AN: OMG I"M SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SORRY! I had this written and it was perfect then guess what happend... my computer broke ):

So i had to go back and rewrite this whole thing and make it perfect again, but I did it just for yall!

Disclaimer: If I owned Sonny with a Chance... Chad Dylan Cooper would be a SO RANDOM! fan... but I don't so.

"Umm well I was just... you know..." He said not being able to pick the right words to say what he meant.

"No Chad, I don't know. You haven't talked to me in over 6 months and now..." I was cut off by him finally finding what he wanted to say.

"I know I have been avoiding you since what happened, but I didn't know how much it hurt you or I never would have done is Sonny. I had no idea how much pain you were really in until I got that letter last week. Now I feel bad knowing I caused all of this. I haven't slept very good since I got that letter and it's all I can think about." He said out of breath at the end of his little speech.

"Look Chad. I don't want your pity. I don't want you to feel sorry for me. I don't want anything like that. So if that is all you here to talk to me about, then were done talking." I said and went to put my headphones back into my ears but Chad stopped me and took my hand and sat down next to me.

"That wasn't all I was over here for Sonny. I wanted you to know that for me it has been exactly the same. This whole time you have been what my thoughts were about even when I was with other girls. I haven't forgotten you and I never will. I still love you, but we both know that we not meant to be more that friends."

That last sentence shattered my heart again. All that work to put it back together the first time, destroyed.

I stood up and started to gather my thing as fast as I could hoping Chad wouldn't see the tear that were threatening to fall from my eyes.

"Sonny wait." He said and grabbed me as I tried to walk off, but I shook him off me and pretty much ran back to my dressing room.

He didn't get it. I didn't want to be just friends. The letter was to tell him how much I missed him and well in a way implied that I wanted in him back. Not as a friend... but as someone who would hold me when I had a bad day, or kiss me for no reason. Sure I had Tyler, but he wasn't like Chad. He didn't do the things that Chad did.

He most importantly, never gave me that tingling sensation I feel when ever Chad just smiles. Don't even get me started on when we kiss. We could be here a while.

I sat in my chair and stared at myself in the mirror for a while. This girl staring back at me wasn't someone I wanted to be. She wore dark makeup, and looked as if she was alone for life.

A knock on the door interrupted my thoughts and I said "Come In" just loud enough for the person to hear through the door.

Just then a the blonde hair jerktrob walked trough the door with something shiny in his hand.

"Umm you left this on the table and I figured you would want it back."

"Thanks Chad" I said as he set my be-sparkled cellphone on my vanity.

"Your welcome. Umm Sonny.. I... well there... Nevermind" He said and then quickly left the room.

That was strange.

Chad had been gone for quite a while now but still for some reason he wouldn't leave my mind. His hair, his smile, his "Peace out sucka!" Dang it Chad get out of my head!

I got up and went over to my changing are and grabbed a pair of sweats then changed into them. After I was changed I went and laid down on Tawni's couch like thing and just sat there and thought about what has been going on with me the past 6 months.

The first month after the break up didn't really seem much different from before we were dating, except for the fact that Chad didn't even talk to me. I just went on as if I didn't know him when really, I was just making the pain that was just under the surface. No one would have guessed how bad I was really hurting. I was in so much pain it was almost unbearable. And Chad says I can't act.

The next two months after that are when I slowly took off the mask that was hiding my pain. It all sarted with me beginning to not be as "Sonny" with my attitude, then I died my hair black, and then I did a little shopping and my wardrobe kinda went more dark.

The next month was my rock bottom month. It was the month I had went to those extreme measures that I told Chad about in the letter. I didn't go into detail about what they were in the letter but, I also didn't want to worry Chad to much. I had gone Buliemic and stayed that way until about a few week ago when Tyler found out. He then forced me back to a normal eating pattern and I am thankful for that.

I also cut myself a few times, it didn't last but maybe 3 or 4 days because Tawni had noticed the cuts on my wrist, but I told her they were just burns from my curling iron and she somewhat believed me.

The last two months haven't been much except me moping around and my cast complaining that I need to move on, but they don't understand. They don't understand what it is like to have Chad haunt you mind and never leave, they don't understand what it was like to be in love then have your heart shattered, they don't understand how safe I always felt when Chad was around, they don't understand any of it.

After my thoughts I looked at the clock. 2:30, rehearsals started in 30 minutes.

After all that thinking, I felt tired. I tried to stay awake but my mind was slowly drifting and I was soon out like a light.

I woke up to see that all the lights were off and a note was taped to my forehead.

Tawni...

Sonny, you missed rehearsals and the big news about this weeks show. Marshal said he wanted to tell you himself and that you need to see him first thing in the morning, By the way, you were drooling on my couch... you will clean that up! Love Tawni3

I slowly got up and looked at the time 8:14, wow I had been out for a while. I got up and grabbed my keys off my vanity then headed out to the parking lot. As I was climbing in my car, I saw someone getting into their car a few spaces down.

That person was the one and only CDC.

I turned my head away and tried to shake the though out of my mind as I pulled out onto the road.

My thoughts turned to, What was this big surprise about this weeks show?

AN: Well I hope yall liked it! R&R pleasee(:

(That was a short authors note...)