Mom says we are not supposed to leave the house until Pearl is six weeks old and I grow restless and irritated in the house. Mom offers to watch her while I go to the woods but I can't leave her for more than a few minutes. Even going to the bathroom, I panic and run back to hold her again. Haymitch adores her too. He holds her and makes funny faces at her and she even giggles; Mom says she's never heard of a baby giggling at such a young age. She's Peeta's daughter, after all. He is the kindest person I have ever known and always had a smile for everyone.


Pearl's little tuft of dark hair becomes golden curls and her eyes get even bluer if that's possible. Her little rosy cheeks are perfect for squeezing and I find myself smothering her with kisses. When she's seven weeks old, Mom arranges for all of us to go to 4 with her. I'm excited to see Annie and her son.


Pearl's first time on a train is quite an adventure. Though she's calm for the first part of the trip, she becomes a hysterical mess as we approach 4. I keep her in my compartment so she won't bother the other passengers. I'm exhausted when we arrive.

Mom takes us to her little one bedroom house, not far from Victor's Village. She watches Pearl while I take a short nap; I feed her before we set out to explore the district. With Pearl strapped to my chest, I take in everything. It's really beautiful here; the water is so blue that I can see the bottom in some places. It's a lot warmer here as well. I take Pearl into the water with me and she shrieks and giggles when her little toes touch the water.

Annie comes over for dinner and of course, brings little Finn. I'm stunned when I see how much he looks like Finnick. Annie's eyes grow wide when she sees my daughter strapped to my chest.

"Oh Katniss, I had no idea!"

"Not many did. Annie, meet little Pearl. Pearl, this is your Mama's friend, Miss Annie."

"She's beautiful, Katniss."

"Thank you," I say warmly, looking down at my daughter. She really is the most beautiful baby I've ever seen. Annie lifts Finn up to see her closer. He smiles and strokes her head gently, then puts his finger to his lips. I nod and repeat the gesture and Annie puts him back down.


While Mom watches Finn and Pearl, Annie takes me to the beach where we dip our toes into the surf. I quietly tell her the whole story and like a true friend, she listens without judgement.

"Katniss," she finally speaks. "I won't tell you what to do but you should know that he misses you. He talks about you all the time and…he gets this sad look on his face when he does. I can tell he is trying not to but it just happens and he goes quiet and looks so pained. Maybe you should talk to him while you're here in 4?"

"He's here?" She nods and kicks the sand.

"He's settled down on the other side of town. Don't know how long he will stay because he doesn't seem to stay in one place but he seems to like it here. I think you should go see him."

"What do I say, Annie? How do I tell him this?"

"You start with hello," she says softly. "And tell him you miss him. And that you lied. You love him."

"I…I can't."

"Yes you can," she presses. "What would I give to have another chance to talk to Finnick!" My heart races and I lower my head in shame.

"Just for a moment. To tell him all the things I never told him. To show him a picture of our son. Peeta isn't dead, Katniss. You can still fix it. You can still talk to him. He might be upset but he'll forgive you. You forget that I was in his cell with him in the Capitol. I know how hard the Capitol had to work to make him hate you. How long it took, how much pain it took. It's because of the love he felt for you. The love he held onto." Tears come at her words and I shake my hair out of my eyes. She rests her hand on mine, then turns and walks further into the water. She holds her dress up around her knees and giggles as the waves threaten to knock her over. I don't know what to make of it but I know she's right; I need to see him.

"Do you have his address, Annie?"

"I thought you'd never ask."


As soon as Mom and Pearl are asleep, I creep out and head across town. His house isn't far from Annie's and I stealthily move across peoples' lawns, looking for the number. At last I find it and I sigh at the warmth coming from inside. Light floods through the windows and the curtains are wide open.

I can see Delly sitting on the couch, flipping through a magazine. She looks up and her face breaks into a smile at something across the room. And then I see him. His back is to me but I recognize those golden curls and those broad shoulders. She jumps to her feet and throws her arms around his neck. Was he always that much taller than her?

And then my heart bursts with pain as I watch him lean down and kiss her. Her hands move up into those curls and grip them tightly as his hands wrap around her.

I can't watch anymore. Annie was wrong; Peeta has moved on after all. He's found love and happiness.

I quietly slip away into the night, back to Mom's house. I watch my daughter sleep and lean down to stroke her curls.

"From now on, it's just you and me," I whisper to her. I stay up all night, making plans. I can't stay in 4 now. There's always the chance I could run into him and then what would I do? I don't want to return to 12 either.

"We'll disappear together," I say to the dark room. "No one will find us, my little Pearl. I'll keep you safe. Always."

I'd like to say goodbye to Mom but I know she will argue with me and try to convince me to stay so I write her a brief note instead. With my daughter strapped to my chest again, I slip into the night and board a train. I'm not exactly sure where we are going but I hope I know when we get there.


We travel for weeks and I'm shocked at how well-behaved Pearl is being. It's like she can sense that her mother is searching for a refuge for us both and she stays calm through our journey.

It turns out that the mountains of District 2 sort of call out to me. I stay far away from town but am able to find a quaint little cabin that is perfect for Pearl and me. My Victors winnings help me fix it up quite nicely and I fashion a cute little nursery for Pearl, although I keep her bed in my bedroom. I can't stand being in another room from her for too long. I hope I grow out of this because I will have an angry little teenager on my hands if I don't.


By the time she is two, my little girl looks so much like her father. The way her tongue pokes out of the corner of her mouth when she sits and colors or the way her long golden lashes catch the light. Her blue eyes blinking up at me and her lips curving into a sweet smile. I miss him every day but I dread the day when she starts to ask questions about him.

The rain pelts at me as I race home. I throw my cloak and bow aside and find my nanny waiting on the porch.

"Is she awake?" She nods and slips away silently. We have an interesting relationship. She's an Avox who adores Pearl and I don't have to talk a lot. It's comforting and Pearl has fun with her. She's really helped out when I go far into the mountains to hunt, or into town for supplies.

I find my daughter drawing on the couch.

"Where's my little girl," I call, smiling when she huffs.

"Mommy! Right here!"

"Oh THERE you are! My sweet little three year old! What do you want for your birthday breakfast?"

"Cheesebuns!" I can't help but laugh; they aren't nearly as good as Peeta's but I've tried to perfect them over the years. She's become as fond of them as I am.

"Ok, cheesebuns for my birthday girl. You were supposed to be sleeping, why are you up so early?"

"I drawed this for you!" She holds up the paper and I smile. She's gotten her daddy's talent for art too.

"This is beautiful, Pearl! Is this me?" She nods eagerly.

"And this little princess is you, I imagine?" I notice another figure, sort of hovering in the background and I frown.

"But who's this, sweetheart?"

"My Daddy." My blood runs cold and I almost crinkle the paper.

"Your daddy?"

"I have one, right?"

"Well, of course you do." How is she asking me this? It's not like Laura can talk and tell her about her father.

"Where he go?" I swallow. I'm not ready for this conversation. Not in the slightest.

"We will talk about Daddy later, baby. Come on, come help Mama make your cheesebuns." The thought of the delicious treat pushes her daddy from her mind but I'm terrified when she will bring it up again.


I've only called Mom and Haymitch once to assure them Pearl and I were both safe. I got an earful from both of them but I don't care. I'm happy with Pearl and I don't need anything else. I take Pearl into town and teach her what she needs to know. She's growing up beautifully and I'm proud to call myself her mother. Though I miss Peeta every day, I know he is happy. I didn't tell either of them where I was, for fear they would tell Peeta one day. It still haunts me, how someone could find us and destroy this little safe haven I have created. How my past could destroy Pearl's future.

I finally asked Haymitch to do one thing for me and as much as I know he will hate me for it, he will do it because he owes me this.

So it doesn't come as a huge surprise, when I'm shopping for groceries and Pearl walks by my side, that I see my picture on the large TV.

"Pearl, do you want to go play on the playset for a little bit?"

"Yes Mommy!" I know many of the mothers who watch the playset; they don't know who I really am but they adore Pearl and allow her to play with their children. I wave back to Shimmer, who greets Pearl cheerfully. I edge closer to the TV and try to make out what they are saying.

"-disappearance of Katniss Everdeen. Sources say she fled District 12 after her exile was lifted by President Paylor and that she never returned. Though foul play was ruled out, now almost 3 years later, sources are saying something likely happened to the Mockingjay. Armed forces have been asking questioning those close to Everdeen and Victor Haymitch Abernathy, Everdeen's former mentor, refused to speak to press until this afternoon. His confession that he thinks something has happened to her has shaken the country." I gasp when I see Haymitch's tired face on the screen.
"Katniss and I always had a complicated relationship but I knew her well. And I know she wouldn't just disappear when she has people who love her. Something happened to her. I just don't know what or when."

Oh Haymitch. Thank you.

"You want me to WHAT?" I remember him growling in my ear.

"Haymitch, please. I'm tired of being afraid that someone will find out where I am. It's time to close the door on Katniss Everdeen for good. I can't stand to think what Pearl will say if she discovers who I really am."

"Katniss, she'll be proud of who you are!"

"Why? Because I almost ate a couple of berries and started a rebellion? Got millions of people killed, including my own district? Including her own aunt and uncles and her grandparents? Sorry Haymitch but I don't think that's much to be proud of. I just want to forget the past. I want to stop living in fear."

"So what, you want me to pretend you're dead? And what will happen when the kid sees it and calls me, all panicked?"

"He hasn't asked about me in years has he?" He's silent and I nod.

"Thought so. Haymitch, please do this for me. For Pearl."

"Oh you're low, using that little girl to get what you want."

"Think of how she will react if she ever learns about her mother's past. How her father nearly killed her."

"Alright, alright! I'll talk to the press. But this is going to blow up in our faces; I just know it is."

I head back to the playset and smile when I see Pearl running around with the other kids.

"Hey baby, it's time to go home," I call. She runs straight into my arms and I lift her up, giving her a big kiss on the cheek. She giggles and wraps her arms around my neck and I grin at the other mothers as I carry her home. I walk away without another glance at the screen that says in big letters 'Death of the Mockingjay'. It's time to stop being scared. The world can mourn me if they wish, though I doubt many will, but I'm ready to throw it all aside for this little piece of heaven in my arms.