Chapter 3: Don't like Dwarves? Here's some Orcs as compensation.
Kili was my morning buddy when the others woke up, sticking to me like bare skin to leather in the height of summer. In fact I'd have liked to smack the crap out of the Dwarf a variety of times throughout the day, he just never stopped talking or laughing or being generally adorable.
"Clary? Will you teach us one of the games you played as a child?" He asked, I rolled my eyes and nodded, a few of the other Dwarves joining us, namely Nori, Ori, Gloin, Dwalin, Fili and Bofur. Bifur and Bombur were inside the house making toys and plans for the new renovations of Erebor. Thorin was sat on the porch with Gandalf, Bilbo and their pipes. Balin, Oin and Dori were watching from the side lines, making sure no one cheated or got hurt and Beorn had decided to chop some wood on the otherside of the house, ignoring the company he'd graciously agreed to house for the day.
"Uh, well I was never really good at games other than Twister but I think that's a bit hard for Dwarves to play." I replied, racking my brains for a game to play. "What about... Toilet Tag!" The Dwarves looked disgusted by this prospect. "It's basically a game of tag... One person is the chaser and the others have to run away, the chaser shouts tag if he touches someone. The tagged person is then the chaser. But in Toilet Tag, whoever the Chaser tags is stuck until someone crawls between their legs, goes under their arm or flushes them by slapping their outstretched hand." I explained, they seemed to enjoy the idea of hitting each other, but like me, not the running.
"Isn't there anything else that doesn't involve running so much?" Kili complained, I shrugged and thought hard again.
"I guess I could teach you Grandmother's footsteps." I sighed they cheered. "One of you has to be the Grandmother." I pointed at Kili, who rolled his eyes and took a step forwards. "The rest of you line up behind him." They did as they were told, still listening closely. "This is a practice so listen closely. You can walk forward until Kili turns around, which he can do whenever he likes, if you haven't stopped when he turns around you are out. If you are not moving, you must be frozen until he turns around again. Once he is back facing me you can move again, the first person to reach Kili wins and if it's a draw then you SPLAT. When we get to that I'll explain it." They all nodded, I smiled and commenced the game.
After the first three or four steps Kili turned around, a few Dwarves wobbled a bit but didn't move. He waited for a few seconds before facing me again, grinning from ear to ear as the others moved again. Seconds later, Gloin and Bofur were out, having overbalanced and fallen into each other. They grumbled but ultimately agreed to try again on the next round, glad that this was only a practice. The next out was Fili, who hadn't realised Kili was staring at him when he moved again, his blue eyes on the ground as we called him out. It was a tense race between Nori, Ori and Dwalin to reach the finish line, Ori giving up as his boot was falling off and he'd have lost anyway.
"Alright, I'll teach you SPLAT. We used to play this in Drama lessons when I was younger, I never won, I just didn't have the reflexes." I admitted, they laughed at me. "Stand back to back." I ordered, Thorin taking a sudden interest and leaning forwards. "Take a step forwards with every word I say beginning with the letter D." Nori and Dwalin nodded, both completely focused on winning. "Actually this isn't SPLAT at all, it's Poison." I self corrected, earning a withering look from the Dwarves. "Shoot each other after I say Poison." They nodded again and then Dwalin cleared his throat.
"Get on with it Lass." He muttered, I nodded and frowned.
"Dog." They moved. "Dagger." Step. "Door." Step. "Dwarf." Eye roll and step. "Danger." Step. "Drawing." Step. "Dirt. Step. "Dragon." Step. "Dark." Step. "Duck." Step. "POISON!" I shouted, Nori turned around first and yelled the same word, Dwalin screamed in frustration and asked for a rematch.
"I wasn't ready!" He excused I shook my head whilst laughing.
"I'm sorry Master Dwalin, but Nori has won fair and square." I said, he growled and stalked off the play the role of Grandmother.
"This is fun." Kili said loudly, laughing as he lost. I have to say this must have been the most cheerful I've seen the company since played the games for another few hours, waiting until Beorn told us it was are to leave before mounting the ponies and leaving him.
"I don't know if it was a god idea to teach Kili games." I whispered, Fili shook his head and looked over at his brother, who had fallen asleep, leaning back against Thorin.
"I'd say it was a very good thing, you've managed to tire him out." He replied quietly, I grinned and shook my head this time.
"Well, actually that was Dwalin chasing him across the yard for calling him a sore loser."
"But either way... It worked and is shutting him up for a few more hours." Fili muttered, I nodded and burrowed my face against his back, sighing and closing my eyes, allowing the cool breeze to wash over my face. "If you fall asleep behind me, how do I stop you falling?"
"I'm not sleeping, I'm just resting my eyes." I argued, he laughed.
"Liar." He said, looking at his brother again and smirking devilishly. "KILI! Watch out!" He shouted, his little brother waking up with a shrill screech and slamming his head back into his Uncle's chest, which didn't amuse the older Dwarf in the slightest.
"Oh Lads." Balin sighed, shaking his head as everyone else barring me, him, Bilbo, Thorin and Gandalf burst out laughing at Kili's expense for the second time in the journey.
"I agree, leave your brother alone Fili." I chastised, trying to hide my own smile.
"Our brother."
