A/N: Okay, I know I haven't posted on this in quite a long time, but I've been working really hard on one of my other stories, What If I Lay An Egg?. Check it out? Plz? "I can has a fall out boy plz?"~ a very cute kitten on a Fall Out Boy shirt.

The teacher led me down the hallway to the guidance office. Outside of the office, the rest of the Flock was waiting in a row of chairs. Fang gave me one of his what did you do this time looks. I stuck my tongue out at him and barged into the office, not waiting to be invited in. There was some old guy sitting behind the desk and Anne was sitting in a chair across from him. She looked disappointed in me. Like I care.

"Hello. You must be Max. Please, sit down. My name is Mr. Stone," said the old dude, gesturing at a chair next to Anne. I sat. I decided I was going to cooperate. For now.

"So, Max. What seems to be the problem?" asked the Stoner. Clever huh?

"There is no problem," I said in kind of a smart-alecky way. I guess cooperation went out the window.

"So why are you here?" Stoner asked. He asks a lot of questions.

"You tell me. Cause honestly, I have no freaking idea."

"Your teacher told me that you weren't paying attention in class. Again."

"So? History is boring. My mind drifted. Sue me," I said.

"Is there something in particular you were thinking about? Are you worried about something?" he asked.

"No," I lied.

"Max, you can be honest with me. I won't judge you," he said.

"People judging me is the least of my problems."

"So, you admit that there is something wrong. What other problems do you have?" asked the Stoner. Wow. He was good at getting answers out of me. I have a feeling I'm not gonna like this dude.

"It's just an expression. I don't have any problems. My life is completely perfect and problem-free," It took everything I had to keep from laughing at that.

"Do I sense a hint of sarcasm?" Jeez! Why won't he stop asking so many questions?

"Wow! You're quick! You must have some kind of sixth sense about these things! Are you hiding a sarcasm detector under your desk? Does it work like gay-dar? Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I'm picking up something from you, Stoner." Sadly, The Stoner did not seem surprised by my general rudeness. I have to say I was disappointed.

"Max, would you feel more compelled to talk to me if your mother wasn't in the room?"

"Anne is not my mother." How dare he!

"Oh, I'm sorry. I just assumed." The Stoner was embarrassed.

"Well, you know what they say about when you ass-ume," I said.

"Ah, of course. Would you like Anne to leave the room?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I'd like her to leave the room. But I still won't talk to you. I'm just not overly fond of her." Am I mean? I like to think of it as self-preservation. No, I'm just mean.

"Anne, I think it would be best if you let me talk to Maxine in private," said The Stoner.

"Oh, hell no! My name in NOT Maxine!" I exclaimed, as Anne left the room.

"See, is that the temper that keeps getting you in trouble?"

"I don't have a temper!" I yelled, apparently horribly loudly, because I heard a chorus of giggles from the Flock in the hallway, and downright chortling from Fang. I'll kick his ass when I get off of school grounds. Can't afford another suspension, like I give a crap.

"Max, I just want to help you get to the bottom of your behavioral issues."

"I don't have any fucking behavioral issues! Leave me the hell alone and let me go home! Unless of course you'd rather I kill you right here! Cause trust me, I'm perfectly capable!" I screamed, jumping out of my chair in a mad fit of mega-loathe-ness.

"Max, try and use appropriate language in my office, and please sit back down," he said with a straight face. Wow. He is the first person I've ever met who wasn't affected by my violent, threatening outbursts. Every one else's knees would have been quaking in terror.

"Max, I have been doing this for over twenty years. I can tell when something is bothering someone. You can tell me. It's my job to listen and try to help. Is it a boy problem?"

"Ha. Yeah right. Like I'd talk to you about Fang," I scoffed.

"Fang, huh?" inquired Mr. Stone.

"Wait! I… err… Fang is my dog! Yeah, he uh, he's got doggy leukemia. It's really sad," I mumbled, trying desperately to save myself from humiliation.

"Is this "Fang" in your class? Do you like him?" asked The Stoner, completely disregarding my previous explanation. This guy can see right through me. Luckily though, at school, people thought Fang's name was Nick, so he doesn't actually know who I was talking about. He probably thought I was using 'Fang' as a codename.

"Is that why you don't pay attention in class?" he asked.

"There's a lot of reasons I don't pay attention in class… But yeah, that's kinda one of them," I admitted. Wait. Why exactly am I spilling my guts to this dude?

"Yo, I got to go Stoner," I said as I got up from my chair and walked to the door.

"See you tomorrow?" he asked.

"We'll see."

A/N: "That hurts it's so funny!" ~ Katie, about me talking about how much Cobra Starship sucks. I'm on the phone right now, by the way. *tear*…. Panic At The Disco is breaking up!! NO!