So, I officially hate technology now and I'm pretty sure it has hated me for a long time. My stupid laptop freaked out (mainly because it's mine and I have a tendency of breaking things). Thank goodness I have a computer genius as a brother and I didn't loose anything. :D

I definitely think I'm better at one-shots than long stories but I am having way to much fun writing this to stop.

Here's chapter three! (I still don't know a lot about Bleach so if I get something wrong, please forgive me.)


A few days after their day spent together, Hinamori found herself awake earlier than usual. Not being able to get back to sleep, she decided to dress and to take a stroll while the sun came up. She was walking out of the fifth division and into the courtyard when she saw a familiar head of white hair standing with a tall blonde. Hinamori and Hitsugaya had seen little of one another with their busy lives except when she had returned his haori. Upon walking up to them, she noticed Hitsugaya's eyes widened and he mumbled something to Matsumoto. She had the feeling she wasn't supposed to be there but Matsumoto turned around smiling and said happily:

"Hinamori!"

"Hi Matsumoto, hey Hitsguaya," Hinamori replied, coming up next to them. Hitsugaya nodded to her but didn't look her in the eyes. "I'm sorry if I interrupted you guys, I just wanted to say hello."

"Oh no, you weren't interrupting anything. The captain here is about to go on a mission and I'm sending him off," Matsumoto said. Hinamori barely caught a hint of anger in her voice; she put on a puzzled expression.

"You're going alone?" She asked, turning to Hitsguaya but he glanced at her then looked up at Matsumoto as she began to explain.

"Yeah, I'm being left behind."Again Hinamori caught the anger in her voice.

"I should get going," Hitsguaya finally spoke. He turned around and opened the gate but before he could take a step towards it, Matsumoto had him in one of her infamous bear hugs. Finally letting him go, he said, "Bye Matsumoto." Then he turned to Hinamori. "Bye Hinamori."

She smiled sweetly. "Bye Hitsguaya. Be safe, and promise me you'll come home soon." He finally looked her in the eyes. A sudden wave of sadness came over his face but then his lips flickered in the smallest of smiles.

"I promise."

A small breeze blew her sleeve, tickling her hand and sent a strange shiver up her spine.

Hitsugaya headed to the gate but stopped before stepping through, looking back at Matsumoto then to Hinamori. He stared at her for a long moment, his eyes boring into hers. She smiled brightly back and waved a hand in goodbye, wondering why he looked so sad. Smiling one last time, he disappeared through the gate.

It had been almost a week since Hitsugaya's departure and Hinamori found herself anticipating his arrival back, she was really beginning to miss him. There were whispers that something wrong had happened because he was long overdue. Hinamori paid them no attention, she was confident that he would come back. Going about her daily business as Fifth Division vice captain, she never dreamed the day would end so horribly.

It was a very warm and sunny afternoon in May. Everyone was trying to spend most of their time outdoors as was Hinamori. She was heading to the Seventh Division to send a message from her captain when she noticed a commotion in the courtyard. Thinking that Hitsugaya had finally come back, she quickly walked towards the group. Upon arrival she sensed something was wrong. Everyone shared worried expressions and fervent whispering. She caught one say: "If a captain was killed, there was no way someone like us could have stood a chance." Her heart nearly stopped, there was only one captain she knew of that had been out. Shoving her way through the crowd, she stopped just on the inside of the circle. Unohana was bent over a small figure. Catching a glimpse of spiky white hair, Hinamori covered her mouth with trembling hands. It couldn't be. She began walking to them but felt a hand on her shoulder. Looking up she found Matsumoto who shook her head solemnly. Her face was oddly expressionless.

"There is nothing to see here! Now leave!" Hinamori heard Yamamoto's booming voice as he made his way to the center of the crowd. Everyone dispersed except Hinamori, Matsumoto and a few captains who had found out about the situation. "Who found him?"

"I did Sir," Matsumoto spoke up.

"How did you find him?"

"I found him lying here," Matsumoto explained, her eyes slightly glaring at Yamamoto. There was definitely something going on that Hinamori didn't know about. "I'm not sure if he was still alive or not when he came back."

Unohana slowly stood up and Hinamori could now clearly see Hitsguaya lying on the ground. Hinamori let out a stifled gasp. A part of her knew it was him but she didn't want to believe it, and she couldn't believe it still.

"He's been gone for a while I'm afraid," Unohana said gently.

"So, someone just dumped him here and that was it?" Ukitake said a flash of anger in his voice.

"We can't know for sure. Unohana, get him somewhere more private. I need to speak with Central 46." Yamato turned to leave as did most of the other captains. Unohana ordered two of her squad members to fetch a stretcher.

Hinamori stepped forward. "Captain Unohana," she said while bowing. "May I…May I see Hitsguaya one last time?" She asked timidly.

"Of course dear," she peered at her with sad eyes. "Take as long as you need."

"Thank you."

Hinamori slowly walked over to Hitsugaya and knelt down next to him. Gazing down at him, he simply looked like he was asleep having a peaceful dream. There were no signs of cuts or bruises; he looked perfect like he always had. She gently touched his cheek where she had kissed him and couldn't help but smile slightly; his reaction had been priceless. Truth be told, she wasn't sad, she was happy; happy that she got to know him, happy that they got to spend so much time together. It hadn't hit her yet that he was gone.

"This is too much."

Hinamori looked up at Matsumoto who was quickly dashing away her tears. Their eyes met for a second, then Matsumoto spun around and half ran away. Poor Matsumoto, she thought. She knew exactly what it felt like to lose a captain, maybe she would talk to her later. Hinamori turned back to Hitsugaya.

"Little Shiro," she whispered very quietly and barely moved her mouth so no one could hear. "You're my best friend; life won't be the same without you." She fingered the ends of his hair. "I wish I could have done more for you." Thinking it would be strange to kiss a body; she instead kissed the tips of her fingers and put them to his cheek. "Thank you Hitsugaya."

Noticing the fourth division members coming, Hinamori looked at Hitsguaya one last time before standing up and stepping back so they could do their job. She watched as they carefully moved him to the stretcher and laid a sheet over him, finally covering his face. A sudden wave of sadness came over her as they hauled him off and an arm dropped limply from the stretcher.

"How are you doing Hinamori?" She was startled when her captain spoke.

"I'm doing OK." She put on a weak smile.

"I heard you two were very close."

"Yes, we were. We grew up together, he and I. He was always there," she answered in a hushed tone. "My eyes can see that he's gone, but my mind hasn't comprehended it yet." The Fifth Division captain put a hand on her shoulder.

"I want you to take the rest of the day off."

"I'm alright," she protested.

"No," he insisted. "I want you to take the day off and rest. You need it."

"Thank you sir," she said and bowed.

Hinamori slowly walked back to the Fifth Division and to her room. When she entered the room, she paused, looked around, then spotting a book she picked it up, flipped through the pages and put it back. She sighed and went to her mat, staring up at the ceiling. She couldn't stop thinking about Hitsugaya. She thought about his blue-green eyes and his smile; she thought of how it felt to have his arms around her, how her stomach fluttered when he took her hand; she even dreamt about him while she slept.

Evening had fallen when Hinamori awoke. Rubbing her eyes, she stood up and stumbled around her room to get to the lamp for some light. Standing in the middle of her now lit room, she tried to remember why she had gone back and slept. Like a flash flood, the day's events suddenly rushed to her mind: Hitsugaya had been found dead in the courtyard. She sat down hard on the floor, feeling the blood draining from her face. He was dead.

She didn't move as her mind reflected back on that day, when she had seen him lying on the ground with no life in him. Why hadn't she been upset? When she found Aizen dead she had reacted much differently, she had been sure someone had killed him and wanted revenge. But when she saw Hitsugaya she hardly felt a thing, she couldn't feel a thing still. Why? Hinamori slowly got to her feet. With trembling legs she headed for the door thinking a short walk would help ease her mind. As she put a hand on the door her eyes caught sight of a folded piece of paper on the floor with "Hinamori" across the top. Puzzled, she picked it up. She knew that handwriting, it was Hitsugaya's. Carefully unfolding it, she began to read:

Hinamori,

You know I'm not very good at this sort of thing, so here it goes.

I have a feeling we won't be seeing one another for a while. I want to let you know how grateful I am to you. I don't know if you know this, but you always have the right things to say and you're always there when I need you the most. Just know that whatever happens I'll always be with you.

-Hitsugaya

When she finished reading the letter tears where pouring down Hinamori's cheeks. It was short but sweet, something Hitsugaya would write. She had no idea she meant that much to him. To ease her sobbing, she put a hand on her chest and leaned against the wall. A thought suddenly came to her mind: that day at the pond. She had told him, "When you can't find me, I'll be here." "So will I," he had said. Letting the letter slip through her fingers, Hinamori flew open the door and flashed-stepped as fast as she could to the pond. Sweating and breathing hard, she got there in record time.

The full moon glistened eerily in the water. Everything was quiet except for the low chirp of insects. Hinamori stumbled to the edge of the pond and fell to her knees; her whole body shaking and eyes barely seeing through her tears.

"Hitsugaya," she whispered to the moon. "Hitsugaya," she said louder and her voice continued to rise. "Why did you leave me? I thought we would be together forever! I can't live without you! I need you!" Hinamori wrapped her arms around herself and leaned forward until her nose touched her knees. "Please stay with me." Her sobs became harder. "I need you…I want you Toshiro. I want you with me."

All of this time she was under the impression that she had once been in love with Aizen but now she was second guessing herself. He had never hurt her this much. Even when he betrayed her and tried to kill her, it didn't hurt as much as Hitsugaya dying. She continued to cry well into the night, not caring that she was laying in the mud or how cold she was.

Hinamori, Hinamori. You need to stop crying.

Hinamori let out a soft sob and lifted her head. "Tobiume?"

Yes, it's me. Tell me what is upsetting you.

Hinamori sat up, wiping away the tears on her face. "Shiro's dead," she choked out, "And I don't know what to do."

Is that all? She sounded a bit disappointed.

Puzzled, she thought for a moment. "Yes?"

You still don't realize it, do you?

"Realize what?"

Nothing, I'm not going to tell you if you can't figure it out for yourself. Hinamori scowled. Now, you said you don't know what to do anymore because your small, white haired friend is dead. Think for a moment, what do you think he would do if it had been you?

"He would pretend nothing was wrong and keep everything locked inside," she said instantly. "But I can't do that! I would explode!"

No, I don't suppose you would be able to do that. But think; he wouldn't be lying in the mud crying for hours.

Hinamori looked down at her muddy robe and felt ashamed. "You're right, he wouldn't. He would stay strong and I guess his way of staying strong is by not showing emotion." She stood up and said with determination. "I have to stay strong! Not just for me, but for him and everyone else!"

That's it.

"Do you miss them? Hitsugaya and Hyorinmaru I mean."

Tobiume was silent for a while. Yes, I do miss them. It's strange; I never thought I would miss that icy dragon.

Hinamori giggled but replied sadly, "It seems unfair that you realize how important someone is to you after they're gone."

All we can do is keep moving forward and hold on to our memories of that person, or else we forget.


I told you things would get interesting.

I had a really hard time writing this chapter. One day I sat down in front of my computer and listened to sad love songs and then this was born.

P.S. Some of the things Hinamori says are lines from the songs I listened to. Bahaha.