Title: Everybody Lies (3/?)
Author: Icicle
Pairings: Harry/Draco, Hermione/Theo Nott
Prompt: House M.D. Adaption- Draco as Gregory House—the grumpy, medical genius, who solves obscure medical mysteries and pushes Harry's buttons. Harry as Lisa Cuddy, Draco's boss and hospital administrator, who has to put up with all of Draco's childish antics but is also secretly in love with him. Gregory Goyle as James Wilson, Draco's best friend and enabler. Hermione Granger, Theodore Nott, and Zacharias Smith as Draco's Diagnostic Team.
Summary: Harry is the youngest Healer to ever run a hospital. Draco is his best Healer, and along with his world class team of Hermione Granger, Theodore Nott, and Zacharias Smith, they solve cases that no one else can crack. This doesn't mean that Draco isn't still the world's biggest prat, even if he is sexy. Harry has no intention of sleeping with him — again — especially when he continues to obsess over dead patients and put his hospital at risk.
Word Count: ~15k
Rating: T to begin with but eventually MA
Warnings/Contains: Post War AU, snarky!Draco, humor, a mixture of magical and Muggle medicine (some of it embellished and played with on my part), disabled Draco (he has a permanent limp), mysterious illnesses, UST
Author's Notes: Thank you to everyone who read part 2! This is the last chapter where the rating will stay T. Next chapter there will be smut, so you have been warned.
Enjoy!
:: 3 ::
Draco and Nott were indulging themselves in a box of sweets he had swiped from the Mediwizards' lounge when Smith showed up.
He helped himself to a chocolate and then smugly told them that the test was negative. "It's viral gastroenteritis like I predicted." He plopped down in the chair closest to Draco and then put his feet up on the table, the soles of his trainers squeaking against the glass. "I win."
Picking his walking stick up as quietly as possible, Draco leant closer to Smith and then smacked his feet off the table. "Keep your feet off my table," he grumbled. "And—you did not win."
Draco scowled. He liked Smith a lot better when he was kissing his arse rather than showing off. That was his job.
"Sorry, Malfoy, you might be Potter's Golden Boy, but this time you're wrong. Not everything is a mysterious illness." He reached over and patted Draco on the back. "Don't be a sore loser, mate. I'll go discharge our patient."
"Get your hands off me, Smith." Draco wrinkled his nose. "I don't want your Hufflepuff germs. I've heard their contagious. And—I am your boss not your mate."
"Oh, real mature, Malfoy. You lose one case to me and have to resort to childish insults." Smith curled his bottom lip into a sneer. "You might be my boss, but I'm tired of defending my house to you. Just because I'm a Hufflepuff doesn't mean—"
"Seriously you two, stop." Nott put himself in between Draco and Smith. He glared at both of them and berated them as if he were an angry mother. "Malfoy, grow up. Zach, sorry to break it to you, mate, but Hufflepuff sucks."
"I can't believe your taking his—"
Nott ignored Smith's remark and started walking away from the table towards the doorway. Draco hoped that he wouldn't go squeal to Potter.
"I'm discharging the patient. No more games."
Draco gave him a scornful look. "Oh, now you care about the patient? I thought he was just a Muggle." Draco stuck his tongue out at Nott. "Stop trying to impress, Granger, she's not even here."
Nott cursed under his breath, probably grumbling about how much of an arse Draco was. Draco didn't argue. He was an arse, a miserable bastard even, like all the Mediwitches always said, but he never cared what anyone else thought. As long as he was right. Being right was more important, which is why he needed to find a way to solve this case. Plus, he couldn't do that if Nott discharged the patient.
After several seconds, he said, "We need a kidney biopsy. That's where the disease is striking next."
Nott's eyes grew so wide that Draco was afraid they were going to bulge out of his eye sockets. They were glowing with fear. "You really have gone loony. I'm not letting you do a kidney biopsy on a 6-year-old boy just for your twisted amusement. I'm tired of enabling you, Malfoy. I'm not Goyle. I'll go to Potter right now if I have to."
Bollocks, Draco thought, so much for Nott's cooperation and understanding.
"Fine," Draco grumbled. "Do the kidney biopsy, make Smith run the tests, and then you can discharge the patient." Draco puckered his lips into a sour expression. "Assuming nothing is wrong with him, of course."
"I think I rather just go to Potter. You can threaten to fire me again when I get back."
Nott tried to walk through the door and Draco had to find a way to stop him. He knew that once Nott left the room he'd never be able to chase him. Hexing the idiot was out of the question too because then he'd have to deal with an angry Granger. Instead, he grabbed onto the back of his lab coat, attempting to force him to stay.
"Unhand me, you brute. Just because you're my boss doesn't mean I won't hit you."
Nott started shrugging off the coat and flailing his arms like an angry flamingo, leaving Draco with no other choice but to resort to plan B, cursing the idiot. Screw it—he could deal with Granger later. Cursing Nott with a few well-placed boils, should be enough to stop him momentarily. Theodore would never admit it, but he was a vain git.
Lifting his walking stick, Draco was about to hex Nott when Hermione ran in through the door, red faced and out of breath.
"Marvin's not going anywhere." She bent over, still huffing. "His urine is brown."
Draco slammed his walking stick on the floor. "Bloody fucking hell. We're too late." He turned around and glared at Nott. "Well, you got your wish. No biopsy. His kidneys are already failing."
Eventually, Hermione caught her breath. Her cheeks were still red from exertion, but it was obvious that she was worried. She always played with the hem of her lab coat when she was anxious.
"Should I?"
Draco nodded and then shifted his weight to his good leg. "Yes, go test for lymphoma." A deep pang throbbed in his left leg as he put any pressure on it at all. Damn, his Pain Potions were wearing off even faster than usual. Today was not a good pain day. He needed another dose and some air.
"I'm taking a break." He started limping towards the doorway. "Smith go help Granger."
When he was out the door, he added, "Nott, you can go tattle to Potter now if you want. He's probably taking a nap. Give him my regards."
: : : :
Harry let out a relieved sigh as he finished his final fire-call of the day. It had been a nightmare of an afternoon, and he was finally able to relax. Before walking over to the bookshelf behind his desk, he informed his assistant that he was not to be disturbed for the next hour.
As nervous as Martha was Harry actually loved working with her because she never asked any questions. She always answered all of his requests with, "Yes, Healer Potter or right away, Healer Potter, sir."
Running a hospital was beyond exhausting, so it was essential for his mental health to have at least a few people on his staff that were cooperative, especially since he dealt with the collateral damage of Draco and his diagnostic team on a daily basis.
He wasn't sure what Martha thought he did every time he asked for his hour break. Perhaps she thought he answered letters or took personal fire-calls. Perhaps she even thought that he snuck out for a quick bite to eat or some tea. The truth was actually so much more embarrassing that it didn't matter. Unless he was under Veritaserum, he would never admit to it.
Every afternoon or evening, depending on how long it took him to finish his work for the day, Harry closed all the blinds in his office and then poured himself a drink. He always kept a bottle of good Firewhiskey or scotch in a secret compartment behind his bookcase.
If drinking at work weren't bad enough, that wasn't his biggest his secret. Yes, drinking while working was on the unethical side, but it was only a temporary solution to his problems. Running a hospital on his own would have been enough to drive the average wizard to the bottle, but for Harry his job wasn't the problem. Although it was draining work, he truly loved it. No, his real problem was Draco fucking Malfoy.
Harry was certain that working with Malfoy would drive him into an early grave. His hair was already going grey at the temples just from dealing with the git's outrageous demands and purposely ignoring every rule in the St James employee contract.
He was not exaggerating.
On days where Malfoy didn't have an interesting case to work on and wanted to push Harry's buttons, he'd walk around with a copy of the contract and check off every rule he broke that day. The contract was 437 pages long and Malfoy had checked off about 90 percent of the rules.
Testing Harry's nerves wasn't even his biggest problem though. For years, Harry dealt with Malfoy trying to annoy him, push him over the edge-that was basically the norm of their relationship since he met the git at 11-years-old. No, the real problem was how attractive the arrogant prat was and how Harry couldn't stop thinking about that one night they slept together back in Healer Training. It was years ago, but no matter how many other relationships Harry had been in, how many blokes he'd shagged, he could never get Malfoy out of his head.
Pining after Malfoy was stupid. Harry knew this. As his boss, he needed to keep the upper hand with Malfoy. Not that it ever worked. And Malfoy— well— Malfoy had issues. Major issues.
Although he might be a medical genius, he was also a complete arse, an overgrown child, and incapable of forming meaningful relationships. Every person that got too close to Malfoy got burnt, so Harry had tried his best to keep his distance. Their relationship was flirtatious but strictly platonic. But that didn't mean that he couldn't fantasize about Malfoy in his spare time. There was no harm in that, right?
After finishing his drink, he sprawled himself out on the leather couch in his office. God, I'm pathetic, he thought, Hermione was right. I really do need to get a life outside of this job. He closed his eyes and tried not to think about Draco's messy blond hair and those piercing grey eyes.
TBC...
A/N: I'm sorry this chapter was a little on the short side. I promise the next one will be longer to make up for it. Plus, there will be smut! I'd really love to hear your thoughts good or bad on what you think of this Healer fic so far.
Thanks for reading and comments make my day!
~Icicle
