Chapter 3: Declarations
The weekend had arrived, which was always a bittersweet thing. On one hand it was a break from schoolwork, and on the other hand it was more time I would end up spending at home. Over the years it had gotten harder to remain at home at all. I couldn't stand the way David treated me, and my dad, while not nearly as bad, wasn't particularly appealing to me either. That's how I found myself currently wandering the streets.
The air had a chill to it which was understandable, as it was nearly the end of October. The past week had been relatively good as I continued to talk with Mello. I found him remarkably easy to talk to, which was strange since I had never found it particularly easy to talk to anyone. I had Joe and Michelle of course and they were great but Mello was different.
I threw that word around a lot when I thought about Mello. Different; separate or distinct from another or others. Unique was another good word, as I had come to see a bit more as we continued talking.
His fashion was different for one, so far from the either preppy or lazy style that governed the school. His hair definitely stood out. There was something very feminine about him, but at the same time you just couldn't mistake him for a female once you felt that attitude coming off of him. It was impossible to describe.
We really did make a good team. He was very good at translating the directions into equations, and I was good at solving them. Together we completed our assignments at a quick pace, often before the rest of the class, giving us more time to talk.
I shivered slightly as the breeze picked up and began heading towards the park, not quite ready to head inside yet. It was a nice afternoon, despite the clouds and the chill in the air. Once I reached the park I sat on one of the deserted swings, mind still focused on Mello.
It was refreshing to have someone to hold a stimulating conversation with. Mello was obviously very intelligent which led to some intriguing debates. Did all friendships occur this naturally? It had taken much longer for me to get this comfortable around Joe and Michelle.
"Hey."
I looked up to see Michelle in front of me. She offered me a smile and sat beside me on a swing. "Hello, Michelle. What brings you out?"
"Nothing in particular, just felt like taking a walk. I like the park and since it's supposed to rain I figured no bratty children would be around." I snorted in amusement as she began to pump her legs, the chains squeaking more loudly the higher she got. "And what about you? I thought you didn't care for the outdoors."
I shrugged, not answering. We were silent for a while, me lost in my own thoughts as she swung. A while later I felt a raindrop and heard a low rumble of thunder. Michelle quickly slowed to a stop. "Come on Matt, it's going to storm. Let's go to that café you like so much."
Not wanting to get rained on I agreed, and we quickly walked to the café, making it inside just before it started pouring. Relieved, we grabbed the only open table. Michelle ordered our drinks and brought them back, sitting across from me.
We sipped our drinks in silence for a little while before Michelle spoke. "So Matt, you're spending a lot of time with Mello lately."
"And you Michelle, are spending a lot of time with Joe."
Her cheeks flushed slightly and I smirked. She took a sip of her mocha, avoiding my eyes. "What's your point?" she asked defensively.
"What's your point?" I threw back at her.
"Nothing! I was just saying, you don't often talk to new people and well…you know the rumors."
"Not you, too," I groaned. Rumors on Mello's sexuality had been running rampant for the past week. I didn't know why everyone seemed so obsessed with his sexuality…if he even was gay he most certainly wasn't the only one. The entire school was aware of the very flamboyant sophomore named Brian…but then again, he didn't have the best reputation or popularity throughout the school…
I didn't want to think about that.
"Matt you know I don't care but…well you know how Brian is treated. And Mello is always getting those same looks, but no one has confirmed it so nothing has happened. I just don't think you always being with him is helping to get rid of the rumors."
I choked on my coffee, coughing abruptly as what she said registered. "What?!"
She held up her hands defensively. "I'm not saying anything! I'm just saying he's very…well, he's in choir with me and…I can't really explain it. He has an amazing voice but it's…Well, you hang out with him. Don't you suspect it?"
I didn't answer but if I was honest with myself I did. Michelle was right about it being hard to explain. It wasn't in the way he talked really, and he didn't go around proclaiming anything…it was just a vibe I got off of him.
The bell above the door sounded and I glanced up only to see the object of our conversation. He had obviously been caught in the storm, though it looked like his jacket had protected him from getting too wet. Strands of his hair not under the protection of his hood fell heavily to his shoulders as he pushed his hood back. He didn't glance around, ordering his drink promptly before he took in the café. His eyes met mine and his lips quirked in what might have been a smile. His eyes slid to Michelle and his expression changed slightly, though I couldn't explain how. Regardless I waved him over, glancing at Michelle to make sure she didn't mind.
"Hey, Mello," I said as he reached our table.
"Hello," Michelle echoed, smiling up at him pleasantly.
"Hello. It's really raining out there," he said, glancing out the window. "It's just my luck that I chose today to walk."
I scooted over in the booth, giving him room to sit. He sat beside me, setting his drink on the table. "Rough luck. Do you normally drive?"
"Yeah. I'd rather not be stuck somewhere in case the weather heads south. Did you guys drive?" he questioned.
"No, we walked over once it started to rain," I told him.
"I'm just glad I wasn't wearing my new leather coat. It was not built to be poured on like this one was."
I glanced at Michelle, who met my eyes briefly before looking back at Mello. The conversation was pleasant for a while, not straying far from the weather and school until Michelle got a text. She pulled out her phone, smiling slightly as she read the message.
"From Joe?" I teased. She ignored me, instead texting him back.
"Joe seems to be a popular guy around school. I'd go for it if you like him," Mello said rather unexpectedly. We both looked at him, staring. He shrugged, as if he hadn't trodden on a subject that was never directly discussed. "He seems to be a nice, good looking guy who isn't nearly as moronic as most people in this district. Don't let someone else snatch him from you."
"Um…I…" she trailed off and looked at me but I didn't know what to say either, and we descended into an awkward silence. Mello didn't seem to notice, finishing his drink and tossing it in the garbage nearby. He raked his fingers through his blond strands, fixing his hair the best he could.
"So the syllabus says we get our chemistry project next week. What do you think he'll make us do?" he asked.
The conversation fell easily into the subject of schoolwork, and soon the rain had let up. We all dispersed, walking together for a bit before going our separate ways and heading home.
Sure Mello didn't listen to girly music or hang out with all girls or talk in that feminine way that gay guys always seemed to but…those were all just stereotypes. It's not as if that is how all gay guys were, and really I just had my suspicions about him.
Would it be weird for me to ask him about it? Probably; we hadn't known each other very long yet. But at the same time, if I asked I wouldn't have to wonder about it anymore, and maybe if he wasn't we could get all those rumors cleared up. After all, I didn't want Mello shunned by the school, especially for something that wasn't even true.
/…/…/…/
"So you and Michelle aren't an item then?" Mello asked on Monday at lunch. I choked on my milk, dimly registering that I seemed to be having a lot of shocking things said to me while drinking lately. Couldn't people wait to say crazy things until I wasn't in the middle of a meal?
"What in the world gave you that idea?" I asked once I had managed to swallow without choking.
"I just see you hanging around her a lot."
"She's just my friend. I've never even thought about her like that! I mean, I suppose she's pretty…I mean Joe seems to think so even if he never says it, but I never even thought about it before!"
"Is that so?" he asked, studying me. "You didn't even notice she was pretty?"
"Where is this even coming from?" I asked. "No I never noticed…never really thought about it. Why, do you think she's pretty?"
He shrugged. "I suppose. As pretty as any of the girls around here."
It was comments like those that really made me wonder. Nobody was sitting at the table with us and I leaned forward, motioning Mello to move closer to me. I noticed a couple of stares but ignored them as Mello leaned in. "I…I was just wondering…" I trailed off, not wanting to be rude, but his gaze encouraged me to go on. "Well there are all these rumors going around…" his eyes narrowed and I winced, backpedaling. "I don't put stock in high school gossip of course, but I just wanted to know for sure, not that I would care either way because it's not like it bothers me! I mean it's not like there's anything wrong with it of course, because well, I mean girls can be annoying, so I can see where you're coming from if that's where you are coming from and…"
"Yes," he interrupted.
I stopped talking abruptly. "Yes?" I asked.
"You're not fucking deaf are you?" he snapped. "I said yes, didn't I?"
"I…no…I mean yes you did and I'm not deaf and…and…okay," I said, shutting up.
"I know about the rumors of course, I'm used to them, even if I'm nothing like that Brian kid. People always seem to be able to tell. I'm not ashamed of it, but people are assholes so I'm not running around declaring how much I like cock or anything."
I didn't quite know what to say to that so I said nothing.
"You're not an asshole though so it's okay if you know," he said, looking just a little uncertain.
"No I'm not, so nothing to worry about from me," I told him.
He smiled slightly. "It's not you I'm worried about…I expect word will get around quickly enough. Your school doesn't seem to be particularly accepting or open minded, unlike my last one."
"I'm sorry," I said quietly.
"Not your fault. Besides, I was glad to get away from there. Just because I was in an accepting community didn't mean there was no drama." He didn't elaborate so I said nothing, and lunch continued as if nothing had happened. Really though, it wasn't that surprising, and I really didn't care. Mello being gay changed absolutely nothing.
/…/…/…/
I went to school the next day in a good mood. My dad and David hadn't been particularly annoying last night and my dad had actually been rather pleasant when I left for school. I was heading towards my locker like normal when I saw it.
It froze me to the spot. In big, blood red letters, painted on Mello's locker were the words "Fuck off fag!" I couldn't move…I couldn't even breathe. I could hardly think, too disgusted with the crude message. How had the news spread so quickly? How could someone say something like that to Mello?
Mello.
I tore my gaze away from the locker when I heard the footsteps behind me. Mello stopped beside me, gazing at the locker with a blank face for a minute before calmly walking forwards and collecting his books. He sat beside his locker, pulling out his homework as if nothing was wrong.
"Mello…"
"Yes Matt?" he asked.
"I…Mello, are you…okay?" I asked hesitantly.
"Why wouldn't I be? I've seen worse than this Matt believe me. These childish jabs won't get to me."
But I noticed how as the halls filled and people stared he began to get tense. I noticed the tension in his jaw as he stared down at his textbook, determined not to react. The warning bell rang and I slowly collected my books, still watching Mello as he slammed his locker shut.
I heard jeering laughter come from beside me and turned to see a group of the jocks that always populated the cafeteria staring at Mello and his locker. "We don't need anymore of you fags here!" One of them yelled obnoxiously.
"Yeah, go back to where you came from, faggot!"
"We obviously don't want you here!"
I noticed his hands clenching tighter around his books and turned back towards the jocks, glare firmly in place. I opened my mouth, ready to scream at them for being such assholes. "Why don't you back off?! Mello didn't do anything to you!"
The hall's volume fell, a hush falling over people in the immediate vicinity. Mello seemed alarmed suddenly, as the jocks moved forward and closer to me.
"Why do you care so much? Since when do you bother sticking up for people?" one of them challenged.
A teacher showed up then, hurrying us along as he looked at the locker disapprovingly. The jocks walked the other way and Mello appeared beside me suddenly. "Don't defend me like that," he growled.
"What?" I asked, astonished.
"Just don't. Do you want them on your case too? These people don't just stop that easily. Back off, I can handle this myself." He stepped away and stalked down the hall.
"Mello!" He didn't pause, and I walked to my next class, Mello's words and the red message burning through my head.
/…/…/…/
Mello didn't say a word to me throughout chemistry despite my many attempts to get his attention. He just stared ahead, listening to the teacher and ignoring the stares from our classmates. They were so obnoxious, the people who kept glancing back at him.
"Mello, I know you can't be okay," I whispered as the lecture began to come to a close. The bell would ring in a couple minutes and I didn't have much time. "That's a really shitty thing for someone to do and you don't deserve to deal with it. I mean you can talk to me."
The bell rang and Mello pulled his books into his arms. "I don't need your help," he said flatly before striding from the room. I watched him go, standing up more slowly and making my way to my locker to exchange my books. Mello's locker was in the process of being cleaned and I avoided looking at it, not wanting to see the blaring message on the locker. How could he stand it? How could he act like it was no big deal?
He was at our usual table at lunch, but there were a lot more eyes on him. I could tell he was tense. His face was stony as I sat by him, casting a weak glare around us before I began eating.
We both ate in silence for a little while before I spoke again. "Mello, what do you mean there's been worse? I mean that's so awful. You can't be okay with that. I mean, you're my friend…What's wrong with defending my friend?"
He slammed his milk down abruptly and I jumped slightly. "The problem is that if you defend me, you'll be the one getting fuck off fag sprayed on your locker and getting stared at and whispered about. It's not your problem so just let it go!" He stood, tossing his trash in the garbage and walking into the hall.
I didn't want him to be mad at me so I finished my last couple of bites and followed him. I could see where he was coming from, but he didn't understand…I never had someone I wanted to defend this much. Figuring he would have gone back to his locker, I headed that way.
I was right; Mello was at his locker. I was surprised that he wasn't alone. I couldn't hear the exchange of words from where I was but it didn't seem to be very pleasant…actually it looked rather heated.
I recognized Nick instantly. He was known as a huge homophobe in the school and I wouldn't be surprised if it was him who sprayed that message on Mello's locker. I quickened my pace as he began to herd Mello backwards against his locker.
"You like dick then you faggot? What's wrong with girls? You not man enough to satisfy them? You look like a fucking chick yourself," he growled, shoving Mello backwards. His back hit the lockers and Nick took another step forward. "Too scared to fight back?"
"I don't need to defend myself against someone as pathetic as you. You couldn't get a prostitute to suck you off. At least I can get some." He smirked.
"How dare you?! You're not worth the dirt on my shoes and you talk back to me?! My parents are some of the wealthiest in this town-"
Mello chuckled. "What an accomplishment. What are you, upper middle class? Back off, I don't have time for ignorant asses like you."
"We'll see who's laughing," Nick snarled but I reached them then, grabbing Nick's shoulder and shoving him aside. He turned wildly, eyes finding mine as I took a step towards him.
"Back off, Nick. Don't you have some books to crack open? Or have you given up and realized you'll never take my spot as first?"
"You little punk!" He shoved me backwards now, momentarily forgetting Mello. "Think you're so much better than me? Just you wait, I'll take your spot by the end of the year. You'll be too distracted being his little boy toy to keep up with me."
"We're just friends, jackass," I said, but took a step backward regardless as he came closer. As much as I was for defending Mello, Nick was still bigger than me, and I really was rather hopeless when it came to fights. I just didn't think he would be so eager to start one with lunch so close to being over.
"Yeah sure," he said disbelievingly, taking a couple steps closer. Mello stepped up beside me, scowling at him.
"Back the fuck off, unless you want to get yourself suspended. That won't look good on your pretty record will it?" he sneered.
He glowered at both of us then glanced at the clock. The lunch bell was about to ring. He turned and stormed off, turning the corner and sending us one last glare.
"Asshole," I muttered before being pushed backwards into the lockers. I looked up, bewildered as Mello sneered at me.
"I told you to back off! I don't need or want your help! Get it through your head! I don't need protecting, especially from someone I barely know! It's my business so stay out of it!"
He glared at me before he too stormed off, leaving me confused, angry, and more than a little hurt.
