A/N: Wow, that blew me away. Thank you so much for your reviews. I knew that writing Ran's past was going to be tough and it would be tough reading as well but to be honest, I didn't expect the type of reviews that I got. Any thoughtfully constructed review is helpful for a writer and it does motivate us to write but the ones where you guys share your thoughts and stories are the ones that really moves me.
I am glad to know that you guys got sad with Ran or teared up along with her because that was my intention. I must be turning evil. But worry not, I will give you a happy ending. It may not be as you hoped it to be because *SPOILER ALERT* I am going to kill off a few of the major characters that's going to start the downfall of Shinichi's lies. I am trying to make this story as realistic as possible.
Okay, moving on. I've decided not to do Haibara's past because it will play a role in BO mess. Can I just say how much I love her? At first, I didn't. To my sixteen year old self, she was a player member of the plot but she was also an obstacle for my ShinRan ship. But now? Damn. The character development as she went from a suicidal martyr to a person who won't back down until what's right is done was amazing. Ugh. I am rambling.
Unedited.
Ran had two famous people as her parents. Her mother as a successful lawyer and her father as a famous detective, aptly named 'Sleeping Kogoro'. The two of them dealt with many facets of law and many kinds of people. The ones who could never be innocent but they turned out to be. The ones who looked like they couldn't harm an insect let alone, kill a human being, but they did kill somebody. Being around her parents had taught Ran a lot about how cruel a human mind could become and what lengths a person could go.
She had Shinichi as one of her best friend. One of the renowned teenaged detectives. He had started small. Finding lost items or helping pet owners finding their lost pets. His big break came when they were aboard a plane heading towards America. But long before that, Ran knew that Shinichi could do anything he set his mind to. She knew that Shinichi was on his way to bigger and better things.
She had never seen passion like that and as much as his geekiness made her mad, she recognized how hard Shinichi worked towards his goal of becoming a detective. His whole body language would change at the word 'case'. He never spoke out while he was busy piecing together the clues he had found but his mind would whirl at lightning speed, taking in everything about that case; from how a person related to that case was reacting, to the littlest thing he felt was out of place. He would catalog every little act, every spoken word in his mind. And to Ran, that was fascinating. Seeing Shinichi in action was an amazement to her. She saw a spark in him that could cause a wildfire and she voluntarily chose to burn with that wildfire.
Surrounded by people who were so close to death and the darker side of humanity, she chose to be on the line. The line that demarcated logic and emotion. She could understand the hows, the whys, then whens of a case but she rarely actively tried to delve into finding the hows, the whys and the whens of a case. She left that to those who were used to a grim crime scene. She tried to preserve whatever little bit of innocence she had with every part of her soul. She didn't want to see the cruel world. She didn't want to acknowledge that if she wanted, she could piece in all the clues. After all, she was not an idiot. Keeping up with Shinichi was hard but somehow, she managed. It took all of her energy to be on the same level as him and she knew she failed to do that almost every time. He was always one step ahead of her. But she wasn't resentful of that. She knew Shinichi appreciated her for the things she did. As she appreciated the little things that he did for her.
If Shinichi was the dark knight, then Sonoko was the white queen. To Ran, both of them were irreplaceable. Whenever things got too much for Ran, she knew she could count on both of them. They had their differences but still respected the fact that Ran saw something in both of them that the other couldn't see. As kids, neither Shinichi nor Sonoko had great friends. Kids around Sonoko would be put off with her abraisive behaviour and how loud and outspoken she was. Kids around Shinichi would stay away because he acted like he was above all of them and how they couldn't hide away their secrets. Both of them were isolated in their own ways until Ran brought them together. She acted as the glue that was their trio. And she wouldn't trade it for anything.
Her mothering tendencies were something Ran took great pride in. With her father as he was and Sonoko being flighty and having bad judgements in relationships and Shinichi not eating for hours on end when solving a case and going head first in a possibly dangerous case, she had developed the habit of taking care of everyone around her. She always had a handkerchief ready. She always had a sewing kit with her. She always had some words of wisdom to share with Sonoko or words of encouragement and safety to share with Shinichi.
She was wise beyond years when it came to relationships. She supposed she could be greatful to her parents for that. For teaching her how to appreciate somebody and to not let the important people in your lives go. She supposed maybe that is why she waited for Shinichi. He was, and is, someone incredibly important to her. Beyond the fact that she was in love with him, Shinichi was the source of most of her morals. His thoughts on crime and people in general fascinated her. If Ran was the emotion expert, then Shinichi was the logic expert. He could thoroughly deconstruct how a murder took place and remain stoic, while Ran was the one dabbing her eyes at how sad the situation was. She knew she would never be capable of unflinchingly presenting her deductions. And she didn't try to, unless the situation called for it.
Speaking of presenting deductions, Ran found it odd how her father would solve cases. 'Sleeping Kogoro' was what the people had started calling him. A masterful detective who performed his deductions with his eyes trained towards the ground. She was grateful for that fact that her father was getting work and they were financially stable but still, she found it odd.
And the thing was that Sleeping Kogoro had started after a cute, seven year old boy, who looked like her best friend when he was seven year old, had come to live with her. Edogawa Conan. The cute boy with his too big glasses and red bowtie and blue jacket was too adorable for words. He had a knack for finding trouble and that flared up her mothering instincts. She was going to protect that child whatever it took. She treated him as her little brother. The one she always wanted but never got. And in a darkest corner of her mind, she admitted to herself, that Conan reminded her of Shinichi and that soothed the gaping hole he had left behind after his wake.
She never faulted Shinichi for making her wait. Because she knew, that if she chose to, she could stop waiting for him. And there was nothing that Shinichi could do. She was the one making herself wait. And maybe it made her an emotional fool who wasn't capable of letting go but wasn't that the point? Not letting go of the people who are important to you? She knew how easy it was to break off a relationship. Letting people go was easy and as life moved along, people made new friends and lost old ones. So when someone came into your life whom you know you can not ever replace, you don't let go. That's what life had taught her.
She knew how important she was to him when he called her out of the blue just to talk to her. She knew how Shinchi would get engrossed into a case and she didn't begrudge him his curiosity. It made him who he was and if she was truthful, she loved that part of him as well. That childlike curiosity that he never let go of. Yes, she would tease him whenever he would tell her on the phone that he was busy with a case but she knew that Shinichi was trying his best and so could she. Sometimes, it got too much and she cried for her best friend that never was with her. At those times, Conan was the one who would hold her together.
That sweet boy was one of her emotional crutches. And she hated that. He was supposed to be a fun loving, wide eyed innocent boy, not a support for a teenage girl. But as Conan stayed with them, she realized that he never was a fun loving wide eyed innocent boy. He lived for the cases that came to Mouri Detective Agency. The more trickier the better it was. At first, she tried to shield him away from the gruesome nature of humanity but he proved to be more of an expert on that topic than her. She wondered what kind of past he had that led him to be so stoic in the face of murder. She also realized that he wanted to be her emotional support. Conan had a knack of knowing when Ran was sad and he coerced her to talk to him so she could let out whatever she was feeling. Just like Shinichi.
Linking him to Shinichi was something she did unconsciously. She knew how absurd it was. How could somebody even shrink? That's science fiction stuff right there. She tried to shoo away any thoughts like that whenever it came but sometimes they stuck in her head until she felt like she would go crazy. So, she would confront him to let go of that crazy notion. Her head told her it was impossible that Conan was Shinichi but she felt it in her bones. She just knew that he was Shinichi.
She stalked him like her prey and demanded answers. How did he know things about her and her friends and family that only Shinichi did? Why had he turned so small? Why was he living with her? Why was he lying? She knew there was a damn good reason why he would hide from her. Shinichi believed in the power of truth and what it symbolized. He lived and breathed truth. So what had scared him so much that he was lying to her everyday? Was it something do with his shrinking? She had all these questions and more and was ready to fire at him but he always had reasons as his armour.
Reasons as to why he was so similar with Shinichi. Apparently, they were related. Reasons as to why he knew things about her. Shinichi talked to him about her. Reasons that always threw her off and made her lose the train of questions that she was dying to ask. She saw Conan and Shinichi together in a room once. She talked to Shinichi while Conan was just sitting in front of her. She had heard Shinichi's voice on the phone talking to her while Conan was just in front of her. All of her million theories and hopes and suspicion couldn't stand straight in front of an iron wall of reason and logic.
The whole ordeal left a bitter taste in her mouth. She would be so sure that it was Shinichi behind Conan's mask and when she was proved wrong, it left her deflated. She could create a thousand theories, she could feel it in her gut that it was Shinichi but without solid proof, it was impossible for her to prove that.
She knew how easy it would be to get her proof. She knew that all she needed was fingerprints and a police officer wiling to help, or at least, be easy enough to trick. She had many ways to get her suspicion confirmed. She was surrounded by police officers and detectives and lawyers. The only reason why she hadn't done that was because it was unethical. If Shinichi wanted to hide his identity from her, she couldn't stop him from doing that. He had all the right to be wherever he wanted to be and whatever he wanted to do. But she deserved an explanation when he was staying in her house and lying to everybody.
The fact that Shinichi was lying was a huge warning bell for her. He wasn't a liar. The only instances he lied were when somebody's life was at stake and he needed to prevent that person from dying. He also had a bad habit of shielding her. Anything and anybody that could harm her had to pass through Shinichi. That habit of his was both endearing and maddening. She was capable of protecting herself. She could use her brain. She was resourceful. She was not a damsel in distress. But that didn't stop him from trying to protect her.
All of those things combined led her to only one conclusion. That Shinichi was in big trouble. And many people could be in danger. She couldn't help but feel a little betrayed. Didn't Shinichi trust her? Was she really not that strong as she thought herself to be? Was she a liability to him? Was the fact that she was an emotional person preventing him from telling her the truth? Had she done something wrong that she couldn't be trusted?
But then, she knew that Shinichi would try to hide something that bothered him. Whenever there were easy cases, he would babble at lightning speed about them but whenever something big happened that would trouble him, he would try to hide it from her and she let him. Because she knew that somewhere along the line, he would tell her the truth.
So, she swallowed whatever she wanted to say. Sometimes, they would bubble up but she tried her best not to think about it. She treated Conan as her younger brother and she treated Shinichi as her best-friend-turned-into-love-interest, with the hope that he would tell her the truth and the knowledge that he wouldn't.
~oOo
Both her parents were stubborn people. Once they got an idea stuck inside her head, nothing less than a god's intervention could enable either of them to let go of that idea. That applied to their marriage as well. They weren't divorced but lived separately. Both of them cared for each other but all they did was fight and glare at each other. Both of them missed the other but neither of them wanted to admit it. So, Ran took up the mantle for bringing her parents back together. Most of the time, she failed in her plans but sometimes, they were successful. She would enlist Sonoko's and Shinichi's, when he was in his normal form, help and try to get them together. With Shinichi shrun-, gone, Conan would try to help her out sometimes.
So, with that in mind, she had planned one of her subtle get-my-parents together plans. Conan had some things to plot-err, some plans to play with his friends and so he had woken up that morning to cheerfully inform her that he was going to stay at Professor Agasa's and to have fun, Ran-neechan with an innocent smile on his face. She snorted when she thought of that. Shinichi could sometimes act so cut-err, Conan could sometimes act so cute. Yes, Conan. She had decided to let Shinichi have his secret and she would play her part of not knowing who he was. She sometimes, and only sometimes, took joy in how he would squirm at uncomfortable situations.
Well, he does deserve a punishment for lying to me.
She shook her head slightly to get those thoughts out of her head and concentrated on the upcoming task. Calling her mom to meet her. She would conveniently leave out the fact that Dad was coming with her as well. They would meet. She would see to it that they were being civil to each other. She would make Dad take them in a restaurant and when all would be looking well, she would take off with some excuse or the other to get them alone.
Yes, that was perfect.
So, she towed her father along with her and they picked up her mom. Neither of them looked happy to see the other and both of them looked at her with I-know-it's-your-idea glare but humoured her and they drove towards the restaurant that Ran had carefully picked.
They were bickering, as usual, in the front seat but it was regarding Mom's clothes and how revealing it was. It wasn't revealing. Even, Ran had much more revealing clothes than the ones her Mom was wearing and she knew that Dad was jealous. She smiled a little at how childish they were and looked out the window. The roads looked deserted as the day was starting to end. The sun had almost sunk when she turned her head around saw a black Porsche behind them. The car lurched suddenly as her Dad applied the breaks. She looked in front to see a blue sports car, of some sort, parked haphazardly across the turn of the road. She heard her father scream at the driver of the blue sports car but she was more worried about the black Porsche behind them.
Were the people in that car okay?
She twisted in her seat to see two men come out of the car. One was taller than the other, with unbelievably long silver hair. The one walking behind him was stout and was wearing sunglasses. Both of them wore black from head to toe. And for one split second, she thought that she recognized them. Had she seen those two somewhere? She couldn't recall. Well, whatever. She needed to know whether they were okay or not. They looked unharmed and the car seemed undamaged as well but just to be sure, she opened the car door and started to walk towards the men. She heard her mother say something but by that time, she had almost reached the two men.
She bowed her head in apology and started to explain, "We're so sorry, sir. The car just suddenly came across the road and we apologize if there were any damages."
She raised her head to see the men's reaction and felt a shiver run through her when she looked into the taller man's eyes. They looked so... dead. She had, never in her life, seen eyes liked that. And then again, the thought came that she had seen him somewhere. The man with the sunglasses behind him, as well.
She opened her mouth to ask whether they had met each other before when he she heard her father scream. She turned around wildly to see what had happened and felt a hand strike across her neck. The last thing she could see was her mother slumped across the car and her father at a gun point.
A/N: Yep. That happened. I'm evil. Thoughts?
