's gone to heaven."
The words coming from his daughters lips tore his heart apart. His eyes widened as he looked at her, and then back up to Souta, a small growl rising in his throat. "What is she talking about, Souta?" he growled. Because of the little girl, he refrained himself from his normal language that he knew Kagome would scold him for using around their child. She would be proud of him.
But, Souta only nodded a little. "She's gone, InuYasha...has been for four years now..." he said in a small voice. Souta still couldn't believe his only sister was just gone, taken away from them. But, it seemed, InuYasha was in even greater disbelief.
Growling rose in his throat, shaking his head a little as he turned quickly, walking towards the Higurashi residence.
It can't be true. She wouldn't leave Tamako alone. She wouldn't leave me like that either...she had to know I would come for her.
But he still didn't know how it had happened. Why now did the well decide to let him take a leap into the future?
Walking into the house, he moved to open the door with one hand, holding Tamako in his other arm securely. Stepping up inside the house, the aroma of cooking food filling his senses. Mrs. Higurashi sure knew how to cook, that was for sure. Through all of the smells, though, he could not smell hers, the one he most desperately looked for.
Not even saying to the startled Mrs. Higurashi, he quickly walked upstairs, Tamako in hand, towards Kagome's bedroom. It had to be a joke, some kind of sick, twisted joke. Throwing open the bedroom door that he knew belonged to his beloved, he stood in shock as he looked inside.
It was the same room alright, it had all of the same things, her same bed, desk. But something was different. There were toys everywhere, coloring books sat upon the desk, different pictures around the room. It wasn't Kagome's room anymore.
"Its my room, Otou-san..." Tamako said timidly as she looked up from her fathers shoulder, small fingers wiping her eyes a little. "Obaachan said it used to belong to mama. She said I can have it." she told her father, looking up at him. One hand reached to the desk, squirming a little. "Papaaaa, over there. I wanna show you something." she said to him.
In his shock, InuYasha could barely hear the childs words. Slowly moving to the bed to sit on it, loosening his hold on the little girl as she squirmed.
Was Kagome really gone? Could this really have happened?
Tamako squirmed from her fathers lap, crawling to her desk and opening up the drawer, taking out a line of pictures. Crawling quickly back to settle on her fathers lap, holding the pictures to show him. It was the same pictures that had been taken of InuYasha and Kagome in the photo booth before the battle with Kaguya. The same ones Kagome herself held years prior. "Obaachan gave this to me. She said it was the only ones with you and mama. Its my favorite..." she said, leaning her head on her fathers chest, looking at them. Slowly reaching into her shirt to take out a golden heart shaped locket, opening it and showing copies of the same pictures were within the locket. "And...and she made this for me too." she told him.
Looking down at the images, InuYasha chuckled a little. He remembered that day. She'd sat him right in the photo booth. But he had only been trying to protect her from the evil thing that was making all that noise. "Thats very nice Tamako..." he said, moving to hug her slowly, looking down at her.
He had so many questions, but she was not the one to ask them. His head was spinning, begging to know the answers.
His ears twitched, hearing someone approach the door. Looking up to see Mrs. Higurashi standing there, looking at him with sadness in her eyes. As she approached, he sat up a little more, holding Tamako closely to him.
"Tamako...can you go downstairs for a little while? I need to talk to your Otousan for a minute alone."
At these words from Mrs. Higurashi's lips, InuYasha clutched his daughter a bit more, but not enough to break her. He would not, could not give up his daughter, his little piece of Kagome. Not even to Mrs. Higurashi's suggestion. But, one look at her reassured eyes, he nodded a little, kissing the top of Tamako's head slowly, longingly.
"Its alright, Tamako...I'll come downstairs in a minute, I promise. I'll never leave you again." he whispered to her. Letting her slide off his lap before walking out of the room. Looking up at his daughters face, smiling softly to her to reassure her when she'd glanced back at him. And, just like that, she was gone. Hearing her tiny footsteps go down the stairs, he let out a sigh. He missed her already. But he needed his answers.
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InuYasha found himself in Mrs. Higurashi's bedroom, even though he had rather stayed in Kagome/Tamako's. She insisted he needed to see something within this room. Looking at her as she knelt down to slide a long container from underneath her bed, putting it atop of the bed. His eyes shifted, reading the words that were written in marker ontop of the container.
'For InuYasha.'
It was for him? That quickly sparked his interest. Stepping towards the bed a little, glancing at Mrs. Higurashi, seeing her nod a little, almost answering his question. Looking back down at the box as she moved to open it and put the lid aside.
"Kagome put this together for you. She insisted you would want to see these things. She was always convinced you'd be back and upset that you had not been around for her pregnancy. She wanted you to see these things..." she said, a hint of sadness in her voice as tears started to well up in her eyes.
"How did it happen?" he found himself asking, needing to know.
Looking up at him, it was obvious that Mrs. Higurashi was pained from the memory. "Giving birth. She...she couldn't do it in a hospital. We didn't know if the baby would have your ears or anything else because it was part youkai. So, she insisted on having her here, in her bedroom..." she started, tears starting to move down her cheeks. InuYasha rarely ever saw the woman this upset, and he could understand why as he was fighting back his own tears.
"She loved that baby more than anything, though. When the well sealed...it was like...it was like a piece of her was sealed away inside it, too. She was so depressed. Going through the motions but not really...feeling much. And then she found out she was pregnant. It was like...new life was breathed into her. She kept saying how she had a piece of you with her, forever. She was so excited." she continued, sighing a little before stepping back, looking at him. "The things in this box are for you. They're yours. I suppose she was right...you did come back for them. Tamako is your daughter, and Kagome gave her life to have her..." she said.
Looking up at the hanyou that stood before her, Mrs. Higurashi could see the sadness in his eyes, how torn he was. "Oh...before I forget. Tamako...she was born with your ears.." she started, this peaking InuYasha's interest. "Kagome...she did something. Before Tamako was born, Kagome knew there was a chance. So, she used her powers to make a shield for her. She wears a necklace around her neck. Not the locket, but a different one, and it keeps them hidden. Sort of a energized charm sort of thing. It protects her in this world..."
His eyes seemed to move from her to the box on the bed. She only nodded, and he heard her say something about how she'd leave him to the box, and that it might explain things better than she could, before she took her leave. Slowly stepping up to the box in front of him, InuYasha looked down at the contents.
There were so many things within it! Pictures, notes, clothes, everything. Picking up a picture of a very pregnant Kagome, his lips curled into a soft smile. She looked gorgeous even that pregnant. Running his fingers along the picture a little, he sighed, kneeling down on the floor just by the bed.
If only I'd been there...
Just that morning he hadn't thought he could miss her anymore than he already did. His heart ached for her, longed to hold her again. But now, it was just broken to find out she was gone for good.
Guilt washed over him. He should have been there for her, it was his fault that she was dead. He did get her pregnant, which led to the ending of her life. Of course..the life she brought into this world was the second best thing to ever happen to him. He had only known her for a short few minutes, but he instantly felt as though his heart were walking around outside his body within that small little girl. Some say mothers only get that feeling, but he definitely got it. Even now, he yearned to hold her, talk to her, ask her so many questions about herself. He had always longed to have a pup with Kagome...but in his mind, he had been there for the birth, Kagome had been okay, and he watched their pups grow up from the instant they were born.
Sighing, he put the picture down into the box and looked at more, finding two small books. One of them had writing in it, and the other had pictures. So, he decided to look over the pictures first before he read whatever was within the other book. Flipping through the pages slowly, his fingers tracing Kagome's face in each one that she was in, moving over the carefully written words underneath each picture. There were even several sonogram pictures, which confused him. What were they supposed to be? But, good ol' Kagome knew he wouldn't know, so she wrote descriptions underneath, telling him that these were pictures of their baby while she was still in Kagome's stomach. The marvels of this world never ceased to amaze him.
When he was finished with that book, then he cracked open the other. The other one seemed like a journal, written in Kagome's own handwriting.
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Kagome's Journal
Entry #1 -
Dear Inuyasha,
This may seem silly to write these letters to you in this journal. But, I can't help it. I am just so excited, and so scared at the same time. It helps me to write these to you, hoping I'm actually talking to you. Wishful thinking, I know. But, I'd just found out I was pregnant, and I can't help but be afraid.
I keep picturing a little boy with your hair and your eyes...and those cute little ears that I love so much. I keep picturing a mini-you. That makes my heart feel better, to know that is inside me, and that I already love this baby more than words can say.
Of course, I love you too. I try the well just about every day still. You don't even know about the baby...that must be killing you after you found out. I have no idea when you'll be back, but you will be, I know it. One day you'll waltz back into our lives and whisk me and our baby away back to our home in the Feudal Era. But, I know you'll be back. And if you missed the birth of our first child, then I know you're beating yourself up over it. Here I am, let me tell you, it is not your fault. The well sealed up, that is in no way your fault. Please, promise me, right now while you're reading this, that you won't take the blame for missing out on the birth of our first child, or any of my pregnancy. Promise me you'll only be happy in the memories we will create as a family upon your return. You always have a way of taking things onto yourself, and I wish you wouldn't.
I love you, no matter what,
Kagome.
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Inuyasha sat on the floor, reading that entry. How had Kagome known he would blame himself? Oh he blamed himself for more than she was writing. However, she hadn't really known what would happen...that she wouldn't make it through the birth of their child. That she wouldn't get to see their child grow up.
It pained him almost to tears. He was not a man that cried easily. Hell, he'd always said men don't cry. Only once before had he been caught crying, when he thought he'd lost her forever. And now that he actually had lost her forever, the fresh tears welled up in his eyes, starting to move down his cheeks.
"Otouuu-?" a small voice said from the doorway, making Inuyasha's head peak up, looking up at the small girl standing at the doorway of her grandmothers bedroom. Something was different about her now, though. Two deep silver dog ears sat atop of her head instead of her human ones. Mrs. Higurashi must have taken off the concealment necklace. And, looking at his daughter in that moment, he knew without a doubt she was his, and she was in fact a manifestation of his heart running around outside of his body.
A soft smile left his lips as he sat back more on the floor, his back against the bed, opening his arms for Tamako to join him. Which, she quickly did. Running up to her father, she threw herself into his arms, cuddling close to him as she sat in his lap. His arm encircled her softly, bringing her to his chest.
"Otouu, whatcha readin?" she asked in a goofy four year old manner, looking down at the book in his lap. She couldn't read yet, so they all looked like symbols on a piece of paper.
When she called him that - Otou, his heart almost skipped a beat. Just that word, to actually be someones father, was beyond amazing to him. Softly kissing her head as he held her, smiling to her. "Its something your Okaa wrote for me. Its all about when you were still in her tummy. She loved you very much you know...and so do I." he told her. He wasn't the type of man to wear his heart on his sleeve. But, something about his own little girl just brought that out of him, the same way her mother did.
Looking up at him with her brownish gold eyes in an amazed fashion, her mouth dropping open in an -o shape. "Okaa wrote it? Its about me?" she asked, cuddling into him and looking down at the book. "I miss Okaa. I wish I knew her..." she muttered in a soft voice, almost too soft for human ears, but Inuyasha's had no trouble picking them up. "How did you meet mama, Otouu?" she asked softly.
A smile formed on Inuyasha's lips when she asked that, shaking his head. "I met her a long, long time ago...in my time. You see, your okaa went down into that well in the well house and came out on my time. I was stuck to the Goshinboku and your okaa saved me." he started, re-telling the story of how they'd met to the four year old in his lap quietly.
He never liked children, not once in his life. But...this one tugged at his heart, made him open up to her and talk to her. She was easily the second best thing to ever happen to him. Even with how upset he was about what had happened to Kagome, this little girl was able to walk into the room and make his sadness disappear just with the sound of her voice. Only one other person could have done that, and that was the childs mother herself.
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