Thanks for all the nice reviews! They definitely motivate me to try to make this story the best it can be. I am sorry to all the Conceivable fans. I am working on the next chapter...I promise. It will updated as soon as I can get the chapter done. It's about half-way there. This one is just coming more easily for me lately for some reason.
Anyway...I hope this chapter makes up for my lack of posting. I am back at work now, so I don't have any writing time. So annoying that I have to work for a living instead of writing fanfiction all day.
Enjoy!
The Next Morning…
The alarm seemed to go off forever before Olivia found the energy to reach over and push the button, forcing it's silence. She rolled over and stared at the clock, groaning when she realized it was time to wake up and not some random glitch in the clock that made it go off. She sat up, grabbing her glasses from the nightstand and looking at the clock once more. "Damn…" she sighed, pulling her tired body out of bed and paddling down the hall toward the bathroom.
A while later, she emerged from the bathroom, wrapped in a towel, her hair handing in wet ringlets down her neck. She opened her closet and sighed at the rows of clothes hanging in front of her. She didn't feel like wearing any of them. Everything felt uncomfortable lately…not too tight, but just bothersome. She wished she could go to work in sweats or yoga pants, but that wasn't an option so she grabbed some black slacks and slipped them on, buttoning them at the waist and mentally promising herself that she'd start eating better and working out again now that the lieutenant's exam was over. No excuses. She put her hand on her stomach and exhaled slowly, "I need this feeling to go away," she moaned. She didn't want to go to the doctor, but if the constant ache in her stomach didn't end soon she'd have no choice.
She walked into the next room, kneeling down and gently shaking Noah awake. He looked up at her with bright eyes and she smiled, amazed at how cheerful he was first thing in the morning. "Good morning," she picked him up and kissed him and she grinned back at her.
"Hungry Mama…" he said in his tiny voice, and she carried him into the kitchen and made him a bowl of cereal. "Yummy…" Noah giggled between bites and Olivia smiled. He was so grown up now and she couldn't help but tear up a little thinking about it. She couldn't imagine her life without this little person in it. "Mama…you eat…" Noah's voice brought her back from her thoughts and she poured some cereal for herself and took a bite.
"Mmmmm," she said with a wink, and Noah laughed while they finished their breakfast.
An hour later Olivia walked into the precinct, having left Noah at daycare, and dropped her bag on her desk. She looked at her phone, wondering why Brian hadn't called her yet. When he'd left the night before he promised to call and tell her where he was going and when he might be back. She knew they weren't in a serious relationship, but she could admit she missed him when he was gone. Plus his concerns over Tucker left her feeling nervous and unsure. She quickly scrolled through her contacts until she saw his name, and clicked it, waiting through the rings on the other end and rolling her eyes when his voicemail picked up. "Hey Bri, it's me," she sighed. "You never called…I guess I just wanted to check on you. I hope you made it wherever you were heading. Call me, okay." Then she turned on her computer and started on the mounds of paperwork she had to finish by the end of the day.
Around noon she heard her door squeak open and looked up, ready to argue with whomever had opened it without knocking, shocked to see Ed Tucker standing in front of her. "You don't knock?" she asked, trying not to look as intimidated as she felt.
"Didn't think I had to," he smirked, walking in and closing the door behind him. He sat down in front of her desk and smiled, "How have you been, Olivia? Things going well for you?"
"Things are fine," she said, taking a deep breath. "What do you want?"
"I thought maybe we could go to lunch," he suggested. "I need to talk to you about a personnel issue…and I'd rather not do it here."
"I'm not going to lunch with you," she said quickly. "You need to talk to me about one of my employees, you can do it right here. Is this about Rollins? Her pregnancy? Because I can assure you she's on desk duty and Carisi and Fin and I will pick up the slack until we find someone else to join the squad."
"Rollins is pregnant?" Tucker asked. "No…it's not about her. It's about you…and trust me…you want to have this conversation in private."
"This is private enough," Olivia felt her voice quiver and she knew he'd heard it as well when he smiled. "What's the issue?"
"Cassidy didn't tell you?" he asked, knowing full-well that he had.
"Tell me what?" Olivia tried to sound like she wasn't covering something and she knew she was failing. If only Brian had told her what he had on Tucker. Right now she wasn't sure what to say. "Why would Brian tell me anything?"
"Don't give me that," Tucker stood up and walked over to her side of the desk, towering over her and looked down. She stood up quickly, staring him in the eye and he put his hand on her shoulder, squeezing it a little too tight, "I know about you two…and it stops…now…"
"Get your hands off me," she grabbed his wrist and flung his arm. "And I don't know what you think you know…but there is nothing going on with me and Brian. And if there was, it would be none of your damn business."
"Oh trust me…" Tucker's eyes squinted with rage. "Everything is my business…and I will take care of it. If I were you, I'd stay away from him. He's a trouble-maker…and you don't want to be in the middle of his mess."
"And you…" Olivia's voice deepened with seriousness, "You don't want to mess with me."
Tucker laughed, reaching out and brushing her cheek with his hand, "Believe me," he sneered. "I'd never mess with you unless you wanted me to…" he winked at her and walked to the door.
Olivia watched him walk away, her body shaking and the taste of bile burning the back of her throat. She grabbed the waste basket by her desk and vomited, completely sickened by Tucker's visit. Her phone rang and she grabbed it, seeing Brian's name on the caller ID and answering it, "Bri…" she said, swallowing the sick lump in her throat and trying to hold in her fearful tears, "Where are you?"
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It was barely midnight, and the dark sky was lit with the bright flashing of police lights. The usually silent alleyway was plagued with sirens and voices, while a nervous crowd huddled around and stared at the scene before them. "What've we got?" a detective made his way through the crowd and ducked under the yellow police tape, walking up to his younger partner and looked at the crime scene with disgust. "This guy didn't stand a chance, did he?" He asked, staring down at the bloodied corpse.
"Nah…" the young detective looked at his partner. "Guy comes from out of town looking for a good time, and this is what he gets." He shook his head. "This strip club's been trouble since it opened here last summer. The folks in town are gonna have a fit over this."
"I doubt this has anything to do with the club," he looked at the body, face down on the ground with bullet holes in his head and back. "This looks personal."
"Yeah, someone who personally pissed off someone at the club," the younger detective sighed. "You've been here what? Four years? How many murders have you seen in that time? Stuff like this doesn't happen here…but now that the strip club is here…we've been called out for assaults, a rape…now murder."
"Yeah, I know," he ran his hand along the back of his neck and looked around at the staring crowd. Even after four years he still wasn't used to the town…how a small crime could cause commotion that even the grisliest of murders wouldn't cause in the city. A murder…behind the strip club…this was bound to cause a wave a panic to match no other. "Any ID on the victim?" he asked.
"Yep," the young partner handed him the wallet he'd taken from the victim's pocket and shook his head, "He's from New York City…don't know why the hell he was in our neck of the woods."
"Maybe he was visiting someone. Anything in the town rumor mill about out-of-town guests," he asked, but he opened up the wallet and looked at the license and gasped. "Oh shit…"
"What?" his partner asked.
"I know this guy," he shook his head sadly. "I used to work with him…years ago...in the city."
"He's a cop?" he asked nervously. "Why would someone from NYPD be here?"
"He used to be," the older detective looked through the wallet and found nothing more than a few dollars and the license. "I don't know if he still is. God…" he exhaled slowly. "Did you find a badge…his phone…anything else?" he noticed his partner's expression change to one of panic and he assumed it was the thought of trying to solve a cop's murder. No one in this small town could ever have imagined anything like this and truthfully their small police station wasn't equipped to deal with it. "Teddy…" he asked again. "Any other personal items?"
"Nothing," Teddy shook his head. "Just the wallet. You gonna call NYPD and see if he was still on their payroll?"
"No," he flipped the body over, staring into the man's face. Though he did recognize him, he bore little resemblance to the young kid he used to work with, but he knew the years hadn't been good to him either. "Damn…" he shook his head once more. "I guess I'll go to New York…see if he has a next of kin…maybe check out his place. See if he has family there…"
"You want me to go along," Teddy offered.
"No," he shook his head. "You stay here…check with everyone who was in the club. See if anyone saw him leave with someone. Wait for the ME's report and call me with any news. I'll be back in a day or two. I want to get there and back. The last thing I need is to run into anyone I know."
"Elliot…" Teddy said anxiously. "What do you think you'll find in New York? The crime happened here…seems pointless to go there."
"If he's still a cop…and he wasn't visiting someone here in town…" he sighed. "Then maybe he was on assignment. I know he used to work undercover a lot. He was a good cop…I doubt he was here for pleasure."
"What're you gonna tell his family?" Teddy asked.
"I don't know," Elliot answered. "Last time I saw him, he didn't have one. As far as I know, he could still be single. This is a Manhattan address though…kind of upscale. I just hope I can find the right words to break this to whoever is waiting for him to come home," he looked down at the body. "I hate this part of the job."
"Yeah," his partner said. "It's hard. Good luck."
He walked to his car, heading home to pack a bag. By morning, Elliot Stabler would be back in New York.
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Olivia was sitting on the edge of her bed pulling on her shoes when she heard the knock on the door. "Can you get that, Lucy?" she called into the next room where the nanny was playing with Noah. Since daycare was closed for the day, Olivia was grateful Lucy was dependable in a pinch. Normally Olivia would have been at work by now, but she'd tossed and turned all night thinking about the visit from Tucker the day before and her talk with Brian afterward. He'd told her he was on the verge of proving his suspicions about Tucker, and he'd been furious when Olivia told him about Tucker harassing her. He promised her that he'd take care of everything, and she knew he'd try. After thinking about all of it for most of the night, she'd overslept and woke up feeling like she'd been hit by a truck, so she was moving slowly this morning. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so sluggish. She just wanted Brian to get home. She needed to know he was safe and sound.
Lucy walked to the door, Noah situated on her hip and looked through the peep hole. She didn't recognize the man on the other side, so she didn't open the door. "Can I help you?" she asked instead.
"I need to speak with you please," he said, holding up his badge so she could see it through the peep hole and she opened the door. He looked at the young girl, carrying a child who couldn't have been more than two and he hated to break their hearts. "Are you Mrs. Cassidy?" he asked gently.
Lucy looked confused, "Who?" she asked. "I'm not sure who you're looking for. Maybe you have the wrong apartment."
"Do you know a Brian Cassidy?" he asked, relieved that this woman and little boy hadn't just lost the love of their lives, but wondering why this was the address in Brian's wallet.
"Yes, I've met him…" Lucy said, her face dropping as she realized he was there with bad news. "Uhm…let me get…my boss. She's in the bedroom. I'm just the nanny…"
"Oh…" Elliot said, realizing he still had bad news to break. "Yes, you should get her."
Lucy walked into the bedroom and Olivia smiled, standing to her feet, finally ready for the day. "Who was at the door?" she asked.
"A cop," Lucy said seriously. "He needs to talk to you."
"Really?" Olivia asked. "I'm late for work one day and they send someone over here to bother me…" She walked down the hall and into the living room, seeing the back of the man's head and clearing her throat, "I'm Sergeant Benson," she said. "Lucy said you needed to see me…"
He turned around and saw her, his mouth opening without words coming out, while her face seemed to turn various shades of green. "Liv…" he finally managed to sputter, while standing to his feet, but she didn't move. "Olivia…" he said again. "Are you okay?" She looked like she might faint and he ran to her side, grabbing her arm and leading her to the sofa. "Come sit down," he insisted and she listened without comment. "Liv…I didn't mean to shock you. I didn't know you lived here…"
"Why are you here?" she managed to say, the color returning to her face. "Four years, Elliot…it's been four years…"
"I know," he said. "I'm sorry…"
"Why are you here?" she asked again.
"I'm head detective…in a small town about three hours from here…tiny squad in a tiny town…" he forced a sad smile. "I'm here on a case…"
"A case?" she asked. "What case? You have a case connected to Manhattan SVU?"
"Liv…" he looked at the nanny, playing in the corner with the little boy…Olivia's little boy…and he didn't want to be the one to hurt her with this news, and yet he had no choice. "Liv…you and Cassidy…"
"What?" she asked. "What did Tucker do? I told him there is nothing between me and Brian…we broke up a long time ago…Did Tucker call you? I know he's a son of a bitch...but calling my old partner..."
"This address was on Brian's license," Elliot said, not fully understanding what she was talking about.
"Because we bought this place together…but he moved out…a long time ago, he just forgot to change his address on his license. He was joking about it the other day…" she insisted. "Wait…why do you have his license?" she gasped, "Oh God…what happened? Where is he?"
"Olivia…" Elliot said seriously, but she didn't let him finish.
"No…" she shook her head eagerly and stood up from where she was sitting and he rose to look her in the eye. "No…he's fine…I just talked to him yesterday. He said he'd be home today…"
"Liv…we found his body last night…" Elliot said sadly. "I'm so sorry…"
"He's undercover," she argued, unable to accept what he was saying. "El…"she cried, and she couldn't hide from the truth any longer. Elliot pulled her into an embrace and she leaned against his chest, sobbing.
"I'm sorry," he said again.
"Mama…" Noah's small voice called, worried by his mother's crying and Olivia looked down to see him standing right next to her. "Mama…don't cry…"
Lucy rushed over to get him, but Olivia knelt down and picked him up, "Mommy's okay, buddy," she said, holding him close. "I didn't mean to scare you."
"Liv, maybe the nanny can take him to the park or something," Elliot suggested. "So we can talk…"
She shook her head, "I have to get to work," she said, kissing Noah and handing him to Lucy.
"You're going to work?" he asked, confused. "Olivia…I just told you your ex…husband or boyfriend or whatever he was…that he died. Your son's father…"
She looked at Noah and back at Elliot, "You don't understand…"
"What?" he asked. "What don't I understand? Did he hurt you or something?"
"No…" Olivia said, anger in her voice. "He would never hurt me. God, Elliot…" she couldn't hold in her tears any longer. "I just…" she sniffled. "I can't do this now…" she cried. "I have to go to work."
"Olivia…" he tried to argue but he knew it was pointless. She was in denial and there was nothing he could do right now to bring her out of it. She'd done the same thing when her mother died. Olivia didn't grieve well. "Can you tell me where he lived? So I can take a look around…maybe find something to help explain what happened?"
She nodded, scribbling the address on a small piece of paper and handing it to him, "Wait a minute," she said, walking over to her purse and digging around until she found a key. She gave it to him, "This is the key to his place," she said. "If you find anything…will you let me know? You can call me at the precinct. I'll be there all day…I'm doing evaluations and they're due by tomorrow…"
Elliot nodded, "Liv…I think you should stay home today. This is hard news…even if you weren't together anymore…"
"Elliot," she said sadly. "Ed Tucker…Brian was working IAB with him…and he told me he had something on Tucker but he wouldn't tell me what. I think he's involved. Tucker sent him on this assignment and when Brian called me yesterday he said he was on the verge of something...I think Tucker killed him..." She didn't tell him about Tucker's visit with her the day before. She was keeping that to herself for now.
"Okay," Elliot nodded. "I'll look into it."
"Are you going to notify his mother," she asked. "Or do you think I should call her?"
"I can do it," Elliot offered. "Unless you feel like she'd rather hear it from you."
"No mother wants to hear that news from anyone," she said seriously. He watched her throw her purse over her shoulder and lean forward to kiss her son once more. "I love you baby," she said, drying her eyes. She looked so different from the way he remembered, and yet she was the same.
He missed her…he'd forgotten how much until now. "Liv…call me…if you need me or if you want to talk. I'm here if you need me."
"Yeah right," she sighed, opening the front door. "You don't return my calls…remember Elliot?" she sputtered, as she walked out the door.
More soon...
