CHAPTER 3

Amber had a nerve-breaking day with a billion things occupying her mind.

First of all, she was angry with herself. The father of her child was back yet she felt everything but the joy. It felt so selfish, her son finally had a father but she was too occupied by thinking about herself to be happy for him, the one who mattered the most.

Then there was Jay. She felt guilty – she was with him, she loved him, yet her heart went crazy when she only thought of another man. No matter how much she tried to rationalize to herself that it was the right thing, they after all had a child together, she still felt guilty.

Amber felt confused. Not because of all the questions Bray's return possessed, but because of her feelings. She hadn't lied when she had talked to Jay – she didn't know what Bray being back meant. Back in the city things had been so obvious. She had known that if Bray had never got taken, she would have been with him. No doubt. Not just because of the baby; she had loved Bray with all her heart. She had never thought of another man when she had been with him. It had always been Bray.

She did knew one thing, though – what kind of future the two of them had, also depended on Bray. How he felt. And that was another thing she couldn't get out of her head.

Emma

From all the questions she had asked about Bray and from all the concern she had shown, Amber knew they were close.

How close, that was the question.

After spending the whole day making herself crazy with one insane theory after another, Amber finally had enough.

But when she was spending just a few meters from Emma, she started doubting her decision. She could find out something she didn't want to hear. And, after all, it wasn't her business.

She was really close to walking away when Emma herself prevented her.

"Hello."

"How did you know I was standing here?" Amber asked, confused.

"Just because I'm blind, I'm not incompetent."

A young boy, Emma's brother, Amber was quite sure his name was Shannon, approached. Tiffany was looking at them as well.

Amber wanted to speak up, but Emma was once again faster.

"It's ok, Shannon."

The boy slowly nodded. Together with his younger sister he sat down under the nearest palm tree.

"I'm Emma. You can sit down if you want."

"I'm Amber."

"Ah, you're the leader," Emma smiled.

"Yeah, I guess I am."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Saving us?"

"Oh," laughed Amber. She had almost managed to forget how their paths had crossed. "No need to say thanks, really."

"It is … How is he?"

"Bray?"

"Yes. I've been trying to find out but nobody seems to really know …"

There was something about Emma, Amber couldn't deny it. She was stunned by Emma's independence, how she managed not only to survive, but also to raise her siblings despite her blindness. Amber couldn't help but to admire her. And she knew Bray must have been impressed but her as well.

"He's still unconscious. He's ... in a bad shape."

"But he will be alright?"

"He should be, yes."

Amber dreaded to think otherwise; him slipping away shortly after returning … she shook her head to make dark clouds go away.

"Do you know what happened to him?"

"The Fallen came … they traded us with this other tribe, on the oil rig where you found us …"

They … They were together, when they got taken. Amber couldn't help but to feel the tsunami of jealousy.

"And they, on the oil rig, hurt him?"

"They must have. He wasn't cooperating. They separated him from us."

Amber had to smile at the thought of Bray resisting Blake's forces. That was a man she knew. Loved.

"That sounds like him."

"You know him?"

"Yes, I do," she nodded, still with the craziest smile. Maybe it was a good thing Emma couldn't see it.

"Well?"

"Yes. Bray never … spoke of me?"

"No. he never spoke much about himself."

"Not even about Mallrats?"

"Oh, so he's one of you?"

"Yes, he was."

Amber was never good at hiding her feelings. Especially when it came to Bray. Way back, before they had ever got together, she had always felt her face blushing when he had been around. She couldn't keep her eyes of him, always looking for him with her eyes.

Now her voice spoke for itself. She felt as she had got a punch into her stomach. Bray never talking about her … she knew it probably didn't mean anything, but she couldn't deny disappointment. Feeling hurt. Had he given up on her, their baby? Had she been the only one longing for them to be reunited, someday, somewhere, somehow?

"So you came to save him?"

"Not … him. We didn't even know he was still alive. We thought he was dead."

"Maybe he thought the same. That you were dead and that's why he never spoke of you," Emma suggested.

"Maybe, yeah. Maybe he did," whispered Amber.

Maybe Emma really had lost her eyesight but over time she had learned how to use other senses to notice things. Little factors others weren't careful about. Slight change in someone's voice could tell a lot. Emma often saw more than people with 20/20 vision. Therefore it wasn't very hard for her to realize Amber was head over heels in love with Bray.

"He's got an incredible will to survive, though."

"He's a survivor," said Amber.

"Or maybe he's had a great reason to," Emma replied, smiling to Amber.

It was hard to keep track of the flying time. The setting sun still took them by surprise even though it was now not days but weeks since they had ended up on the tropical island.

Brady really took an advantage of being on the island. She spent days running around, whether on the beach or around the Camp Phoenix. She was constantly looking for a companion and it left Trudy exhausted at the end of the day.

Tonight was no different. Little girl finally ran out of energy right in the middle of Sammy's storytelling and it was up to Trudy to take her to bed.

While tucking her in, Trudy noticed Amber who was sitting nearby. She kissed her daughter's forehead and walked towards her friend. Lex's snoring was echoing around Camp Phoenix but Trudy was quite sure he wasn't the one who kept Amber wake.

Amber gave Trudy a slight smile when she sat down next to her.

"You've been so distant today," said Trudy.

"I have, haven't I?"

"It's so … surreal, isn't it?"

"Among other things."

Both of them went silent. It was a beautiful night; the sky was filled with stars. As angels they were looking, watching over them. Trudy believed stars were souls of all the people she had lost during her life. Not too long ago, she had thought Bray was one of them. She had believed she had known what had happened to him. He had been taken during the Techno invasion and later killed. Yet now everything had turned out to be a lie.

"But … what happened? Didn't Jay tell you that Bray was dead?"

Amber sighed as Trudy mentioned that day.

"Well I guess we can conclude that Technos were lying. I can't believe I'm actually surprised."

Lex's snoring stopped for a moment as Trudy looked at her friend.

"You think Jay lied to you?"

"I don't know what I'm thinking, Trudy," said Amber while trying to fight off the tears. "But, no, I don't think Jay lied to me."

"Amber, to be honest … I was never convinced of Jay's words."

"Yeah?"

Amber crossed her arms. Even though they were on a tropical island, it still got chilly at night.

"It seemed too simple. To take so many people just to … kill them."

"I always assumed it had something to do with experimenting."

"Well, no need for dark thoughts now!" Trudy exclaimed and smiled as if the words could fight off Amber's gloomy expression. "He's here. I am so happy."

"Yeah, me too," Amber nodded but Trudy could see through her mask.

"You don't sound too happy."

Amber's eyes drifted around camp.

"Trudy I am so…"

"Confused?" Trudy suggested.

"Yeah. Confused. Bray's alive, Jay's here …"

"Oh, Jay," Trudy rolled her eyes. It was so typical of Amber, to overlook the big picture and create problems where there weren't any.

"I must sound like such a cow right now. I took Jay from you and now I'm all crazy about some other guy."

"It's not just some other guy, Amber! It's Bray! I would be worried if you weren't crazy about him!"

"Yeah, BJ now finally has a father …" Amber sighed.

"See, it's a win win in every possible way!"

"No, it's not. Jay..."

"If Jay really loves you, he'll understand," Trudy interrupted her. She couldn't deny it, she was rooting for Bray and Amber to get back together. Not just because of their baby or because she believed they belong together - it was also because of Jay. It still affected Trudy, how he had used her to get to Amber. She would love to see him lose her now. Then he would probably know a bit better how he had hurt her.

"And I know you know this too, Amber. So it must be something else bugging you."

"You read me like a book, Amber smiled. "Trudy, I know how silly it will sound but … when Bray finds out about Jay … about me being with Jay, do you think he will be angry?"

Trudy's thought drifted way back, to the time when Amber had been with Sasha. How annoying and sulky Bray had been. So out of control, Trudy had seen it first hand how the love he had felt for Amber made him crazy.

But it had been such a long time ago; they had been only kids trying to survive. Trudy had been around when Bray had lost Amber – she could see how much the time he had spent with her changed him. He hadn't been the kid who hadn't got what he had wanted anymore.

She couldn't help but to smile at Amber.

"Bray won't blame you, Amber. He knows how it feels, losing the one you love. Plus, don't you think he'll be too occupied by his son?"

Amber had to smile when she pictured it in her mind; the two men she loved, that were most important to her, finally meeting each other.

"Yeah," she turned to Trudy. "Thank you. Just talking to you makes me feel much better."

"Any time girl," replied Trudy and accepted the hug.

The baby was restless.

It was late and Amber wanted to go to sleep but she couldn't get her son to calm down. Jay at first had been at her side but quickly decided that his beauty sleep was more important.

Amber tried everything – telling little baby a story, walking around with him in her arms, bringing him food, Trudy even sang to him. Some of the native girls brought some weird smelling juice but Amber declined as politely as she could, not being sure what was in it.

"The toys, we could give him some toys," Trudy suggested while trying to hide her yawning.

"Yeah, but I have no idea where I left it!" Amber said, irritated.

"You didn't leave it at the beach; I would have found it when I was looking for Brady."

"Well, then where is it?"

She looked around; hoping her lack of sleep had simply overlooked the toy, when she suddenly remembered.

"I must have left it in Bray's tent!" she said.

"Well, than go and pick it up!"

Amber knew Trudy wouldn't do it instead of her, so she simply nodded. She slowly walked towards Bray's tent. Even though Lia's medicine was effective and Bray's wounds were healing, the state he was in still hurt her. She decided to just pick up the toy and get out as quickly as possible, preferably not looking at him.

She entered, as silently as she could. Without turning to him she looked for the toy. It was nowhere to be seen.

"Where is it, then!" she whispered in despair. She sighed and it was only then that she realized his eyes were open.