Chapter 3: Ziva's Mourning
The traditional Kaddish prayer in no moment mentions death; It goes on and on about how we should praise and glorify the Almighty, the Great G-d, maker of heavens and earth.
It's the utmost show of love to our G-d to be able to praise him when our soul is bleeding, and our mind is clouded with doubt and pain.
We make a small tear on our clothing (keriah קריעה) in order to show our pain for the loss of our loved one.
For the loss of a parent, the tear should be over one's heart.
The Avelut (mourning) period is divided in three distinct periods.
During Shiva, we visit the house of the mourner, and we do not exchange pleasantries or greetings. It is unnecessary. It's not even required for the mourner to acknowledge the visitor.
So, they will sit there, together, sharing the burden of their pain, until the mourner decides whether or not to speak to us.
This period lasts for seven days.
The second period, named Shloshim, lasts for one month. In it a mourner is forbidden to marry or to attend seudat mitzvah. Men do not shave or get haircuts during this time.
We might sit to learn the Torah together, seeking in its ancient words the comfort for the cold reality we live in.
The third period is named Shneim asar chodesh, which will finish only exactly one year counted from the day of death.
We go back to our normal routine: we go to work, to school, to the synagogue. The Kaddish prayer is still recited through out the year at the synagogue though.
And we, one year later, will light a Yahrtzeit candle in order to celebrate their death.
So I sit here, in my apartment, and recite the Kaddish for the man who had, during so many years, being more like a father than the one who is now in Israel, who trained me to be his weapon in his endless war that took so many I've loved from me.
I lean my head forward, feeling the tears falling unchecked from my eyes, and seek solace in the G-d of my people, hoping to find a cool balm to the pain that festers in my heart, for a senseless death which I have no one to blame.
No one to seek revenge.
Yit-gadal v'yit-kadash sh'may raba b'alma dee-v'ra che-ru-tay, ve'yam-lich mal-chutay b'chai-yay-chon uv'yo-may-chon uv-cha-yay d'chol beit Yisrael, ba-agala u'vitze-man ka-riv, ve'imru amen.
Y'hay sh'may raba me'varach le-alam uleh-almay alma-ya.
Yit-barach v'yish-tabach, v'yit-pa-ar v'yit-romam v'yit-nasay, v'yit-hadar v'yit-aleh v'yit-halal sh'may d'koo-d'shah, b'rich hoo. layla (ool-ayla)* meen kol beer-chata v'she-rata, toosh-b'chata v'nay-ch'mata, da-a meran b'alma, ve'imru amen.
Y'hay sh'lama raba meen sh'maya v'cha-yim aleynu v'al kol Yisrael, ve'imru amen.
O'seh shalom beem-romav, hoo ya'ah-seh shalom aleynu v'al kol Yisrael, ve'imru amen.
Magnified and sanctified be G-d's great name in the world which He created according to His will. May he establish His kingdom during our lifetime and during the lifetime of Israel. Let us say, Amen.
May G-d's great name be blessed forever and ever.
Blessed, glorified, honored and extolled, adored and acclaimed be the name of the Holy One, though G-d is beyond all praises and songs of adoration which can be uttered. Let us say, Amen.
May there be peace and life for all of us and for all Israel. Let us say, Amen.
Let He who makes peace in the heavens, grant peace to all of us and to all Israel.
Let us say, Amen.
