Summary: Andrew interviews Spike in an attempt to find out more about the nature of the vampyre. Season 7.
AN: Inspired by the style of Anne Rice novels Interview with a Vampire & The Vampire Lestat as well as the BtVS Ep. Storyteller.
Disclaimer: The characters of BtVS are the property of Joss Whedon, Fox & UPN.
Interview with the Vampyre
by Andrew Wells
Vampyres are rarely seen without a clan, be it family pack or a gang of minions. I am not sure why this is so. Maybe their unholy bonds forged in the blood of innocents refuses to allow them a solitary existence. Or maybe they get bored during the day without someone to talk to. Either way, a vampyre is tied to the ones who made them and the children of the night that they created. The demon in front of me was once part of such a family. A deadly trio, plus one, if you will. You made have heard of them, no? I am speaking of the Scourge of Europe. Many tremble in fear at their demonic deeds. Regrettably, I am still a little puzzled over what their deeds were as an unfortunate accident forced me to stop reading of their exploits. However, Mr. Giles assured me that I would begin to know them personally if I ever spilt soda on his watcher chronicles again-
'Passions rules the vampyre. Passion for blood. Passion for destruction. Passion to pick on those smaller and less toned than them. Passion for-'
'Friggin' hell, will you cut that out?'
Andrew paused.
'Sound like bleedin' Angelus on another power trip. Look at me, I can string a sentence together, listen to me dribble on and on, admire my, oh so sexy voice,' Spike stopped his tirade with an awkward grimace, 'and all that rot.'
'Um, perhaps now is the time to receive some insight into the structure of vampyre relationships.'
Andrew turned away from the camera and faced Spike.
'Tell us, your faithful interviewer and future audiences, about your relationship to the evil vampyre Angelus?'
'The poof? Right well, he was turned by her royal highness, Darla, the former street walker-'
'Note the vampyres use of sarcasm when speaking of elders.'
'Anyway," Spike continued, 'They were murder, mayhem and tragic hair, the latter mainly due to Angelus, for eighty years or thereabouts till they saw my dark princess. They made her mad before turning her and then, a couple of decades later she made me a vampire.'
'Ah, the vampyres voice takes on a wistful tone when referring to his 'dark princess' and former paramour, um, Drusilla. Perhaps remembering happier times. Or bloodier ones, I can't be sure.'
Spike ran a hand through his hair, 'The next twenty years or so weren't no bed of roses but we survived and when Angelus left-"
'Angelus, I'm assuming was the Alfalfa male of the group?' Andrew asked.
'That's Alpha, dimwit.'
'Ahem,' Andrew coughed at the correction, 'I seem to have some thing stuck in my throat. As I was saying, Angelus was the Alpha male?'
Spike nodded, 'He had Darla over him like a bitch in heat and Dru, well, she couldn't help it. Bond with the sire's hard to break.'
'I see. Future slayers, be aware that the emphasis on the sire bond needs to be examined in further detail for possible vulnerabilities. Can you tell us what happened to Angelus?'
'Yeah, ate a gypsy girl and her clan cursed him with a soul. Turned him into an even bigger poofter than he was before, if that's possible,' Spike grinned, 'Warms my unbeating heart to think of Angelus eternally trapped within that nancy boy facade.'
'So your growth as a vampyre was directly related to you positioning within the family. Interesting.'
'Yeah it is at that.'
Spike stood and walked over to the bottom of the stairs, 'Nibblet, bring us down a drink will ya? I can't keep the boy occupied on an empty stomach.'
Mindless to Dawns reply, Andrew sat at the table contemplating this new information. Vampyres and Slayers, both plucked from obscurity and handed a new destiny, each waiting for their chance to step out of anonymity and grasp hold of their ancient birthright. It was a lot to think about. A real metaphysical can of worms. Mmm. A refreshing Zima would be good right now.
