3. The Past Forgotten

Leon woke up with a feeling of annoyance, of something half-remembered. He felt small feet jumping up and down on his chest, and the irritation intensified as the memory faded away.

"Morning, Leon! Get up, sleepyhead!"

Yuna was much too cheery for such an early hour – the sun had only just broken over the horizon. He sat up, covered his eyes with one hand and attempted to grab Yuna with the other. She flew out of his reach with ease, smiling at her victory. Rikku and Paine joined her.

"The butterfly's moving again!" said Rikku. "You'd better hurry up if you wanna follow it!"

She flew ahead to keep pace with the butterfly until they caught up with it. Leon trudged at a slow, steady pace. The mountains ahead loomed over the horizon, and although it didn't seem like it, he could tell they were getting closer. The pixies were less patient.

Rikku floated by his ear. "I'm bored, Leon. Have we reached the treasure yet?"

"No."

Half a mile later, she blew a raspberry. "Are we there yet?"

"No. Don't start with that; I know how it ends."

She pouted. "How?"

"With a squashed pixie under my boot."

"Leon! I can't believe you'd say that, you big meanie!"

–A forest, green light dappling through the leaves, old brown leaves crackling underfoot…

"Do you actually have fun acting so callous? Meanie!"

He was brought back to the present by a smack against his forehead. Rikku had called Paine over.

"You got a problem?" Paine narrowed her eyes.

"Leave me alone." He pressed a hand on his temple, wondering if it was the tiring journey causing these… visions? Flashbacks? What exactly was he experiencing?

Rikku's shrill voice interrupted his thoughts. "I'm not leaving you alone until you apologise, jerk!"

"All right, all right. Sorry."

Yuna flew down to join them. She had been flying higher than any of them, scanning the landscape for signs of life or Heartless.

"Hey, is something wrong? Leon, you look… odd."

"I'm fine." He rubbed his eyes. "Headache, that's all."

"He was mean to me," Rikku pouted.

"Although you were asking for it," said Paine.

"No, I wasn't!"

They continued bickering, paying no more attention to Leon or where they were going. Yuna sighed.

"Did you see anything?" Leon asked.

"No… Aerith asked me to look out for Cloud and Tifa, but I can't see them anywhere. She said she'd pray for us."

"That's helpful."

"I might find them if I teleport. But I'm supposed to stay with you… Oh!" She growled in frustration. Turning to Rikku and Paine, whose argument had become a not-entirely-serious brawl, Yuna put her hands on her hips. "All right, girls, that's enough!"

The pair froze. Paine was holding Rikku upside down by her calf, while Rikku had wrapped her scarf around Paine's neck, pulling her down. As they released one another, Rikku grinned sheepishly.

"We need a proper plan," said Yuna. "One of us should go to search for Cloud and Tifa."

"I'll go," Paine offered.

Yuna smiled. "Thank you. Be careful, okay?"

"Good luck!" Rikku added.

Paine nodded at them, her eyes meeting Leon's last. He nodded back, a gesture of mutual respect. She vanished without another word.

Rikku clapped her hands, hopping up and down. "More treasure for us!"

If there is any treasure, Leon thought. He continued onwards in silence, ignoring Yuna and Rikku as they discussed the end of their journey again. Wherever the butterfly was leading them, what lay at the destination was meant for him alone. Of that much, he was certain. He frowned, squinting against the sun.

A graceful figure, outlined by the sun. Stepping forward, reaching out a hand… The face was blurred.

"Squall, have you forgotten me?"

Leon blinked again, and the figure became Yuna before him, shading her eyes as she flew on ahead. We all forgot the name of our home, he thought. What else have we lost?


Cloud was on the home stretch, trudging through the wide plain which led into the crystal fissures, and back to the castle. He was hot, tired and sweating from the sun beating down on his black clothes.

"There you are."

Cloud's eyes widened as a small black shape swooped down from nowhere. He almost drew his sword, but recognised the figure at the last moment.

"Paine."

Paine drew level with him, and kept pace as she regarded him. "Cloud. Where's Tifa?"

He shrugged. "Some way back, I think."

"You left her behind?"

"…Yeah."

"You heartless bastard. Now I've got to find her separately."

"Um…" But Paine had already disappeared. The pixies' teleporting abilities always left Cloud feeling disoriented. He rubbed his eyes before moving on. The world became strange when you were fatigued, like a hazy reflection of itself. The castle before him blurred and flickered; he saw shapes in the shadows, and the heat burning the back of his neck felt more and more like a malicious eye, watching him. Something dark lurked behind the sun's gaze.

He's watching me, Cloud thought. He's – he's –

"Behind you!"

Gasping, Cloud whipped around, sword raised.

"Whoa!" Paine leapt back as he almost struck her. "What's up with you?"

"I thought you…" Cloud swallowed. His nerves were still jangling, his heart beating fast. "I thought you were…"

Paine raised her eyebrows. "Someone else?"

"Yeah. Sorry."

She crossed her arms. "Remind me never to materialise behind you again. Geez."

Cloud remembered why she had disappeared before. Eager to change the subject, he asked, "Did you find Tifa?"

"Yeah. She's fine."

He nodded, relieved. "Did you talk to her?"

"No. Thought I'd ask you what the deal is first."

"It's nothing," Cloud replied, though he still had that feeling of something shifting – something just out of his sight.

"You're a bad liar," she drawled. "Did you find the Heartless?"

"Yeah. It was Bahamut… or what's left of him."

He started moving again, glancing from side to side as they approached the shadow of the castle. Paine's eyes burned into him as he told her the rest of the story, and he felt hot shame bubbling in his stomach as he described how he had rejected Tifa's help, and subsequently refused her offer of a spare camp bed, to walk alone for the rest of the night.

"So," said Paine, "to sum up, you've been such a self-pitying jackass that even Tifa has finally gotten sick of you."

"…Yeah."

"Smooth."

He felt bleak and hollow, to hear the situation put in such blunt terms. "She's been so good to me," he said, looking down. "I don't deserve-"

"Uh oh," said Paine, alerting him at the same time as a shadow suddenly loomed over his head. Cloud looked up to see the face from his nightmares, haloed by the sun, and the point of a blade hurtling towards him. There was no time to think, or even to fear. Cloud dodged on pure instinct, but not fast enough; he caught a glimpse of Paine before she vanished, then blackness overwhelmed him.


"Are you really okay just waiting around for Cloud?" Yuffie asked. "Don't you, I dunno, want to kick his ass right now?"

Aerith laughed. "I'm not waiting around. Not when there's work to do."

The two girls were sitting at the kitchen table in Merlin's house, both clutching mugs of hot chocolate. Yuffie took a long sip, and sighed.

"There's not much to do now though. No Heartless around, not since Bahamut got taken care of."

"Do you remember the aeons, Yuffie?"

She shrugged. "Not really. Leviathan, the serpent. I know that one."

"I guess you were too young. But they've all been accounted for now. All except for one."

"Which one?"

"Shiva, the goddess of ice."

"Sounds cool." Yuffie cackled. "Ya get that? Cool."

Aerith cracked a smile. "Yes, priceless. Anyway… I've been remembering a lot of things lately – more and more. Even if Shiva escaped being turned into a Heartless, there isn't anyone who could summon her left. All the summoners are gone."

"That's cheerful." Yuffie gulped down her drink, leaving a chocolate moustache adorning her upper lip. "You've cheered me up loads, thanks for that. Who cares about boring summoners?"

"I do," said Aerith, putting down her mug. "Think of what we could do with an aeon on our side. They're powerful; they could help protect us…"

"They weren't any use when the darkness came the first time, were they?" Yuffie argued. "They didn't stop Maleficent taking over everything! Where were the summoners then? Where were the aeons?"

Aerith sighed, twisting a strand of hair between her fingers. "I know. It's painful to remember everyone we lost. But Yuna told me… She confessed to me, her biggest secret. She used to be a summoner."

"What? A pixie?"

"She wasn't always a pixie. She used to be human, like us – and so did Rikku and Paine; they were her guardians. And she was the most determined of the summoners; she had a will like iron. Even though one by one her aeons fell, she remained defiant. She never gave up."

"Yuna? Are you sure we're talking about the same person here?"

"You don't know Yuna like I do. I've taken the time to get to know her. When you look below the surface, you'd be amazed at what you can find in people."

Yuffie made a disbelieving sound. "More of the same, probably."

"Yuna was tricked by Maleficent," Aerith continued. "The three of them were turned into fairies, and they became Maleficent's pets, working for her. But if we could get Yuna to remember her heritage…"

"She could teach us how to summon again!"

Aerith nodded. "Right!"

Paine appeared at her ear. Aerith, who was used to the pixies' sudden appearances, didn't flinch, but Yuffie jumped, spilling the last of her drink over her lap.

"Paine, hi!" said Aerith.

"Ow!" Yuffie cursed at the same time, glaring at the pixie. "This is your fault!"

But Paine talked over both of them. "No time to talk! Cloud's in trouble; you'd better get to him, quickly."


His senses became confused, jagged. Sephiroth slammed into him; Cloud hit the ground face-first; bolts of pain shot through his body – he rolled over – and Sephiroth was already there to pin him down. He slammed a boot into Cloud's chest, winding him, and the Masamune glinted above Cloud's throat. The breath, the fight, had been knocked out of him; he hadn't even been able to reach for his sword.

Sephiroth stared down at him, a dark, winged figure, his eyes narrowed. "You called? I was expecting a battle; this is much too easy…"

Cloud couldn't speak, but the moment's respite allowed his survival instincts to kick in. He lurched sideways, slamming his shoulder against Sephiroth's boot with enough force to knock his enemy off-balance. As he did so, the silver blade tore across his cheek. Cloud barely felt it; he was running on adrenaline, but in the second it took him to scramble up in order to draw his sword, Sephiroth had recovered and lunged forward again, skewering Cloud's thigh.

Cloud cried out, his head swimming with pain, as the injured leg crumpled under his weight. Sephiroth ripped the blade away and Cloud collapsed. The world began to blur at the edges. He was crippled now, and barely conscious. Looking up, he saw Sephiroth smirking above him.

"No fight left in you, Cloud?"

"Shut up!" he managed. He was sitting up, bracing his hands against the ground to support him, but he shifted his weight to just one arm, freeing the other to reach for his sword.

"No," Sephiroth continued. "Because you know you deserve to suffer."

Cloud's hand curled around the hilt of his sword; he could use it as a lever to pull himself up.

"You want this pain."

He yanked the blade from its sheath at his back, grimacing, and dug it into the ground, leaning all his weight on it.

Sephiroth's voice lowered to a whisper. "You need it."

"No!" Cloud got up and slashed wildly at Sephiroth, fury dulling the pain of his wounds. His foe stepped back, smiling, then raised his wings to cover his body, and disappeared in a whirl of black feathers. His breath coming in ragged gasps, Cloud looked around, unable to believe that Sephiroth hadn't finished him off. But the plains were empty as far as he could see, only the castle indicating that there might be life nearby.

As the blood ebbed from his body, Cloud took a deep breath and began his slow, painful limp home.


The sun was high in the sky by the time Leon, Yuna and Rikku arrived at the foothills that marked the end of the fissure. It rose up like a huge bowl, and the only way past was through a network of caves. They had reached the entrance to one such cavern. Its black mouth did not look inviting, but the butterfly flew on, into the cave, and as it passed over the threshold, a mirror of light flashed and it vanished. A glowing barrier sealed the entrance. Words painted themselves in the air, sparkling gold, written in the same hand as the letter:

Only those with hearts may enter.

"Those with hearts," Yuna repeated. "Well, that's all right! We all have hearts!"

But the pixies hung back, wide-eyed, waiting for Leon to go first. The butterfly had gone, but the instructions had not finished. He hadn't arrived yet; he knew he must continue. As he entered, a gust of cold air flew over him. The cave was large, and its icy breath seemed to beckon him on. He followed the draught, down into the dark and the cold. The pixies tagged along after him, subdued into silence.

At the back of the cave, the walls closed in; they had entered a tunnel. Leon's breath misted before him. Each pace he took was slow and measured, as his eyes adjusted to the dimming light. He was getting closer, closer to the person who had sent him on this journey, who was giving him these visions – he was sure of it.

"If we go any further, we won't be able to see!" Rikku squeaked.

"Can't you conjure a light?"

"Oh! Wait!" Yuna darted in front of him. Her hands adjusted her hair, then she plucked out a flower – the white bloom Aerith had given her. It began to glow faintly. She clasped it in both hands, and the glow intensified, lighting up all of Yuna's form. Her skin was pearly white, the pink edges of her top like bright petals, and her blue skirt like ocean waves breaking in the sun. The effect in the darkened space was dazzling; Leon blinked, his vision blurring for a moment–

"When the darkness comes, Squall, then remember. I'll be your light."

But I don't remember, he thought. There isn't anyone to be my light. I can only rely on myself.


Cloud made it to the bridge that crossed from the castle to the town before encountering anyone. With every pace he took, he could feel the blood leaking out, bit by bit. Every step, he grew a little weaker. He couldn't see clearly, or think clearly; his body moved on automatic, taking the route towards town that it knew so well, while his conscious mind dwelt on other things. The pain was a constant ache, so constant that he soon relegated it to background noise. Visions flickered before him.

Sephiroth… The great General, staring down at him with an insane light in his eyes. Piles of corpses, some still twitching, blood running past sightless eyes. A horde of Heartless behind, sniffing the air, like a pack of dogs waiting for his command. The wave of darkness crashed upon him, Sephiroth's cold laugh ringing out over the bodies of his friends. Pain. Things gnawing, biting, crushing; shadows that tore the flesh. He was dying, like the rest, all dead.

Then… A will to live – the world came back into focus; his head cleared.

"Cloud?"

Light all around him – not a hallucination; his injuries were healing. The wound in his leg closed up, his blood replenished, and his bruises wiped themselves away. He blinked, amazed at the intensity of the relief that gave him. A face appeared before him, and then a hand touched his shoulder.

"Are you all right?" Aerith asked.

He was on the ground, slumped against the bridge. He didn't know when that had happened. Cloud got up, rubbing his head dazedly.

"Yeah…"

"You're lucky I was here to heal you, mister. Any longer and you might never have walked again."

"Thanks."

Aerith stepped back, beaming. "Paine helped me to find you too."

The pixie was hovering at her shoulder. So she hadn't just abandoned him after all. Cloud nodded at her in gratitude.

"I want extra for finding him," said Paine, and vanished.

Now Cloud and Aerith were alone, and he didn't know quite what else to say to her. She was watching him, still smiling, her head tilted to the side.

"Welcome back," she said.

He nodded.

She poked him. "You shouldn't have gone off on your own like that; you had everyone really worried."

"I'm fine," said Cloud, "I always am."

"Are you really? I'm not so sure."

He shrugged. "I beat the Heartless. That's what I left to do."

"But what about Sephiroth?"

Cloud looked down, troubled. Sephiroth had tortured him, mocked him, and been defeated only to appear again – always, when Cloud was at his lowest ebb, when his heart was a quagmire of darkness and confusion. It felt like he was never far away.

"I don't know," he answered finally. "I think he's getting stronger…"

"You didn't beat him this time, did you?" Her voice was soft, but her eyes were full of worry.

"He didn't give me much chance."

"But you can," said Aerith. "You should never lose hope. Come back to Merlin's house. We'll figure something out, you and me together."

Cloud shook his head. "You know I have to settle this alone. It's my problem."

"It doesn't have to be. Tifa always said-"

He backed away from her. His skin prickled; his respite had been brief. The darkness was always there, lurking at the edge of his thought, ready to take centre stage again. "Just… stay away from me."

He hurried off back in the direction he had come from, not sure where he was going, but knowing that it was better to stay away from civilisation.

Behind him, he heard Aerith mutter, "Ooh, you're beginning to annoy me, Mister Strife."

He glanced back, but she wasn't following. She had called Paine again, and she whispered something to the pixie, who nodded. Paine flew towards him.

"You're not coming with me," said Cloud.

"Wouldn't dream of it, buster."

"What then?"

"Gonna fetch Tifa. You people are a pain to deal with."

Tifa… No, he couldn't face her again. Not when Sephiroth was still around somewhere. As soon as he could, he veered away from Paine's chosen route – and she was doing this deliberately, he was sure; he knew she could teleport straight to Tifa's last known location if she wanted to – and the pixie gave him a sardonic wave before vanishing. As soon as he was alone, his skin prickled again.

"Dare you face me, Cloud?" Sephiroth's amused voice echoed in his head. "I think not…"


The tunnel continued downwards at a slight, but constant gradient, and the temperature plummeted with it. Yuna led the way, like a beacon, with Rikku hanging behind her, her teeth chattering. Just as they reached a point where the tunnel began to open out into a cavern full of stalactites and stalagmites, the pixies froze. Leon saw what had caused their reaction: another magical barrier glowed before them. It looked like hazy glass, reflecting Yuna's light and their frightened expressions.

Once again, golden writing appeared.

"Only the pure of heart may pass," Leon read.

"Darn! That rules us out," said Rikku. "What about you, Leon?"

Leon shook his head. His heart sank. Guarded he might be, but he didn't think his heart had remained pure all these years.

"So none of us can pass?" Yuna asked. "That's so silly! Hardly anyone has a pure heart. Who made this game up?"

"I don't know," said Leon heavily, "but whoever it was, they wanted me to come here. I think – I think I have to try."

"I don't like the look of that barrier," said Rikku. "That's some pretty powerful magic."

"Maybe so," said Leon, "but I'm going through. You two stay here."

"No argument from me!" Rikku shivered. "Brr!"

Leon took a step towards the barrier, and Yuna flew over to him, placing one hand on his shoulder.

"I don't want you to go alone, Leon," she said softly.

"Yunie…" Rikku watched her friend, eyes pleading.

"Go back to Aerith," said Yuna. "Tell her where we are. If anything happens, you know where to find us."

Rikku darted over to Yuna and hugged her. "Be careful! And remember to save the treasure for Paine and me!"

Yuna laughed. "Will do." She disengaged herself from Rikku, and perched upon Leon's shoulder. He had been watching their exchange, gathering his courage for when he had to step through into the cavern.

Rikku vanished in a whirl of colour, and Yuna turned to meet Leon's eyes. Her steely resolve impressed him. He nodded, and together they stepped into the cavern.