A/N: Yeah, I know. It's been years. I wish I had a good excuse. I completed my last few years of college, graduated in April, got a job in China, moved to China, and officially started teaching about a month ago. I've been meaning to keep writing Viscin for a very long time. I wrote most of this chapter a while back, and then my computer crashed, the chapter disappeared, and I never went back to it until I found it on an old flash drive back in January. I have a lot more free time at this job than I expected, and one of the first things I did was finish and fix this chapter. I'm sorry for the ridiculously long wait. I hope the chapter lives up to expectations. I don't think this story is over yet, but there should only, at most, be one or two more chapters to give it a good ending, I think. Thank you for your patience.
"Hermione?"
The brunette jolted into awareness, judging from the frown on Ron's face that this wasn't the first time he'd said her name. She forced off a blush, sitting up straighter and smiling. "Yes, Ron?"
"We're going to visit Hagrid tonight," Harry said slowly, staring at Hermione shrewdly. "Are you coming?"
"I don't think so," she said. "Tomorrow's the first day and I want to look through our upcoming coursework." Hermione felt both pleased and guilty at how steady her voice was.
Ron rolled his eyes as Harry frowned. "You can't be serious," Harry objected. "We haven't seen Hagrid in weeks!"
"I'll come next time," Hermione said gently. "Tonight's out of the question though."
Ron sighed, continuing to dig into his meal. Harry followed suite, looking angry. Hermione tried to ignore them, forcing another bite of lamb down her throat. She had no appetite for shepherd's pie. She could barely eat; the anxiety was driving her mad.
Suddenly she became very warm and knew instinctively that Snape was watching her. Casually she turned around, as though lazily surveying the room, dragging her eyes slowly across until she met his. She had to stifle a gasp; his black eyes were absolutely piercing. He stared at her unblinkingly, still as the night, unaware of anything else around him. Hermione suddenly found it quite difficult to breathe. She turned back to her food, a thrill of anticipation mixing in with the anxiety.
"I'm not terribly hungry tonight," she said truthfully. "I think I'll head out. See you guys in the morning."
"Night," Ron mumbled to Hermione around his mouthful of food. Harry said nothing. Hermione got up and slipped out of the Great Hall.
She barely noticed anything as she made her way to Gryffindor Tower, her anxieties swelling into an almost blindness. She was ten feet down the wrong corridor before she noticed her mistake and backtracked, thankful that everyone else was still in the Great Hall. When she finally reached the portrait hole she panicked before she remembered the correct password. Hermione collapsed into a chair once inside, trying to calm down. There was no way this was going to happen if she was this stressed out already.
Hermione found herself immensely thankful for her private room, climbing the stairs to the very top and lowering the wards. The door clicked shut behind her. She sat on the edge of the bed, breathing in and out slowly.
This was a moment in her life she had never anticipated sitting through. She'd always imagined that something like tonight would occur spontaneously. The plunge would feel natural, inevitable, and she would take it gladly. Well, that last part was true, but to have planned it ahead of time like this made it much more momentous and daunting than she would have liked.
As she approached her dresser drawer her resolve faltered temporarily. She had no idea what to wear for this occasion. She cursed her lack of foresight. Certainly a private purchase of some lingerie would have been a good idea, or at least something other than the normal plain, cotton underthings she wore. She couldn't very well wear the only nice set she had, the one she'd worn when she'd tried to seduce him last month, could she? She fervently wished, for a moment, that she could consult Ginny on this matter.
Hermione paused.
Why couldn't she? She could insist on the identity of her paramour remaining secret, imply that it was a Slytherin (true), someone they would not approve of (true), and that she would rather it all remained a secret until school was let out (definitely true). In that case, she wouldn't even have to lie. Much.
But Ginny was crafty. There was no one in the school to whom it would be stupider to give the beginnings of a gossip without the middle or end.
Hermione sighed. That idea was shot, then. She leafed through her collection of underwear, cringing mentally. She had choices of white, beige, and other neutral colors that weren't the least bit sexy, plus the one set he'd already seen, which just seemed like a terrible idea to her for reasons she couldn't actually explain. What if he thinks I only own one pair of underthings?
She pushed it all aside, and there in the back was a black set, similarly plain but at least the color was much better. She'd had to buy it when attending the myriad funerals at the end of last summer. The thought momentarily depressed her, but she ignored it, laying out the set out on her bed before pausing.
What to wear on top?
Again, she moaned internally, placing her head in her hands. Why was this so hard?
Okay. Okay, she was smart. She could do this. Obviously nothing too conspicuous; she would have to walk through the halls wearing this ensemble, after all. A skirt would be a good idea, but not her school outfit. That was probably the worst choice she could make. That set some very specific parameters. Feeling more confident, she went to her closet, leafing through its meager offerings. She had a black skirt which went to her knees; she could easily shorten it, just a little. And there, a red top, not the sexiest of its kind but of good material.
She dressed slowly in front of the mirror, determinedly telling herself the good things about her body as she did so. Her stomach was flat, but not too much. Lavender's body had always been razor-thin; the girl practically starved herself and she looked younger than her years because of it. Hermione had never understood Lavender's obsession with her weight. No, Hermione had some curves, enough to, hopefully, keep any thoughts of her age firmly out of Severus's mind. Her breasts were of decent size, not huge like Millicent's or barely-there like Ginny's. For the first time that night, Hermione stood, fully dressed, feeling rather confident in herself. It was ridiculous that she had sat there and gone through so many insecurities earlier. If Severus had made anything clear it was that he desired her, and she wasn't going to contradict him on the matter. If it was true, then why should she worry about it?
She slipped on her flats, put on her cloak, grabbed her wand, and left the room, warding it again behind her. She was about to push the portrait open to the hallway when she heard her name being called. Ginny was standing behind her, brows furrowed. Hermione fought to quell her panic.
"Where are you going?"
"Library," she lied easily. "I want to look through the coursework for tomorrow. I may go use the Prefect's bathroom at some point," she added. Giving one definitive location was a sure way to get caught. "It might be good to try to relax before my last semester starts."
Ginny nodded. "The boys seem to be mad."
Hermione sighed, rolling her eyes. "Of course they are. I'm not just going to follow them everywhere, though. They know I love Hagrid; I just want some me time tonight."
"Perfectly understood," Ginny said with a grin. "I'd do the same if I weren't dating one of them. How late do you think you'll be gone?"
Hermione shrugged. "Probably late. I really have no idea. Not having a curfew is wonderful sometimes."
"I'll bet," Ginny commented wryly. "Well, enjoy yourself. Hey - I'm debating doing a private Transfiguration project for McGonagall this semester, but I wanted to have several options before I brought it to her; can you look through them with me tomorrow?"
"Oh, of course! That sounds wonderful."
Ginny laughed. "Oh, Hermione, never change. I'll see you tomorrow."
"You two, Gin," Hermione agreed, happy that Ginny seemed to have completely forgiven her. With a smile on her face, she finally stepped out of Gryffindor Tower, and into the night.
The clock chimed 7 and she wasn't there yet. Snape was beside himself with anxiety. She's not coming. All those promises, all those moments, and she's not coming. I am a complete fool.
He'd paced around the room, marked some essays angrily, sent Edward away, and debated drinking his entire firewhiskey stash before it occurred to him that drunken was not the way he had planned to spend tonight. And now he sat by the fire, sulking, glaring at the flames as though they had personally offended him. She's not coming.
And then, like blessed water in a drought, his wards detected her presence.
He was up in a flash, rushing out of his private quarters and through the door to his office and his classroom beyond. She was just closing the door behind her when he appeared, stopping abruptly in his tracks. She whirled around as he arrived, her eyes meeting his across the classroom, a blush settling beautifully on her cheeks.
"Hermione," he breathed, and her answering smile set his heart pounding.
"Severus," she agreed, sliding her cloak off her shoulders, and he sucked in a breath, surprised to see her in a black-and-red ensemble which accented everything right about her figure. She walked to him with that same smile on her face. When she reached him she laid her palm against his face, eyes sparkling.
"You seem calm," he commented, unable to hide his surprise.
Hermione chuckled. "I had a good moment on the way here. I'm sorry I took so long. Female insecurities, I'm afraid."
He grasped her around the waist, pulling her close. "I can hardly see why you'd need those," he whispered silkily, and finally kissed her as he'd been waiting to do all night. It was tender, one of the few tender kisses he'd had in life. She responded just as sweetly, lacing her arms around his neck and pressing her lithe form into his. As she pulled away, he heard her sigh softly, and place her head by his neck.
"Thank you," she acknowledged, and he quietly murmured affirmation, running his hand lightly down her back.
"Shall we retire to the bedroom?" he whispered. She tensed, pulling back to look at him in wonder before once again smiling.
"Yes," she agreed, eyes shining, and he felt a jolt go through him as he led her backwards, through his office and into his quarters beyond.
Hermione had always wondered, long before this thing had started, about Severus Snape's quarters. Now that she was in them, walking through them, she barely had time to take them in, dark as they were. Books were everywhere, with shelves of them lining the walls, stacks of them on every available surface, and several of them open on the stand by a comfortable-looking chair. In contrasts, the kitchen was spotless, and the bathroom, for the few seconds they moved past it, was lined in tile, and beautiful. Seconds later, they were stopped in front of a door, and the butterflies of earlier returned in full force as he opened it. Turning to her, grasping her hand gently, he led her into the darkened room beyond, his eyes positively shining.
"The light-"
"No," she interrupted, immediately, and she heard him chuckle as he closed the door. Moonlight streamed in from a window, and she could see faint outlines of the man in front of her. He stepped closer to her, pulling her into an embrace.
"What if I wish to see you?" he whispered into her ear.
"I'd really rather you didn't," she confessed, breathing in his scent.
"I won't protest," he continued, "but I must admit, my dear, that I have dreamed of tracing my tongue along your curves as I drink in the visage of your beauty. I've pondered running my hands along the seams of your body, noting with eyes, lips, and hands the places that make you gasp. I've longed for the image of your face as you said my name, to warm me in the coldest nights when the heat of your body is far-"
"Dear God, Severus," she protested, clasping a hand over his mouth, "please, put the lights on. I don't think I can take any more."
He laughed then, and with a roar the fireplace was lit, the sconces on the wall flared to life, and the room was bathed in a subtle glow. She raised her eyebrows.
"Do you normally light your room this way?"
He smirked. "Only on special occasions."
"Mmm," she hummed. "And this is a special occasion, is it?"
He nosed her hair by her left temple. "Yes," he whispered, kissing above her left eye. "It certainly is." His lips found her forehead, her nose, the corner of her mouth, and then she turned her head until their lips met. Mouths open, his hands tightened around her waist, and the fire in the room settled itself in their bellies to begin a subtle roar.
She moaned into his kiss, and he deepened it, pulling her flush against him. Her arms slid up his chest to wind around his neck, and she arched her back, giving herself into the sensations. He pulled her shirt lose from the skirt, sliding his hands underneath to meet the warm skin of her back.
He left off her mouth to trail hot, open-mouthed kisses along her neck, down to her collarbone, where he encountered the shirt he had liked so much until this exact moment. "Off," he murmured, tugging up, and she lifted her hands obligingly.
The cool air hit her skin, and a delicate flush settled itself along her cheekbones and upper chest. She barely had time to be embarrassed, as he pulled her back to him, tongues engaging in that age-old duel. He stroked along the roof of her mouth, and she rewarded him with a shiver before she bit gently on his lower lip, and he groaned.
"Hermione," he said throatily, and bent his head to plant heavy kisses along the tops of her breasts. She gasped, loudly, eyes sliding closed. His hands reached behind her back to fumble with the clasp. She looked down at the top of his head, slightly amused, and witnessed the rare sight of color beginning to stain his cheeks.
"For future reference," he muttered, "you are forbidden to wear one of these in my presence."
She giggled, and he relaxed. "Yes, sir," she murmured.
The clasp finally came undone, and he stepped back, his hands trailing down her arms. She smiled, realizing he was leaving the choice with her, and she slid the straps down her arms and let the garment slide to the floor. To her surprise, his eyes remained focused on her face, and he cupped her chin with his right hand, stroking the soft skin there before leaning in to capture her mouth again. She hummed happily. His hands stroked her hips, first, then the soft skin of her belly, his thumb dipping into her navel before stroking upward to finally cup the undersides of her breasts. She gasped, a sound he swallowed with his mouth, gripping onto his shoulders as her cupped her full breasts with his whole hands. "You are so beautiful," he told her, kissing down the side of her face, then her shoulder, before licking around her right areola and pulling her taut nipple into his waiting mouth.
Her hands fisted deeply into his hair as she felt her knees go weak. Lightening shivered down her body from where his lips latched onto her breast, pooling molten between her legs. She gasped his name, and he kissed her between breasts before switching to her left. Her world began to narrow to just them, in this beautifully lit room far away from the hectic banality of everyday Hogwarts. She had a desperate desire to feel his skin that intensified with every moment he suckled at her.
She let go of his hair to find the top button of his frock. "Off," she whispered, echoing him earlier, as she began to undo the (many, many, too many) buttons. He chuckled around her skin, before sucking one more time and pulling back to help her divest him of his clothing.
The frock coat came off first, eventually, followed by his undershirt, and then there was only his pale, pale skin, stretched taut across lean muscle, peppered with many scars of varying sizes. She assaulted him immediately, lips and tongue tracing those lines, and was rewarded by his strangled, surprised intake of breath. Her lips found his nipples, flatter and wider than hers, and caused him to moan deliciously.
"Bed," he said, in a voice that brokered no argument (an argument she never would have given, anyway). She grinned as he took her arm, pulling her with him to the side of the plain but comfortable-looking bed.
They kissed, deeply, and his hands found the zipper of her skirt, sliding it down and pushing her skirt and underwear down together. She shimmied out of them, kicking them aside as she worked on the clasps of his pants. Once similarly divested, his hands slipped under her ass, lifting her smoothly to the bed. She scooted back to the head of it, expecting him to follow her, but he stayed where he was, staring at her nakedness hungrily, his eyes expressing his admiration better than words ever could. A few tense seconds later, he knelt on the bed, and then slowly crawled to her until he was situated between her legs, looking up at her. She reached up to trace the line of his jaw, before pulling him to her for a sweetly searing kiss.
He balanced on his left forearm, his right tracing the inside of his thigh before, finally, cupping her mound gently. He dipped one long finger inside, spreading the proof of her desire up to circle the taut bundle of nerves at the top. She moaned breathlessly into his mouth as he played with her, breaking the kiss to lean her head back, eyes fluttering closed. He kissed down her body, slowly, taking special care to dip his tongue into her navel. She giggled, then, before he continued down further. A sense of wonder – and insecurity – spread through her as she realized what he was doing.
"Severus," she began, but stopped as he planted a love bite on the inside of her thigh. "Severus," she repeated, her voice throatier, "you don't… you really don't have to-"
"Oh yes I do," he interrupted. "I've been looking forward to this for a long time."
Her eyes widened in surprise, then rolled back in her head with the first lick of his tongue across her clitoris. She collapsed back into the pillow, her right hand reaching up to try to find purchase behind her as he licked her folds.
All of this was new to her, from the moment she'd entered the bedroom, but this, this particular act… she'd read about it but never imagined what it would actually feel like. She hadn't known that the touch of his tongue to her most private area would send spikes of pleasure so intense she could barely breathe throughout her body, flooding her with sensation. Her voice rose, higher and higher, moans that she would never have believed came from her if she'd heard them. Her body tensed in surprise, in uncertainty, as he continued, and no matter how many times she came close to something, she never quite reached the precipice. The third time she approached it, she sobbed with frustration as it ebbed away.
He lifted up, wiping his mouth on the bedcovers discreetly, pulling up next to her. "You have to relax, Hermione," he whispered, running a soft, warm hand down her flank. She shivered, leaning into him.
"I don't know how," she replied, piteously. "I've never…" she paused, looking at him underneath her eyelashes.
"I know," he said, kissing her forehead. "You're so tense. Take deep breaths. Tell me what doesn't feel right."
His hand stroked lazily, now, back to her center and began to run slowly around her clit again. Her thighs tensed automatically, and his mouth found the curve of her neck. "Relax," he repeated, and she took a breath, as he'd requested, and let her legs fall apart again on the exhale.
The sensations started again. His fingers remained slow, this time, almost lazy, and she felt the fire burning hotter than before. "A little lower," she murmured, and he moved his finger down incrementally. Suddenly the flames fanned out, and she gasped, loudly.
"Stay relaxed," he warned. She looked at him, found his eyes so close to hers, smoldering. "Don't fight it," he murmured, moving his lips to her left temple.
The precipice was there, and this time she could feel it coming. He didn't speed up, his finger still drawing slow circles around the circumference of her clitoris, and suddenly she was there, and her breath left her in one low, keening cry as her body lifted off the bed. His mouth crashed over hers, swallowing her gasping breaths as it happened. He continued to stroke her, pumping his finger against that spot, drawing the fire down slowly until the embers remained, waiting.
"Oh my God," she whispered into the skin of his neck when coherency returned, and he chuckled. She opened her eyes, and blushed deeply at the self-satisfied smirk on his face.
"You did well," he said, and his eyes made her feel so warm. So she kissed him, again. He wrapped his arms around her, both on their sides, and pulled her tightly into him, kissing her deeply. She could taste something musky on him, something new, and realized with a faint hint of disgust that it was her. But when his tongue stroked against hers again, and he lifted her leg across his hip, that thought faded. She could feel his engorged penis brush against the top of her labia, and suddenly she was light-headed again.
"I want you," she told him, her arms around his shoulders.
"Yes," he said, rolling her onto her back. "Relax," he repeated, again, as a sudden uncertainty welled up in her. "Just relax your legs." He pressed warm kisses to her neck and shoulders as he positioned himself, and thrust, shallowly, then deeper, slowly stretching her.
It felt so alien, and she had to keep breathing, her eyes squeezed shut, as her body struggled to adjust.
"Fuck, Hermione," he breathed in her ear, and the harsh words sent an ache to her belly that helped her body settle more into the bed sheets as she smiled.
Finally, he was fully in, filling her entirely. It still felt odd. She'd read about it, expected that, but as he began to move she was still disappointed that it didn't yet feel good the way she knew it was supposed to. She opened her eyes, and stared in wonder at the enraptured, nearly pained looked on his face as he stroked inside her with his cock.
"God," he hissed. "Hermione, I'm not… I won't last long."
She stroked his face with her hand, a delicate, happy feeling washing over her. She was making him feel this way. She'd never felt a power like this before. "It's fine, Severus," she whispered, pressing a sweet kiss to his mouth. "I want to see you."
His hips jerked sporadically, and he emitted a high groan, a vulnerable sound that unexpectedly made her heart ache in her chest. She pulled his head down to her chest as he breathed, as he came down from his high, and pressed kisses to the top of his forehead. He weighed her down. She felt weightless.
Eventually, he regained enough strength to pull away from her, roll off and on to his side, and she turned with him, grimacing slightly at the feel of the result of their lovemaking sliding down her thighs. She hadn't thought to grab a towel, not… not this first time.
His eyes opened, and he looked at her in awe, his hand coming up to brush her sweat-soaked curls, rattier than usual in the aftermath, off her face. "I'll be right back," he whispered, before he stood and walked haphazardly out of the room, his usually impeccable motor skills diminished slightly in the way of his orgasm. She smiled and felt her whole body relax into the softness of his bed.
Her eyes opened again as the mattress dipped down, and she realized she drifted off for a second. The smirk on his face told her he noticed. He maneuvered her legs to clean her with a warm cloth, and she was surprised by the gentleness of his touch. The normally acerbic Potions Master was nowhere to be found.
A whisper from him, his hand over the bed sheets, and she felt them dry under her as he reached up to pull the covers down. "Get under," he ordered, and she groaned as she lifted her tired body to move underneath the covers. It was worth it when he joined her, and his hands around her waist pulled her close to him. She rested her head on his shoulder, humming appreciatively.
"How long can you stay?" he asked.
She chuckled. "Until Ginny notices I'm gone. I have no idea."
Severus grumbled something intelligible, and she giggled again. His eyes met hers, dancing merrily. "I really don't care if she notices I'm gone, Severus," she admitted.
He frowned. "I told you before, I-"
"Let's not right now," she amended. "I'm sorry I said it. We can talk about that in the morning. I just want to stay in your bed for now."
His face softened again, and though he said nothing, the lights winked out. "Turn around," he said, and she did, fitting herself flush against him. His legs twined with hers, and she had never felt safer.
She was asleep instantly.
She awoke in the night. They'd shifted. He was on his back, her head on his stomach. She could feel him breath, and she closed her eyes to absorb the sensation. She wasn't sure how she got in the position. She sat up slowly, finding that the harsh planes of his face, even in sleep, were not that altered. A giddy bubble of happiness rose through her. She was a lover. She had a lover.
She lay there a while, listening to him breathe, trying to absorb this new feeling. She didn't really feel that different. She was still her. But still, this emotion bursting in her chest was brand new, an adult perception of the fumbling pseudo-idea that had formed between her and Ron before. It was better. It was so much better.
Eventually, she slid out the other end of the bed, careful not to wake him, and went to his study. She lit a couple sconces and walked to and fro past the bookshelves, absorbing the titles she hoped he'd let her read, noting a couple she was certain he wouldn't (yet). He was as broadly read as she, his library speaking to the same insatiable curiosity about everything academic. She noted with an amused smile that he had exactly one volume on Divination, and it wasn't a particularly flattering title.
"Leaving so soon?"
He said it in a drawl. She turned, clutching the dressing gown she'd stolen from his bathroom tighter. He raised a single eyebrow, and she blushed. "I couldn't sleep," she admitted.
He leaned against the doorjamb, his black eyes glittering in the lamplight. "And you wanted time to decide which books of mine to steal?"
She laughed. "I barely know where to begin," she confessed. "You have so many I've been dying to read."
He strode into the room, his eyes scanning his shelves before selecting one thin volume. "Your favorite subject is Arithmancy, right?" he asked, smirking.
She gasped as she read the cover. "I thought… how did you get a copy of this?"
"Old family heirloom. It was my mother's."
She clutched it to her chest, beaming at him. He felt his heart swell and he stepped closer, pressing a kiss to the top of her forehead. "You really should go back to your room," he whispered. She was surprised to hear regret in his tone. She sighed, leaning into his broad chest.
"I know. Consequences be damned, though, I really don't want to."
"You can say that right now, but I know you, Hermione. You don't want to get caught here."
She sighed again, pulling away. "Fine. I'll go change. But we need to plan out how I can stay the night on occasion, for the future," she called as she meandered sleepily to his bathroom.
He watched her go, trying to fit the odd, warm swell inside his chest with a feeling he understood. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt like this, and he tried to push it down, but when she re-emerged minutes later, her hair done up in a slight ponytail, tired but still bright-eyed, it swelled outward again, threatening to burst free from his chest like a living thing, and he found himself enfolding her into his arms.
"Be careful," he whispered, as he walked her out to his classroom, and then up to the door.
"I'm always careful," she teased, and leaned up to press a sweet, closed-mouthed kiss to him, before turning and heading up the stairs. He watched her go, hands clasped behind his back, and found that, despite his full effort, he could not stop the smile that forced its way, unnaturally, across his mouth. And he realized, with a start, and a brief feeling of fear, that the feeling he didn't recognize was happiness. He was happy.
A/N: Please review! Thank you for reading :)
