A/N: *Insert apology here* Thanks for always being there for me guys/girls. Now, please enjoy and leave a nice, happy reivew :)
OOO
"What is with that girl?" I thought aloud, kicking lazily at some foreign Cocoon machinery in my way. You think that the military would be all neat and proper. On the surface they were, but down in the lower decks, it was chaotic. Pieces of ship parts, metal, scrap, and tools littered the place; mechanics and engineers were in their element down here, running the ship to their every command. The boys upstairs, all they do is steer. That's what one of them said.
Ever since our little 'incident' Lightning has been avoiding me. Not going to lie, I miss her. And it's only been two days. Two. Damn pathetic. Little viper girl got me twisted around her little finger.
I huffed out an aggravated breath, blowing an idle strand of multicolored brunette hair out of my face. Muttering about bipolar Cocoon women, I walked to the elevator lift to go up to the observatory level. It's strange, but I feel calmer when I look out at the sky; it's like I'm free – able to fly away from everything. Our Focus, being l'Cie, the killing… everything.
Then again, I always think deeply whenever I'm looking out at the clouds. I start to think about what could have happened, what should have happened. Regrets begin to spill forth like a broken dam, worn and rusted barriers giving way to the flood.
As I walked up to the wide window that rose from the ground to the curved ceiling, I thought about my first kill. Eight years old, I remember slaying a wolf – impressive for someone so young. I was immediately placed amongst the older, adolescent hunters who were quick to segregate me. They were 'jealous' of my talent, the Elders said. Whatever it was, they pushed me to do my hardest, earn my acceptance. Even then, it never came.
At twelve, I took my first human kill. Our village was… raided. That's the nicer term. Looking back, I was surprised that I wasn't killed. I was out in the mountains, home of the Yun clan. I saw smoke hovering over the trees, a large pillar signaling an outbreak of despair. Our small group of young hunters sprinted back to the village, and what we found was imprinted in our memories just as deep, and just as horrifying as a l'Cie brand carved unto skin.
The village was burning, the people dying. We were children, we didn't think, we didn't know what to do. We ran to our homes, in hopes that someone, anyone was alive.
When I got to our house, I saw my father and my mother, their throats slit. Blood pooled on the ground, and I remember thinking that 'Human or animal, blood is the same'. That didn't even break me, it was close, I was on the edge – but when I lowered my head to my mother's stomach I finally broke down.
My mother had been pregnant, and my baby sister… the little one that never had a chance at life, was next to her, the babe's cord that was her connection to our mother, wrapped around her neck.
And people wondered why I'm so damn protective over Vanille.
OOO
This is why Vanille is so hyperactive and craves to do something. It's not that she wants to; it's to keep me from thinking about the past – about the horrors of war. War is honorable, they say, it's all well and good until you actually go out there and see the blood, the soilders dying, the screams of the damned. To see your comrade in arms – the one you faithfully trusted to guard your back – to see the light fade from their eyes, their bodies go limp and then stiffen, lifeless… it changes you. Makes you think thoughts that should never exist.
This is the legacy of war: Nothing but pain.
Five hundred years later and nothing has changed. Not a surprise.
I pressed my forehead against the glass, my arms loosely crossed. I was so tired of this… People my age didn't have to deal with the bullshit.
"Why me?" I whispered, closing my eyes tightly.
The memories don't go away; they come back stronger and fiercer. They flash bright, and then fade away, until another strike illuminates the darkest corners of my mind. It never stops. Memories, horrors… they don't need sleep or a break – they keep going, coming at you like an enemy that can't be staggered and can't be beaten.
And I have no fucking idea how to get rid of it.
I lifted my head from the glass to hit it against the hard surface, muttering old Oerban curses under my breath.
"That doesn't look like it's going to help."
Spinning around I was met with a sight that thrilled me as well as sent a shiver of tension down my spine. "Might as well try." I covered myself, hiding my obvious signs of falling apart like a hunter hiding her tracks.
Lightning walked over to where I was looking out the window. We stood there in silence, gazing out into the freedom of the sky.
Artificial sky… I thought, grimly. Turning to look at her, I paused as the sunlight and the brilliant blue combined with her cornflower blue eyes and turned them into a glowing supernova of color. She noticed me staring at her, and she arched one slender, pink eyebrow, amused. I shook my head to clear it, making the left corner of her mouth twitch upwards. "Why have you been avoiding me?"
She shrugged nonchalantly.
So it was going to be one of those talks then, hmm?
"I think you're scared." My declaration made the muscles in her jaw clench tight.
"You think so?"
Her quiet reply set me on the edge, always torn between creeping closer and dashing away.
"Yes, sweetheart." The smirk I sent her way, finally set off the spark of anger within the hot-headed woman and the next thing I knew, I was ducking under a slash from her gun-blade, rolling to the side to avoid a bullet, and flipping away to dodge a well-aimed kick. I laughed, exhilarated and happy for once. "I missed you, Sunshine!" Chuckling, I flipped again, avoiding another hail of bullets. Yeah, she was trying to kill me, but I missed her sparring… I missed her.
But, I should probably be paying more attention to the blade that's whizzing within centimeters of my face, yeah?
"Most people—," Her sword stabbed at me and I twisted back and to the side, letting my lance block the blow. "—normal people—," She ducked whenever I separated my lance and went to wrap it around her. "—would run away from danger, Fang."
"Ah, but that's why you love me, yeah?" I winked, flipping my separated lance so fast that it was a gold and red blur. I flicked it around her waist and drug her to me, the back of her body pressed flush against my front.
Her breathing was labored, and there were little beads of sweet on her neck where her hair parted to reveal the porcelain skin there. Her skin looked like it needed to be marked, to show whose territory it belon—
I leaned backward – not even realizing that I had been leaning forward – breathing just as hard as Lightning and pulling my lance away.
I did not just think that.
Lightning turned around, confusion apparent on her face. Wait a minute—
"You didn't fight back?" I tilted my head to the side, my eyes narrowing slightly. She… doesn't like contact.
Right?
Another shrug.
"Look, just talk to me already." I groaned. I really was getting tired of the evasive, No-One-Gets-To-See-The-Real-Lightning Game.
Lightning smiled then, a real smile. "Are you getting frustrated, Fang?"
"You don't know the half of it…" I muttered, glaring at my sandals.
Her eyes went distant. "Oh, I think I do…"
What? My eyes flicked back up to meet hers. I could tell she was hiding something. Her face was carefully set, blocking any outward emotion. Only her eyes spoke volumes, the tumultuous tide of emotion boiling over like the worst storm in a violent sea. Five minutes, ten minutes, a half an hour passed, with our silent communication the only thing present in the room. I was sifting through the woman, digging past her barriers, knocking away the false trails, to find—
Alarms rang, signaling the troops to readiness. Lightning's attention focused past me, to the window and passed it to spot the monstrous ship; our objective. Her eyes narrowed to thin slits. "Dysley."
Vanille.
OOO
Hours later…
Everything was taking its toll.
Leaning back against the wall of the Ark, my arms curled protectively around Vanille. I couldn't get over the fact that she was here, safe and sound. My fingers idly played with her bright, orange hair, twisting the strands around a finger to let them bounce loosely. As always, I got the tingly feeling whenever someone was watching me.
It wasn't hard to guess who it was.
I knew what she was thinking, what she wanted, and what she couldn't do. Lightning was thinking about Serah as I cradled my sister, she wanted her back, to protect her and love her, but she couldn't. She was a sister without her other half, just like I was. Now mine is back, and I am whole again.
At least, I thought I was.
My thoughts drifted back to when we had rescued Vanille…
"Fang!"
"Vanille!" I surged forward, yanking the redhead closer and holding her tightly to me. My eyes flashed around the perimeter, searching for anything that wanted to separate us again. I could feel her arms around me tighten, a silent confirmation that this was real.
Running a hand through her hair, I said, "Don't you ever run away again, you hear me?"
She nodded silently, tears falling down her face. I brushed them away, and pulled her closer, before glancing behind me at the rest of the crew.
Snow and Hope were talking with the older man that was with Vanille, Sazh. He seemed like the kind of man to be the fatherly type to anyone. I assumed that's what he was to Vanille, seeing as she had clung to him as they clambered out of the ship.
My eyes shifted over to Lightning and what I saw made the blood rush from my face. Lightning… She was in pain. Her face was twisted up, looking as if she was about to break down right there, but as soon as I raised one arm to… I don't know, help her somehow, she drew back. I knew what she was thinking, what she was feeling, and I wanted to help her but…
Her gaze turned cold, hard. Those blue eyes that could laugh, smile, and bring warmth were fading; the woman that I had gotten to know on the Lindblum was fading. Instead there was this imposter, this 'stronger' and colder replacement.
"Light…" I choked out.
"We've got to move."
There was an empty hole in my chest now. I've had it ever since I was little. It had gotten worse when Vanille had left, but now with Lightning… I peered at her from the corner of my eye. It's hard to describe, but it's like a mixture of hopelessness, sorrow, and depression gathered right underneath my breast and it radiates to the rest of my body. My limbs become heavier, my mind slower, and my motions sluggish. Nothing exists but the feeling of nothing, of somethingthat should be there but isn't. Something precious that is missing, but you don't know what it is.
It's the worst feeling.
I took a deep breath, clutching Vanille tighter as a safeguard, before looking up to meet Lightning's glare head on. She didn't break the gaze for once and I looked away first, continuing to watch her out of the corner of my eye. Lightning's cold glare drifted from me down to my sister, and my hands clenched tightly, possessively. I could see her swallow tightly, before getting to her feet and stalking off, gun-blade in one hand, and a hell of a lot of anger in the other.
Once her steps had faded, I shifted to peer at the boys. "Sazh!" I hissed. The old man grunted in his sleep, waking the little chocobo hidden in his tightly packed, curly hair. The little, yellow fuzzball poked out of Sazh's hair. "Hey!" The little bird 'Kweh'ed in question. "Wake him for me, would ya?"
A 'kweh' and hard peck later, Sazh was up, grumpy, but understanding as I told him my predicament. He wished me luck, plopping himself down where I was and let Vanille lean on him. The poor girl would have intense nightmares if she didn't feel that someone was near. I slipped into the shadows, the bodies of different sorts of beasties littering the tunnels and caverns of the Ark. Lightning's trail was apparent; the corpses were riddled with bullets and hacked to pieces.
And then I found her, slumped against the wall. I stumbled as my chest felt a sharp, painful, jerk.
Heartbreak can manifest itself – it has been proven.
I guess this is what I was feeling.
"Light…"
Her shoulders stiffened, as she resumed back to her ramrod straight, military position. "Go back to camp, I'm just scouting ahead."
"By yourself? That's smart."
"Fang, I said go."
"And I say, 'Like hell'."
Lightning spun around to face me, her eyes full of anger and hatred. She marched over to me, her breathing hard and uneven and all I thought was that angry or happy she was the most gorgeous woman I had ever seen and –
The next thing I knew, I was sprawled out on the ground, clutching my jaw. Why does she have to be so damn distracting now?I growled, pushing myself off of the floor, only to feel another solid punch knock me back down. Blood trickled out of my mouth, and I spat a glob out.
I laughed bitterly. "Is this how you solve all of your problems, Lightning?"
Another hit landed, this time to the side of my head. "Beatin' the shit out of me isn't going to make this any better!" I roared at her.
I ducked underneath the next fist she threw my way, pulling her on top of me. Quickly, I rolled over, pinning her arms above her head and glaring down at her, furious. "What the hell is with you?"
Lightning turned her head away, avoiding my eyes. I couldn't see clearly in the dim light, but as I reached out to turn her head to face me, I could feel the wet streaks of telltale tears running down her cheeks. "Light…?"
"You left." She whispered, her voice empty and lost.
"What are you…?" My eyes widened as I finally realized what she was talking about – what was making her into an apathetic berserk. I had gotten Vanille back, and had completely ignored Lightning.
"No… Light. Look at me!" I forcefully grabbed her chin and made her make eye contact with me. "I'm sorry." My voice broke, my eyes were pleading with hers. "I'm sorry, I…"
"Forgot? Didn't care? Slipped your mind?" Her voice got louder and louder, the amount of hurt revealing itself in her voice. "Your sister is here, safe. Mine is… mine…"
I laid down atop her, pulling her as tight as humanely possible to me. "Light, I'm so sorry… It won't happen again – ever. I swear it." She didn't reply to me and I pulled back, only inches from her face. "I understand, and I know that I… I left you, I'm sorry." My hands clenched tighter from where they were resting beside either side of Lightning's head. "You feel alone and scared and hurt that the one person that you trusted left you because I got the one thing that brought us two together. I… I don't deserve your forgiveness or understanding – and – and if you never do, I get it. After everything we went through I don't deserve it. But please…" Shaking, I raised one hand to stroke her cheek. Her eyes closed at the touch, leaning in for more contact. "I will help you get Serah back, even if it kills me. And I will never leave you again."
"…Promise." Lightning's eyes opened and fixed me with a rigid stare. "Promise that you'll be by my side, and help me rescue Serah and then…"
"Then we'll both have our happy endings, our other halves, complete."
She nodded.
"I promise, Light."
OOO
We returned to find all of the group still sleeping, our only witness the crackling fire, and a small yellow chocobo keeping guard over its master. I had carried Lightning back to camp – after fighting all of the beasts in the tunnels alone, she had exhausted herself. She threw me a confused look whenever I walked over to Vanille's side and slid to the ground beside her. Lightning went to get up – I assume she is still uncomfortable with seeing a broken similarity repaired that wasn't her – but I held her fast, holding her to me. "Don't go."
She struggled no more after that one request, burrowing herself closer to me as I held her tightly. "Never again, Light. Never."
I held the broken woman together, temporarily healing the open wounds that would not be fixed until finding the one salve that could help her.
Serah.
OOO
