They had been sitting in a Charms lesson, laughing at James' attempts to take Lily's concentration away from the levitating feather. Professor McGonagall had knocked on the door, and requested that she, 'speak to Remus Lupin, immediately'. Knowing what was coming, the laughter fell from Remus' face, and he walked out of class, not looking back to see Sirius' reassuring smile, Lily's eyes full of worry or James' anxious glare at anyone who sniggered at Remus as he walked by, he even missed Peter's look of confusion, as he sat wondering why his friend Remus was in trouble, wondering why Sirius or James weren't in trouble too.
Accompanied by a sullen Remus, Professor McGonagall headed to her office nearby. She motioned for Remus to sit, and once he had, she handed him a mug of hot chocolate, knowing of his fascination. The dread he felt for the expected news, had drained him of all other emotions, he neither felt interested or happy to be drinking hot chocolate, in fact, he barely touched a drop.
"There is no way to say this, Remus," she began, and Remus knew it was definitely bad news, as there had never been a moment when Professor McGonagall had referred to any student by their first name, "I am afraid, your mother passed away a couple of hours ago," she finished, watching the last bit of hope drain from Remus' face.
Biting his lip, so to prevent any tears from falling, he stood up and left the room, a concerned Professor watched after him. He had known it was coming, but even so, the news felt like a bullet through his heart, each time he remembered his Professor's words. Without having noticed his surroundings, amidst his grief, Remus headed up to his dormitory, and pulled aside his curtains. After climbing onto his bed, without removing his shoes, he pulled his knees up to his chest and sat staring at the pale curtain opposite him.
For the first few minutes, he was merely feeling empty, but gradually, more and more feelings crept into him; Guilt. Guilt over having spent the past hour laughing away in Charms, whilst his mother had been suffering terribly. Guilt over having used his mother's illness as an excuse when he had to hide out under the Whomping Willow each month for three years. As the guilt and the grief consumed him, Remus put his head between his knees, letting the tears he had hidden, fall down his cheeks silently.
In his head he remembered the way his mother used to kiss him goodnight, and the way she used to make chocolate cupcakes to cheer him up after having spent the night as a wolf. He was so consumed with his memories, that he did not hear the door open. He did not notice when his best friend pulled aside the curtain slightly, to check on his friend. "Remus," was all Sirius had said, before he sat down on Remus' bed beside him, pulling him into a big warm hug. Small gasps came from Remus' lips as his pain and sorrow consumed him. Sirius could only listen in anguish at his friend having to go through something like this. It made Sirius think about his own mother, and how he could never have felt the way Remus was doing, after her death.
A small choking sound, took Sirius away from his thoughts. He pulled Remus away from his chest slightly, to look at him. His eyes were red and swollen, emptying of tears before they have time to fill up again. The choking sound increased slightly, and so Sirius began to rub his friend's arm, trying to get him out of the hysterics. "Come on, Remus," he whispered softly. Remus, wanting to comply, could only glance at Sirius, the pain clear in his eyes. The anguish reached out and threatened to overcome Sirius too, until he remembered that, as a friend, it was his duty to make sure Remus was okay. And so, without a thought, Sirius pressed his lips softly to Remus' forehead, keeping them there as he felt Remus gain control of his breathing once more. Moving back, Sirius looked down at his friend. Surprise was in his emotions, lost amidst all the gloom and terror. Sirius gave a reassuring smile to Remus, who returned a small, nervous one to his friend.
As Remus' thoughts were momentarily away from his dead mother, Sirius thought about what to do. Should he? The brief pause was too much, as Remus' eyes filled with tears once more, again feeling guilty; how could he smile, when his mother had just died? Sirius pulled Remus forward for another hug. As they rested their heads above each other's shoulders, the two of them sat there, filled with different emotions. Sirius felt the change in Remus' breathing sooner this time, and began to rub his back once more, "Remus, please calm down," he begged, "Remus please," he continued as his friends breathing increased, "Moony," Sirius tried once more, a little sterner.
What happened next hurt Sirius worse of all; as Remus' breathing slowed, he bit at his lip briefly, before a wave of hopelessness washed over him and he hid his head against Sirius' shoulder, crying harder than he had before. The hopelessness was hard for Sirius to see. After all, Remus had always been the strong, independent one. This lapse reminded Sirius of how much he needed his friends, and it gave him an idea of how much Remus needed him right now.
They stayed like that for a while, as Remus diffused all of his self hatred and sorrow. Eventually, the two of them were lying on top of Remus covers, Sirius stroking his friend's hair soothingly. Remus sat up, leaning on his arm, to look down at his friend. A small, nervous smile played over his lips as he flushed, embarrassed at his outburst. Understanding, Sirius shook his head, "Don't feel bad about it, I'm glad I was here to help you," Sirius said quietly, reassuring Remus. Remus nodded, and although he knew the answer, he felt the need to ask anyway, "Has she really gone?" he asked, as a single tear fell down his cheek. Sirius nodded, sitting up and resting a hand on Remus' shoulder, looking directly into his eyes, "But she hasn't truly left you; she will always be here," he finished, placing his other hand upon Remus' heart.
Looking down at his friends hand, Remus smiled. It was neither a sad smile, nor a happy smile. But it didn't end in a flood of tears, it ended with a small nod from Sirius, pleased to see that his friend was ready to live his life again, after getting over the shock. They hugged again briefly, before departing.
