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Keeping a secret is a burden,
Not being told is agony.
Twisting the reality into something less truth,
Is that the same as lying?
Being told a truth that hurts,
You might want to get it untold.
So when are those white lies appropriate?
No one knows,
No one gets wiser.
It's the human mind that has to decide,
What's wrong and what's right.
Tyson notices how his hands tremble as he attaches Dragoon to his launcher. But he can't say it it's due to his tumour or his nerves, but he's sure that he hides his nervousness from the rest of the team, especially Kai. Kai, his cold heartless captain as Tyson calls him, seems to watch his every move nowadays. It just makes everything worse to hide, lie and come up with excuses for. You never know if he buys them or sees how his nose is growing, just like Pinocchio when he was telling a lie. The breeze from the sea plays with his hair as he's finally ready to let it rip.
Max, who's standing on the other side of the dish, smiles cheerfully as he also, attaches his new beyblade to his launcher. The blonde half Japanese will get an advantage since they'll be playing close to the water, Tyson finds himself thinking. A smirk grows on his lips as he is drawn back to his old beyblading ways of thinking. But Dragoon´s awesome storm will be able to beat him, anyway!
"Great to see that you're back on track T-man!" Max shouts.
"He-heh! Less talking and more beyblading, someone gonna count down or what?" Somehow he's able to hide his nerves and his natural cockiness is easy to hear.
Tyson feels alive once again as he pulls the ripcord, as he feels how that intense power is created in the palm of his hand as he sends his beyblade flying. He lets himself forget the pain, forget the ping pong ball in his head and he enjoys the battle. Sometimes adrenaline can do that to you. When you do something, pressing your body as hard as you can the pain fades away. But that doesn't mean it's not there. Tyson gasps as his beyblade is knocked out of the dish, it took him by surprise.
"Oh man, I lost!" Tyson complains as he kneels down to grab Dragoon.
"Tyson you're a little rusty, that's all! Let's try again."
A smile is about to emerge on the champion´s lips but a sudden throbbing pain turns it into a grimace. It feels as if something huge inside of his skull tries to puncture its way through the flesh and bone there, it takes all of Tyson´s will power to keep down the moan of pain that's lingering in his throat. He swallows it quickly and gets up on his feet in no time; surprised over the fact that his knees doesn't buckle under his weight. He forces a smile to his lips.
"Y-yeah!..Let´s…" Fuck I won't manage another round like this…
"Not a chance Max, it's my turn now." Rei tells the blonde. "I want to face your new beyblade, see if it's as tough as you make it seem."
Tyson sighs out of relief silently. He sends Rei a smile and thumbs up before he heads over to the lonely bench at the beach. He breathes out deeply as he sits there, finally safe. He runs a hand through his black blue-ish hair and tenses as he notices how sweat makes the strands rather wet. Since when did he sweat because one little round of beyblade? The throbbing inside of his skull seems to lessen as hi sits down but the pain is there. His brown eyes watch Rei and Max as they battle while his hearing catches the sound of Kenny discussing their training schedule with Kai. Without him noticing it, Tyson grabs his beyblade more firmly in his palm, squeezing it almost if he's begging his bitbeast for comfort.
Kai´s eyes moves from Kenny to the computer screen he gives a "hn…" when the computer nerd says something he agrees with. The quite chilly breeze from the sea moves his hair out of his face and it shows his crimson eyes more clearly. They're straining at the same part of the beach where they worked out during the time when the Saint Shields and Team Psychics were challenging them. The same place where Hilary saw a bitbeast for the very first time, where Tyson make her look dumb for not being able to notice them.
Kai is thankful for the fact that he took his thicker jacket this morning, instead of that sleeveless one he usually wears. You should never underestimate the sea, ever. Kenny mentions the new defence strategy and he praises Judy and Max´s new blade, saying that it will help a lot. Kai snorts.
"It won't help us at all since her team, the All Stars are probably already informed about it."
"Oh." Kenny seems to notice the gap in his theory. "Yeah I guess…But if we use that against them we can overpower…"
Kai looks at him for a while before he turn away, sighing. He looks over at his team and watches the battle for a while. He can't hide it; he's impressed by Max´s new blade and the new and improved defence. But there's still a long way to go. He finds himself looking after the always loud Japanese, expecting him to be there close to the dish, but he finds him sitting at the bench. Something within him turns at the sight of the younger man sitting there with a distant expression on his face. The way he squeezes his blade doesn't go unnoticed, it is almost as he's seeking Dragoon´s protection…
"…Kai?" Kenny mutters as he notices that the captain hasn't been paying attention to what he has said these last minuets. Kenny´s green eyes show his irritation but still he holds back, afraid of the cold ice prince. The youngest in the group suddenly notices what Kai´s looking at and he also turns to look at Tyson.
"I guess he feels bad for losing to Max. Or pondering over how much hard work it will take to get him back in shape." Kenny tells him in a joke-tone.
"Hn."
Kai glances at Kenny for a second. Something about what the genius said makes him believe that it's far more complicated than it looks. That Tyson can be depressed over things other than beyblading, food and home works. At first he thought that Tyson was only trying to get away from training by over exaggerating things, like he always does. Kai recalls the emptiness in the other's eyes the day he fainted all of a sudden, and it feels so real. No one can lie this good; no one can pretend to be sick that excellent way. Tyson is a beyblader and not an actor. The thing is; he went to hospital, got his medicine and is supposed to get better but Kai can't see any progress at all.
He can't lie to himself, yes, he has been watching Tyson lately. Searching for every sign of pain or recovery from that so called "chest cold". But the only thing ha can see is how he acts differently than before, more edgy and less carefree. He can't say that he cares but he can't say that he doesn't and that bothers him. He feels torn in that matter not knowing where he stands. Something he hates just as much as not being able to reach perfection is to not be able to understand your own mind and actions.
Tyson looks at him all of a sudden, like he felt how he looked at him. Those hazelnut brow eyes meet his own for a quick moment before something like shock is reflected in his orbs, and he looks down to the ground. The Tyson Kai knows would have glared back at him, maybe even said something insulting before challenging him to a beyblade fight. His reaction is too weak. Kai´s stomach turns of uneasiness maybe even concern, a feeling that the captain ignores for the moment. He turns to Kenny.
"That's enough for today. I expect you to continue working with that theory of yours, remember not to copy too much from Judy."
"Y-yeah sure!" He squeaks.
Kai gives the brunette a weak nod before he walks away, approaching Rei and Max who are still battling each other. His jacket moves with the wind as he walks in the sand, his shoes sinking in the unstable surface. Kai knows just what he has to do to get the answers he wants. A pair of red eyes glances in Tyson´s direction before he interrupts the battle and tells them it's all for today.
Tyson sighs relived as the announcement of them ending practice early reaches his ears. He smiles as Max and Rei moves up to him, talking about their amazing battle. He listens and gives a comment or two acting as he is as he always been. Kenny approaches them with his laptop in his hands nearly shouting about their improvement in their defence. Max smiles cheerfully, his blue eyes sparkling as he agrees adding that he never has used a beyblade with better defence that the one his mom gave to him.
"Yeah Judy sure knows what she's doing!" Tyson agrees.
"Mm…I still need to get better though." Rei mutters. "I've only focused on speed and offence before…"
"You'll make it Rei! I know you can do it!" Max assures him with a thumb up.
The four friends chatter as they prepare to leave the beach. Tyson is forced to stay back for a while to clean his shoes from the sand that always seems to be able to enter inside. He balances slightly as he takes one of his shoes and wipes away the sand. He puts it on quickly so he can rejoin his friends but the voice of his captain stops him.
"Wait Tyson, I need to speak to you."
Kai walks up to him slowly with the wind blowing in his hair. Tyson nods slowly and waves to the other telling them he'll join them later. He turns to face Kai.
"Sure Kai. Anything for you." Tyson answers in a teasing manner.
"Hn…follow me." Kai doesn't seem to think it was fun in anyway.
They walk slowly along the beach and to Tyson´s displeasure new sand makes its way down his shoes. The itchy feeling forces him to walk wobbly but he stops when Kai sends him a glance. Tyson laughs it off and Kai snorts, looking away over the water. Tyson stops laughing as he watches how the sun seems to bounce from the water surface and hit Kai´s face; it makes him shine. The light makes his cold red eyes look warmer, it makes him look kind of soft…Tyson finds himself thinking. He's quick to shrug it off his mind. Tyson notices that his captain stopped walking just in time for him to evade walking straight into him. The Russian don't seem to have notice because his eyes are still at the horizon and the water.
"How sick are you, honestly?"
Kai´s usual cold, uncaring tone seems to be full of something else. It´s not concern but something close to it and a mixture of another thing you can't put your finger on. Tyson doesn't notice this since he's too surprised by the actual question. His shoulders turn stiff.
"W-what? I'm not sick, as I said it's a c-chest cold! And I'm getting better by the second. "
Kai turns around slowly and those red eyes of his turns darker as the sun no longer reach his face, instead it touches his back. The visible change in those orbs captivates Tyson for some seconds; calmness turns into intenseness in a matter of seconds.
"You may think that you can trick the others but I'm not that naïve."
"…" Shit!
Tyson glares at Kai as he approaches him slowly. He hates this situation really bad. Something about his trembling body language must have told him that he's about to escape because a hand grabs his arm firmly.
"I know that you're up to something…or maybe hiding something. You're easy to read, Tyson."
"I don't know what you're talking about. Now, let me go."
Tyson denies it quickly. He can almost hear the uneasiness in his own voice and that makes him sure that Kai also noticed it. He tries to shake him off but the grip on his arm only turns rougher. Panic starts to grow inside of his stomach as he starts thinking of what Kai might do to make him spill his secret. I've to get away!
"What if I say no?"
"I said let me go!" Desperation hear able in his voice.
"Tyson! I'm your captain. I'm responsible for your well being so tell me what's wrong before I…"
"What are you threatening me now? Honestly Kai this doesn't concern you, not at all! So just back off!!" Tyson yells angrily.
Kai flinch.
"Why so defensive? What are you…dying?" Kai yells at him with a challenging tone, also being sarcastic.
Kai smirks at Tyson´s shocked form, it's clear that he won the argument. But those small, narrow hazelnut brown eyes make him regret everything he said. He slowly let go of Tyson. The world champion just stands there staring at him with his mouth slightly opened, but no words leaves those lips of his. The smirk fades slowly and turns into a thin straight line. Something I said must have…Kai ponders while he watches how his team mate seems to tremble. But what?
"…Just…leave me alone!" The sentence starts as a low whisper but he screams the two last words in a loud high pitched voice.
Kai´s crimson eyes gets narrow as he regards how Tyson looks at him with pain in his eyes. He has never seen Tyson crying but this is close to doing just so. His heart starts to beat loudly and painfully in his cold chest and Kai almost reaches out for Tyson as he turns around and runs away. Fingers twitching before he closes them into fists, Kai regards Tyson´s back as he disappears from his view. Red eyes flutter close as a deep breath leaves his pale, dry lips. But they snap open as reality hits him hard. Why so defensive? What are you…dying? Kai start to move slowly. It can't be…And the pain in his heart grows tenfold.
The sound of the pond can be hear able through the thin bamboo walls into the dojo. Gramps sits there alone with his legs crossed and eyes closed, his long kendo sword lies in front of him. He's been practising and is now meditating in search for his inner calmness. The old sword of stone is still standing there but the place where Dragoon ones was is lost. The sword has been passed down from generation to generation to finally decorate this dojo. But it lingers sadness around the old and worn out weapon. A sudden loud sound interrupts Gramp´s meditation and he flinches as the door is pulled open roughly.
The older man stares at his grandson as he walks quickly across the room, in a stressful and angry manner, opens the other door to disappear into the main house. Another loud bump interrupts the silence as he shuts the door violently behind his back. One of the old paintings on the wall falls to the ground some seconds later. Gramps eyebrow starts to twitch as the door opens once again but it's Hiro this time.
"Hey Gramps, what was that sound?"
Gramps gets of the floor and walks over to the fallen drawing; he puts it back on its rightful place carefully. Hiro follow his movements waiting for an answer.
"Tyson just came home."
"I'll try to talk to him." Hiro suggests in a tired way.
The older of the two brothers makes his way towards the younger´s room. He feels slightly irritated because Tyson has somehow angered him and gramps today again. Something about the youth has changed, Hiro doesn't know what, but no matter what it's it affects the whole family. Tyson´s mood swings are starting to get really annoying. In the beginning he seemed to think about his future and started working a lot, both with school and in the home but lately he has stayed in the room of his all day. But Hiro thought that meeting the Bladebreakers again would change him back into that cheery brother he knew. Maybe he's still sick from that chest cold. Loud music is hear able through the walls so Hiro knocks on the door rather loudly.
"Hey, Tyson we need to talk."
"…Not now Hiro." His brother's voice is hard to hear through the wooden door."I´m doing my homework."
"How can you concentrate with that noise? Seriously Tyson I'm coming in."
And he grabs the handle and pushes it down only to notice that it's locked. Tyson has never locked his door before. Hiro´s eyes narrow slightly as he pushes the handle some more in case he is mistaken; but it's locked. He knocks on the door again harder this time to make Tyson hear it through the music.
"Tyson! Open the door."
"What did you say? I can't hear you."
"Turn down the damn music!"
Hiro gets no answer at all this time. Sure it's possible that Tyson can't hear him but something makes him believe that he's choosing not to hear. This angers him but he controls himself with a deep exhale of air and he leaves.
All Tyson sees is his room's door as he walks through the dojo quickly. He doesn't stop to greet his grand father that is as usual meditating around this time of the day. He can't risk it; he just knows that if he tries to talk to them he would start weeping. The tears well up on his eyelids as he grabs the door handle and enter his room, his safe place. He throws himself toward the bed and hides his face in the sheets. He reaches out for his radio and turns it on hoping that the cheery pop song will drown his cries. Kai knows. Tyson punches his pillow. "Why so defensive? What are you…dying?" Kai asked him clearly and it was like a punch to his groin.
Tyson doesn't want his friend to know about his tumour, he wants them to stay happy and focused now when the tournament is coming. Not worrying over him all the time while he gets sicker by the day. He wants to spare them that pain and bear it by himself. He wants to protect them somehow by taking it on himself but he's sure that if they found it they'll think that he's egoistic by not telling them. Their pain will be there in their eyes anyway but he'll not be there to witness it. Maybe he wants to be egoistic, just this time. But Kai he…
"Tyson, we need to talk."
His older brother's voice reaches him somehow through the music and his sobs. Tyson grits his teeth to evade another sob from leaving his lips. He doesn't want to talk to him; he doesn't want to talk to anyone. He pushes himself up a little to answer.
"…Not now Hiro." He takes a deep breath. "I'm doing my homework."
He lies once again. All these lies make the burden harder to bear, but he can't stop it. Believing that this is the best he continues to deceive them. Being lied to is pain, not being told is agony and keeping a secret is a heavy burden so why do humans lie? When are those white lies okay? Tyson doesn't know everything just seem meaningless. He puts a tiny pill on his tongue and swallows hoping that the medicine will stop the growing pain in his head and in his heart.
"How can you concentrate with that noise? Seriously Tyson I'm coming in."
Tyson lies back on the bed holding his hands to his ears. He doesn't want to hear it. But the sound of Hiro yanking the door handle reaches him anyway. Not remembering when he locked the door the Japanese teen sigh out of relief; he's still safe. But the loud knocks on the door makes him uneasy and slightly panicked.
"Tyson! Open the door."
"What did you say? I can't hear you." Tyson whispers against his sheets.
"Turn down the damn music!"
He lied again and Hiro went away somewhere. Tyson lies there with his face against the sheets just waiting for more knocks or maybe even that his brother kicks down the door or something drastic like that. But nothing happens.
It's hard to calm yourself down but the Japanese teen tries. For once he listens to his grand father's advice and starts to meditate to find his inner peace. He's sitting there crossed legged in front of the katana he once got Dragoon from so many year back. His shoulders is at first very tense but he relaxes as the time passes by, with a deep breath as calm as he can become. Meditation is something he has always done through the years but to be honest, Tyson only meditated because his Gramps told him to. He thought it was meaningless and a waste of time but now he sees how it can affect the mind. And it feels like it's time to be careful with the time he has left. Sometimes when you meditate it can feel as if your mind leaves the body. Tyson feels weightless and he doesn't notice when Gramps joins him.
His mind travels through his memories slowly showing him how fun had with his team before, it also shows him his pain when he found out that he was sick. It makes him think about life in a different way and now when there's a time limit Tyson has to choose what to do properly since he will disappear…soon. There are so many things he wants to do before he dies; like going to Egypt and visit the pyramids, ordering a cheeseburger without cheese at Mc Donald's, travel around the world, buy that candy machine he saw last week and of course win the world championships again. Knowing that there's no chance for him to do all that makes him feel quite stressed. He'll miss things that his friends will go through when they're older like…falling in love and maybe build up a family.
He feels how his calmness fades slowly and an irritation takes the emotions place. His relaxed shoulders get tense once again as he sits there on the floor in silence.
"GAAH! I can't take this anymore!" He yells all of a sudden as he punches the floor violently with his fist.
Gramps flinch. "Tyson take it easy…" For once he sounds as how a real grand parent should sound, without some "Cool" accent.
Tyson who didn't know that Gramps was there flinches too as he notices.
"Oh, Sorry Gramps! I just… remembered that I was supposed to meat up with the gang!"A lie, again.
"Tyson! You know …."
But he doesn't stay to listen. He hurries out, almost running, through the house. Just when he's about to leave he bumps into the person he least wanted to meet and that person is Hiro. Like a reaction the older grabs the younker's arm and brings him into a halt there in the corridor. Tyson has to fight within himself to keep his cool but his calm expression looks more like a grimace as he faces Hiro. The feeling of the need to run haunts him every second.
"Tyson?" What's wrong?
"S-sorry Hiro I've no time."
Tyson tries to break free from his grip but to no avail. His emotions, the confusion and stress make his hands weak and unable to push away the other. This situation reminds him of how Kai held him and that he wasn't able to defend himself back then either. Tyson doesn't know when he became this weak because it happened so slowly, that fact angers him. How can strength slip through his fingers like sand without him really noticing? Why in this rapid speed? It hits him every time; how this cancer affects his body and mind…it scares him. Kai….
"No take your time and explain your odd behaviour!"
"There's nothing to explain." I don't have enough time…!!
"Tell me!"
"There's nothing I said, now let me go, Hiro!"
The way Tyson yells out his name in desperation, fear and sadness takes the older by surprise. It's like he tells him that if he holds on to him much longer he'll fall apart. Hiro´s eyes widen at this and he let go of Tyson as if he burned himself and the younger takes advantage of this and flees out the door.
"Seriously Tyson! Don't come back until you've changed your rotten attitude!" Hiro growls furiously but his voice breaks with concern His angry eyes turn sad as he watches Tyson´s back as he runs through the yard.
"Hiro, whatta ya doing?" Gramps complains.
"Don't worry; he'll learn his lesson and come back here begging to be allowed inside." Hiro answers in a confident voice.
"You shouldn't have done that Hiro." Gramps tells him in a serious tone. "He's still just a …"
"Child? He's 18 now! He knows how to take care of himself."
"You can't kick people out of…" Gramps hits him lightly on his head with his kendo sword."…my dojo, Hiro!"
"I didn't kick him out he ran out!"
Tyson runs as fast as he can through the rain outside. He doesn't give a damn about how the wetness soaks his clothes and hair, he just runs as if he's fleeing from some monster. Breathing becomes a burden as he forces his already weak body to run more. Tyson doesn't know where he is heading so he lets his feet lead the way completely. Somehow, in his misery, he wishes that everything could end in that moment; just like that. No more pain, no more suffering and no more lies. But life is something you shouldn't wish to end, Tyson agrees with that and he'll cherish the time that's left.
Everything has become so complicated. Every lie has led him closer to a quarrel with his family and friends and he wonders if it's all worth it. Does it spare them their pain? When his shoe collides with a puddle of water does the drops drench his trousers, the soaked material is glued around his tights Tyson finds himself in an area where he's just been once before. The shock of finding himself here makes him slow down for a moment. Without thinking it through Tyson walks over to that familiar door. He knocks slowly.
His heart starts beating faster as someone opens the door slowly and in the doorway stands Hiwatari Kai just as if he expected him to come over. But the expression on the Russians face tells Tyson otherwise. Maybe the fever has gotten to him but in that moment he feels like everything is going to be alright. That he can trust him with all his secrets somehow. Tyson forces a smile to his already trembling lips.
"Kai I….I didn't know who to turn to…"
AN; I hope you liked it. and I also hope that everything makes sense to you. If you´ve any Ideas or thoughts about this story please ask or tell me. Reviews will always make my writing go better! so R&R if you want to. Have a "Happy"? Halloween. Ciao
