I know I'm posting this (comparatively) close to the second chapter, but I feel it's ready for release. No POV fumbles like last time (I think…please let me know if you spot any; though there shouldn't be), and I've thrown in some BodySlam teasing (And…well, you'll see…*Laughs evilly*) for good measure.

Also, Negi: Let the dissection…begin. *Insert ominous evil laugh here*

Latios (muttering under breath): Could he be any cornier?

Q: Is Ash stuck as a Drapion?

A: No.

Q: Will Arceus find out what happened?

A: Eventually.

Q: If He does, will He change him back?

A: Only if he wants to be.

Q: Will he be able to shape shift at will like the Latis can? ("That one movie" is Heroes: Latias and Latios, by the way.)

A: My answer contains spoilers for most of the plot that occurs in this chapter (and the next), so the answer is in the AN at the end of Chapter the Third.

Q: Will Ash train his aura abilities?

A: …Haven't thought about that yet. (Probably, though.)

~Chapter the Second~

*Hchoo!* A red and white plane-esque dragon sneezed, lying under the cover of a tree as snow blanketed the vast garden around her.

'I think someone was just talking about me,' She mused to herself. 'Or I'm catching a cold.' She dismissed offhandedly, and shivered. 'Better go in; I hate being sick.' She complained, flying away from the tree and into a nearby house.

*End Sneeze Cut*

Pallet Town

Third Person Perspective

"You're right, that is pretty hard to believe." Bulbasaur deadpanned.

"Whatcha guys talkin' about?" Totodile asked curiously.

"The females who have a romantic interest in Ash, but I don't think you are of any age to di-" Torterra began, before the energetic water-type interrupted her.

"In order of intensity? Latias, Bayleef," The grass-type became bright red, as everyone snickered. "Misty, Casey, May, Dawn, Melody." He listed off rapidly.

A long, awkward silence.

"Who the hell is Casey?" Gliscor finally asked.

"Who the hell is Melody?" Bulbasaur asked redundantly.

"Who the hell is…Wait, I already know who everyone else is. Never mind." Torterra added. "Er...How do you know so much about romance?"

"And where is the evidence of Latias's affection?" Bulbasaur asked, raising his eyebrow. Totodile just grinned.

"A stalker; some chick he met in the Orange Islands while trying to prevent a power-hungry megalomaniac from taking control of Lugia and the legendary birds and destroying the world's balance as a result; I have my ways; aaand-" *THWACK* The diminutive crocodile finished, rudely slapping a photo in the bulb dinosaur's face. "-Right there, in your face!"

"Hey!" He protested, and Gliscor peeled the photo off.

Immediately, the scorpion burst into laughter. "AHAHAHAHAAAA!"

"What is it?" Torterra asked with idle curiosity.

"J-just…*wheeze*…just, see for yourselves!" He pointed to the photo, which was now resting in the grass. Their eyes widened, though Bayleef cringed and turned away.

"Is that…is that Bianca?" Bulbasaur asked disbelievingly. Gliscor and Totodile both facepalmed.

The scorpion scowled and pointed to the girl's eyes. "Hello? Amber eyes? Human eyes are never that color! Bianca's are blue…or green, or something. I never was one for specifics." (He's wrong on both counts; they're brown. Which, to be fair, isn't all that distinguishable from amber…)

"Wait, so you're saying Bayleef is…right?" Bulbasaur exclaimed incredulously.

"You say that like it's uncommon!" Bayleef protested. Again, he ignored her.

"Weeeell, I'm not sure that any self-respecting, non-desperate human female would care for a relationship with a gigantic black scorpion," Torterra added. "Especially considering one's irrational fear of bugs…but yes, Bayleef would be right."

"Hell, I'm not entirely sure that Latias would still want to." Gliscor commented, cringing. Several of the group scowled at him.

"Psychics don't base attraction on physical appearance, only by their hearts and actions," Torterra countered smartly. "Though I can imagine that him being a dark-type would be a pretty big turn-off, regardless."

"How do you know all of that stuff?" Gliscor asked, dumbfounded at the dinosaur's knowledge.

"I read some of the professor's books and observational notes." She explained.

"Wait, wait; So he's actually watched pokemon-" Totodile began, before a group of screams filled the laboratory in the distance.

"What could possibly be going on in there that would make everyone scream like that?" She asked.

"Let's find out." Bulbasaur stated. "Come on, everyone."

*Scene Flip*

Ash's Perspective; A few minutes earlier…

"Okay everyone, breakfast is almost-Nya-a-a-ah!" Oak staggered, almost dropping the hissing, bacon-laden pan as he noticed a black Gallade with a blue chest spike and head blade sitting at the counter. When everyone else entered the room-either to see what Oak was stuttering on about, or simply to eat, they jumped about five feet in the air in response to the…odd…new development.

"Sheesh, you can stop reacting like that whenever you see me. I know you aren't comfortable around giant scorpions, but you can at least have some courtesy," I complained…and blinked rapidly. "Wait, did I just speak En-"

"You're a Gallade!" He observed. I stared at him, looking at him as if he had a third eye in the middle of his forehead.

"Uh; Nooo, I'm reasonably sure I'm a Drapion." I replied blankly.

"See for yourself." Pikachu added, holding up a mirror that he'd retrieved from…somewhere. (Don't think too hard about it.)

My eyes widened, and I looked at my arms, starting as I realized they were blades.

"H-how…what…" I breathed disbelievingly, examining my appearance. "Hold on, why can I speak English if I'm a pokemon?"

"Certain species' vocal cords are capable of formatting human languages, with the proper-albeit quite difficult and lengthy-training. As you were a human-and consequently already understand how to format such speech, and as Gallades are in this select category of pokemon, that would be why you can talk." Max explained.

"…Oh." I replied, obviously not understanding a word. Then again, neither did anyone else.

"Wait, wait. Why is he a Gallade in the first place?" Dawn asked, confused.

"I believe that strange light somehow caused an instability in his genetic structure…causing him to change species at random." The professor deduced quickly. Everyone gasped.

"But what kind of 'strange light' could cause genetic instability?" Brock asked.

Pikachu suddenly had a thought. "I've got it!"

I blinked, turning to him. "You do?"

"Palkia's Spatial Rend attack can jumble up an organism's genetic code if it's too close to the attack's point of impact, (A very specific distance, mind you; too far away, and it will just blow the person a few miles away; too close, and the unfortunate specimen gets splattered. TL,DR: Not a good day for the specimen) and tends to have a purple glow." He explained simply.

'Purple glow…' I mused mentally. "Yes, you're right!" I exclaimed, turning back to the group. "I know what the light was!"

"Wait, what?" Oak asked incredulously, stunned that Ash, of all people, had such a brainstorm. 'Maybe that new psychic type is actually making him…smart?' He thought.

"A Spatial Rend attack!" I exclaimed triumphantly. Everyone sweatdropped. '…Never mind.'

"…When Sinnoh is over four thousand miles away, and Palkia probably isn't even in this dimension? Yeah, that sounds really plausible." Max asked flatly.

"We could probably ask one of the legendaries where it is." I replied sheepishly.

"…What?" Everyone deadpanned.

"And who do you propose we go to? The legendary birds, who are so asinine and territorial that they'd probably kill us all on sight-despite the dire punishment Lugia would undoubtedly give them? Manaphy, who is riding around in the ocean currents and is only-He-knows-where?" Oak asked.

"One, you wouldn't be going; Two, I know a legendary or tw-" I began, before Pikachu cut me off.

"Latias?" Pikachu interrupted, winking at me for reasons I didn't entirely understand. I sincerely hoped my friend wasn't having a stroke.

"Uh, yeah. Her," I replied flatly. "And don't interrupt me next time. And why do you keep winking at me? Stop it!" Everyone sweatdropped.

"Same mannerisms, different species." Oak joked.

*Shwing!* "What was that?" I growled, readying a Slash.

"N-nothing…" He trailed off nervously.

"Sheesh, what's gotten into you?" Pikachu asked, surprised at his trainer's (excessively; remember, Ash Ketchum) rash behavior.

"Gallades are quite defensive and value honor above all else, so any insult directed at one is taken as a questioning of their dominance. The most common causes of death-in both wild and trained Gallades-are suicide and fatal wounds, the latter typically being the result of fights to the death over their own honor." Max explained excessively.

"Okay Encyclopedia Kid, so what's the best way to get to Alto Mare from this lab?" May snarked.

"The Kanto-Johto Ferry Line serves as a link between the two continents, and among its main stops are Alto Mare Harbor, Olivine City Harbor, and Vermillion City Harbor. The line's flagship is the S.S. Milotic, which is on its final voyage to Slateport City, where it will be sold for scrap, the rest given to the local naval museum." He replied. His sister sweatdropped.

"Wow, I wasn't actually expecting you to know that." She replied honestly.

"But on occasion, some of its smaller ships stops at the dock right here in Pallet Town," He added. "In fact, a ferry should arrive here in about five minutes."

"How incredibly convenient," Dawn deadpanned. "Especially that he knows the exact schedule of every ship."

"Hey, I'm not complaining!" I protested. "The sooner we can get to Palkia, the better!"

"Riiight…" Misty deadpanned, not encouraged in the slightest. On the contrary, she was rather frightened about the prospect. Even for Ash, this plan sounded pretty foolish.

"Do you think we could at least get something to eat fi-" May began, before I wrapped my arms around the lot of them and dragged them right out of the front door, slipping my arm back in and retrieving my hat.

"No time; we can eat on the ship!" I exclaimed, sprinting off toward the docks.

"Hey, you gonna leave without saying goodbye?" Gliscor called, mocking hurt.

"If you want to talk, you're going to have to come with us!" I called.

"Sounds good to me!"

"Gliscor wait, are you sure that's such a-" Bulbasaur began, before the FlyScorpion flew right over him and caught up with his trainer's group. "-good…idea…" He trailed off weakly, sighing in exasperation and rubbing his temples with his vines. "And now I remember why I stayed here. Oh well, here I go again…"

"Cheer up, Bulbasaur! At least you'll be back with the old gang again!" Totodile chattered excitedly.

He sighed again. "Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of."

"Could one of you bring him his pokeballs? I can't have him taking all of you without your containment." Oak handed Infernape a large briefcase of pokeballs, and Bulbasaur scowled at the term "containment."

"Vile humans…treating us like pets and prisoners…" He grumbled.

"Sheesh, when did you get so resentful of humanity? Lighten up, it's not like we're in a Nazi death camp." Infernape rebuffed. Everyone winced. "…Too soon?"

"Yes." Torterra commented offhandedly as she tromped past them, making a point to hit the fire ape with the tree on her back.

"Though to avoid attention, may I suggest you stay in your balls for the time being?" Oak added. Everyone paused, going back to where the professor was. Infernape handed him back the briefcase, and the old man quickly returned all of them, rushing out to the dock. "Ash! Wait up!"

"Huh?" I began, turning out from the side of the retreating boat.

"Take these!" The professor called, throwing the briefcase toward the boat…with nowhere near enough force. (So much for anime physics.) Thinking quickly, I stopped the fall with a quick Psychic and safely retrieved it.

"What's in here, anyway?" I asked.

"Most of your pokemon!" He replied.

Nearly everyone in the group gaped openly. "Wait, what?" By the time I'd asked that, the boat was already too far away from shore.

"Well…may as well let a few of them out."

"But probably not a lot; we don't want to look conspicuous."

"Is an annoying Gliscor conspicuous?" May deadpanned, glaring over her shoulder at the excited scorpion doing laps above the ship.

"Hey!" He protested.

"Okay…Grovyle,-*Record pausing*

(I'm keeping Ash's Sceptile a Grovyle because they're made of raw ninja awesome, and in comparison Sceptile is…To be blunt, it sucks. It's all bulky and has those yellow back…things.)

-Heracross, Bayleef, and Bulbasaur, come on out!" I threw the four pokeballs, which released their prisoners-figuratively speaking; I've heard they're quite comfortable-onto the deck.

The giant rhinoceros beetle immediately tried to suck the nectar out of Bulbasaur's flower.

"AAAAAHHH! GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF ME!" He exclaimed frantically. I promptly grabbed the bug from underneath his arms and held him away. "Eeeugh, you're disgusting!" He snapped.

"This is your captain speaking. The ferry trip to Il Porto Della Città D'acqua will take approximately…hmm, let's see here…*sound of pages being turned*…ah, yes; ten hours. Please enjoy your stay aboard the S.S. Minidraco. The snack bar opens in about thirty minutes, ample time for you to settle into your rooms and unpack." The captain intoned over the P.A.

"Thirty minutes? Aaaaww…" I complained, stomach rumbling hungrily in agreement.

"He's probably right; we should get to our rooms," Brock said. Considering that he was carrying all of the luggage, you could see how he might be a little eager to put it all down. "Quickly…" He groaned, the heavy load already slipping out of his grasp.

During all of this, Bayleef had simply been staring at me, trying in vain to do so discreetly.

"Hey," Grovyle said simply, tapping her on the shoulder and interrupting her reverie. "Look, I know how much you want to pounce him right here on the deck, but I don't think anyone-Ash included-would appreciate it. The only place I could think of would be a small, enclosed space where people change frequently, like a walk-in closet or a bathroom," He blinked, and you could practically see the Nasty Plot thought bubbles form over the dinosaur's head. "I just said that, didn't I?"

"Yeah…yeah, you did." She replied, voice carrying a sly tone. "I've got it!" She realized quietly, tromping off toward my group's room. How she knew where it was without being told, one could never guess. (Actually, she'd glanced at one of their tickets to find the room number.)

"Aren't you at least going to tell me what 'it' is? Hold up!" He called, quickly following her. "And if you're thinking what I think you are, don't go through with it!"

"I wonder where Bayleef and Grovyle are going off to…?" Misty wondered idly as she looked after them, Azurill trilling happily in her arms.

"Eheheh…I have a few ideas…" Brock added slyly. Max yanked his ear toward the deck, causing him to crash to the ground along with everyone's luggage.

We helped him pick up the luggage, deciding to take some of it off of his hands as we walked to the room. (Yes, one room for the whole group. Who knew such a small ferry would have such expansive accommodations?)

*Scene Flip*

Walk-In Closet

Grovyle's Perspective

"Bay, I still don't think this is a very good idea!" I hissed from behind a shroud of complimentary robes.

"Well, you're not the one who came up with this plan." She countered from underneath a pile of empty shoeboxes. Why there was a pile of empty shoeboxes just lying around in the closet, well...

We heard the room door creak open as the luggage plopped down right outside the closet door, and I noticed wide, white feet from underneath the slit at the bottom.

'Okay, here goes nothing…' She thought determinedly.

Bayleef's Perspective

The door opened, and I heard the Gallade whistle idly as he unzipped Brock's suitcase to unpack a few of his clothes for him.

While his back was turned, I cleverly slid a vine to the door lock and turned it shut, at the same time slinking a vine right up behind the boy's middle.

Just before he could detect that something was amiss, I made my move, grabbing him around the midsection and tackling him to the ground. "WAA-" He began to scream, before I clamped my vines over his mouth. When he noticed it was me, he relaxed, and I removed my vines out of courtesy. "Oh, it's just you. Always finding new ways to sneak in a Body Slam, huh?" He asked weakly, aching from the heavy weight that was now compressing his internal organs. "Uh…mind getting off of me now? I really need to catch that buffet before all of the other passengers get there and take all of the good stuff."

I just smirked. "…Bayleef?" He asked weakly.

"Wait, what are you-!" He yelped as I-this-is-not-a-smutfic-so-the-narrator-is-not-going-to-go-into-details-You-Perverts. "Bayleef, stop it!"

I still ignored him, and pretended not to notice Grovyle slink out of the room and quietly close and lock the door behind him. "I don't plan on it…in fact, I've been waiting for this for a long time. And now seems like the perfect opportunity."

"What are-…oh no." As realization hit him, I rolled my eyes. "Oh no," His pupils began to shrink, as the color drained out of his features. "You aren't seriously thinking of…" I gave him a slight smirk of confirmation.

"Well, look who finally realized the obvious…Anyway, enough talk." I finished.

*Scene Flip*

Buffet Bar

Third Person Perspective

"Where could Ash possibly be?" Misty asked worriedly, glancing around the area and frowning when she failed to notice the trainer-turned-Drapion-turned-Gallade.

"Yeah, it's never like him to miss free food." Brock joked. Everyone chuckled.

"Really." May added.

Pikachu's ear twitched as he heard something from the group's room, and he looked up from his food dish for a more intent eavesdrop. When he realized what the noise was, his eyes widened to comic proportions and his jaw slacked slightly. Quickly pretending that he hadn't heard anything, he returned to his food. 'Heh,' He thought jokingly. 'Sounds like someone is getting lucky. But wait…' The mouse glanced around the table…and other than Ash, only Bayleef was absent… 'Agh, she must have caught him unawares! If I'd been there, I could have stopped her!' He nearly smacked himself on the forehead in lament.

"Well, I'm full. Think we should go back to the room?" Brock suggested.

Pikachu almost spoke up, before remembering that only Ash could translate his words into English for him. He supposed they would just have to find out for themselves.

"I don't see why not." Misty replied, and the group all headed for the entrance.

*Scene Flip*

Walk-In Closet

Ash's Perspective

I was sitting up against the wall, holding my head in my blades and banging the back of my head against it. Bayleef was lying on her side next to me.

"Well," Bayleef began awkwardly. Suddenly, she sighed…ruefully? "What was I thinking? Why did I even go through with it this time? Or any time? Why couldn't I just forget it all?" She lamented.

"I never thought such an emotion was the kind of thing one could disregard." I replied weakly.

She raised an eyebrow noticeably at this comment. "What, so losing your virginity has turned you into this 'philosopher' all of a sudden?" She joked bluntly, and blinked. "Huh. Never thought I'd say that."

I scowled at her. "By the way, everyone else has just entered the room, and the girls are on their way in here right now." She paled slightly. "And you have no place to hide in such a short period of time, so we have no choice but to wait for them."

"…Greeat." She moaned, as the door swung open.

Narr: …Yeah. I went there. I stated, breaking the silence.

Latios: Why do you keep narrating the tone of your speech? It's becoming very annoying!

Narr: Because I'm the narrator, duh. I stated in exasperation.

Latios: …What's a "narrator?"

Narrator: *Facepalm* I facepalmed.

Google Translat-ion Convention: "Minidraco" is Dratini's French name. "Il Porto Della Città D'acqua" is Italian for "The Harbor of the Water City."

-~RCTM~-