CLARY POV:
So my love for Jace was going to be a secret. I know I thought that I was going to tell him this morning but it just wasn't going to happen anymore. But I would never know if he liked me back if I never told him.
That alone was a motivator to buck up and tell him, but my subconscious told me 'no' so I did nothing. I just dwelt on the fact that he would move on from New York eventually and probably move to Idris and find some pretty girl who has freakin' awesome fighting abilities and-
This wasn't helping me. I needed to escape. I moved from my place on my bed and opened the door to reveal Jace with his hand poised to knock. He smiled. I looked… I think I looked depressed.
"Izzy said to get you for lunch." Angel, he sounded almost smug. Smug.
"Not hungry." I brushed past him and made my way to the staircase so I could get to the library. He didn't grab my shoulder like I wanted him to, and ask me what was wrong. He, in turn, just brushed past me and jogged down the stairs. Sigh.
I dragged my feet down the stairs and then I dragged my feet down the hall and then I dragged my feet into the library and then I dragged my feet to the bookshelf and then I dragged my feet to the window seat. It was pouring outside. Today was a happy day, really it was.
I opened the book: Julius Caesar. I started reading the Shakespearean literature and made it to the Act IV before Izzy poked her head around the door. "Hey Clary. We're going out again. Wanna come with?" She walked around the door; she was wearing a tight red dress with orange flecks and black stilettos. She had heavy make-up on so she looked like Paris Hilton on steroids. I thought make-up was supposed to make you look natural…?
"No thanks. I'm not feeling well," I replied. I turned my eyes back to my book and heard her heels click away. The heavy front entrance doors banged loudly as they were slammed shut. Alone again.
Spare a little candle, save some light for me.
I forgot to turn the light on again. I reached over to the table beside me and flicked on the lamp.
Figures up ahead moving in the trees.
I watched as Izzy, Alec, Jace and Magnus with his shiny spiked hair, walked down to the street and hailed a cab.
White skin in linen, perfume on my wrist,
More like pale skin in a wool sweater and a nothing on my wrist. Does deodorant count?
And the full moon that hangs over these dreams in the mist.
I could barely see the moon through the rain and the clouds; only a faint outline shining through.
Darkness on the edge, Shadows where I stand
The lamp cast scary shadows onto the library floor. I was actually kind of creeped out. Jace would probably laugh at me if he knew…
I search for the time on a watch with no hands,
The ticking of the clock on the wall was just as annoying as yesterday. I took the initiative to get up from the book and pushed a chair up against the wall and climbed up. Damnit. I wasn't tall enough. I grabbed a few books and piled them up onto the wooden chair. It was quite wobbly. Very wobbly. The book fell over and I came crashing to the floor. I hit my head on the side of the table and lay on the floor unmoving. I could faintly hear footsteps rushing towards me.
I want to see you clearly, Come closer than this
They ran over to me. I heard them saying my name. I couldn't see them though…
But all I remember are the dreams in the mist
I faded into the blackness.
These dreams go on when I close my eyes.
I could hear but where were they?
Every second of the night, I live another life.
This can't be happening to me…
These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside,
I opened my eyes, just barely conscious.
Every moment I'm awake, the further I'm away.
No one was there. Everyone had left. No one…
Is it cloak and dagger, could it be Spring or Fall?
Every thought was running together, I couldn't get them straight.
I Walk without a cut through a stained-glass wall.
I kept hearing their voices, close up and then far away.
Weaker in my eyesight, a candle in my grip,
My vision was getting blurry, fading in and out.
And words that have no form are falling from my lips.
I was mumbling, no screams. I had no energy for that.
These dreams go on when I close my eyes.
I slipped back into unconsciousness again momentarily.
Every second of the night, I live another life.
I had to get up, I had to call somebody.
These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside,
I could feel the blood pooling around my head, neck and shoulders. I was so scared.
Every moment I'm awake, the further I'm away.
I could die here.
There's something out there I can't resist.
My phone was in my pocket. If only I could get it.
I need to hide away from the pain.
It felt like my head was dipped in acid, like it was being eaten away by fire.
There's something out there I can't resist.
Please God, let me just call Jace…
The sweetest song is silence that I've ever heard.
I reached my phone and found Jace's speed dial number. I could hear the dial tone.
Funny how your feet in dreams never touch the Earth.
He answered but his voice seemed so far away again.
In a wood full of princes, freedom is a kiss.
I mumbled into the receiver…
But the Prince hides his face from dreams in the mist.
"Clary? CLARY? I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!"
These dreams go on when I close my eyes.
Footsteps, I hear footsteps…
Every second of the night, I live another life.
They were here, for real, everyone.
These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside,
Frantic screaming, it was so loud.
Every moment I'm awake, the further I'm away.
These dreams go on when I close my eyes.
The paramedics carry me out of the room on a stretcher.
Every second of the night, I live another life.
I'll … I'll be okay, Jace. I'll live.
These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside,
Please stay with me Jace.
Every moment I'm awake, the further I'm away.
"Please…"
WOW that took me a long time to update. I totally forgot I had stories going on. My apologies. :D virtual cookies for all of you.
