Over the course of the next several days, Sasuke got in the habit of forcing himself to throw up after every single meal. He was tired of hearing Naruto call him fat every day at school, tired of his father always calling him the Uchiha dead last. Would his father's eyes never open? Sasuke was wasting away in front of them and they were too blind to see it. It didn't help that Itachi was away on missions more than he was home lately. Sasuke found that he really missed his brother and could use someone to talk to. Would Itachi understand though? He didn't know that Sasuke cut himself to try and ease the pain of his own father's rejection. Sasuke knew his father wouldn't understand, he would probably claim that it was a cry for attention, when in truth it was something far more than that. Sasuke didn't believe that he could be rid of the depression that seemed to weigh on his shoulders more and more with each passing day.

"Sasuke, what do you think you are doing to yourself?" Itachi asked. "it's disgusting and shameful. Do you not have any pride in your Uchiha name?"

"What's to be proud of?" Sasuke asked "I might as well not be an Uchiha, just ask Father. He says it often enough. I don't perform like an Uchiha."

"If you would get your mind off of your current problems maybe you could perform well." Itachi pointed out. "you seem to me to be more and more distracted every day."

"That loser Naruto" Sasuke muttered turning away from his brother. "No one likes him but he thinks he has the right to put me down."

"Is there any truth to what he says?" Itachi asked "there is no reason why he would lie." Sasuke looked down at his thinner than ever body. Everyday Naruto called him fat, and Sasuke would either end up throwing his lunch away or eating it and throwing it up. Sasuke had already lost several pounds but how was it he was still fat? It couldn't be the truth could it?

"Why are you suddenly siding with Father anyways?" Sasuke asked abruptly turning back around to face Itachi. "You have never agreed with him before?"

"I've been my time on my missions thinking about your current situation" Itachi replied "enough time that my men have been hurt because I haven't been paying attention. Father is right, you don't work hard enough." Itachi pointed out "You spend too much time thinking about yourself and not about how you can help the clan." Sasuke shook his head, he should have known that he couldn't even trust his own brother. If Itachi couldn't understand what he was going through who could? Would it be better to off himself? That way no one would have to worry about the shame that he was bringing down on the Uchiha clan.

Turning away from his brother, Sasuke faced the window, wondering about the best way to go about killing himself. He didn't want to be found in the complex, because that would give someone the chance of stopping him. He would have to tell his parents he was going out to train or something. His father couldn't argue with him about that, and he doubted his mother would come looking for him for several hours after he was supposed to come home for dinner. How could he end it though, poison would work quicker than slitting his wrists, and it would be less messy. Even though Sasuke didn't really care if they would have a mess to clean up or not. He supposed he could go to the valley of the end and jump of the cliff, though he didn't like the idea of breaking his bones and then not succeeding in killing himself.

"Are you thinking about your own petty problems again" Itachi's voice interrupted Sasuke's thoughts. "That's your biggest problem of all you don't think about anyone else."

"That's not true" Sasuke muttered "I am thinking about how much easier everyone's life will be once I kill myself. You could continue with your missions and not have to worry about your selfish little brother." Sasuke snapped, wishing that he could somehow convey his pain to his brother so that Itachi could understand how he felt.

"You don't have the guts to kill yourself." Itachi said "You won't even have the guts to try."

Sasuke sat up breathing hard, he hated it when he dreamed about conversations like that with his brother. Itachi had never been one to be so judgmental, and Sasuke was certain that Itachi would actually be able to understand his pain, unlike the Itachi in his dream. Sasuke couldn't help but wonder though if it came down to it if disappearing would be the best way to kill himself. He was certain no one would come after him for a little while, at least not until he was gone.

If the worst came down to it Sasuke thought that's what I will do, I will disappear never to be heard from again. It made him sad that his own life would come down to that, when it could have been prevented in the first place, if they had just cared enough to look past his appearance.

Hearing footsteps coming down the hall, Sasuke jumped up and crossed his room to open the door. He found Itachi slowly walking with one hand against the wall for support.

"What happened Itachi?" Sasuke asked with concern in his voice. Itachi usually never came home hurt. He was too good at what he done to get injured.

"I was too distracted" Itachi said a little too harshly, he didn't see Sasuke cringe.

"I've been my time on my missions thinking about your current situation" Itachi replied "enough time that my men have been hurt because I haven't been paying attention." Itachi's dream words came back to haunt Sasuke and he found himself slipping back into his room without saying another word. Silently closing the door Sasuke made his way back to his bed, but not before grabbed his newly sharpened kunai off the dresser. Maybe his brother did think that Sasuke was selfish and that he didn't work hard enough. Sasuke closed his eyes, as he pressed the kunai to his arm, not caring whether it was in a place where he could keep it hidden or not. If his brother couldn't try to understand him than what was the point in trying to beat his depression?

Swallowing, hard, Sasuke made a thin cut on his arm, opening his eyes, he watched the blood drop onto his comforter. Sasuke smiled darkly, watching the blood. His emotional pain seemed to slide away with each drop of blood. He didn't have to worry about his brother rejecting him as well as their father. He couldn't bring himself to care about anything.

Sasuke didn't hear the door open or his father enter the room to catch him as he got ready to make another shallow slice on his arm.

"What do you think you are doing?" His father yelled catching Sasuke by surprise, his father reached out and grabbed Sasuke's arm, his tight grip causing Sasuke to wince.

"Do you really care?" Sasuke asked, staring into his father's angry gaze.

"Do you know that you have just brought dishonor to this family?" his father shouted. "No one in this family has ever gone to the extremes that you have to dishonor the Uchiha name."

"Is that really all you care about?" Sasuke wondered looking away from his father. "is honor going to make people love you when you've lost everything?" Fugaku glared at Sasuke and roughly jerked him off the bed. Sasuke paused in front of his mirror not wanting to see his imperfection. What really stared back at him was a sickly thin boy who needed help but didn't realize it. Sasuke didn't really that he had already lost more weight than he could afford to. He still someone who couldn't even live up to the expectations of his enemy's much less his own father.

"You make me sick" Fugaku snarled shoving Sasuke out of his bedroom and into the wall, to stand in front of his brother and mother.

"I just found him cutting himself." Fugaku said "Itachi I want you to take all of his kunai and shuriken. He won't get them until he needs them for school. Even then his teachers will be told of what he likes to do with them. You have brought much shame and dishonor to this family Sasuke. I hope you can live with yourself."

Sasuke didn't need to look up to feel the disappointed looks coming from his mother and brother. Could he do nothing right? Sasuke couldn't help the tears that pooled in his eyes. Even now his father couldn't see that Sasuke was dying inside. All he needed was a few words of approval and to not be compared to Itachi and none of this would have even happened.

"You could have prevented this from happening." Sasuke said darkly, his hands clinched into fists as he stared down at the floor. "None of this would have ever happened if it wasn't for you. Just remember what happens from here on out is on you." that being said, Sasuke yanked his arm out of his father's painfully tight grip and reentered his bedroom. It looked like his plan would go into effect earlier than he had planned.

Laying down on his bed, Sasuke buried his face in his pillow. Was honor all that anyone cared about in this family? He had sensed more than seen Itachi's disappointment, and that hurt Sasuke more than anything. He never wanted to disappoint Itachi, but apparently that's all that Sasuke was good for. Bringing disappointment and dishonor. He meant it when he said it was his father's fault for what was to come. Sasuke's death could have been prevented if he had taken the time to be a little more understanding of Sasuke's issues instead of humiliating him with them.

"Blaming our father, isn't going to make things better for you." Itachi said quietly entering the room, and closing the door behind him. Sasuke sighed, he didn't want to get into this with Itachi right now, he had plans that needed to be made.

"I am only putting the blame where it belongs." Sasuke replied "I always thoughts that you would understand, but even you only care about honoring the Uchiha name."

"Why?" Itachi asked ignoring Sasuke's accusation. "Why are you doing this if you know it will only bring shame to our father."

"I think you already know why" Sasuke answered "but deep down you want to ignore what is staring at you in the face because you don't know how, or you don't want to deal with it." Itachi sighed, Sasuke was right, Itachi had the feeling why Sasuke was doing this, he just hoped he was wrong. How could he help his little brother? There had to be someway to help Sasuke see that everything he was going through wasn't for nothing, but it was to help him become strong in case trouble ever came calling. He wished he could put an end to Sasuke's hurting, but he knew for a change his father was right. Cutting wasn't the way to do it. Neither was starving himself which by the amount of weight Sasuke had lost lately is something else he was doing. Did his brother want to be away from their father that badly that he would slowly kill himself over it? Reaching out, Itachi put his hand on Sasuke's too thin shoulder.

"If you want to be free from what you are feeling you are going about it the wrong way." Itachi said quietly, he couldn't stand the thought that his little brother was hurting so much that he wanted to die just to be free from it.

"I'm tired of hurting, Itachi." Sasuke said his voice sounding robotic. "Father doesn't care about anything but family honor. Who cares that their child is on the verge of suicide as long as it doesn't bring shame to the Uchiha name."

"I think if anything ever happened to you, it would hurt Father deeper than you realize." Itachi said "he loves you but he doesn't always show it in the best of ways."

"Sure" Sasuke mumbled "He's always telling me he loves me by telling me that I need to be more like you, and that I need to work harder."

"Don't hurt yourself anymore." Itachi said "it would bring more than dishonor to the Uchiha name if you were to continue going down the path that you are going." Itachi stood and walked towards the door.

"By the way Mother says it's time to eat."

"I'm not hungry" Sasuke replied, not bothering to turn around, if he had he would have seen the tears that dropped from Itachi's eyes and rolled down his cheek. He feared his brother was closer to taking his own life than anyone even realized.

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