Disclaimer: See chapter one.
Father Daughter Duo: The New Duo
Chapter 3- Step Two of Decomposition.
Clean up after things calmed down was going fine. Daryl had come back with the meds that we needed and gotten them to people in the nick of time so I hear. I wasn't there for any of it. I was locked away with Beth and Little Ass Kicker. We passed the time by singing to Little Ass Kicker and the little one in my stomach. In all reality, we should have been worrying about the people on the other side of the door that Beth leaned against most of the time we were in there. But if we were to start worrying, that would put unneeded stress on my body and Little Ass Kicker would have picked up on it and cried. A crying baby would have made the extended stay in an uncomfortable room even more dreadful.
But eventually the door to our room opened and I saw Daryl on the other side. I had no control over my feet as I ran to him and threw my arms around his shoulders. "I missed you so much." I breathed into his neck where I pressed my face. I was so worried about him. While I was locked away he'd said he was doing fine, that he wasn't sick, but I just had a feeling that he was lying to me. It was clear to me now though, that he didn't have a fever and he looked just a healthy as before we spent what felt like forever apart.
But that was a day ago and now I was watching the kids while everyone else did some cleaning up from all the chaos that had been our lives for the past few days. Now days, everyone but Little Ass Kicker took care of themselves. Other than the occasional question like "where are the crayons?" and "Mrs. Dixon, how do you help me pronounce this word?" watching the kids was easy.
That was until we felt the entire building shake. The kids looked up at me with shocked questioning eyes. I didn't know if I should head outside and see what was happening or stay inside and protect the kids in case the worse of the worse happened. It wasn't long after the blast that Merle swung the door open and pulled me out into the hallway. "Merle, what the hell's goin' on out there? I heard a blast. Is Daryl okay?" I asked in a rush while he dragged me far enough down the hall for the kids to not be able to hear what he had to say.
"Daryl is fine. Calm down." He rested his hands on my shoulder as he looked into my eyes reassuringly.
"Merle, what's happening?" I asked again, calmly this time.
"The Governor's back." My heart sank at his statement. "We have to get you and he kids to the bus, in case things head south."
I was shaking with unshed tears in my eyes. I knew this day would eventually come, the day when someone or something would come to this place and try to take it down. I just didn't think it would be The Governor after he had been gone for so long. I knew we had to save as many people as possible, because the governor wouldn't go without a fight. So I looked up at Merle with watery eyes and took his hands from my shoulders to head back to the library of kids.
"Lizzy, Mica, you girls put Judy in her carrier and follow us. You other kids stay close behind. We're heading for the bus." I instructed. The kids just looked up at me with questioning eyes, not being used to being bossed around by me. "Do what I said. It's just like the drill okay?" I said as I got the kids up and to the door. We ushered them down the hall till we came to the door that led outside. We could hear gunshots and I looked at Merle. He could tell that I was thinking about Daryl and if he was okay out there. "It's gonna be okay." He assured me.
I took a deep breath and gave him a nod before turned to the kids. "There's shooting going on out there, so stay as low to the ground as possible and stay close." They all gave me nods and I turned to Merle with a nod and he gave me a gun before he threw the door open and we rushed out. It surprised me when he threw his arm around my shoulders and shielded me as we rushed to the bus. I sat down in one of the front seats with a heavy thump.
"I'm gonna go find Daryl. We'll meet you here when we can." He assured me before he ran off.
The kids weren't in the bus and I looked out to see them still standing at the door we had run out from. Lizzy was saying something to them, still with Little Ass Kicker in their hands. Lizzy dropped Little Ass Kicker and ran over to where the gun bins were at and grabbed a gun for each of them. I got up to go for them, but a shot zipped by my head and I had to duck back into the bus. I had an internal debate of rather to save them and put myself and my baby as risk, or stay in the bus and protect my child. It was a hard decision, but I had to protect myself and my child.
So I moved to sit back down in the seat. My hands shook as I placed them on my huge belly. "We are gonna make it Peach, I promise." I whispered to the baby inside and felt a ripple of movement that I took as an answer. I stood in my seat and looked around when I heard the clanking of metal. The tank was running over the fences. Beth stuck her head in and asked me where Judith was so I told her where I had last seen her. I didn't know what to do, it didn't feel right just sitting there while all hell was breaking loose around me. But I couldn't leave and risk getting myself hurt.
It wasn't much later that other people started getting on the bus. Most of them were the ones from the cellblock of sick people. Maggie and Glenn entered in a rush. "Bay, you're here, thank God. Where's Beth?" Maggie asked, panicking.
"She went to find Judith." I answered. "She went that way."
"We'll find her. She'll be okay." Glenn tried to follow Maggie, but she wouldn't let him and she ran off leaving Glenn behind.
"Glenn, she's right. You're still too weak." I tried to say, but he ran off without listening to me. "Glenn!" I yelled trying to get him to listen to reason, but he just kept running. I stood and watched hoping to see Daryl, but I couldn't.
"That's it; we're getting out of here." I heard someone say as the bus cranked up.
I turned to see a woman who I had never spoken too much, sitting in the driver's seat. "No, not without Daryl." I yelled as I got up and opened the door that she had shut.
"We're going." She said as she stomped on the gas, but I hit the air breaks.
"We're not going anywhere." I argued and she hit my hand away and closed the door, but I opened it back up.
"You can get off if you want, but I'm going." She stomped on the gas, slinging me backwards. I stumbled down the steps and fell out of the door to land on my back on the pavement. The breath was knocked out of me and I couldn't move, but I was sure the baby was fine. A bullet zipped by my head as I turned onto my hands and knees and scrambled to hide behind a planter box that sat along one side of a gazebo.
"No!" I heard a raspy, panicked yell and looked up over the planter box to see Merle staring after the buss that was headed down the dirt road. "God fucking damn it!" he yelled at the top of his lungs before turning to a walker that was stumbling his way. He stabbed it in the head with the contraption on his arm.
"Merle!" I yelled getting his attention. He ran around the gazebo and lifted me up.
"Why the hell weren't you on that bus?" he asked with a mix of relief and anger in his voice.
"I couldn't leave without Daryl." I explained and he hugged me tight. I would have clawed and pushed away from him under any other circumstances. "Where is he?" I asked as he let me go.
"I don't know. I haven't seen 'em." He said with a shake of his head and I sighed in frustration. "We gotta get you out of here." He grabbed my hand and started leading me away towards the back of the prison. I was running behind him because walkers were on our tail. I hadn't ran in a while and it was causing my back to start hurting. On top of that I was having a hard time breathing.
"Merle." I said and he didn't respond. "Merle, where are we going?" I panted and he didn't look at me when he answered.
"I stashed a truck back here forever ago. We're getting out of here." I didn't argue. How could I? There were walkers at our back and even a few headed towards us from the front. Looking for Daryl would be impossible. I shot a few of the walkers that were in front of us and Merle did the same. We ran a few more feet then came upon a truck that was covered with vines and sticks. Some had been put there by Merle, other's had grown there naturally. "Cover me while I get it clear." He ordered and I took guard at the front of truck. I shot two walkers from the front and three from the back before Merle yelled at me again. "Get inside."
I did as instructed and slid in from the driver's side door that he was holding open. He started trying to crank the truck, but it wouldn't turn over. "God damn it." He cursed as he threw his door open and ran around to the front of the truck hitting a very rotten walker in the face with the butt of his gun along the way. He threw the hood open long enough to quickly jimmy the battery cables. He then quickly shot another walker, slammed the hood closed then got back in the truck.
He turned the key and it purred to life. "Oh thank God." I let my head fall forward with a grateful sigh. He put the truck in gear and took off.
"Im'ma circle the place, see if we can find 'em. If he's nowhere to be seen I'm taking off." He said without looking at me.
I hated this. Being without Daryl and stuck with Merle on top of that, it was killing me. Hopeful that we would find Daryl, I held my pending tears back. As we were driving around the front part of the prison, Lucas ran up to us waving his arms. "Merle stop!" I yelled and thankfully he did. Lucas hopped into the bed of the truck and I opened the back sliding window that was behind me. "Uncle Seth?" I asked and he just shook his head. "What about Daryl? Have you seen him?" I asked in a rush.
"No, I haven't seen him." He answered as he kicked a walker off of the truck. "There's no one left in there. Go!" he yelled and Merle obliged by stepping hard on the gas.
I hit the dashboard hard with my fist in both anger and the need to brace myself against Merle's driving. As I did I let an aggravated growl leave my mouth. "He's not dead." I looked at Merle like he was stupid.
"I know that." I answered in almost a whisper, making him finally look at me. In that moment another pain shot through my back. A sound of discomfort left my closed mouth.
"You okay?" he asked receiving a glare from me. Of course I wasn't ok. My husband was missing and my uncle, the only blood family I had left, was dead. "I meant physically." He clarified as I leaned forward to grip my back as another dull pain shot through it.
"My back hurts. I think runnin' aggravated it." I answered with my discomfort plain on my face.
Merle, while looking at the road, banged on the back glass to get Lucas's attention. He opened it up and peered into the cab with a careworn face. "Tell 'em what you told me." Merle demanded and I sighed.
"I'm fine." I said being stubborn. Merle looked at me with a hard face and I rolled my eyes. "My back started hurting when I was running and now pain keeps shooting through it."
"Is it getting worse?" Lucas asked and I nodded. "How far apart are the pains?"
"Maybe fifteen minutes, with dull ones in-between." I answered to the best of my ability.
"Has your water broken?" he asked.
"No."
"There's no wetness at all? Does it feel like you're on your period or even just like you're sweating down there?" he asked.
"Oh, gross man." Merle grumbled, but we ignored him.
"No, nothing." I answered with a shake of my head.
"Good." He sighed and let his head fall forward in relief. "We still have time."
"Time for what?" Merle and I asked at the same time. If I were thinking straight I would have known the answer.
"Time to find a safe place to have a baby." He answered and Merle stomped on the gas even harder. "You're going to meet your child soon." Lucas informed me with a mix of panic and pride.
I felt like my heart had stopped. I was going into labor and Daryl wasn't here. My husband was going to miss the birth of his baby. "This can't be happening." I didn't realize I had said it out loud until Merle replied with something I didn't pay attention to.
I was thrown against the door when Merle suddenly took a left turn onto a small paved road. "Where are you going?" Lucas asked Merle, but we were answered when he stopped in front of a white two story house. It would have been considered nice two or three years ago, but now it just looked like a decent place to hold up for the night.
"This place is safe. Me and Michonne stumbled across it when we were governor hunting. It's got a few days worth of food. Or at least it did when we left it." He explained.
"Good. Bay, stay here while we make sure it's safe." Lucas said before he jumped out of the truck bed and Merle got out and followed him.
Another pain shot through my back and snaked it's way around my side. I placed my hands on my stomach and did the only thing I could think to do that would calm me down. I started singing a random song. But I stopped when I felt something down there pop and a little bit of warm liquid seeped into my pants. "Oh…no…" I started to panic and wanted to call out for them, but I knew that was a bad idea. So I waited patiently all the while more and more liquid spilled out and soaked my jeans. Soon merle came out and rushed over to open the passenger door. When I looked up at him I noticed his gaze was on my lap. "My water broke." I felt numb as his eyes met mine.
"Okay…uh, can ya walk?" he asked with a scratch of his head before I noticed Lucas wasn't out here with him.
"Yeah, I don't see why I wouldn't be able to." I answered as I slid down out of the truck with one hand on my globe of a belly and the other on Merle's shoulder. Once I was out and steady on my feet Merle placed one hand on my lower back and the other on my shoulder as he helped me waddle to the house and up the porch steps. White paint chipped off of them with the weight of my feet. "Where's Lucas?" I asked as we entered the house and I looked around. Ten feet across from us where we stood in the entryway sat a set of long stairs. To the right was an archway that led to the dark living room, furnished in brown and blue and to the left was the large kitchen.
"He's upstairs getting' a room ready for ya." He answered.
As I looked at the staircase it seemed to grow longer and longer. "Uh…upstairs?" I asked, my voice reflecting how strained I was just from walking up the porch steps. I looked from the stairs to him. "I don't think I-" in a sudden whoosh I was lifted up into Merle's arms and he started walking me gently up to my room.
He walked a short distance down the hallway before entering the only open door to set me on a bed that was only covered by a fitted sheet. "Hey Doc. L, you might want to hurry up whatever yer doin' over there." With Merle's words I looked to Lucas to see him placing a bowl, hand soap and a bottle of water on the dresser that stood against the wall across from the foot of the bed.
"Why?" he asked as he turned while drying his hands.
"Her water broke." Merle answered before I could and pointed to my stained jeans.
"Oh, well, it looks like it's time to get those off of you then." Up until this point I had been comfortably numb, but the mention of me taking my pants off set off alarm bells in my head. I'm pregnant, of course I understood that someone would be watching a baby come out of my downstairs, but I didn't think it would be Lucas. Hell I didn't think Merle would be anywhere near me when the baby decided to come. I thought it would be Doctor S. down at my feet and Uncle Seth and Daryl up at my head where they couldn't see anything. I thought the person delivering my baby would be someone that I'd only known for a little while. I didn't think it would be the man that I had known every since I could remember assisted by the person that put me in this position to begin with.
"What? No." I answered in a rush as I scooted back to sit up straighter. I was finally panicking like I should have been all along.
"Bay, you can't have a baby with your pants on." Lucas kneeled down by the bed and calmly reasoned with me, but my eyes instantly found Merle where he stood by the still open door.
I opened my mouth to tell him to get out, but I didn't have to. He was already leaving. I didn't realize it, but I had started hyperventilating. "This isn't how this was supposed to go. You weren't supposed to be the one delivering this baby. Doctor S. or Hershel, but not you. You were supposed to be outside waiting. Just Uncle Seth and Daryl and whoever was delivering the baby, that's it. No one else was supposed to me in the room with me. Not here, not you and defiantly not him." I pointed at Merle as tears started to slid down my face. Lucas rested a hand on my shoulder and wiped a tear away with his other. "Daryl was supposed to be-" an intense pain that was worse than the others shot through my lower back and abdomen. I slammed my hands into the bed and gripped the sheets as I stifled the urge to cry out.
Lucas rubbed my back until the pain faded. "I know, Daryl was supposed to be here for the birth. A father should get to see his child come into the world, but he's not. And I know that sucks, but at least the baby's uncle is here." He said with a look in the direction of the door Merle had disappeared out of. He was trying to be encouraging, but he was failing miserably. "He can witness it and tell Daryl all about it when we find him." He lectured as he got up and grabbed some towels off of the dresser across from the foot of the bed. He sat them at my feet before he walked back over to stand next to me and grabbed my hand. "But right now I need you to focus on getting this baby here safely." He looked into my eyes and gave my hand a squeeze. "Do you think you can do that for me?" he asked and I nodded. "Then let's get those pants off." He walked to stand at the foot of the bed while I unbuttoned my maternity pants and lifted my butt so that he could tug them down. I felt exposed, but it helped when he tossed a sheet over my spread knees. A second later another pain shot out. I gripped the sheet in my fist, clenched my teeth and squeezed my eyes shut. "Okay, we're looking good so far." Lucas said as he put the sheet down and patted my knee. "You can relax for a bit, we're in for a long night."
"She's not coming now, like right now?" I asked and he smiled down at me.
"No. your contractions aren't too strong and they're still too far apart. We should have plenty of time to get some rest before the real work begins." He explained before he walked out.
I rested my head against the wooden headboard with a sigh and placed my hands on my stomach. "Where are you Daryl?" I whispered with a look up at the ceiling. I jerked my head up when I heard a soft knock on the door.
"Can I come in?" Merle asked and I adjusted the sheet to make sure I was completely covered before I nodded. "You should try to get some sleep." He suggested as he handed me a bottle of water and moved to sit in a fluffy armchair that sat against the wall to my right.
"Yeah right." I scoffed. It was quiet for a long while before I hissed in pain and I fisted the sheet on the bed. I squeezed my eyes shut and clenched my teeth, once again trying not to make too much noise. When I opened my eyes Merle was no longer in his chair, but stood halfway between it and the bed. The look on his face suggested that he was having an internal debate. Did he actually want to comfort me? He scratched his head and sighed as he sat back down in the chair. "What do you think Daryl would be doin' if he was here?" I asked making him look up from his feet to me.
"I ain't got a damn clue." He answered in bewilderment. "Probably be sitting next to ya holdin' your hand er somethin'."
I just nodded numbly at his answer. "Lucas is probably-" another pain shot out cutting me off. I did as I did before and fisted the sheets and squeezed my eyes shut.
I didn't open them when I felt a callused hand remove my hand from the sheet and hold it. I squeezed it as tight as I could until the pain subsided. Even after it subsided I didn't let go and I didn't open my eyes. "What the hell is happening?" I asked myself while breathing slowly and deeply. I knew it was Merle's hand I was holding and I couldn't figure out why I couldn't let go and I couldn't make myself look at him.
It felt like forever before I made myself open my eyes and look at our hands. A pain shot through my chest at the sight. Another pain shot through my chest when my eyes drifted and met Merle's. "Why?" the question left my lips without my consent. It was a simple question, only one word, but behind it were many more complicated questions beginning with the same word. Why did you do this to me? Why did you come back? Why did you have to turn into a good guy? Why are you here with me instead of Daryl? But I guess what he thought I was asking was why did he just take my hand.
"I figured you could take yer pain out on me." once again, a simple sentence with so much more hidden within it. "I hurt'cha, only seems fair for ya to hurt me."
"Um," I said as I took my hand from his and cleared my throat. "So I was saying that Lucas is probably gonna need you well rested too." I looked down at my feet as I spoke. "You should go get some sleep. I'll call when things start getting worse."
"Ya sure?" he asked as I heard him get up and got to the door. I nodded and he left. The sun was still up then, but I actually ended up drifting off into a restless sleep and when I woke up the room was dark and the pain was twice as bad as what I was feeling before. I was about to call out for help when both Merle and Lucas came into the room. Lucas lit the lantern that sat on the night stand then one on a small table that he place near the foot of the bed.
I had been fisting the sheets again when Merle sat down on the bed beside me and took one of my hands. I ignored him and focused on Lucas instead. "Okay, it's crowning, time to push momma." He said with a smile from where he was peering under the sheet that still blocked everything from Merle's view. I did as Lucas instructed and pushed. The pressure down below was incredibly intense, worse than I ever dreamed, and I gritted my teeth as I pushed. "Okay, okay, okay. Take a breather." Luke said with a smile that he flashed Merle and me. "Push again when you feel ready. You're doing fine." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before I tucked my chin into my chest and pushed. What I felt can't be described in words, giving birth. It's just the weirdest, most painful feeling ever. "Okay, breath." Lucas instructed and I realized then that I had been squeezing the crap out of Merle's hand, but I didn't let go.
Instead I looked up at Merle to see him staring down at me with watery eyes. "Yer doin' good." He whispered and I couldn't help the small smile that graced my lips.
"Okay, Bay, one more good push and I think you'll be done." I looked back at him and nodded. This time, anxious to meet my baby, I bore down with everything in me.
It felt like I pushed forever before the pressure down below subsided and I heard Merle say "Told ya it'd be a girl." A strange sense of déjà-vou seeped into me. I was going to tell him to shut up, but that 's when I heard a smack, and a cry. My eyes landed on my baby, naked and spotted with white residue as Lucas wrapped her in a soft towel and placed her in my arms.
Tears started falling down my face as I stared into a set of little blue eyes. "Do you have a name for her?" Lucas asked.
I didn't look up from the beautiful bundle in my arms to answer. "Gertrude Kelly Dixon." I answered. I heard Lucas laugh and I looked up to see Merle glaring at him.
"Gertrud was my mother's name." he said flatly and Lucas literally wiped the smile off of his face.
"Oh, so Gertrude after Daryl's mom, Kelly after yours. I get it." He said with a shrug and a smile at me.
"Or Kelly Gertrude. I never decided on an order and Daryl and I never discussed it." I admitted before I looked back down to the quiet baby in my arms.
"I would go with Kelly first if I was you." Merle said and I looked at him with questioning eyes. "Momma hated her name." I smiled to myself and just looked back down at the baby. "So what would you have named her if she were a boy?" he asked.
"I never decided on that. It was a tossup between Daryl Dixon Jr. and Norman Sean." I explained. "But I'm happy with little Gerdi." I smiled down at the baby who was sleeping in my arms.
"She looks like a Gerdi." Lucas said as he walked over and brushed his finger over the baby's cheek. "I'm guessing that Norman was your father's name?" Lucas asked and Merle nodded.
"Yep." Merle drawled the word out and he sat down in the chair in the corner and propped his feet up on a small stool. "I could've told ya it'd be a girl. Dixon's always have girls first."
Hearing him say this reminded me that I never learned the story behind if Daryl and Merle had a sister or not. The baby woke up and started fussing. So I looked to Lucas for help. "She's probably hungry." He explained and I looked to Merle with wide eyes.
"I'm goin'." He said as he got up and walked out, leaving me alone with Lucas for the first time since the shit hit the fan.
"Do you want help, or can manage on your own?" he asked, understanding that if I wanted help that he have to see me topless. I told him that I wanted to try it on my own so he left the room. A few minutes later I heard a knock on the cracked door.
"Can I come in now?" Merle asked and I tossed the extra sheet over my chest, then told him he could. "Told ya you'd be a good mom." He said with a smug smile on his face. I just ignored him and looked back down at the suckling baby.
When Gerdi had was finished Merle left so that I could put my shirt back on. "You can come in now." I called softy and he came back in and sat back down in the chair that he'd claimed as his. He'd been so good through all of this. Keeping me safe, bringing me here to this house, not pushing or insisting I do anything didn't want to do. I hated to admit it, but I was glad he was here. This way Daryl could hear all about it from someone who could describe it to him in a way he would understand, the way he would describe it himself. If it were left up to Lucas to tell him he'd use complicated doctor speech that would go over my head and Daryl's. Lucas would give him the bare minimum.
When Gerdi started fidgeting Lucas stepped up to take her off my hands, but I shook my head. For a tiny thing Gerdi could wear an arm out quickly. That or I was just that tired. So I looked from Lucas to Merle to see that he was staring down at his dirty shoes with a look that told me he was lost in thought. "Merle," I whispered getting his attention. He looked up at me as if he was surprised his name left my lips. "do you… want to hold her?" my question was ended with a yawn that I couldn't hold back.
"You serious?" he asked unbelievingly.
I didn't want to hand the baby over to him, but I knew it was the right thing to do. Merle had done right by me and done everything he could to right his wrong. Even though that wrong could never be righted or even forgotten, it could be moved past. I had to move past it or life would be even more miserable than it already is. "Mm-hmm." I hummed quietly since Gerdi had drifted off into a light slumber. "She is your-" I caught the word that was about to leave my lips and seamlessly added "niece after all."
Merle got up from his comfy chair with a grunt and walked over to look down at the little girl. It was the first close look he had gotten at her. "She looks like Daryl when he was a baby." He admitted and I could tell by the tone of his voice that he was a little disappointed that she didn't look more like him. I smiled at the baby before I looked up at him.
"She looks a little like her Momma too." Lucas piped up from where he stood at the foot of the bed. To be honest I forgot that he was even in the room.
"Right, like you ever saw me when I was a baby." I said with a joking tone.
"I've seen pictures." He defended himself. "She's got your rosy cheeks." He pointed out and I looked down at the pink tinted cheeks of my baby.
I just waved him off before I sat up straighter and moved the sleeping baby away from my torso enough for Merle to be able to slide his arm under mine and take Gerdi without jostling her tiny frame too much. I couldn't help but smile at the small gasp Merle took in at the feel of the baby in his arms. When he finally looked away from the baby it was to look at me with tears threatening to slip from his eyes.
With the baby safe in his arms I felt my eyelids getting heavy. "Get some sleep. We'll take care of her." Lucas said as he and Merle left to give me some space. It wasn't hard for me to fall asleep that night.
