*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*Chapter 3*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* -

After about an hour, Megan went and sat on Bilbos' bench. Most of the hobbit kids had gone home by then, so she was catching her breath and taking in the sights from the Hill.

It was then she spotted a young (but not too young) Hobbit-girl sitting and crying in the road a little ways down the path. Megan immediately got up to see what was the matter.

"Are you ok?" She asked.

The Hobbit -girl sniffled and looked up. "That Drogo Baggins! He's so mean!"

"Want me to go talk to him? My name is Megan, what's yours?"

"Primula. He's over there with his friends, I'd be awfully grateful if you could tell him to leave me alone! He might listen to you." She pointed, and Megan spotted the young Baggins. She figured she was talking to Primula Brandybuck. Someday, she knew they would get married and have a son, Frodo. Also she knew she must handle this with care, if that were to happen!

So she went up to the small group of young (but not too young) Hobbit-boys. "Yo! Which one of ya'll is Drogo Baggins?" She asked, letting her southern twang seep into her voice. She hoped this would communicate that they didn't want to mess with her.

A black-haired Hobbit-boy stepped forward. "What can I do for you, Ma'am?" He asked politely.

"You can be nice to Primula, for starters." At this Megan crossed her arms. "I don't wanna hear about why you did whatever you did, but making a girl cry is the worst excuse! If you don't apologize right now, I'll go tell your cousin Bilbo that he should have a talk with your parents!"

Any other child from her home world would've laughed in her face. But Drogo looked genuinely scared, Megan guessed that his parents expected him to be a gentlemen at all times. Especially to a lady.

"I-I'll apologize right away, please don't tell my father!" He said in a slightly squeaky voice.

Megan relented. "As long as you say sorry to her, your dad won't hear a word. I swear."

The young Baggins ran off in the direction of Primula as his friends snickered. Megan turned to look sternly at them, and they clamped their mouths shut at the sight of this Big Persons' glare. "I wouldn't make fun if I were you," She warned. "you're next!" She pointed to a random Hobbit-boy with light brown hair. They nodded and rushed off, and Megan went back towards Bilbos' house.

Megan retrieved her messenger bag from where she'd stowed it under the bench before playing with the kids. Taking a deep breath, she went and rang the bell at Bilbos' door.

He poked his head out to see who it was. "Megan, is it? Is Gandalf still here?" He whispered.

"Haha, no. He ditched me, and now I got nowhere to go. I'm very sorry Bilbo, but could I spend just the night here? Tomorrow I'll make my way home, but I'm beat. I promise not to be a pain!"

He opened his door wide, a sign of welcome. "Not at all! I just didn't want to be wrapped up in any adventure! Please come in! It's about time for elevensies!"

Megan had forgotten how hungry she was! Her stomach rumbled loudly, and it echoed through the Hobbits' little house. Bilbo turned to stare at her with a confused look. Several seconds passed before Megan finally broke the ice. "Sorry. Gandalf kinda starved me!" At this her and Bilbo chuckled.

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They spent almost the whole day talking. Bilbo seemed very curious about where his visitor came from. "Another world? Is it a lot like this one or is it...different?"

Megan thought about that carefully before she answered. "Well, pretty much radically different. But I won't bore you with many details. The people are waaay more rude though, even the children. Not to mention the air is filthy, compared to this place."

"I can't begin to imagine! But I must ask, did you bring anything from your world? Not to be rude of course!"

"No, it's ok to ask. Let's see...aha!" She brought out her Trio T4 MP3 player. "This handy little device plays music, here, let's find something..." She trailed off as she turned it on and selected 'Moonlight Serenade' by Glenn Miller. Her and Bilbo sat and listened to the soft music for a while as they finished their food. When it was done, the Hobbit stood up.

"That was lovely! Now please, make yourself at home while I fix some bathwater for you. So you can relax."

"Oh Bilbo, you shouldn't have to-"

"Nonsense! It's the least I can do for my guest!" Bilbo waved his hand dismissively.

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It was a little awkward, getting into a Hobbit-sized tub when you're a full-grown woman in your early twenties. But somehow Megan managed. She unplugged her headphones and turned the music all the way up as she tried to relax. As it was getting dark, she was in the middle of washing her hair the best she could. Slowly she began to sing along with 'Top of the world' by The Carpenters. She had just rinsed her hair when the door opened.

"So this is the bathroom-" Said a voice. Megan looked up at two dwarves, one blonde and one with dark hair. Their eyes widened when they caught sight of her in the tub.

"AAAAHHHHHHHH!" Megan and the dwarves screamed, her throwing a towel (Hobbit-sized) over her body and the dwarves trying to fit through the door at the same time.

The door slammed, and Megan tried to calm her breathing. "Well, I guess it's time to get out!" She mumbled.

After she got out, she went through her bag. Her and the other girls had been planning a sleepover at Stellas' grandmas'. So thankfully she had stuffed her bag (almost to bursting) with clothes and other useful things. Toiletries, hair care, entertainment. So she pulled on her panda pajamas and went to see what her host was up to.

Dwarves. Everywhere. Poor Bilbo was gazing sadly at the state of his pantry. The dwarves were having a belching contest, and the one that Megan reconized as Ori won.

Bilbo sighed, then turned around.

"Don't look at me, I didn't invite 'em!" Was the first thing Megan said.

"I know. It was Gandalf." Bilbo then went to have a talk with said wizard. First things first though, he had to snatch one of his doilies from a dwarf.

"But it's full o' holes!" Said another dwarf. Megan almost danced, it was Bofur!

"it's crotchet." Bilbo replied.

"And a good game that," Bofur said. "if you got the balls for it!" Everyone in earshot laughed.

Bilbo then found Gandalf, and Megan decided to listen in. "...Don't want to get used to them! I don't understand what they're doing in my house!"

"Excuse me," Said Ori politely. "I don't mean to interuppt, but what should I do with my plate?"

"Here Ori, give it to me!" A dwarf with blonde hair took the plate. He stopped when he saw Megan, and they both blushed.

Before he could say anything, she said, "Don't mention it. It's fine, really."

He nodded gratefully before tossing the plate to his brother, who still couldn't look Megan in the eye. So she just stood in awe as the dwarves tossed the dishes to each other without dropping anything.

"You hear that lads? He says we'll blunt the knives!" Bofur said meaningfully from the table.

Blunt the knives

Bend the forks...

The dwarf Megan knew to be Kili began. Soon the others joined in.

Smash the bottle & burn the corks

Chip the glasses & crack the plates

That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!

Megan and Gandalf stood and watched happily while Bilbo proceeded to have a mini-freak out about his things.

That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!

So carefully! carefully with the plates!

Megan wrapped up. The dwarves cheered her on as there was a banging on the door.

"He's here." Gandalf said. Megan huddled behind the dwarves without knowing why. As the door was opened, there stood a regal-looking dwarf.

"Gandalf." He said as he stepped inside. "I thought you said this house was easy to find. I wouldn't have if there was no mark on the door."

As Bilbo started to say there was no mark, the newcomers' gaze landed on Megan. She gulped, but stood up straight and did a curtsy like a proper southern girl should, and said,

"How do you do Sir?"

The dwarf smiled. Gandalf did the introductions. "Bilbo, Megan, this is Thorin Oakenshield."

Megan immediately went to shake his hand. "Megan Gardner."

"It's nice to meet you, Gandalf did not say the house would have a lady present." Said Thorin.

And with that, introductions were made with everyone. As Megan was shaking hands with both Bofur and Dori, (they had grabbed hands from either side, so her arms were criscrossed) she caught Gandalf and Thorin talking privtely.

Oh, she wished she knew what they were talking about!

"So Lass, how'd you end up the lady of a Hobbit house?" Asked Gloin.

"Oh nonono, I don't live here..." And she told them how she ended up there.

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As the dwarves sat around the table, Megan stood behind Thorin with Gandalf. They were talking about their quest when Bilbo asked, "You're going on a quest?"

"Bilbo, I think we could use a little more light!" Gandalf said, and the hobbit went to get one.

"Gandalf says you are a warrior." Thorin didn't play around. Megan cleared her throat.

"Well, I was wearing this shirt.."

"Aye, you respond to the threat of..." Balin paused as he tried to remember. "Zombies. Tell me Lass, what exactly is a zombie?" All the dwarves, the wizard, and even the hobbit waited for her to answer.

"Wwweeellll." She began. Taking a deep breath, she just told them without thinking. "Zombies are reanimated corpses that eat live flesh." Around the table, silence.

"You actually have that kind of threat in your home world? No wonder you came here!" Bofur declared, and the rest agreed with him.

"Ahh, well they don't actually exist..."

"But your people believe they will come?" Thorin asked, raising an eyebrow.

Megan thought about that. "A lot of people believe that someday, our world will be taken over, yes. " It wasn't technically a lie.

"So they train warriors to deal with them, correct?" Was Thorin really buying this?

Megan remembered her sisters' 'Dixon Training Camp' t-shirt. Again, not really a lie. "Exactly."

They started talking amongst themselves, and Megan wondered what she got herself into.

"Well why not have a bodyguard for the burglar!" Ori suggested. Megan at this point wanted to sink into the groud and dissappear.

"A burglar? You'll need an expert I imagine!" Bilbo said.

"And are you?" Oin asked.

"A-am I what?"

"He said he's an expert!" Oin had misheard.

As they started to argue ("The wild is no place for gentle folk who cannot fight nor fend for themselves!" Dwalin said.) Megan felt very small. But she didn't know what she was gonna do about the situation.

"If I say Mr. Baggins is a burglar, then a burglar he is!" Gandalf towered over the group, his voice booming, and it seemed like the room had gotten darker.

"Fine, we'll do it your way." Thorin said in a low voice. He had Balin give Bilbo a contract. The king looked over at Megan and asked. "And what should we do about you?"

"Um, I'm not really interested in money. But if I'm hired, the burglar will be my sole responsibility. You won't have to worry 'bout him, ok?" She replied politely.

"Understood. But you must have some sort of reward, name it."

Megan thought, what should I ask for? Before she could think of anything, Bilbo looked from his contract to the group of dwarves.

"Incineration?" He asked.

"Aye, he'll melt the flesh off yer bones in the blink of an eye!" Bofur said, as brightly as if recalling a pleasant memory.

The hobbit bent over and put his hands on his knees. Megan thought he looked like he was going to be sick. Balin must have been on the same level of thought, because he asked,

"You alright Laddie?"

"Yeah, I feel a bit faint..." Bilbo sure sounded faint.

"Think furnace, with wings!" Apparently Bofur wasn't finished. "Flash of light, searing pain then PUF!* You're nothin' more than a pile of ash!" Megan nudged his leg from where she was standing, but he just shrugged as if to say, What?

Bilbo held a breath, let it out, and simply said "Nope." Before he did collapse.

"Very helpful, Bofur." Gandalf chatsised him. Bofur only cocked his in confusion at Bilbos' unconsious form.

"You coulda left out the part about the searing pain." Megan told him.

"I guess I should have. I didn't know he'd take it like that!"

"Haha. You gotta remember dude, he's not used to this kinda thing. Except maybe in stories. He's what you'd call a rich boy."

"Well," Gloin said as he picked up the poor hobbit. "can't leave him in the floor, can we?"

They decided to rest him on the couch. "Tell us about zombie training!" Ori pleaded. The other dwarves looked on in curiousity.

"Well, the most tried and true method to kill a zombie for good is a head shot.." Megan told them everything she knew about zombies, though Katie was the real 'expert'.

Later, she heard Gandalf trying to convince Bilbo to accept the job. So she went to hang out with the others for a while. Kili and Fili turned a corner and almost ran into her.

"Sorry." Kili still couldn't look her in the eye.

"Hey man. Please don't make a lot of the whole 'you caught me in the tub' thing. It happens. I'm not mad, in fact I almost forgot all about it! So c'mon, let's just be friends. We can't travel together if we can't even look at each other." When he finally looked at her, she was smiling.

Both brothers breathed a sigh of relief. Fili swung his arm around her waist. "Well, let's go and get to know one another more. It's not everyday we get to talk with such a lovely lady!"

She blushed, and a lot of dwarves laughed.

As they were talking quietly (Megan was more listening, she could barely keep her eyes open) Thorin walked into the parlor. She knew they were going to sing, so she whipped out her phone and set it on record.

Far over the Misty Mountains cold

To dungeons deep, and caverns old

We must away, ere break of day

To claim our long-forgotten gold...

Megan recorded the song, and when they stopped she saved the video. She planned to send it to Katie, who'd flip at the sight of Thorin singing.

They continued to talk of dark and business-like things, and though she tried to keep up, she drifted off sometime in the night. Before she was completely asleep, she felt a blanket or something pulled over her. She simply wrapped it around herself and fell deeper into senseless dreams.

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Again Megan was poked and prodded awake.

"I don't wanna go to school! Tell 'em I'm dead!" She complained. Then she heard everyone laughing at her, so she groaned as she remembered all the events since she'd come to M.E.

"We saved some breakfast for ya! Hurry up before Bombur eats it all!" Bofur pushed a plate of bacon and eggs and toast at her. She ate it, but being basically on autopilot she wasn't ready to talk.

Later, she dug through her bag again to look for adventuring clothes. To her dismay, the only other outfit she'd packed was a grey-blue sweater dress and black leggings. And the only shoes she had were the combat boots she wore when she met Gandalf.

But she went into the bathroom to change. Coming out, there was no sight of the dwarves. They were packing when she changed, how did they move out so fast?

"You can still catch up with them, if you hurry!" Gandalf said from behind her. She squealed a little at the fright. "Hush! You'll wake Bilbo!"

"But-" She began.

"No time for it!" The wizard started to shoo her out.

"But-" She said again.

"No time for that either! Now go!"

And before she knew what was happening, she was out the door. Her bag was swinging behind her, she was running so fast. Finally, she caught up to Thorin and his company.

"We were afraid you wouldn't make it!" Bofur exclaimed. The others cheered at the sight, and Thorin ordered a small horse for her.

"You didn't think I was breakin' up with ya, didja Bofur? I couldn't leave you!" They all laughed, as her and Bofur declared they were 'bestest friends' the night before.

"Nor could I break up with you!" He laughed.

Megan caught Fili smiling at her, but she tried to focus her attention on getting on the damn horse.

"And where's our burglar?" Dwalin asked.

"He's comin'." Megan said.

"I bet you he's not." Dwalin replied meaningfully.

"Are you wantin' to bet he will? 'Cause you're on!" Megan bet all her change on Bilbo showing up. She wondered whether it was fair, because she'd read the books and seen the movie on their adventure.

"I agree with the bodyguard! He'll catch up!" Fili told Nori.

"Well get ready to lose!" Nori said.

And so everyone made bets on the burglar.

A/N: I hope it's ok, I tried to make it longer!