The concert ended and the boys all came running backstage. I highfived them and alex grabbed a towel and ran into the bathroom. "he awlways gets first shower." Zack explained to me. "just like old times." I laughed and kept poking zacks muscles. " what time is it?" I said yawning. "its only wake the fuck up o clock." He said play slapping my face. " I think its time for a nap." I said and curled up on the couch. I closed my eyes and soon enough I fell asleep.
I was woken up by someone throwing water on me. "wake up sleeping beauty" alex said with a bucket in hand. "well thanks a lot." I said getting up. "aww don't be mad." He said pouting. "well im not going to be happy!" I said and walked outside and tried to find the bus. Believe it or not I was finding my way around. I found the bus and nobody in it yet. Good. I got shorts and a tanktop from my bag and went to the bathroom and changed. I looked in the mirror and fixed my soaking hair. "god dammit alex" I muttered to myself. "Emily open up its rian" I jumped at him pounding on the door. "come in" then he opened the door and grabbed my hand. "theres a party. Alex told me to get you." We walked off of the bus and saw a barbeque in between the busses. Instantly I smelt burgers,brats,hot dogs and all the good food. "have fun" rian said ditching me for beer pong. I sighed and walked over to the cooler full of beer. I grabbed a bottle and twisted off the cap. I turned around and next thing I know im beer-less and collided with a complete stranger. "what the fuck man." The stranger said. I just shrugged it off. Some idiot who was already wasted .Only it wasn't a complete stranger. And . the weren't wasted. "if it isn't john." I said with a smirk. " oh… is that you? Whats your name again?" he said using napkins to dry his shirt. "well wouldn't you like to know?" I said and his eyes met mine. He did that little half smile and my knees almost went weak. "well yes. I would like to know very much actually." He said putting the napkins down. "well then. Its Emily." I said holding my hand out to him. "glad to formally meet you." He kissed my hand and I laughed. He took a step forward until we were inches apart. I looked into his eyes and he smiled. Only he leaned beside me and got two beers. When he handed me mine his face was still about an inch away. "thanks." I said breathlessly. ''just don't spill it this time." He said walking away. All I could do was just stare off in his direction. He was so cute,and obviously had experience with picking girls up. Hes perfect. Wait. No I cant be thinking that. I promised alex. I promised him I wouldn't fall for anyone on tour,that I wouldn't get hurt. I looked away from his direction and found my brother doing shots with his friends. "scoot over." I said squeezing myself in between a slightly drunk alex and a wasted drummer from the maine. He was obviously new at this. I picked up glass after glass and just downed it. I didn't care about the burn. I just didn't want to think anymore. I didn't want to think about johns perfect hair. Or where he has tattoos. Or how his breath didn't reek of alchohol when he was a mere inch away from my face. I wanted him to kiss me so bad. My body went into shivers as I took more shots. I couldn't think about him. I cant. Looking at my side I wondered if I was saying all of these things aloud because alex just looked at me with a curious/shocked expression on his face. It took me a good 5 min of just standing there ,knowing the worst, to get enough courage to speak.''w-what arre you loookin at?" I slurred. "how did you learn how to do that. I mean youre better than me" alex said. Obviously not nearly as drunk as me. "you should really come to my sorority house bro. guys doing body shots, everything you could think of. College is the life." I raised my shot glass triumphantly. " I think its time for you to go home." He took me by the arms and started walking with me to the bus. "but I don't wanna go you party pooper! I want to dance with that hottie on the dancefloor…."I stopped in my tracks. "you aren't dancing. Youre going to sleep." Alex said trying to move me. I slowly started going with him but I couldn't take my eyes off of the dancefloor. i stumbled onto the bus but alex got me to my bunk without me dying. "goodnight em." He said as he tucked me in. "nighty night alexis." I said curling into a ball. Alex closed the curtain and I wiped my smile off of my face. I couldn't get that picture out of my head. John making out with some band slut on the dancefloor. she was practically naked. I don't know why but it hurt. It shouldn't.. but it did. And when he looked at me when they were dancing. There was something in his eyes….. something that made me afraid. I didn't want to dance with him. I wanted to be safe on the bus. I assured myself it was just the too many shots talking and closed my eyes.
In the morning~~~
"the fuck alex!" I heard zack yell. I got up andhung my legs over the side of my bunk. "dude. I didn't know it was yours. Calm down." Alex was by the fridge holding his hands up. "the pudding cup had my name on it!"zack said pretending to be sad. "oh. Im sorry zack….. that wasn't me" alex said confused. I put my hand up and confessed. "it was me…. Im sorry zack." I said fake pouting. "oh. Then its okay." Zack shut the fridge and sat down on the couch. "wow man… bros before hoes." Alex said and then I punched him in the arm. "im not a hoe… im your sister." He put his hands up. "last night told me differentlyyyyyyy" he said in a sing song voice. Shit. I don't remember anything from last night. "what did happen?" I looked in the cabinet for tylanol and in the fridge for water…. All I could find was water so I settled with that. My head was pounding though. God. What happened last night. All of a sudden the bus lurched forward causing me to lose my balance. Luckily the table was there for me to hang on too. "nothing sister of mine" he said with a smirk. I shook my head and went into the back lounge to lay down on the couch. Closing my eyes felt really good right about now. Taking sips of my water didn't help so I just downed it. " hung over too?" one eye popped open and found a hung over jack laying down on the floor. "yupp" I said as I rolled over so I was facing him. "why is no one else as miserable as us?" he sighed . "because I went to town on the shots last night" my water bottle hit the rim of the trashcan as I failed my attempt to make it in. my head went back down as I heard jack softly snoring. I looked up at the ceiling and tried to piece together what happened last night. I remember spilling my drink on someone…. I don't remember who. And the next thing that came to mind was me at the bar doing shots. Then alex helped me to the bus and I fell asleep. "jack'' I whispered. "huh?" he groggily propped himself up on his elbow. "do you know what happened last night?" I bit my lip, secretly not wanting to know the answer. " I don't. but alex seemed pretty pissed… he kept glaring at….ahh whats his name… john I think? So something must have went down… go ask alex." He pulled the blanket over his head and rolled over. I guess that is the end to the conversation. A sigh of defeat escaped and I remembered my best friends saying she always reminded me 'if you don't remember. Then it should stay that way.''Only 30 minutes till were at the venue guys." Rian whispered into the back lounge. I nodded and made my way to the bathroom to do my hair,makeup,clothes and such. "Emily come on you take so long." Zack said banging on the door. "you guys wanted me in the first place." I laughed. "but we didn't know you were going to be such a girl!" he groaned. I put all of my stuff in my bag and opened the door. "there you go. But if you haven't realized… I am a girl." He rolled his eyes and I walked into the front room. "hey hey hey my friend." I sat down next to rian. "finally you are out of there. Zack has been putting on a pussy fit." He took a bite out of his lunch and leaned back. "speaking of pussys.. wheres my brother and jack." Rian shrugged his shoulders. "i don't know… I haven't seen alex for like 20 minutes and jack never came out of his coma." He took another bite and I went in search for my brother. I pulled back his curtain and he was sleeping listening to music. I sat on the end of his bunk and brought my knees to my chest. I just sat there and watched him sleep like when we were kids and one of us woke up before the other. We would just wait until we could have another day playing with toys or at the park. I miss those days. I sighed and put my head in between my knees.
" And at night he cries
He screams and he pleads
For one last goodbye
He wants the pain to end
Because he knows it will be endless
He can't get the picture
of her hanging there out of his head." I heard someone sing . I lifted my head up and saw alex sitting up smiling at me. "stop it" I blushed. "its my favorite part. I cant help it" he said and kicked me underneath the covers. "okay but no one needs to hear my song." I said and put my head back between my knees. (my actual song please don't steal it). "you're so weird. " he said stretching and wiping his eyes. "sorry if I want certain things kept to myself." I mumbled. "whatever. You're still weird." He pulled the curtain back and hopped out. I followed him to the front room and rian was still there but now he was watching a movie. "how much longer?" I asked. As if it were answering my question the bus slowly came to a stop. "like magic" I laughed. I ran out the door and took in the new place. This will be pretty exciting. A new place almost every day. New people. Im going to have fun. I walked down the already crowded paths just seeing what there was. "Emily! Wait up." I heard someone call out. I turned around and saw no one else but mr ocallaghan himself. "hey!" I couldn't help but smile when I saw him. Something just made me happy. "I was wondering if you would like someone to wander with." He looked out into the growing sea of people. "sure. I think im going to get lost to be honest." He laughed and pointed out the different booths for me. "oh. Wait right here." He said as we got to their merch table. He went behind the table and got a shirt from the box and came back to where I was. He put a finger to his lips and handed me the shirt. "I should at least pay for it…" I started digging in my wallet but he took it from me. "let me go to a concert with you and it will be enough." He said still holding my wallet. "fine. But which one?" I took my wallet from him and glared at him. "oh I completely forgot I promised kennedy I would watch all time low with him. He says that jack acts strangely like pat." John laughed to himself and I just stood there awkwardly. "he dosent act stangely whereas he acts like a little kid that's high." I said and laughed with john. "oh yeah I forgot that youre alex's sister. How long have you known jack,rian,and zack?" He ran his fingers through his hair and placed his sunglasses in his head. He looked down at me and just laughed. "oh yeah. Right. Umm ive known them ever since they were in the band. They are all really like brothers." I tried my best not to stare at him but he makes it so hard. "haha it seems like I have 4 newer brothers of my own." He laughed. "oh and good job on the show last night. From what I was able to enjoy of it seemed really good." He laughed and I raised my eyebrow…. Was I funny? "you had no idea who we were before yesterday did you." He smiled down at me."to be honest,no. but im glad I got to see what I did."our fingertips slightly touched while we were walking and I pulled my hand away. I didn't want to be rude if he was trying something so I pretended to scrath my arm. "that's okay . but thank you. Im glad you couldn't stay though. It was getting kind of hard to focus with you right below me." I bit my lip and turned away. My god this boy is cute! "but the singer… I still think he had no chance with that girl." I play shoved him and he just stood there with his mouth open and pretended he was hurt. "oh really now?"he said I laughed and kept on walking. "hey lets go to the TWLOHA booth." He caught up with me and we walked together to the booth. "what are they doing this year?" he asked looking around for it. "I think its fears vs. dreams." John found the booth but we had to cross a huge mob of people waiting for autographs or something. Out of nowhere john took my hand and he started running through the crowd yelling "MOVE!". Oddly enough everyone moved and we made it to the booth. John still didn't let go of my hand. I don't think I wanted him to let go either. But he had to let go to write on the boarf. "don't look!" he said like a child. "trust me im not!" they handed me my own board and I quickly wrote down my dream. "To overcome" but I was stuck on the fears….. "whats your biggest fear?" its too broad. I have so many. I finally came up with a good one. "to lose alex". In the corner I wrote 'note' just so it was personal. I took out my camera and gave it to john. "would you like to take my picture?" I said with a smile. "only if youll take mine." He did his smirk and I just nodded. I held up my board and gave a smile for the camera. "beautiful" he said behind the camera. I bit my lip and looked down. "now let me take one of you!" I said as he handed me the camera. I finally got to see what his board said. Biggest fear: I wont go on another date with you greatest dream: headline a tour. I smiled from behind the camera and said "2,3,4,1" and took the picture. "see what I did there." And I scrunched my nose. "trying to copy me now are you" I stuck my tounge out and we walked away from the booth. "what time is it?" he asked me. I looked down at my phone. "5:30"I said and he just nodded. "perfect. Well we better make it quick to see your brother then, kennedy told us to meet him stage right near the front." We both walked to the stage making small talk. The place was packed… "wait, ill find a way to get us to the front. Come with me." I took johns hand as we squeezed our way to the pathway that leads to backstage. "I found kennedy." John yelled over screaming fans. We got kennedys attention and we fought our way to him and made our way to the barrier, "since im a pussy I brought earplugs." After I put mine in I handed the case to the boys and they each took a pair. "hey guys. Were all time low. And we are going to start this show off pretty dirty" alex said getting the crowd pumped. "alex I want to see you naked." Jack said all sereious. "later bro. not the time and place." Alex said laughing. "but I need to see you." Alex whimpered. "I promise.. later. But right now we need everyone of you getting crazy out there!" alex said to start the show. "I want kissing and making out and all that shit. Because I cant see alex naked right now okay?" the crowd went wild and responded to what jack said. "this songs a party song. SO FUCKING PARTY" alex then started off the set. John put his arm around my waist and pulled my closer. I looked up and made eye contact with my brother. There was something in his eyes. A disapproving look? Shit! What do I think im doing. I cant do this anymore. My heart beat was getting faster. Im sorry tom I let you down. Im sorry alex. Im just sorry I am even here. Tear were filling my eyes and I had to find a way out of the crowd. I started walking to where we walked in. "Emily!" john yelled and he grabbed my hand. "im sorry" I mouthed. I pulled my hand from his and pushed my way out. i ripped the earplugs out and started to the bus. Tears were blurring my vision and kept tripping me. Then there was someone pulling me back. "let me go john!" I screamed and fought my way out of his grasp. "whats wrong?" he said. I turned around and he didn't look pissed. Just confused. "I cant be here right now." I said fighting back tears. "at least tell me where youre going. I can come with you." He pleaded. "no john. You don't get it. I cant be here. With you." I pulled out of his grasp again. " im sorry." I said barley able to breathe. I turned around and made my way to the bus. I pulled open the door and ran to the bathroom. I feel like I need to throw up. I just need to get these bad feelings out. I just need to make everything better but I just don't know how. I thought of johns board for the fears vs. dreams….. "no." I gasped. My knees went weak and I had to keep myself up on the sink. His greatest fear. "wont go on another date with you" even though it was probably him trying to pick me up… it still feels horrible knowing you made a persons greatest fear come true. I sank to the floor and just let the tears come out. Ive disappointed my brother,my other brother,and the guy I could have potentially had a second date with all in the same 10 minutes. Im not a fuck up… not at all. I crawled to the nearest bunk. Jacks. I crawled in and just laid there. I didn't want to think about anything except for that I was in jacks bed and playing with his blanket. That's all I wanted to do. I didn't want to apologise to john. I didn't want to say sorry to alex. And I didn't want to think about tom. I didn't stop the tears before I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.
