This is the next for White Rose Shipping War
[Friend] Location: Vale, Main Street N504, Goldrake's Bakery.
Seriously.
Time: 5:25:44 PM, free period after school lessons.
*with Jaune and Ruby*
"You know, Ruby, every time I'm surprised by the sheer amount of cookies you eat and by the fact you never put on weight," noted Jaune. "I mean, back in there you ate around 150 cookies plus a large strawberry cake, yet I know that you won't get an ounce of fat."
"Eh, Aura helps," winked the girl. "You didn't spare yourself, either. You ate... Jaune, is that Weiss?"
"Huh?" Jaune looked away from his girlfriend to see a suspiciously white-haired woman making her way over to them. He sighed. "Yes. Yes, I think it's Weiss."
"Wrong," smiled Salem, finally reaching them with a bag of sweets in her hands. "I was just passing by... you know, usual Grimm business... and I said 'why don't I visit my OTP? It'd be wonderful!' and so here I am. Here, take dear, these are for you two."
"Thanks grandma Salem!" cheered Ruby, hugging the incarnation of Grimm with a giant smile. She smiled back before something took control. Something horrible.
"You know... Ruby... I have something... something to tell you." Something that was... "I ship WhiteRose."
...a WhiteRose shipper.
Ruby stepped back in horror and Jaune dropped the sweets, both looking ready to run.
Salem tried to control herself, but she found herself stepping forth. "R-Run... you two run!... I... ship... L... Lan... L... Lw... White...Rose..."
"No! Grandma, fight it!" exclaimed Ruby, tears pooling in her silver eyes. "Thy ain't WhiteRose! Thou must fight!"
"Ruby, we need to get help!" exclaimed Jaune, grabbing her hand. "I think I know exactly who could help us... we just need to find him!"
*with Ozpin and Weiss*
The two conspirators were huddled together behind a wall, attracting the attention of all passer-by's. In their hands there was a small voodoo doll of Salem. The two of them cackled.
"Thankfully my super uper duper triple hyper extra mega ultra broken Semblance has a Glyph for voodoo magic," grinned Weiss. "We'll show them what true love is."
"Indeed, my clever student, indeed," nodded Ozpin, holding up a doll of Ruby. "We shall stop Lancaster, now and forever! Go, my messiah, and kiss the girl! I will make sure she's willing!"
"I will, my supreme lord. For extra credit, personal interest, and for everything that is WhiteRose," stated Weiss before handing Salem's doll over to Ozpin and running after Jaune and Ruby, the second of which seemed to be steadily slowing down. Ozpin grinned as he stopped her altogether and made her turn.
"Arc! Stay away from her, she's mine!" exclaimed Weiss, halting in front of Ruby and almost falling over. A smart person doesn't run in heels. "I will prove it! Ruby, kiss me!"
"N...no...J-Jaune...help...please..." Ruby wailed even as she was forced to lean in. "J-Jaaaaune!"
[Friend] *in Jaune's mindscape*
Devastation. Burned remains of everything that had once existed. Tonight Remnant burned, and lit the air with spectral fires and wails of the dying.
All of that was aimed to a single Frigid B***
*Back to Vale*
Jaune's eye twitched and his Semblance activated. A huge Archangel made of light formed behind him and swung his giant sword at the cry of "Whatta f** is WhiteRose?!"
*In Jacques Schnee's office, a few seconds later*
Weiss crashed through the wall and into the table just as the man was screwing his Faunus secretary. He swore loudly. "Now of all fucken times?!"
*Back in Vale*
"I... must... kiss... Weiss..." wailed Ruby even as she tried to oppose to the force.
"Let's get you somewhere safe," sighed Jaune as he picked her up bridal style. "We must find him. The man of mystery, the only one who can help us... John."
[Me] Jaune started running with Ruby. Then he remembered something..
"Uh, Ruby.. Could you use your semblance to dash us to Beacon?" As soon as he finished that sentence, he experienced the dizziness and motion sickness as usual, put up a hand, ruby dashed a meter away, and then vomited.
"YO WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!" A nearby voice yelled. Jaune, after throwing up part of his lunch, looked over to see John staring at the Beacon Statue. "THAT SHITTY STATUE SUCKS, TIME TO CHANGE IT!" and then he snapped his fingers, the entire statue molding to create Ruby and Jaune kissing. John put his hand on his chin in a thinking pose, "YES, THAT IS PERFECT!"
and then he turned to Ruby and Jaune. "Hey, Ruby, I have a question! I was going to ask it before but you kind of ran off and I had work to do last time, how good is Jaune with his lower sword?" Ruby, suddenly remembering why she thought John was a weird person, blushed and stood still in spot while comforting the still somehow dazed Jaune.
[Me] John walks over to the dazed Jaune. "NOW WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT AT VALE?! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD CREATE.. archangels? What even was that? A giant fucking white bright light? also, why the fuck did it scream 'dafuq is whiterose' ? WhiteRose is terrible. And uh, why is Ruby looking possessed? Why the fuck is voodoo surrounding the atmosphere?! YOU KNOW WHAT, FUCK IT!
OZPiN 2.0! COME HERE AND HELP THESE TWO WHILE I SIT BACK AND WATCH WHILE DRINKING PEPSI!"
Ozpin 2.0 appears, smacks John, "fuck you too" and walks over.
Ruby, still being possessed, moans out, "WEEIIIISSSSSS" in which Ozpin 2.0 looks at. "It is definitely Weiss and first Ozpin. They're the only monsters who'd ship White Rose. MEN!" An army of Atlas Soldiers appear behind Ozpin 2.0, "TO ARMS! WE SHALL TAKE BACK THE RUBY! FOR LANCASTER! OOORAHHH!"
And with that, John, Jaune, and a tied up Ruby still being possessed, watched the army go to town and capturing White Rose shipping civilians and.. Then part of Vale blew up. "INCOMING!" An atlas soldier cried out before being taken by the White Rose army. "QUALITY OVER QUANTITY!" A Lancaster shipper yelled, throwing holy grenades at White Rose shippers, causing them to die instantly. "FUCK YOUUUU!" a Russian soviet yelled in the middle of battle, throwing bears at the white rose shippers..
Five days later.
The ruins of Vale were all that were seen with many White Rose shippers walking around. "Where is the Ruby? Queen Weiss and Sir Ozpin 1.0 demand we find them." An officer yelled.
Meanwhile, at John's secret soda stash.
"So, the fuck happened again? Oh right, you guys went into a war with White Rose and because they had a quantity of 20/1 compared to us, we lost? And the fact they had more supplies due to Atlas funding Weiss.. Well shit. I guess you can live here, I'll work on trying to fix Ruby. How I'll do it is snap my fingers and make her soul immune to corruption. Watch." snap.
"Oh shit.. Ozpin used some of his magic. I can't do shit to stop her from being corrupted. We'll just have to shield her and attempt to lower it. Anyways, I got some soda and food, a lot. Now, sit down and we'll start planning." John was in no mood for games, a dumbass made him work and now White Rose is taking over. His rants might have to go public soon and cause world-wide chaos. "Hold on, I got to do something." He snaps his fingers and Cinder appears with Tyrian. "Tyrian, Cinder. You're going to be our spies and power houses. We're going to take back Lancaster."
(Canon end for chapter)
(Alternate End, by Friend. Friend also said to use my ending as canon, so yeah. I'm fine!)
He turned to the two poor teens. "You still haven't answered my question, Ruby, is Jaune really good with his lower sword?"
Ruby blushed and Jaune finally shrieked. "WE DON'T HAVE TIME! SHE'S UNDER A SPELL THAT IS MAKING HER BEHAVE LIKE A WHITEROSE SHIPPER! GRANDMA SALEM TOO!"
John sighed. "Yes, I know, and we just destroyed Vale because of that. Had I had my magic at the moment I could repair it but it'll take some time. We don't have that time. But... there might be something I can do."
John froze, and his can of pepsi was crushed by his hand. He quickly popped a new one open. "Mmh... this is serious matters." He took a sip. Then another. "HA! I got this, just you wait!"
He then crushed 10 cans of pepsi and shaped them like Weiss Schnee, who had just returned to Vale to find Ruby, using some dog c** to paint it white. He wore gloves, of course. "Here it is! Jaune, go out and find Weiss and Ozpin! They will have Ruby's doll! Find it and I can remove the magic! Go now, my Paladin! Save Lancaster!" He grinned at the doll. "I knew I would've needed voodoo someday! First of all... kick!"
*with Weiss and Ozpin*
"Don't worry, Ms Schnee, you'll get a second chance," said Ozpin, turning to her. "Now we just have to-EEEEEEEEEKK!"
"I'm sorry, I can't control myself!" shrieked Weiss even as she continued to kick Ozpin in the nuts. "I...ship...I ship...W-W...W-W-W-W-...W-W-W-W-LANCASTER!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" wailed Ozpin as his balls got annihilated once again.
Jaune chose that moment to activate his Semblance again. The giant Archangel stomped WhiteRose soldiers as it roared "Lancaster Reigns Supreme!" The Knight and the Angel slaughtered their way over to Weiss, following the sounds of Ozpin screaming, and snatched the precious dolls. They turn and... well, screw it, there's an army of angry WhiteRose shippers.
"But of course!" exclaimed Jaune, taking out Salem's doll. "Grandma! Help!"
Immediately Salem returned to normal and a horde of Grimm ran into the battle. Hell broke loose and Jaune was able to slip back to John's secret pepsi stash.
*At the pepsi stash*
"Here it is!" exclaimed Jaune, handing the doll of Ruby back to John.
John took it and took an empowering sip of pepsi before belching and disintegrating all the magic voodoo...except his own doll of Weiss, obviously.
Ruby was finally free again, and of course the two of them celebrated with... sweets!
*timeskip 10 seconds later*
Jaune and Ruby looked over at the destroyed Vale. Grimm were picking on the remaining civilians, but they were entranced by the rising sun. Time and again a Nevermore would obscure it temporarily but that just made it better. The two sighed dreamily and kissed before the rising sun.
*twenty meters behind them*
John popped open another can of pepsi and took a sip. "Lancaster Reigns Supreme."
