Year One
By: MusketeerAdventure
Chapter Three: The Curse of Madness
Summary: Captain Carter is recovered from the Tugai; and Daniel speaks with the wind. This is a missing moment from the season one episode 'Emancipation'.
The Curse of Madness
It was peaceful here sitting beneath the stars; and the tranquil nature of the shining moon and crackling fire encompassing this place gave him time to reflect.
Dr. Carter's rescue, though extremely troubling to him was successful. During his military training sessions it had been drilled into him to never give up his weapon. To witness the Colonel hand it over so freely was curious; but he agreed. Whatever it took to bring her away from the chieftain Turghan …he was all in.
She was safe with them now, and the journey back to the Shavadai was gratefully interrupted in order to rest. Squeezing the dirt of Simarka between his fingers Daniel sighed. If he believed hard enough maybe he could imagine the wet earth as sand; the trees surrounding them as monumental pyramids; the fire a warm greeting alongside his tent back in Abydos with Share' seated beside him.
Letting go of the bit of earth he swiped his hands clean to such visions. He did not believe it, the image could not hold steady and besides it wasn't so.
Instead the night air was cool enough to see his breath; Teal'c sat rigid across from him; Dr. Carter slept heavily…close to the flames; while Jack and Moughal whose eyes were closed did not sleep deeply. Their tell being the firm grips they both held on their weapons either laying within arm's reach and in Jack's case ….strapped across his chest.
Watching Dr. Carter in slumber, Daniel wondered about her ordeal among the Tugai and their leader. What she must have gone through; what she witnessed. Here on this planet women were property, treated abominably…given no say in their lives; no power to resist abuse. It was their way for men to smother a woman's voice; hide their faces; diminish their dreams of self-determination.
Daniel sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He did not know Dr. Carter well, but saw her to be a fierce, capable soldier; as well as a brilliant scientist. Having her freedom taken; her voice stolen must have been torture in and of itself.
Throwing a stick into the flames, he gazed as golden embers escaped the inferno and drifted up, then away.
Was this how Share' suffered? Trapped in her own body; overcome with the venom of their parasitic enemy. Was there any part of her free to choose, free to think, free to outwit her captive? In his mind, Share' was just as strong as Dr. Carter; as strong as the women here on Simarka. If they could survive such subjugation…could not she?
Studying her closely, Daniel could see that Dr. Carter slept with her brows furrowed and teeth clenched. What must she be reliving in her dreams? What was Share' dreaming of now at this very moment? Was she allowed to dream?
Hatred seeped into his heart; so he rubbed his chest where the ache pounded and caused him pain.
"You do not sleep?" Teal'c asked; his voice a soothing baritone that did not disturb the others, but irritated him beyond explanation. Daniel shook his head no and threw another stick within the flames. Considering Teal'c he let out another deep breath then stared up at the night sky.
Over the past few months, the Jaffa on many occasions had attempted to engage in small talk with him. But Daniel found it difficult. With Dr. Carter, conversation came easy. They shared a passion for discovering the unknown; she listened without judgement and did not mind his ramblings.
Though he and Jack shared history…Jack did not want to talk; and that was okay with him. Teal'c he could not talk to. The divide between them seemed precarious and wide. What they shared was fraught with landmines which he had not yet learned to navigate.
And though he sensed his loyalty; Teal'c was an enigma to him. Even after months of training together; travelling through the Stargate; learning the way of military life, he still could not speak to him of things either large or small. For the moment, he knew little of Teal'c and wished to keep it that way.
"Captain Carter will recover" Teal'c continued speaking; his certainty on the subject only surpassed by his unfazed reaction to Daniel's silence.
Daniel stared across the flames and met the Jaffa eye to eye. Would she, he wondered? Would they ever even know what she suffered; what indignities she had to endure? Looking inward, he found that he had not the courage to ask.
It would only remind him of how his wife must suffer. How the curse of his own madness; his love for Share' pained him. That he could do nothing to help her; to save her. How each time he traversed through the gate he thought…this is it; this is the day…I will see her and bring her home; only to be disappointed time and time again.
The wind shifted direction and blew gently in his face. Closing his eyes Daniel leaned in and felt the breeze course through his hair. Listening to the wind, he heard the leaves rustling; dry limbs snap from trees – critters travelling beneath the brush and night birds calling out to one another in sporadic song.
Opening his eyes, an idea came to him.
Earlier Moughal had spoken to him of the Tem Tree and her legend. He had pointed the tree out to him on their way to this encampment. The Tree was where Shavadai men went to commune with nature; and listen to the wind in order to hear truth and garner needed advice.
Daniel stood and wiped the dirt from his pants. The Tree was not far…he would go there and listen for answers. "Do not go far Daniel Jackson" Teal'c replied, ready to stand himself and follow.
"Just a little way through those trees Teal'c" he pointed out. "Don't worry" he continued and patted the weapon on his hip; then held out his hand for Teal'c to stay. "I won't be long."
Teal'c hesitated for the briefest of moments, and then reluctantly conceded; nodding his head to acquiesce. Spreading out his senses, he could hear noting of concern that would endanger Daniel Jackson. When he looked to O'Niell, he could see the man's eyes were open; telling him to stand down. Teal'c stood back and reclaimed his seat.
"Thank you Teal'c" Daniel acknowledged and moved away.
The Tem Tree was more magnificent under the night sky than she was in the light of day. The moon cast an ethereal glow that gave her an otherworldly life. Jack would say, "A tree, is a tree, is a tree." But this was different; he could feel it.
Her limbs seemed to stretch up into a nether world and then reach down to embrace him.
The massive depth of the Tem Tree was impressive and reaching out to caress her bark, something unexpected came over him. A whisper seemed to float down from her heights; reach his ear and speak to him.
Overwhelmed with emotion; leaning in, Daniel concentrated hard to understand, but the language of the wind eluded him. What truth was this mammoth tree trying to impart? Was he too foreign; was it that he was not of Simarka that he could not understand her meaning?
"I'm listening" he murmured; but still could not understand. Undeterred he listened the more and waited. Patience is what he needed…and so cleared his mind.
"What are you doing out here Dr. Jackson?" Captain Carter asked from the shadows.
Startled, Daniel turned to see the Doctor walk toward him from the darkness of the trees until she stood beside him in the light of the moon. "When I woke you were gone. You've been out here for a while and I got a little worried about you."
Heart pounding in his chest Daniel took a deep breath and glowered at the intrusion. Once his heart settled back into a normal rhythm he answered, "Teal'c told you where I'd be didn't he?" then sat among the thick roots of the great Tree and leaned back into her strength.
"No" Samantha Carter answered, then surveyed the gigantic tree and their surroundings; her weapon held tight. "Why are you out here alone?" she asked again, this time her voice low with compassion. "You should come back to the fire."
Holding out his hands Daniel shrugged. "I'm listening to the wind. I have the madness and wait to hear how my wife fares and what I should do?"
"Ahh, the wind" she said with a smile. "And I do see the curse of madness about you." She tilted her head and after a moment of contemplation continued, "And what has the wind told you."
"I'm not sure. I can't quite make it out. But the wind has sent you and that means something, don't you think?"
"Yes well" she replied softly and bowed her head. "We shouldn't stay out here too much longer Dr. Jackson. It isn't safe. Turghan is not a man who will take being made a fool of lightly. Let's go back to the fire."
Daniel nodded and stood to his feet, then followed carefully in her footsteps so as not to falter in the dark. And as they walked back to camp he found in him the courage to ask, "Are you alright Dr. Carter? Is there anything…."
"I'm alright" she countered quickly and stopped in her tracks to address him face to face.
Suddenly a gust of wind swirled between them and with no preamble she spoke to him in a voice that seemed not her own. "All is as it should be Daniel. Have faith. Trust in those who offer you friendship."
Confused, he watched apprehensively as she turned away to continue on back to the camp; and after a moment lost sight of her as she moved through the trees.
Daniel hurried then to catch up and as he reemerged from the trees and found himself back in camp…he could see Doctor Carter asleep by the fire. Had he been lost in the woods? Had she left him so long ago that now she slept soundly?
Breathless he asked Teal'c who had not moved since their last encounter, "How long I have been gone?"
"Not long" Teal'c responded, his eyebrow raised in puzzlement.
Stumbling to the ground, Daniel peered intently into the flames. How could this be? It seemed to him that many hours had passed, only Teal'c revealed… not long. Had the Tree spoken to him after all? Had she sent a vision of Doctor Carter as the voice of the wind? What was he to make of the message to be patient; have the courage to ask and to keep faith?
Overcome with exhaustion his mind whirling, Daniel lay down in the dirt and let sleep pull him under. A blanket fell over him, and he woke some hours later to Abu crashing through the brush frantic for their help.
Thank you for reading. Please leave a review to let me know what you think. This is a brief missing scene from the episode 'Emancipation'. Your comments are welcome and much appreciated.
