Alright everybody! Thanks to everyone who gave me reviews and some feedback, I really appreciate it! So, if you have read my previous chapters, you might have noticed that I tend to write about the underlying feelings in certain scenes that I have watched. Well, nothings' changed. This time, I will be set after Kubra's trial, after Alex gets out. Sound good? Well too bad! That's what I'm going with!
I will try to make this one a longer chapter, since my first two seemed to be really short, at least when the posted they did.
As soon as Alex walked into the apartment, she knew she was fucked. It was a tiny little place, almost a shack, consisting of one kitchen, bathroom, bedroom and a living room, all tiny in size. The walls had water damage, and the fridge was loud and obnoxious, more so than Pensatucky had been, and that was saying something. She had been told about the police patrol that would be driving around, and her mandatory meetings with her parole officer, but it wasn't as if any of that was going to make a difference. If Kubra wanted her dead, she would be, sooner or later. It was inevitable.
Alex sighed and wrapped her arms around herself. Inevitable. That was the word that Piper had used. Inevitable. She kept seeing her face in her head, every time she closed her eyes, there was Piper, smiling at her. But then, after a while, her face turned angry, and the sound of her shouting voice returned.
"You're getting out?! Wait, what?! What the fuck did you do Alex? What the fuck did you do? Fuck you Alex, fuck you!" Alex shook her head each time those words came to mind. They echoed through her brain like an elephant trumpeting through a cave. This time was different. She didn't have to be strong anymore, no one was around.
Finally, Alex broke down. She slid down against her front door, arms still wrapped around herself, sobbing violently.
"I'm sorry Piper. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, forgive me…I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Alex cried out. There was no one around to hear her, just her in her terrible apartment, and her water-damaged walls. "I love you Piper." She whispered.
It took Alex over three hours to finally pull herself together again. And when she did, she was still so angry with herself. Everything just felt so wrong. Piper should've been let out, not her. Alex was the one who always lied. Why had she chosen to tell the truth? Why right at that moment? If she had lied, she could be back there, with Piper. That's where she wanted to be anyways.
Alex let out a long breath, her eyes, red, puffy and swollen looked around the rundown apartment, and showed her a sliver of light coming from a window in the living room. She shuffled over to it and looked outside. A dark car was parked right outside of her building, and Alex could tell there was someone inside. Someone was watching her.
Alex threw the curtains shut and backed away from the window. It was Kubra, she knew it. Who else would it be? She left the lights on and retreated into her bedroom, throwing herself on the bed and pulling the covers around her face, so that it was the only thing showing.
She left the lights on from then on.
A few days later, Alex had finally worked up enough courage to go outside. She went to a nearby Walmart and picked up a few things she thought she might need. Paper, pencils, pens, books, food, envelopes, things of that variety. As she walked home, she passed by a gun shop. She has resisted the urge to go in as she had been on her way to Walmart, but on her way back, it seemed as though her feet had a mind of their own, carrying her into the store and quickly purchasing a gun she thought would be suitable in case she had any 'unwanted visitors'.
When Alex got home, the first thing she did was check to see if the car had moved. It hadn't, of course. Alex bit her lower lip angrily.
"Fucking Kubra." She hissed under her breath. She replaced the curtains and pulled out a piece of paper and a pencil, writing furiously.
Piper,
What the hell can I say? I am so sorry, so fucking sorry that words can't explain how terrible I feel. God, I hope you read this. I know you probably won't, but on the off chance that you do, I want you to know that I was truly trying to protect you. My lawyers…well, it's too late now anyways. The trial's done and over with, and Kubra is still out, still free to roam the streets and try to kill me.
I don't know what the fuck I was thinking! I should've just lied, followed your lead. I mean, they do call you 'college' for a reason, don't they? Or is that just something they say to try to bother you. Yeah, I know. What a time to crack a joke, right? Yeah, well, what do you expect? I'm a fucking idiot. I shouldn't have turned on you like that. I mean, if I had lied, I wouldn't be here, scared out of my wits all the time. I'd be in there with you, together.
God, I miss you. Piper, I am so sorry, and I understand if you never want to see me, or talk to me, or even if you never even want to think about me ever again. But I need to talk to you, I need to explain things. Please, please Piper. I need to hear your voice. I need to know that you're okay. That even if you are so mad at me, I need to know that you are willing to hear me out. Because honestly, the memory of you is the only thing keeping me sane right now.
I wish you were here with me, or I was there with you, because you being mad at me, and not being able to talk to you, or see you, it's torture.
I am so sorry Pipes. Really, truly I am.
I love you.
Alex
Alex was nearing tears by the end of the letter. She wiped at her eyes, and sealed the letter in an envelope, kissing it and quickly heading outside to throw the letter into a mailbox that was half a block from her apartment.
As she put the envelope in she looked up at the sky.
"If there really is a god up there, please…." The rest of her words were lost as she closed the drop box and bit the inside of her lip.
AN: Thanks for reading you guys!
What do you think? Was it long enough? Did I do Alex Vause justice?
I personally think that she has an emotional side that we just never really get to see on the actual show, so I figured I might like to try to see if I could portray it.
Anyways, please read and review. I am open to all comments and criticisms, and will read everything you guys write to me!
