You keep saying that being alone with her for all those months was your own "personal hell." Really? Hellish enough to have inside jokes about Pearl Jam and Kurt Cocaine or whatever his name is. Hellish enough to have her over for breakfast with us every weekend since? And you make those ridiculous smiley pancakes that she pretends to hate, but secretly loves?
I've noticed the way she's been looking at you. More importantly, I've noticed the way you've been looking at HER. It hurts. So badly. Is this the ultimate retribution for how I obliged you to the sidelines to watch me with other men for YEARS before we got together?
Fan, shower, toilet, electric toothbrush, and blow-dryer. You couldn't possibly be that dumb. I know you're not that dumb. You're blinded by something. I'll help you see the light. She can't have you. She may want you, but I need you.
