AN: A long drive gives you time to write some stuff! Yay for long trips…
Disclaimer: Do not own Star Trek, wish I owned an Engineering and Medical pin though…XD
Has a stick up his/her butt: To be outstandingly haughty and rude when no such emotion is required.
The woman was lecturing them again. Spock knew that she had voiced every important piece of information precisely three hours, two minutes, and fifty-five point three seconds ago. He knew the Captain had grown tired of her veiled insults to the senior officers' intelligence after the first five minutes exactly. Jim Kirk did not mind being called stupid, insults did not stick to the human at all, but he minded it when you called his crew dumb.
This presumption itself was ignorant. Mr. Scott had invented transwarp, Mr. Chekov was the youngest Star Fleet officer to attend the academy, Mr. Sulu held degrees in various sciences including Botany, Lieutenant Uhura was unmatched in Xenolinguistics, and Dr. McCoy was one of the most intelligent doctors in the Fleet, his emotional outburst notwithstanding. Captain Kirk himself was the youngest captain in Star Fleet history, and the captain of the flagship no less.
"And as you can see, our facilities, though a little above some of Star Fleet's metaphorical heads, provide value to even the most updated ships. Of course, it all depends on whether the ships are smart enough to accept our help, quite often they don't come to us because of the expenses. Star Fleet officers often believe," and here she glanced at Mr. Scott, who was surreptitiously reaching into the satchel at his side for a piece of gum to make up for his boredom and lack of lunch (emergency repairs on the warp engines), and frowned, " that it's easy to fix problems, that they should be allowed to ignore others, and only enjoy the perks of this life." She offered a smile that even Chekov, the least worldly when it came to women, could tell was fake. Spock found himself glancing at his chronometer. It was logical to listen to a presentation, but illogical to stay any longer than necessary.
Luckily, the manager of Star Base 82 chose that moment to make her leave, a move which caused various exhalations of relief from the crew around him. "I thought she'd never leave." Kirk groaned, leaning against a wall. Standing next to him Lieutenant Uhura and Mr. Scott nodded.
"Didye see how the lass glared at my gum? I was workin on the warp engines all mornin, not eatin haggis!" Sulu clapped him on the back and added his own opinion.
"Yeah Scotty, that lady sure had a stick up her butt about something. It's not like we're complete idiots! Did you see how she pointed out the plants in the botany room, like I had no clue what a daffodil was?" Sulu shook his head in annoyance.
"Mr. Sulu. I believe you are misinformed. Furthermore, what you are suggesting is physically impossible and surgically implausible. Ms. Carter had no wood in her…" the rest of what he was saying was drowned out by Bones' laughter. Spock cocked an eyebrow and surveyed the laughing doctor coolly. "Is there something humorous about my comment doctor?"
Nyota sent Spock a sympathetic look, while Kirk hid a grin, and Bones responded. "Spock, that's not what he meant. He meant that the woman was bein' rude to us for no other reason than stupid prejudice. What was funny was you thinking," and here Bones dissolved into laughter again, "that Sulu meant she actually had a stick up her butt!"
Spock would have sighed in exasperation had he been human. Sometimes his crewmates didn't make any sense. How bodily injury was humorous to them, and to the doctor in particular, was a mystery to the peaceful half-Vulcan.
"Well, I think ve might as well go have some fun. Ve have to eat dinner vith the wery annoyed Ms. Carter." Chekov sounded both enthused and resigned. Exploring the base sounded promising, whereas dinner with the manager of the base did not.
"Where I come from, we call that a blowtoad." Bones muttered, staring in the direction the woman had stalked off in.
Spock didn't even ask.
AN: Yeah for blowtoads! Hope this was okay…
