A/N: Okay here is Chapt 2. I've finished another chapter, I have 3 more ready to post. So I'll post agian when I have written another Chapter. Reviews make me write faster and better! If you have any questions ask me. Edward doesn't come in until the chapter after next....If I remember right. But there is the story behind him and Bella in the next chapter. THIS IS AN EDWARD AND BELLA STORY don't worry. That rhymed.

Disclaimer: My name is Natalie. Not Stephenie Meyer.


I came home just as it was getting dark. I hadn't thought what to tell Renee, I hadn't really thought at all. That's kind of the point spending the whole day getting high and sliced up. I might have drunk my stash of Vodka too....I was super messed up. But I couldn't stay out.

I'd been fucked up before and she didn't notice, so why should she now?

I swung open the front door, tripping a little over the metal plate.

"Isabella Marie Swan! Where have you been!" My mother yelled as soon as I walked in.

Oops. So she chooses NOW to be observant? Great.

"Heyyyy mommy. I just, yeah. I went...uhm.." At the end I dissolved into giggles.

She took 3 steps toward me, looking into my eyes.

"Are you high Bella? Have you been drinking?" She asked incredulously.

Gah! You got to be kidding me?! She never noticed nor cared before. Why now?!

"Gah! You got to be kidding me?! You never noticed nor cared before. Why now?!" Brain filter alert, brain filter alert.

Comprehension flashed on her face. "You've done this before Bella? You're on drugs!" She yelled, yanking my arms, making me stumble back.

I stuck my face in hers, mockingly. "Yes mommy, what the fuck are you gonna do bout it? You actually give a shit? I've been getting high for years you dumbass!" I slurred.

A sharp sting came across my face. I flinched back in suprise....then I laughed. I laughed so fucking hard I fell to the ground. Dissolved into a ball of giggles, I had tears streaming down my face.

"You're insane." She stated simply.

This made me laugh harder.

"hhhaa...Am...ahhhh....I....hhaaaaaa.....mommy!? hhahhhaah" I cried out.

I crawled to the stairs, but not before being pulled to my feet.

"Where do you think you're going?!" My mother was furious.

"I have to pee mommy. Alcohol kind of does that to you, you should know." I said condescendingly.

"I don't know what's gotten into you Isabella, I'm going to pass it off as the alcoholic, and....other substances." She let go of me, so I could walk up the stairs.

Ha! She can't even bring herself to say drugs! Truth was though, even if I wasn't fucked up right now, I probably would have had the same attitude towards her after what happened this morning.

After falling up the stairs...it was more of that than walking. I eventually made it up to the bathroom and took out my case. Razor, Razor, pretty Razor. My last memory was of pulling off my pants and deforming my long legs even more. Blood slowly trickling out....

I was sitting in a woman's lap. She was young, and had brown hair. I was a baby, cooing at her, until something else caught my attention. A baby boy, looking a tad bigger than me. He had bronze hair, and piercing green eyes. I cooed at him, lightly hitting his arm with mine. He was sitting on a man's lap. The man had slick blonde hair, and was also looking at the baby in his arms. I saw another man sitting across from us, who had dark hair and a mustache. He was laughing with the lady. The baby looked up at me, with a serious expression. I tapped his arm again, and he stared at it. Now the people were looking at us curiously. The baby touched my arm, and it felt like a jolt of electricity went through us. His green eyes, met my brown ones, and he smiled. "Oh, Charlie, it looks like love." The lady who was holding me laughed. "Carlisle. Control your son." The dark haired man ordered. I was looking at the boy, I think I knew his name. I think I heard it before....it was--

"BELLA! OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!" Phil's voice woke me up. I don't know how long I'd been asleep, but I could feel the sticky blood I was laying in. Some how I had switched positions and my hair was now matted in red. The toilet was covered in vomit.

"FUCK BELLA! If you don't unlock the door, I'll knock it down!!" Phil screamed again. Oh no. Oh no. Oh SHIT! I tried to scramble to hide it all, but I couldn't move.

"Phil, don't. She's probably getting up right now." Renee's voice was barely audible behind the door.

"Renee, you've been saying that for 45 minutes. How long has she been in there?"

"About 3 hours." Renee whispered.

"I'm going in....I'M COMING IN BELLA!" He shouted the last part.

Shit. Fuck. Damn it.

Three loud bangs is all it took for the door to give way. There was a gasp that went along with a cry, and a very low growl. Phil of course knew I cut myself, I mean, he raped me so he saw it of course. But I tried to keep them as hidden as possible. My mother however had NO idea. and the look on her face. She had a shaking hand pressed up against her mouth, gasping, looking at the puddle of blood I lay in. I closed my eyes. Shit. Now I'm in trouble.

I tried to move, with little progress.

"Phil, call 911. Do something!" My mom panicked.

No! Don't call 911!

I shot up quickly this time, even though I was stiff and it hurt. "No mom, Don't call 911. I'm not bleeding anymore. It's okay! I swear! I won't do it again!" I yelled frantically. That was a damn lie. A big fucking lie. But she didn't need to know that.

She shook her head from side to side and abruptly left the hall. Phil, left in the opposite direction. I swept my hair up in a ponytail, so the blood wasnt' as noticeable. I continued to clean up, mopping the floor with my blood towel.

As I walked into my room, I saw my mother holding several baggies in her hand. Prescription bottles. . Razor blades. Vodka.....and condoms. Condoms that her husband used. Condoms that her husband used that were stashed in my night table. Condoms that her husband used that were stashed in my night table because he raped me. But she didn't know that. She just saw a slut, with drugs, alcohol, and sex problems. Her 17 year old daughter. She didn't see a victim. She didn't see a rape victim trying to escape through any means possible.

"How long Bella?" She whispered, eyes closed. I didn't answer.

"I said HOW LONG BELLA!" She yelled.

"Three years." I whispered.

She took in a breath. "How did I not notice this? Three years. Am I that much of a failure?"

This was it. All or nothing.

"Yes mom. You are that much a failure.", her eyes snapped up to mine, "but it's not because you never noticed my drinking, my drugs, my smoking, my cutting....that's not why. Something else has been happening for three years that you also have ignored. I think you know. You've known for awhile. You just don't want to admit it, admit wrong doing, admit wrong choices, admit that your life isn't perfect. You just don't want to be alone. So that's exactly how you left me, alone. Alone, and Broken. If you don't know what you missed, which I know you do, then you are just fucking ignorant. Actually either way you are. But at least if you truly didn't notice, you'd be innocent. But knowing about it makes you guilty. And I'll never forgive you."

Her eyes were ablaze with emotion. Then, I saw it. Confusion, hurt, realization, more hurt, guilt, and finally indifference. My head dropped at that. She'd decided. She'd known just as I'd suspected, but never said anything about it, and wouldn't because she loved him more than me. She didn't want to be alone.

"I don't know what you're talking about Bella. And frankly I don't care, nothing condones your behavior. Where does this leave us? You are no longer welcome in this house if you choose to be disrespectful, even to your self with these....substances." She spoke calmly now.

She didnt' care. She wanted me away. She wanted me to choose so it wouldn't be kicking me out on the streets. Save herself some some guilt, because she knows what I would choose......but I had a back up plan.

"Charlie." I said strongly.

"What?" She asked in surprise.

AHHAHHAHHA! GOTCHA! You forgot I have another parent.

"Dad," I spoke again,"I want to live with dad."

It was true. I had thought about it countless times, but I knew I couldn't. I didn't want to bring my broken self to him. He would notice. but I really had no choice now , did I?

"Okay Bella. I'll call him, I'm sure he'd love to see you again."

Yeah, what the hell ever bitch. Get me out of here.


Later I sat on my bed reading, suddenly my book was knocked from my hands. I looked up to see Phil In his boxers. He crawled over on top of me. "Your mother has gone out with Marge. I can't believe you came home fucked up. But she didn't believe you did she? I heard what you said. But she doesn't believe it darling." He whispered.

"She believes it. She knows. She has since that first Christmas. She just doesn't care." I shrugged.

He bent down and licked my ear. " Come on Bella, we have to have our last night before you go away."

"No." I pushed him off.

He slapped me, "What did you just say!"

"I SAID NO!" I yelled back into his face. He held me down, me fighting the whole way. He smacked my face, giving me a busted lip.

My clothes began being ripped off while I was held in a death grip.

"Come on Bella, You'll love it." He cooed.


I still didn't love it that night, and hopefully I'd never have to fear loving it again.

"I still don't love it."I croaked after it was over.

He just rolled out of bed, "bitch."

I smiled, at least I still had my virginity....my definition.


REVIEWS GOOD OR BAD MAKE ME WRITE FASTER. THANKS FOR READING.