Chapter 3: Headless… Bowser?
"Take that, you fat Koopa fuck!" Mario said as he began to kick Bowser in the temple.
Mario had made it through Bowser's castle, and had beaten Bowser down out of pure rage. He was now on a mission, fueled by his hatred for Bowser, and his love for Peach.
After a few more hard kicks with his steel toed shoes, Mario's foot penetrated Bowser's skull, and Bowser's body began to shake uncontrollably. Mario felt a mix of guilt, joy, and confusion. He began to get light headed, and suddenly, passed out.
Mario jolted awake, and searched his surroundings. He was in his tent, and it was just about the crack of dawn, judging by the light coming through the walls. Remembering his violent and bloody dream, a shudder ran through his body.
Suddenly, tears came to Mario's eyes, "Why… Why Bowser…" he cried quietly, "Why have you separated me from my family and friends…"
Mario continued to cry for a short while, until he heard distant noises. He stopped crying, wiped his eyes, and went outside to investigate the sound. Not 500 yards from him, he saw Luigi, and he was leading an army of toads.
Luigi began to shout at the marching toads, "Come on men, hustle!" he yelled, "We must end the Koopa Kingdom, in the name of Mario, and Princess Peach!"
The army got quickly closer, and Mario quickly camouflaged his tent with some branches, and then hid behind a bush. Luigi suddenly stopped, Mario was only a few feet away from him, so he quieted his breathing.
He began to speak, in a vengeful, yet confident tone, that Mario had only heard a handful of times. "OK men, this is the forest of illusion, we will enter now, and exit at noon, understood?"
"Sir, yes sir!" the toads replied.
"Good..." Luigi said, "Now, when we arrive, we demolish anything we can find; houses, shops, people, the whole damn kingdom itself, nothing, and I mean nothing, will stay standing, understood?"
"Sir, yes sir!" the toads replied obediently.
Luigi smiled, a slightly insane smile, but a happy one none the less, "If those directions are clear, then we continue on, come soldiers!" Luigi shouted.
Then, Luigi, and the entire army, began to march again.
As soon as the army was out of sight, Mario ran back to his house, as fast as he could. He began to search his house for a device him and Luigi were constructing. This device was an audio device, it could be attached to any article of clothing, and was virtually invisible. The reason Mario had this device, was because they were planning to spy on Bowser, by bugging his minions, and listening to their plans. However, this idea was scrapped, as a Koopa was spotted, recording the plans for this idea.
After Mario finished a few small modifications, he began the painstaking process of bugging every single shirt Luigi owned. "I'm sorry bro, but I gotta know what's going on..." Mario said to himself.
To the present…
Peach, Luigi, and Daisy had packed, and now set off on an adventure to Sarasaland. There, Daisy knew somebody who could contact living beings, at any point in time or space; as long as a beloved person, or object was brought to them.
All three of hero's had just left the castle, and stocked up on supplies. They all had a large hiking bag, of their respective colors.
As they walked through Toad Town, Luigi asked a question, "So Peach, where exactly is this train?"
Peach thought for a moment, and began to respond quietly, "There is a secret underground tunnel system that they use, Mario showed it to me." Peach said.
Daisy raised an eyebrow, "Mario showed it to you?" she asked, confused.
"Yes, Mario showed it to me, he had it set up to travel back and forth quickly between here and Sarasaland." Peach replied.
Daisy nodded in understanding, "Ah, I though Mario was involved in some shady shit for a second there."
Luigi chuckled at Daisy's remark, "Well, you're not wrong..." Luigi said to Daisy.
"And what's that supposed to mean?" Daisy retorted.
Luigi quickly closed the conversation, "Hey, Bowser does some shady shit too, all I'm saying is that you have to beat people at their own games sometimes." Luigi said defensively.
Daisy narrowed her eyes at the green plumber, "Sure..." she said rather sarcastically.
After a few more minutes of walking, Peach stopped at a house, and knocked in a fairly complex pattern. "Hey, let me in," Peach whispered.
The door opened, "Come in, quickly..." a voice said.
All of the hero's entered the house. "What do you need, and why are you bringing guests?" the voice asked.
"We need to get to Sarasaland, and fast," Peach replied.
The voice laughed, "Why, it's going to be at least a month before we can start a train up to get you there, so fast isn't exactly realistic," the voice said.
Peach sighed, "Albert, in the time it takes for you to get a train, we could walk there."
Albert laughed again, and walked in plain view of the others, "Well, good luck getting there alive, just the other day, a massive stand off started, and it's gonna be on for a while." he said.
Luigi gasped, "Albert!?" he said in shock, "But you're supposed to be a friendly jewelry store guy; what are you doing running shady ass businesses like this?" Luigi asked.
Albert laughed, "The jewelry store is just a side hobby, this is where real money is at." he said. While observing the group, he noticed the ring on Peach's finger, "Hey, that ring looks familiar..." he said.
"What do you mean?" Peach asked.
"Mario bought that from me a little over nine months ago…" Albert said, putting the pieces together, "My god, Peach, are you married to Mario?" Albert asked with great joy.
"Yeah, didn't you hear?" Peach asked.
"Oh Peach, I just knew you got married, why, I had no clue Mario was planning such a proposal!" Albert said.
Peach changed the subject, "Well, Mario is kind of why we're here..." Peach said, "You see…"
Peach told Albert the whole story, and how Daisy knows somebody in Sarasaland.
Albert thought for a moment, "Well my dear, I am truly sorry about your loss, but the best I can do is three weeks, as the entire train must be rebuilt."
Peach cupped her hands, and laid her face in them, "Oh no… what will we do then?" she pleaded.
Daisy put her hand on Peach's shoulder, "Peach, Mario is one tough son of a bitch, you know that; I'm sure he'll be OK."
Peach looked up, "Are you sure?" she asked.
Daisy giggled, "Absolutely sure." Daisy reassured.
Peach looked at Albert, "Well..." she hesitated, "Could I get a ride in three weeks?" she asked.
"Absolutely." Albert replied, "You can even stay here, just make yourself at home." Albert offered.
Back to Mario…
Mario had just finished bugging all of Luigi's cloths. Unless Luigi ran butt-naked away, there was not a word Mario wouldn't hear. Mario then looked at a clock.
"Hmm, if I hurry, I can get there in time…" he said, quickly rushing out the door.
Mario hurried as fast as he could, and eventually, he made his way out of the forest, and near the Koopa Kingdom. He saw Luigi, and his army, waiting to invade.
"OK everybody, I'm gonna count to ten, and when I hit that, we charge, full force, full power, understood?" Luigi ordered.
"Sir, yes sir!" the toads replied.
Luigi began to count, and Mario's heartbeat got faster with each number. Toads were all preparing their weapons, and they had everything. Explosives, napalm, projectiles, even physical combat tools.
"CHARGE!" Luigi yelled, as all of the toads ran.
Luigi turned, and followed the toads. Mario was awestruck at how quickly the battle became violent. In mere seconds, there had been multiple high powered explosives fired off, and napalm was being thrown left and right. In that short period of time, so much damage had been done, it was almost surreal. The bodies of the dead Koopa people were incinerated in the blasts, and those that survived were taken prisoner.
Mario snuck in, and did his best to hide behind the rubble. The battle continued for only a few hellish hours, until all of the buildings were gone. All that remained was a damaged castle, in the middle of town. Luigi ordered a line of toads to rig explosives around the castle. After the bombs were set, Luigi called his toads back, and ordered the blast.
One massive explosion later, the castle still stood. Suddenly, Bowser walked out of the castle, holding Peach. Bowser took a look around, and realized the destruction to his city.
Luigi began to speak up, "Bowser, this is your final chance, give up the princess, and sacrifice yourself," Luigi said viciously, "Your compliance will result in the survival of your kingdom."
Bowser looked around, and fell to his knees. His head looked down in shame, and he began to cry. "Luigi..." Bowser said through his upset anger, "I will make sure you burn for this..." Bowser said as he released the princess.
Peach ran back to the army of toads, and Luigi approached Bowser. "You son of bitch, all of the problems that you've caused us, all of the time we've wasted on you..." Luigi said in a degrading tone.
Bowser looked up at Luigi, "Wasted time!" he said in anger, "So you raid my kingdom, murdering hundreds of innocent victims, because of a little wasted time!?"
Something about those words bugged Luigi, because it seemed as if those words had caused him to mentally snap. "Wasted time, that's all you think you did!?" Luigi said with fury, "YOU KILLED MY BROTHER!" Luigi screamed in Bowser's face.
With those words, Luigi quickly searched his overalls, and found a Starman, "BURN IN HELL YOU LIVING PIECE OF SHIT!" Luigi screamed as he violently ripped Bowser's head from his shoulders.
With the remaining power from the Starman, Luigi whipped Bowser's head as hard as he could, sending it miles and miles away.
Luigi turned back around to face his army. He was greeted with some cheers, and others talking in a disappointed tone. Luigi looked back at Bowser's headless body, and the full weight of his actions weighed upon him. Luigi began to cry.
He fell to his knees, and the princess comforted him. "Peach..." Luigi continued to sob, "I'm so sorry, all of my anger with Bowser, it just boiled over, I couldn't take it..."
Peach stood Luigi back up, "It's OK, we needed to rid the world of him Luigi, after all of the pain and suffering he's caused us, don't worry..." Peach said.
Luigi looked at Peach, and it made him cry more, "Peach, I have some horrible news..." he said
Peach began to piece together what he meant, but didn't accept it yet, "What's wrong Luigi?" she asked nervously.
"Peach… Mario is… dead," Luigi said, bursting out in more tears.
Peach instantly teared up, "Luigi… no, please no..." she said.
Luigi nodded slowly, "The Bazooka Bill shot, it was nearly direct contact, there was no chance."
This caused many tears to fall, and for about an hour, that was exactly what happened. Eventually, it began to rain, and even with the mood, everybody decided to head home. Luigi walked the princess home, and then went home himself.
Mario sat in a pipe outside, where he was guarded from the rain, and began to listen to Luigi.
Luigi was bawling, "Mario, why… why did this have to happen, if only there was a different ending… somewhere else…" Luigi continued.
Mario heard the phone ring, and Luigi answered it. "Hello?" he asked, still crying.
"Master Luigi, hello." the voice said.
"Oh hello Toadsworth, how are you?" Luigi asked, attempting to hide his emotions.
Toadsworth could easily tell Luigi was attempting to be strong, "Master Luigi, do not hold your feelings inside, it is better to let them out." he said.
Luigi then began to cry again, "Toadsworth, I'm sorry, I should be more calm around you." Luigi said
Toadsworth sighed, "Master Luigi, it is quite alright, I understand the loss of a loved one, and I am truly sorry for your loss."
Luigi cheered up a little, "Thanks Toadsworth, I appreciate it." Luigi said, "So, what are you calling about?" Luigi asked, composing himself slightly.
"Master Luigi, I've called about the burial." Toadsworth said, "You see, tomorrow we are holding a burial, and we wanted to inform you, so you show up."
Luigi took a deep breath, and held back tears, "OK, I will be there Toadsworth, for sure." he said.
"Ah splendid!" Toadsworth said, "Now, the service will begin at ten AM, in the castle courtyard, does this sound satisfactory?" Toadsworth asked.
"Yes Toadsworth, that will work, I'll be there." Luigi replied.
"Sounds good, once again, I am sorry for your loss, goodbye Master Luigi." Toadsworth said as he hung up.
Luigi said goodbye to Toadsworth, and then went to bed. Mario waited until Luigi stopped crying, and finally began to snore. He then began to, very carefully, make his way inside the house. He entered his room quietly, and dug through his closet, until he was able to find an unrecognizable, and rarely worn suit. After he found the combination of dress cloths, he searched for a concealing hat. Mario found a top hat with wide rims, and took it with him. He then carefully put everything back, accept the suit, in its place, and left the house.
Mario went back into the woods, and pitched his tent before it got too dark. "I can't believe I'm gonna watch myself get buried..." he said as he set his camp up.
Mario then got as comfortable as he could, and went to sleep. He knew he would have to wake up early for the funeral tomorrow.
So, was that OK? I hope there was enough action for everybody in this chapter, and I hope you all enjoyed it! So anyway, see you in the next one!
