Before the Boy Who Lived

A/N: I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry that I haven't updated in so long. I think the writing gods are against me. I have had writers block, been a day camp counselor for some little kids at a church thing, been locked out of my house (with my whole family) in the middle of the night, been in a car accident, my internet mysteriously stopped working, and my time here at home hasn't been too easy either. I won't bore you anymore with details of my cursed life so...first, I have to say, YAY! HBP COMES OUT IN TWO DAYS! With that in mind, I would like to say that my story is very likely to become wildly AU once we all finish reading HBP in a few days. I won't be changing it much to fit the book unless I change my mind, so I hope you understand and keep reading. I appreciate all the readers/reviewers I have. Second, you will notice eventually that I have a few things like more recent movies etc. brought up in my story. I am not stupid, I do know Lily and James were in Hogwarts in the 70's and I will try to stay basically on that time frame, but I may sneak in some stuff from later years. I'm just letting you know ahead of time so that you don't get confused. Third, the lyrics used are solely owned by Michelle Branch, you know the drill by now. I think that's about it, unless I forgot something...yep, that's it.

Disclaimer: I wanna show you something. Look my readers...go on, look. Look out to the horizon, past the trees, over the grasslands. Everything on your computer screen (i.e.: Harry Potter works, Michelle Branch's lyrics, etc.)...belongs to someone else. (I don't even own that quote. Cookies for anyone who tells me what movie it's from!)

Dedications: To all of my reviewers, YOU GUYS RULE! Also, I dedicate this story to...Simple Plan!They ROCK:)

And, with no further ado...

Chapter 3: Goodbye to You

"Of all the things I've believed in

I just want to get it over with

Tears form behind my eyes

But I do not cry

Counting the days that pass me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul

Words that I'm hearing

Are starting to get old

It feels like I'm starting all over again

The last three years were just pretend

And I said,

Goodbye to you

Goodbye to everything I thought I knew

You were the one I loved

The one thing that I tried to hold onto"

(Goodbye to You, Michelle Branch, The Spirit Room)

I sat there in shock, pleading for the flickering image of my mother's body to change, for this to all be a bad dream. My voice was hoarse with pain and shock. All I managed to murmur was, "No..."

Suddenly, the image flashed back to a now very somber looking Susie at the news station. She looked at her papers, then cleared her throat and looked at the camera with a vacant expression in her eyes.

"The authorities have already captured the assassin of Abigail Evans not far from the scene of the shooting. The suspect in question is one Charles Duncan, widely known as Big Charlie. Charlie, a notorious mob boss, has been evading the law since late 1960. He is wanted for numerous crimes such as murder (17 counts), kidnapping (6 counts), rape (13 counts), and importation/ distribution of illegal substances (over 100 counts). He has a very violent temper and is considered extremely dangerous by the FBI," Susie paused as she received some new information. She then continued, "Our station has just received some newly recorded footage of Big Charlie's interrogation...he has...he has confessed to the shooting and murder of Abigail Evans...let's go to the tapes."

Now the screen changed to a darker, fuzzier image of two middle-aged men in a dark, gray, gloomy room. My eyes were glued to the screen as I looked over the picture. One of the men was sitting at the end of a long, chipped, wooden table that was badly in need of a polishing. The other man, who I supposed was the interrogator, was leaning against the dull gray wall.

The interrogator, a tall African-American man with gray sprinkling his black hair and dark brown eyes, stood away from the wall and walked up next to the man who had just brutally murdered my mother, Big Charlie Duncan.

Charlie looked just like you would expect a criminal to look like. He was tall, with darting black eyes and scruffy dark brown hair that hadn't seemed to be cut in years. He was badly in need of a shave, and there were scars and pock marks covering his face.

"So Charlie...how've you been lately? We-"

"Cut the crap Heyman. We both know why we're here, so stop stalling and do your damn job!" Charlie barked forcefully.

Mr. Heyman angrily slammed his fist down on the table in front of Charlie, who was now wearing a satisfied smirk.

"Fine," the angry detective snarled, "have it your way Charlie. All I need is one word, one word from you, and I can get you in prison for life without parole, maybe even the death penalty. Now, did you just shoot that poor girl or not!"

"Yes," Charlie muttered with contempt.

"Don't lie to me Char-what?"

"Yes you dolt, I shot the bitch!" Charlie thundered, "And she deserved it! She and the rest of her damn family deserve to rot in Hell!"

Mr. Heyman wore an expression that mirrored mine, shocked and upset. "Why?" he asked softly.

"That snake was too brave for her own good. She stood up to me and my men, and denied us almost anything we wanted, and I always get what I want. The whore was buying all my crack, she owed me a hundred bucks, and she never paid for a cent of it," he paused and laughed, "That was probably why she robbed the bloody bank in the first place, so she'd have the money to dig herself out of her grave. But Abby was a bad girl," Charlie said like a father to a three year old, a manic glint in his eyes, "and bad girls...must be punished."

My shallow breathing was the only sound left in the room as I grabbed the remote next to me and clicked off the TV.

A hundred dollars..." I repeated softly, forgetting about the pain in my ribs, "You killed her over one hundred dollars...Bastard!" I screamed, tears in my eyes as I chucked the remote to the ground, "You killed her! You killed her you filthy bas-"

I was cut off by the phone on the end table next to me choosing that moment to start ringing achingly loudly. Annoyed, I picked up the phone.

"Hello?" I snapped impatiently.

"Lily Flower? Lily, is that you?" my father's voice asked.

"Daddy?" I wondered aloud in a now teary voice.

"Oh Flower, thank God. I just heard about your mother. Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah. Daddy, I...I can't believe that she's really gone. I'm never going to see her again," I whispered the last part.

"Flower, c'mon now, don't cry. It'll be okay babe," Dad consoled.

"B-but...Daddy...what about h-her...funeral?" I questioned.

Dad's voice softened as he explained, "Hon, that's actually why I called...I talked to Mr. Wilcox, your mum's lawyer, and he said that in her will, she wanted you to have any of her belongings...and handle her funeral. She specifically wrote that she didn't want Kerri or me to have anything to do with it, so Pop-Pop is coming to help, since you're still a minor."

I wiped my eyes. "Oh. When are you coming home?"

There was a strained silence on the other end of the line. "Daddy?"

"Er...Flower, Princess...that's the other thing. I, uh, I'm- I'm not coming home."

"WHAT?" I screeched.

"Lily, you have to understand, I'm under contract to finish this tour. I can't come home until the end of August."

I was silent for a moment. Then, in a tensely quiet voice, I confirmed, "So, what you're saying is that your god damned music is so important to you that you won't even come to your own wife's funeral! What kind of inhuman bastard are you?"

"Now you listen here, young lady, you will not speak to me that way! That little girl is no longer my wife. Abigail Fitzpatrick is no longer my concern!"

"I hate you," I whispered harshly.

Then, with a force I hadn't known I had, I slammed the phone back onto the cradle. A single tear ran down my face as I realized what I had just said. As much as he had hurt me, I was very close to my Dad...I loved him. Before the real fighting started, we would always have so much fun together, even Mum would join in. I wish he could see what he was doing, how his life was going in the wrong direction. I just wish he wasn't blind to what Kerri did to Laney and me...

Suddenly, there was a stabbing pain in my ribs, and I collapsed, sobbing, onto the ground.

"Lily? Oh, Lily...what happened?" cried Liza as she ran into the room, a whimpering Laney in her arms.

I couldn't bring myself to say anything through my tears, so I just pointed at the TV.

Confused, Liza placed Laney and I on the bed and clicked the TV back on. The footage of Big Charlie was just ending, and the screen once again showed Susie, but this time her eyes were watery as she wiped a tear from her cheek.

"So folks, you've heard it for yourself. Big Charlie Duncan has been captured and admits to being the murderer of Abigail Evans," she paused and Liza gasped, putting her hand over her mouth. Beside me, Laney began crying harder as she buried her head in my shoulder, "My deepest condolences to the Evans family. May God be with you."


I was in the kitchen early the next morning making breakfast with Laney by my side. Liza was busy helping everyone else with their morning routines.

The doorbell rang, and I sighed, brushing my bangs out of my eyes. I glanced at the pancakes on the stove and then at Laney.

"Lane, will you make sure that breakfast doesn't burn?" I asked softly.

She nodded, and I walked out toward the front door, my pony tail swinging behind me.

The doorbell rang again and I impatiently opened the door.

"Yes, what do you...Pop-Pop?"

I looked up at my Pop-Pop, standing there on the doorstep and looking older than ever. He pulled me into a well needed hug.

"How are you, Sport?" he asked quietly. I slowly pulled back and looked into his crystal blue eyes, the laughter usually behind them gone.

"I've been better," I replied just as softly.

Pop-Pop gave me a sad smile and moved his bags into the entrance hall, closing the door behind him. He coughed and asked, "So where's Laney?"

Just before I told him, a burning smell wafted through the air...the pancakes! We rushed into the kitchen just in time to see Laney struggling to get the frying pan off the stove and throw away the pancakes. I rushed over to help and she started babbling, "Lily, I- I'm sorry! I didn't m-mean to!"

I pulled her close, stroked her hair and whispered, "It's okay, don't worry Soldier, it's okay."

Pop-Pop looked at us and bent down next to Laney. "It's okay Lane, I'll make some new breakfast. You two just sit down, alright?"

I started to protest, "But Pop-Pop, you don't understand, I have to-"

"Nonsense," Pop-Pop declared, "I'll do it. You two shouldn't have been using the stove in the first place, you're too young. Kerri must start taking better care of you." I sat Laney down at the table, and as if on cue, Kerri came thundering down the stairs.

"Lillian Marie Evans, I swear to God that if you ruined breakfast for us again, I'm going to kick your a—Hello Mr. Evans," Kerri saved herself when she came into the kitchen and saw Pop-Pop, "I hadn't known that you had arrived," she added, throwing a glare my way.

Pop-Pop turned to face Kerri and gave her a tight smile (he didn't like her much either.). "Good Morning Kerri. I just got here, Lily let me in," he turned to me and smiled, "isn't that right Sport?"

Kerri turned to me so I mumbled, "Yes."

"Well now, wasn't that sweet of her?" Kerri asked sarcastically.

Pop-Pop obviously didn't catch the sarcasm when he answered, "Yeah, she's a good kid."

After a moment of awkward silence, Pop-Pop clapped his hands together and announced, "Well Kerri, I was about to make breakfast. Why don't you sit down?"

"That would be lovely," Kerri said through clenched teeth as she sat down at the table, "Lily, sweetheart, go get Petunia and Jake please."

I raised an eyebrow at her tone but nodded and began to run up the stairs when I saw the murderous look on her face.

WHAM!

When I sped around the corner, I had crashed right into Petunia, knocking us both to the floor.

"You little klutz!" she hissed, raising her hand to slap me. I closed my eyes and turned my face away from her, but the slap never came. I cautiously opened one eye.

Petunia was sitting in front of me, hand raised, but holding her wrist back was...Jake?

Both Petunia and I stared up at him with disbelief.

"Since when did you defend the freak, Jake?" Petunia spat.

"Since I heard Grandfather downstairs, Petunia," he spat back, "If he found out what we did to this filth, he'd be sure to get us in trouble with Dad."

He dropped Petunia's wrist and she crossed her arms over her chest, pouting like a three year old. Jake spotted this and smirked.

"Oh stop your pouting. We can make up for it when Grandfather leaves."

Petunia smiled and stood up, brushing imaginary dirt off her skirt. "Of course," she agreed.

Without a second glance to me, the pair walked calmly downstairs and into the kitchen. I waited a moment, to catch my breath, and then followed after them.

Everyone (except Pop-Pop) was already seated by the time I walked in. The tension in the room was so thick; you could cut it with a knife.

As I walked over to sit at the table next to Laney, I felt three glares on my back. This was going to be a long few weeks.


May 2nd, the morning of Mum's funeral, came faster than I had hoped it would. Before I knew it, Kerri, Jake, Petunia, Pop-Pop, Laney, Liza, and I were packed into a limo that was driving us to the cemetery.

I looked out the window and realized that I could not have picked a more depressing day for the funeral. It was pouring rain, without a ray of light shining through the clouds, and a harsh wind blowing. When we all got out to stand around Mum's casket, it began to feel like the weather was reflecting how I felt.

It seemed that in the blink of an eye, everyone was running back to their cars or to the limo because the rain began to fall harder. I took my time, laying a single white rose, Mum's favorite flower, on her casket. One little tear rolled down my cheek and landed on the rose.

"G-good bye, Mummy," I whispered, "I'll...I'll miss you."

The limo driver honked the horn behind me, and after blowing Mum one last kiss, I ran back and dove into the limo.

A few hours later, we were still at the reception, which was also being covered by the press...oh joy. I had brought my guitar along with me, so I could sing a song I wrote for Mum, as a kind of...good bye present for her; she had always loved my voice, even if I didn't think it was any good. Now though...I wasn't so sure. I mean, what if Susie and her TV crew put me on the news? I'd just have another reason for everyone to make fun of me...

What about what Mum would want?

Are you crazy! Everyone will just make fun of me!

But, this is the last time she'll ever be able to really hear you, right? And besides, you don't want everyone to leave here thinking that Mum was a cold-blooded criminal who deserved to get shot...do you?

No...No, you're right.

With that in mind, I picked up my guitar and walked onto the small stage in front of the crowd. I took a deep breath, and prepared myself for what I was about to do.

"Um...excuse me? Excuse me can I have your attention...please?" I asked shyly into the microphone.

Susie stopped interviewing Kerri and looked at me with a smile. Kerri was glaring daggers at me, as were Jake and Petunia, but everyone else nicely did what I asked.

"My—uh...my name is Lily Evans and I...um...I w-would like to perform a song for you that I wrote for...for my mother," I paused and took another deep breath, "Mum, this is for you."

I lost myself in the tune as my fingers gently strummed the guitar strings, playing the intro to my song. Then I began to sing...

"Of all the things I've believed in

I just want to get it over with

Tears form behind my eyes

But I do not cry

Counting the days that pass me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul

Words that I'm hearing

Are starting to get old

It feels like I'm starting all over again

The last three years were just pretend

And I said,

Good bye to you

Good bye to everything I thought I knew

You were the one I loved

The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes

And it seems that I can't live a day

Without you

Closing my eyes

And you case my thoughts away

To a place where I am blinded by the light

But it's not right

Good bye to you

Good bye to everything I thought I knew

You were the one I loved

The one thing that I tried to hold on to

And it hurts to want everything and

Nothing at the same time

I want what's yours

And I want what's mine

I want you

But I'm not giving in this time

Good bye to you

Goodbye to everything I thought I knew

You were the one I loved

The one thing that I tried to hold on to

The one thing that I tried to hold on to

And when the stars fall

I will lie awake

You're my shooting star..."

(A/N: As much as I wish I wrote this, I didn't. This belongs to Michelle Branch; the song is "Good bye to You", from the album, "The Spirit Room")

Bye the end of the song, everyone (except Kerri, Petunia and Jake of course) was in tears, myself included. And, everyone stood up and cheered while Kerri, Jake and Petunia just sat there and sulked.

"Thank you," I said as I took a bow, then I added, "We'll never forget you Mum."


A/N: Yay! It's done! (Finally.) You have now idea how long it took me to write/type that chapter, with all the stuff I have going on. So...what do you think? Was it terrible? Sorry if it was, I had major writer's block when I wrote the second half of the chapter and I was in a rush to get you guys another chapter before HBP came out. And also, I know it' really angsty, but it has to be for the story's sake. Don't worry, it should tone down a lot once we get to the end of Lily's first year and the beginning of her second year. But, I'll never know what you think unless you review, so I beg you REVIEW! I really have to get moving, because it's already past midnight and I still have to answer all your wonderful reviews. Sigh. Before I go, if anybody knows what movie I got the quote I used for the disclaimer from, let me know in your review. I want to see how many of you can get it. It's actually from a pretty well-known movie so...yeah. Alrighty then, I gotta get to the reviews now.

Reviews:

Nerdysunny: Thanks for another review! I can't promise no more cliffies though, because as much as I hate having them used on me, I love to use them myself. Yeah, I know I'm a hypocrite. Sorry, but I'm just evil like that:) As for betas, I'm not using one, and I have absolutely no idea where you're supposed to get them. Sorry!

IloveHarryPotter17: Thanks! And yeah, I stayed at one of the Disney resorts. I stayed at the All Star Music Resort in the Broadway Building. It was awesome! It had a fake street separating the wings of the building, and they made the outside look like a Broadway theatre showing Beauty and the Beast. I loved the two pools, one was shaped like a huge piano, and the other one was a guitar. It was great. And I'll definitely keep writing:)

Fairy-GYAKUTENNO-MEGAMI: Wow that's a mouthful...thanks for the review! Now you know what's happening to Lily...for now...MWAHAHAHA (Sorry, I'm running on like three cans of Coke right now and the caffeine's starting to get to me.)

Prongsie-Jamesie: Yes, I know it's sad...I hadn't planned on it being this sad, but I keep getting great ideas, and I want to add them all. (Hey, by now I could be earning an Emmy for Best Soap Opera!) The angst should tone down mostly by Lily's second year, so don't worry. Thanks for the review...do I really write as well as people are telling me I do? I didn't think I did...

Kayane Joel: Thank you very much!

Evening Jade: Thanks, I was hoping that this would end up really different. That's just the type of person I am, I can't be like anyone else. :) I'll keep writing if you keep reading!

Professor R.J. Lupin w Prongs: Wow, that's another long one. Thanks for reading my story! (And reviewing, of course!) And yes, as I've mentioned, it is very angsty, and it will be, at least until around Lily's second year...I hope you still like it though!

LadyElla64: Thanks! You gave me the longest review that I have ever seen! Where to begin...Ah, yes, that's it. First, thanks for seeing the whole Petunia bullying Lily and James bullying Snape thing. I actually hadn't thought of it that way until you mentioned it. (Not too bright, am I?) Anywho, I'm really sorry that Lily's Mum wasn't framed like you thought, and that she was shot (you probably hate me now), but I need it for the story. And Lily still has some role models. She has Liza, and her Pop-Pop, and eventually, Dumbledore, Hagrid, and the Professors. So yeah. There is a lot of angst in this, but I need it in there for my ideas. (Just between you and me, I have a lot of surprises ready for you guys!) I will keep that in mind about describing characters, but forgive me if I start using metaphors or whatever they are again. I just get too carried away sometimes...ARG! Curse my Spell Checker! Sorry about the missing commas, bad grammar usually annoys the heck out of me, so I know what you mean. I'll try to catch that next time. I'll remember the thoughts thing; I can't believe I forgot about that in the first place! We filled out the same survey? Weird. I can't believe that we answered something exactly the same! That's funny! And I don't think you're weird with the hot chocolate in the summer, because my Grandparents are like that, except with oatmeal. They eat oatmeal 365 days of the year, literally. Shudder. I can't eat oatmeal for more than a week straight. Before I go, what Family Guy were you watching? Was it the one with Petoria, because I was just watching that too. :) I loved the part when Stewie ran into the kitchen when the lights were out and he kept eyeing the knife and Lois' back, back and forth...and the part where he was telling Rupert 'gullible wasn't in the dictionary. Stewie rules! (I don't know if you watch them too, butThe Simpsons rule too!)Bye for now!

Hallelujah! I've finally finished! (Now that it's 1:15) Wait a second, you hear that?

"In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight. In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight..."

And I'm about to join them. SLEEP! REVIEW! Thanks:) I'll be back soon my darlings...

Shannon