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Despite the fact that he feels sick to his stomach, Bones insists on personally looking at everyone who was on the bridge at the time. Spock trails along, pointing out: "It is merely logical that I accompany you to provide a sense of normalcy, Doctor."

"Normalcy," Bones scoffs, not daring to look at his body. "Normalcy. Right."

"Are you doubting my logic, Doctor?"

"I'm doubting the whole-" Bones bites his tongue when a pair of nurses round the corner, chattering about their plans for next shore leave. Luckily, they don't seem to notice the scowl on Spock's face or Bones' unusually rigid, taut frame. Once they leave, Bones hisses, "How the hell are we going to make this right?"

He would never have guessed that his face could be so perfectly blank. "We wait, Doctor."

"We- what?" They both reach the med-bay and Bones proceeds to lock the door with his personal keycode. He rounds on Spock – er, his body, damn how were they going to keep this straight? – "Are you out of your Vulcan mind?"

There's a pounding on the door before somebody from the outside yells, "Bones, let me in."

Bones groans. "Damn, it's Jim."

"That much is evident, Doctor," Spock responds, his hands still clasped behind his back. "He is also our captain, which means that should you fail to acquiesce to his demands you run the risk of being labeled a-"

"You know what, Spock? Sometimes you can be a real-"

The doors slide open and Jim strolls in with Uhura trailing behind him. "Sorry. Forgot I have the override code for all rooms."

"What do you want?" Bones demands.

"Answers." Kirk looks as though he's trying to suppress the delight that Christmas has come early. "What exactly happened on that bridge?"

"You tell me," Bones grumps, slouching onto one of the bio beds.

Kirk decides not to comment on how weird it is to see Spock so emotional, cantankerous, and… slouchy. Instead, he turns to Spock – er, Bones, er, what? – and tucks his hands into his pockets. "Alright, Spock. Tell me, since Bones is being such a grump."

Spock folds his hands behind his body and raises his chin a little –such a Spock move, Uhura thinks, pressing her fingers to her mouth. "At oh four hundred hours we were approaching the Kragtowlian System, passing by the moon of the planet Hon'Tihl-"

"It's great to see that you haven't changed mentally," Kirk says sarcastically.

"I do not understand, Captain, I believe my mental faculties are perfectly funct-"

"This, Spock, this." Kirk waves his arm at both Bones and Spock. "How did this happen?"

"That I am not certain of, Captain. I was in the middle of issuing orders, per your request when-"

"Per your request?" Bones sits up straight in the bed. "Yeah, where the hell were you, Jim?"

The captain sputters guiltily. "That's not the point-"

"Were you avoiding me because you didn't take the medication that I told you to?"

"NOT THE POINT," Jim says loudly. "Might I remind you that I'm not the one who's not in their right body? How are we supposed to fix this?" As a desperate attempt, he turns to Spock in Bones' body. "Spock, any bright ideas?"

"As I was telling Doctor McCoy earlier, I suggest that our highest priority is not to alarm the whole crew," Spock says, and Kirk almost winces at how dissonant it is to hear that Southern accent so flat and unfeeling. "Captain, I suggest that we proceed as though all is normal."

"You want me to lie to the crew?" Kirk asks.

"Lying, no. Exaggeration perhaps." Spock shrugs. "Vulcans are incapable of telling a lie."

Kirk snorts. "That certainly didn't stop you last week-"

Uhura emphatically clears her throat and Kirk rolls his eyes. "Alright, fine, fine. If no one asks we'll be okay, at least until this-" and he waves his hand at the two of them, "-wears off." He frowns. "And how long will that be exactly?"

"What about the other crew members that were also on the bridge at the time?" Uhura asks, ignoring Kirk as always.

"They seem fine. Mental faculties checked out. They also don't seem to be behaving too strangely," Kirk responds. He shrugs when Bones swivels his new head to look at him. "I talked to Chapel. She's handling all of them."

"But if they are under no adverse effects… why did it only affect Doctor McCoy and myself?"

"Maybe because this is just my luck," Bones grouses, rubbing the bridge of Spock's nose. "Really, Jim, why did I sign on for this five-year mission?"

"Because you said – and I quote – 'Somebody needs to stop you from doing something stupid, and you never listen to Spock so there needs to be at least two of us to hold you down.'" Jim smirks. "The irony."

Then he looks at Uhura, who looks as though she's just seen a ghost. "What?" he asks, the gleeful smile slipping off his face.

"The diplomatic mission with the Argelians," Uhura says. "They're expecting you and Spock to negotiate a treaty with them. Today. And you know that without the treaty there can be no-"

"-safe passage through the Argelian Belt," Kirk finishes. "The thought did briefly occur to me, yes." He shrugs. "I don't see anything wrong with that."

"If I may, Captain-"

"You're going to say it anyway whether I allow it or not-"

"-Lieutenant Uhura brings up a very valid point," Spock says, ignoring Kirk's quip. "The Argelians specified very clearly that they would only negotiate with you and your First Commander. They are expecting nothing else."

"So I'll just go as you," Bones says.

"Illogical. You do not have the necessary or relevant information to assist the Captain with this treaty."

"Well, I can't bring Bones with me," Kirk says, gesturing at his friend's body before remembering. "I can't bring you with me, I mean. I mean-"

"Can't I go?" Uhura demands.

"Negative. The Argelians are a species that adhere very closely to their contracted words. They will not accept any slight modification to what they have already conceived."

"We'll call them and tell them plans have changed."

"They will fire on you."

"There's got to be a way," Kirk snaps.

All four of them stay silent for a while before Bones sighs loudly. "You don't have a choice. I'll have to go. I'll just – nod at whatever Jim says."

"That's going to seem extremely uncharacteristic of Spock."

"You got any other bright ideas?"

Kirk only shrugs. "I do, but they all involve a heavy deal of shooting and right now we can't afford that. Here's what we're going to do. Spock, take Bones and go over the treaty outlines one more time. Make sure Bones knows it cold before we head into that room. Uhura, come with me. We're going to pay those crew members in the other room a visit, and somehow convince them to keep their mouths shut."

"And Sulu and Chekov?"

"Let's face it – those two don't talk to anyone else but each other. They're not going to tell anyone." Kirk thinks about it for a moment. "On second thought, you go see the crew members. I'll go get Sulu and Chekov to shut it."


As always.. the routine stays the same. Reviews, though optional, are highly appreciated!

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