A/N: Thanks again, Ceridwyn, for the edits!


CHAPTER THREE

Maura's right hand lay still, palm down, in Jane's left hand. The strong grip they'd had on one another had lessened into a gentle hold. Occasionally Jane would flex her thumb, stroking the back of Maura's hand, letting her know she was still there.

When Maura had sufficiently calmed her heart rate and the tears had ceased, she drew in a long inhale and spoke for the first time. It was quiet, almost breathless, as she exhaled the words without thinking, "I like holding your hand."

Jane let her head fall forward, unable to stop the grin that spread across her face. She was tired and her buttocks were numb but she was pleased with herself. She was grateful that Maura wasn't angry, or at least she didn't sound angry any more, it was difficult to tell without seeing the Doctor's face. Jane felt confident enough in Maura's ability to forgive her that she hoped they had turned a corner tonight. She rubbed a weary hand once more across her face, praying to any saint that would listen to give her endless patience and stop her from saying anything stupid. She couldn't afford a setback tonight; even a small one might render permanent the pins and needles she was now feeling down both legs. Maura's special acupuncture treatment would doubtless be offered if she mentioned it, with that irrefutable smile of hers, but friend or no friend Jane wasn't letting anyone with needles anywhere near her butt.

Jane adjusted the angle of her hand and interlaced her fingers with Maura's in such a way that she was able to play with the ring of Maura's middle finger. Spinning it around slowly, Jane focused her eyes on the only part of her friend she could see and decided to speak. Long legs crossed now in front of her, Jane fleetingly felt like she was in confession, though without the feelings of guilt or that she'd been forced to do it; she was doing it willingly because she cared.

She cared.

"I don't like holding hands usually."

Maura twisted her body towards the door opening so she could see Jane's lithe, tanned fingers gently twisting the silver band she wore. Her brow furrowed as she wondered where Jane's sometimes random train of thought might lead them.

Maura smiled sweetly, eyes still shining a little with old tears as Jane continued, "Just you. I'm not sure why."

"I don't know why either…" Maura replied in a whisper, unsure really of what to say to Jane's confession, "but I'm grateful for it. I'm always grateful for it."

Maura shifted to where she was now sat leaning on one hip, her legs bent beside her away from the door, one shoulder sliding against the wall towards the opening. Her left hand, which had been clutching the wad of toilet paper that had dried her cheeks and saved her mascara from disaster, now moved to join her right, clasping the Detective's hand in between both of hers. Jane took a sharp intake of breath and exhaled in a long sigh.

"You've held my hand before, many times," Maura smiled. "You've held me up… and you're still doing it now. You have nothing to apologise for. I couldn't ask for anything more in a friend…"

"But, Maura…"Jane cut in, embarrassed by Maura's words and still feeling ashamed of her cutting remarks over dinner.

"But nothing, Jane. I know you want to sweep it under the carpet, make a joke about it; you're probably rolling your eyes at me as I speak."

Jane chuckled, "You know me so well."

"I do…" Maura sighed as she took back a hand, retrieved the toilet paper she had stuffed into her pocket and took one last swipe under her eyes to rid herself of the last bit of wetness. Maura swallowed, meltdown well and truly over, her voice growing stronger, "I know sometimes you speak before you engage your brain, I know you wouldn't ever hurt me deliberately, and I know you feel the same pain I do that my family is so…" She breathed, eyes searched the ceiling briefly as brain searched for the most appropriate adjective, "…dysfunctional. You're a very good friend, Jane, so please don't think any less of yourself for tonight. I'm sorry I raised my voice to you. It really wasn't your fault."

Jane was breathing heavily. There seemed no point in trying to object to Maura's apology, she'd only get cut off again. If there was one thing both women had in common it was their ability to be annoyingly stubborn. Instead she squeezed Maura's hand tightly and decided it was time they faced each other.

Tugging gently on Maura's arm, one hand clasping the blonde's, the other encircling her forearm, Jane peered around the doorframe. With a shy smile and pleading eyes she braved repeating the words she'd bellowed in frustration earlier in the evening. "Come out here? Please?"

Maura took barely a second to make a decision; Jane could read it on her face. Maura had clearly felt a bit silly for being sat on her bathroom floor and chastised herself for what she'd later classify a 'teenage tantrum'. With a shuffle of legs Maura found herself in Jane's spot, on the floor of her bedroom, back against the wall, with Jane tightly pressed up against her side.

They were still holding hands as Jane spoke, "I know you said it wasn't my fault but I still feel terrible, so you have to believe me and let me say I'm sorry… for everything." Now it was Jane's turn to clasp Maura's hand in both of hers, and she shook it gently, emphasising each important point, "I'm sorry your family didn't get to spend your birthday with you, I'm sorry they missed out on such a wonderful evening with a wonderfully sweet person." Jane dipped her head, seeking eye contact but Maura was fascinated by the floor. "I'm not sorry I got to be here instead, to share you with my family, to have them celebrate with you and see your smile light up when you opened your gifts… as ridiculous as some of them might have been!"

Maura giggled and threw her head back a little, gracing Jane with the eye contact she had been yearning.

"Thank god your mother isn't like mine or I don't think we'd be as close as we are, maybe we wouldn't ever have met…" Jane frowned deeply even as the words left her lips, images of her life with a faceless stranger for a best friend, or no best friend at all came unbidden and with them a crushing feeling she wasn't prepared for - "I'd be so sad, Maura."

The way Jane's voice broke as she spoke made Maura's dry eyes instantly moisten. She threw her arms around the Detective's shoulders and hung on for dear life. Jane snaked her long arms around the Doctor's waist and rested her chin on a firm shoulder. Jane lifted her eyes briefly towards the ceiling before closing them tight, silently throwing out thanks to whichever god or saint or mystical superhero had answered her earlier prayers.

"I'd be sad without you too, Jane." Maura breathed into Jane's hair. "Your family never fails to support me and make me feel safe and loved. I don't think I could bear if you all weren't around anymore."

"Hey, hey…" Jane rubbed both hands up and down Maura's back, "I don't know where that came from but we're not going anywhere, so don't you even have to worry about it!" She turned and kissed the side of Maura's head as a gesture of protection and security. She didn't mean to linger slightly, to savour the smell of Maura's hair, or rub her nose across a delicate ear.

"Thank you." Maura mumbled, her face safely buried in Jane's neck, "and thank you for staying, you didn't have to." Maura lifted her head to say something else but Jane's proximity stopped her. This was the longest Jane had ever sat still talking about feelings without rolling her eyes, blowing a raspberry with her tongue, or making a sarcastic remark. Maura decided she should draw a firm line under tonight's incident and let Jane get some air before the brunette spontaneously combusted. No doubt once Jane's teasing started she'd be mortified about her behaviour and how she'd used the Detective as her emotional counsellor for the evening. It was time to pull herself together and muster a stiff upper lip. Jane's hands had stilled on her lower back as Maura's own hands slid down from Jane's shoulders to her biceps.

"I told you I would," Jane studied Maura's face as the blonde's expression clouded over but Jane caught what she was looking for - "Hey… don't do that."

"Do what?"

"That thing where you think I'm uncomfortable and about to turn into an asshole, so you stop… this," she waved a hand between them in the small space that separated their torsos. She had unintentionally tapped Maura in the chest with the back of her knuckles and it made the blonde blink twice. "…you just… I'm not gonna be an ass about this, I swear. I'm here because I wanna be. I held your hand because I wanted to. I meant what I said. You don't have to duck and cover 'cos you think there's a stupid punch line coming. I feel awful that I've… conditioned you to expect that from me."

Maura's head drooped forwards and she released Jane's arms from her grasp. Shaking her blonde waves to cover her face Maura muttered an apology and attempted to stand.

"Hey -" Jane pulled Maura back before she could get away. The bear hug she gave was tight and strong, Maura couldn't have escaped even if she wanted to. It made the Doctor a little giddy and she stifled a girlish squeal at Jane's insistent and intense tactility. Maura's body was tense for a long moment but Jane felt her relax, followed by arms encircling her waist. She felt Maura squeeze back as one of her hands found its way to the back of Maura's head and stroked her hair.

"I don't like hugs either," Jane deadpanned and Maura burst out laughing.


It was some minutes later when Maura opened her eyes. She was curled up against Jane's chest, revelling in the safety of her best friend's arms. She snickered lightly at herself, the ridiculousness of her denial, how silly it was that she had wanted to bolt from the room when she could have this.

"What?" Jane enquired.

Maura lifted her head and shook it gently, "Oh nothing, I was just enjoying the cuddling. No one's ever treated me this way before. Not even Ian."

"I don't believe you…"

"It's true. And even if it doesn't ever happen again at least now I know what it feels like."

"Well, in that case I'll make you a promise… one I don't need you to go sharing around, by the way -" Jane said and watched as Maura giggled and ran a fingertip over her raised eyebrow, causing a grin to explode on the brunette's face before she became quiet and serious again. "I'll always be here, Maura - I mean that, if you just need a hand to hold or if you need a hug. To protect and serve; that's my oath to you."

Maura gasped softly and held a hand over her heart, "Jane, that's -" There was that damned throat lump again. Maura spoke in hushed tones, a secret between the two of them alone - "No one else knows how sweet you are, do they?"

Jane shifted to her knees, then standing tall as Maura sat back on her feet and looked up. Jane reached down with her hands, grasping Maura's tightly and pulled the blonde to stand in front of her, "No, they don't, and if you tell anyone, or mention cuddling again I'll deny everything!"

Maura laughed loudly before attempting her own version of the patented Rizzoli eye roll, "Oh there she is."

Jane's eyebrows drew together, "She who?"

Maura's mouth curled up at either side, "The Jane I know, whom always breaks the tension or ruins a sweet moment with a joke."

The second Maura said it Jane cringed, "Sorry." Not five minutes ago she'd all but promised never to do that again. It was little wonder Maura could rarely take her seriously.

"It's fine," Maura purred, still holding both of Jane's hands. "You're just you," she shrugged - "You make jokes." Maura cupped one of Jane's cheeks and held Jane's gaze for a beat, "Don't change."

The two women were instinctively drawn together once more. Each planted their chin on the other's shoulder as their arms embraced and pulled their torsos together. It was comfortable beyond anything either had experienced before.

Drawing back, Jane aimed a soft peck at Maura's cheek… and missed.

Both women froze. Jane was always quite affectionate, even if she wasn't very demonstrative. For as many times as Jane had kissed her head during times of upset or happiness, Jane had never before kissed anywhere near Maura's lips.

Maura wasn't breathing, afraid to move, anticipating walls crashing down, Jane cracking a joke, sirens blaring, or, more likely, for someone to wake her from slumber where she sat holed up in her bathroom. Nothing - nothing but several beats of heavy silence.

That her lips were never meant to find Maura's hadn't occurred to Jane. The instant it happened her mind had gone blank. Her body was motionless but her eyes searched for something. Then without any conscious permission her lips pressed against Maura's again. There was no mistake this time.

Their arms had barely retreated, bodies still pressed together having had no time to withdraw, and so faces remained in close proximity where one could feel the breath of the other on their face.

As lips parted Maura's brow was creased, hazel eyes now searching just as deep chocolate had done, sweeping over familiar facial features, content only once settled upon pinkish lips.

"What - ?" Maura breathed, unable to find any words through her confusion.

Unmoving, Jane shook her head gently as her husky voice failed her and she cleared her throat, "I don't - I don't know."

A strange mixture of curiosity and desire was coursing through Jane as she stroked soft fingertips down Maura's cheek. Taking a plump bottom lip between hers, Jane kept her eyes open to capture Maura's reaction. The instant Maura closed her eyes and seemed to melt into the kiss Jane closed hers and focused solely on the sensations of their lips pressed together.

Maura ran a flattened palm down Jane's chest, "Jane, I…"

"What are we, Maura?"

Slightly taken aback, Maura tilted her head to the side and willed away the nerves that suddenly shook at her core.

As if this turn of events were the most natural thing in the world, "We're best friends."

Jane lowered her forehead to where it met Maura's, barely touching and seeking no support other than tender proximity, "So why doesn't this feel weird?" she whispered.

Maura let out the breath she'd been holding and whispered Jane's words back to her, "I don't know."

"But we shouldn't – I -" Jane pecked at Maura's lips again as the blonde took her turn to caress a cheek with her fingers.

"I know."

Jane stared lovingly into hazel eyes as both her hands moved slowly up Maura's back, "So tell me to stop."

Maura dipped her head and parted her lips. Taking in the Detective's bottom lip first, she flicked her tongue teasingly before swiftly moving to suck on the brunette's top lip.

"No."

Jane pressed forward, pushing Maura slowly backwards, "We'll need to talk about this."

Maura's back hit the bedroom wall with a soft thud as the hands that were previously on her back now found hair to grab and a neck to caress.

Jane was breathing heavily as she pressed the entire length of her firm body against Maura's curves.

With both hands fisted into the front of the brunette's shirt, Maura whispered into an open mouth, "Later."